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fan fiction Deadpool Kills the DC universe Chapter 1


Thorgir the Mighty

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Note:I’ve already written this in my notes if you want another please tell me!

Deadpool Kills the DC Universe
A Universe Divided part 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the right to these characters, this fan fiction is only meant for fun and entertainment,it is not to be takes seriously.(unless you agree with me that Deadpool can kill the dc universe).

Deadpool: WOW this town is cleaner than Manhattan!
Deadpool Voice 1: you can eat off this concrete!
Deadpool Voice 2: I wouldn’t recommend that...
Deadpool:Anyways our first priority is to find some decent Mexican food! Let’s see...
Deadpool voice 1: Look a random stranger let’s ask him!
Deadpool:Great idea!
[Deadpool approaches the figure wearing a trench coat]
Deadpool: hey random stranger,know a place where I can get some decent Mexican food in town?
???: get away from me freak!
Deadpool:that’s not very nice...wait why are you wearing goggles?
???: I might as well freeze you now so you won’t bother me later!
Deadpool&both voices:FREEZE?
[The Man freezes deadpools feet]
???:HA! You’ll stay there until I finish my job!
[The Flash comes running towards the figure]
Flash:Captain Cold! I thought you were in prison!
Captain Cold: yeah? Well newsflash I’m out!
Deadpool: Captain Cold? Pfft even Bob had a better villain name than you!
Captain Cold: You shut up or I’ll—!!
Flash:you’ll do nothing! You trapped this innocent bystander in ice!
Deadpool voice 1: INNOCENT BYSTANDER?!?
Deadpool voice 2: Maybe he hasn’t heard of us.
Deadpool voice 1:true true
Captain Cold: Say Freeze,Fla—-
[Flash slows down time to a stop]
Deadpool:Woaaahhh
Flash:WHAT? You can move fast as well?!?
Deadpool voice 1: that watch doohickey that Stretchy-pants gave us!* see previous issue
Deadpool:That is it!
Flash thinking: this man is an idiot,he’s talking to no one!Anyways gotta take care of Captain Co-
Flash:WHAT?
[flash sees Captain colds head cut off and C4 strapped to his chest]
Deadpool:what? I killed your enemy!
Flash:you weren’t supposed to KILL HIM!!! You strapped C4 to his chest too?!?!?
Deadpool:Yess....?
Flash: How could you?!? You are a sick man,you deserve prison!
[deadpool pushes the time stopping device]
Deadpool: you want a fight,lightning boy? Well, you got one!
Flash:I have no idea how you can stop time,but I will put you in a prison!
[Deadpool and Flash fight each other for a few minutes,verbally and physically.But finally the fight came to an end.]
Flash:*Heavy breathing* I don’t understand, I hit you literally a million times in the key pressure points in the human body,and yet, your still alive and not even injured.how?
Deadpool: *straightening jaw*
OH MAMA THAT HURT! But my explanation is simple.*Deadpool pulls out a .50cal desert eagle*
Deadpool: I am cursed to be immortal and I can’t die.
Flash:We can help you, remove this curse!
Deadpool: nice try flash.*Cocks desert eagle* I love being how I am!
*BLAM*
[the town watches in horror that the flash has been killed]
Man 1: No the flash is dead!
Woman1: Kill the Red man!
Deadpool voice 1&2: We need to leave now!
[deadpool steals a vehicle from a citizen] 
Deadpool: dang I never thought he was a big deal!
[an arrow hits the cars hood]
