Anti Jokes

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

For those of you who may not know what an anti joke is, it is a statement built up to sound like a joke, but it fails to deliver the punch line. There in lies the humor.

For example:

What do you call 30 lawyers at the bottom of a lake?

A horrible boating accident.

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree?

A refrigerator.

What's green and has wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Now give me an anti joke or an anti meme.

[King of Canterlot 9,588]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It didn't it became road kill 

[SharpWit 2,472]

Did you hear about the one about the guy who had amnesia? If so, could you remind me how it goes?

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?

Because he was hit by a bus.

[Longhaul 6,470]

Why did the monkey fall from the tree?

It was dead.

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being an animal not capable of speech or complex reasoning, shits on the floor and leaves.

[megisawsm417 69]

Did you hear about the guy who crashed into a donut truck?

He died.

[A French Derpy full of Salt 404]

Which object has the mute option for a baby?

A brick.

[Lord Valtasar 12,685]

what should i do with this old rag?
rip it
what should i do with this old rag?
Rip it..
what should i do with this old rag?..
i said rip IT!
What should i do with this old Rag?!
RIP IT!!
and so on..
 

Edited June 27, 2018 by Lord Valtasar

[Brony Number 42 9,896]

Did you hear about the math student who did a closed contour integral around a pole and didn't account for the singularity? He obtained a non zero result in what he thought was a conserved vector field.

[Nature Tune 8,391]

Mom: Steve, wake up!

Steve: Mommm, I don't wanna go to schooool. Let me sleep in for once, mom, ONCE

Mom: Come on!

Steve: Give me TWO good reasons why I should go to school then.

Mom: *deadpan voice* Steve, you're 42 and the principal.

[SharpWit 2,472]

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

[Wannabrony 11,638]

How many people can you fit on a boat that's two feet in length?

A lot, but they would just all drown.

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

What did the farmer say when his tractor was stolen?

Where's my tractor?

[Wannabrony 11,638]

What you call a jam that was made from pickles?

Disgusting.

[A French Derpy full of Salt 404]

What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?

The wheel chair.

[The Recherche 29,965]

A middle-class Mexican guy, a Polish CEO, and a South African merchant walk into a bar.

Spoiler

They all sit together, and have a polite conversation with each other.

 

[Rikifive 23,472]

A grandma went to the shop, but it was locked. She noticed something on the ground. What it was?

Spoiler

It was the pavement.

 

[Will Guide 21,325]

If pink house are made out of pink, and blue houses are made out of blue, then what are green houses made out of?

Spoiler

Glass

 

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

Why did Sarah fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

 

knock knock.

(Who's there?)

Not Sarah.

[Rikifive 23,472]

What is 2 + 2 * 2?

Spoiler

Maths 

 

[MangoFoalix 24,898]

What do you call a person who likes jelly?

A jelly person

[Wannabrony 11,638]

What do you get if you mix white flour and white milk in a white bowl?

Spoiler

An unfinished batter for cookies.

 

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

What do you call a black guy on the moon?

An astronaut.

[Rikifive 23,472]

What is behind the wall?

Spoiler

A wall from the other side.