Deadpool voice 2: an arrow?
Deadpool voice 1: HAWKEYE?!?
[the arrow starts beeping rapidly]
Deadpool: oh
Deadpool voice1&2: Shi—
*KABOOM*
[deadpool flings out the windshield]
*Crack*!
Deadpool:oh man I’ll feel that in the morning!
Arrow: You killed flash!
Deadpool: yeah yeah I know big deal!
Arrow: A BIG DEAL? He was my friend!
Speedy:And mine!
Artemis:mine as well
Deadpool:dang that’s a lot of pointy sticks.
Arrow:Ready,aim...
*Deadpool readys his katanas*
Arrow:FIRE!!!
*Deadpool teleports behind speedy and kills him by slicing him in half*
Arrow:SPEEDY!!!
*Artemis shoots a net arrow at deadpool*
Deadpool: dang I’m stuck!
Arrow: I will avenge Barry!!!
Deadpool:BAMF!!!
*Deadpool teleports begins Artemis and steals an explosive arrow,then activates it and stabs her in the eye with it* 
Artemis:AAAGH *pulls it out and throws it at deadpool*
*BAM*
Deadpool:OW THAT WAS MY HAND!
Arrow:Disgusting...
*Arrow shoots an arrow at deadpool*
Deadpool: HEY watch it fake Hawkeye!
Arrows thoughts:Hawkeye? That sound like a name an idiot would pick.
*deadpool throws a sleep gas grenade at Arrow and Artemis*
Arrow:DUCK!!!
*Artemis was to late to dodge,buy arrow dodged it,yet he caught a whiff*
Arrow:*sleepily* no Artemis...
*Deadpool throws a frag at Artemis*
*Deadpool pulls a baseball bat*
Deadpool:Sweet dreams,Hawkeye rip-off! *KLONK*
[a few hours later in a empty warehouse surrounded by the police]
[also Deadpool has been attacked frequently by flashes and arrows enemies so deadpool trapped them all in here]
Police Chief: Stranger,we have you surrounded!!! Surrender the nuclear weapons and the villains along with our heroes to us!!!
Deadpool:HECK NO!!!
Deadpool voice 2:are we gonna nuke the town?!?
Deadpool voice 1:AWESOME!!!
Deadpool:Yes of course we’re gonna nuke this town!!!
Arrow:You sick monster! This town has millions of innocent people!
Deadpool: yeaaahhh I’m just doing this because these KNOCK OFF CHARACTERS KEPT TRYING TO KILL ME!!! Like shark man over there!
King Shark:it’s king shark idiot!!!
Deadpool : blah blah blah!!! Most of you guys are copying one another as well,such as yellow spandex boy and white lightning dude!
Zoom: we aren’t copying each other!
Godspeed: you will die for this mortal!
Anyways it’s almost 12 and I am past my curfew.so I’m pushing this button right n-
???: WAIT!!!!
Deadpool: what the hec—YOU!!!
???: yes it’s me...GREEN LANTERN!!!
Deadpool: I will gladly kill my past with you!
Arrow:Hal what’s he talking about?
Green lantern:We were played by the same actor,Ryan Reynolds.
Deadpool: Yes But I DONT want Ryan playing you EVER AGAIN!!! Ryan PLAYS ME FOR MY MOVIES!!!Green Lantern:Let’s do this man to man*makes a sword*
Deadpool:agreed.*unsheathes katanas*
[Deadpool and Green lantern have a sword fight for a while until]
Deadpool:your dead Hal,give up!
Green lantern: HA! All I needed to do was distract you long enough!
Deadpool:for what?
John Stewart:For this Deadpool!
Deadpool: DANG IT YOU FREED THEM!
John Stewart:Exactly,Hal districted you long enough for—
Deadpool:that’s enough of that.im activating the nuke!
All: NOOOOOOOO—-
*KABAAAAAAM*!!!!
[Wonder Woman was passing over Star City when the nuke went off]
Wonder Woman:By Themyscira , what happened?!?
[Wonder Woman Spots deadpool on the edge of the city,and she decides to take him to Themyscira to heal him to see if he knew,because he was still alive]

Hippolyta: DIANA! You know men can’t come to Themyscira!!!
Wonder Woman: I know mother but this man was still alive at Star City when it was destroyed.This man may have answers to what happened.i need to know so I can figure out who destroyed the town and warn Batman and Superman about this new threat.
Hippolyta:Very Well.As soon as you get your answer drop him off somewhere.
Wonder Woman:I will.
[A week later]
Deadpool:ugh my head...am I still regenerating?
Deadpool voice 2: Well we are still dizzy from the explosions.
Deadpool voice 1:And our ears are ringing a bit.
Deadpool voice 2:but other than that,we’re great!
Deadpool:Great!!! Let’s go get some Tacos!!!
[deadpool wanders around the medical facility of Themyscira for a bit]
Deadpool: Wow this place isn’t very advanced,all I see is stone,quartz and other minerals.Oh look the Exit!
[Deadpool opens the door]
HOLY! I AM IN HEAVEN!!!
Hot Ladies are everywhere!!!
Deadpool voice 1: score!!!
Wonder Woman: You!
[deadpool turns around]
Deadpool:Hello there miss...?
Deadpool voice 1: Miss Captain America?
Deadpool voice 2:Shut up! If we call her something stupid we’ll ruin our chances with her!
Wonder Woman: I need your help mr—
Deadpool:Wade.Wade Wilson at your service!
Wonder Woman:WILSON?!?
[Wobder Woman throws Deadpool towards the wall and points her sword towards his neck]
Wonder Woman: I don’t need your help no more,you are related to Slade Wilson!
Deadpool voice 1&2: WE HAVE A BROTHER FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE!?!?!?!
Deadpool:Woah,woah,woah,woah!
I have a brother here?!?
Wonder Woman:Do not play dumb man! Did you and Slade destroy Star City along with my friends!?!
Deadpool:Well I have never seen my brother Slade but yes! I destroyed the city!
Wonder Woman:ENOUGH!!!
[Wonder Woman Slices deadpools throat]
Deadpool: I have no idea why,but that actually tickled!
Wonder Woman: By the Gods! How..?
Deadpool:Sorry,I can’t die no matter what,and you girls are officially my enemies!
*deadpool unsheathes his katanas*
Let’s dance girlfriends!
[Deadpool and Wonder Woman fight vigorously while killing some of the Amazons and Deadpool continually getting trapped by them he cleverly outsmarts them until]
Wonder Woman: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FIGHT!!!
[Wonder Woman slices Deadpool’s arms off and kicks him to the ground]
Wonder Woman: I cannot kill you mortal,but I can trap you for an eternity!
Deadpool:Hey! I will not be trapped by women for an eternity!
Wonder Woman: You are beaten,your arms have been amputated from you body,I have won!
[Deadpool rolls towards one arm and attaches it back,then grabs the other and reattaches it]
Wonder Woman:By the Gods....
Amazon1:Gross...
Deadpool: wait what is this in my pouch?
Wonder Woman:I shall smite you demon!
Deadpool:demon? Smite? A little Thor talk eh?
Wonder Woman:CHAAAAAARRR—
Deadpool:I wouldn’t do that if I were you!
[the Amazons and Diana look at deadpool,and notice he has 15 pounds of C4 on his chest]
Wonder Woman:Do it.
Deadpool:Seriously?
Wonder Woman:I know you won’t hurt yourself to kill us.
Deadpool:Oh dang you caught me,I would never—PSYCH!!!
Wonder Woman: NO YOU FOO-
*KABLAM*
Deadpool:ooooooooohhh man,that hurt.
Deadpool voice 2:is she dead?
Deadpool:hmm
[deadpool checks her pulse]
Deadpool:Nope we will kill her when she wakes up.
[Wonder Woman looks at deadpool hazily,then stands up to protect her mother]
Wonder Woman: *cough,cough* I must protect my mother!
[Wonder Woman runs through the halls,they were filled with dead Amazonians.Then finally she sees Deadpool,on her mother’s throne]
Deadpool: oh hey! I’ve been in here for about an hour or so.So how are you holding up?
Wonder Woman:YOU HAVE DEFILED THEMYSCIRA WITH YOUR DEATHFUL LUSTS!!! I HAVE NO OTHER OPTION BUT TO CUT YOU TO PIECES!!!
Deadpool: as much as I’d like that but now,I’m gonna hafta kill you!
Unless you surrender your island to me I’ll spare your queen!
[Diana looked and saw her mother was wrapped in the Lasso Of Thruth,deadpool must have taken it while she was unconscious]
Wonder Woman: You are a demon.
Deadpool: A handsome,witty,demon perhaps?
Wonder Woman:No,and I will not surrender Themyscira to a man like you!
Deadpool:Oh well.*BLAM*
Wonder Woman: MOTHER!!!
[Enraged Diana threw her sword at deadpool.missing his head the sword got stuck in the wall.Knowing her mother is dead,she kneels down and starts to weep for her mother]
Wonder Woman: *sob* you wiped us out,demon,are you happy now?
Deadpool:No. I need to get rid of one more bad fruit.
Wonder Woman:Do it.Youve beaten me,and Themyscira.If your going to kill me,do it.
Deadpool:Ok.*Slice*
Deadpool voice 1:well that was easy.
Deadpool voice 2:Maybe we should have left these people alone...
Deadpool:They were enemies! We had to!
Deadpool voice 2:ok so how are we gonna leave?
Deadpool:I haven’t thought of that.
Deadpool voice 1: what is this lump in our pouch?
Deadpool: A lump?
[deadpool opens the pouch]
Deadpool:A RING!!!!
Deadpool voice 2:A GREEN LANTERN RING!!!! We can use this to fly!
Deadpool:Good idea! Let’s do it!
[deadpool slips the ring on,and strangely,accepts him]
Deadpool:thank you Ryan Reynolds! Because you played me and green lantern were practically the same person!Aw man we have to wear green!
Deadpool voice 1:Hey it’s worth it let’s try out our new toy!
[deadpool creates a clone of himself]
Deadpool:Wow...neat
Deadpool voice 1: Hey what’s that in the sky!
[Deadpools construct disappears]
Deadpool: it looks like,a satellite.
Deadpool voice 2:A big satellite.Maybe a space base?
Deadpool: let’s fly up there!
[so deadpool grabs the Lasso of Truth,and Wonder Woman’s shield,
deadpool flies to the space base,little does he know that it’s...THE WATCHTOWER!]

The End of Part 2

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27 minutes ago, kaiser5578 said:

damn... that was a fast dispatching of old GA and Flash... and one of the big three

oh well, at least Arowette got off scoff free

Yep you can expect the next issue sometime tomorrow. For Deadpool will face the many heroes & villains with plot twists!

  • Brohoof 1
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If I may offer some constructive critism, isn't deadpool killing off everyone a bit fast? Like, I'd expect at least Flash,Wonderwoman and Green Arrow to at least put up a bit more of a fight than this. 

  • Brohoof 1
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true, those are some big players to be knocking off so quickly

maybe just one or two every here and there with a big burst of them out of nowhere

than just throw some c and d list characters onto the chopping block to fill time

  • Brohoof 1
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Especially since WW,flash,arrowverse is dead,the JLA WILL be ticked off,And will use deadly force against Wade to stop him 

Especially since supes,and all the lanterns,and even the enemies held captive in the Watchtower (especially Doomsday,and many others).

  • Brohoof 1
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