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What is your opinion on gender neutral parenting?


Feather Scribbles

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(edited)
7 hours ago, ShadOBabe said:

Sondash... hon... you are a dude watching My Little Pony. I used to be a little girl that watched Transformers.

Entertainment ”for Boys” and “for Girls” has long since been blurred. All that matters is if it’s good.

I didn't mean it in that sense... I was saying that guns, cars, fighting movies, etc. are more appropriate for boys. Except MLP. The same for girls. But if they feel like they like other stuff, let it be. I was only talking then in a general  term.

Edited by Sondash Studios
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It's stupid. Why have genders when we're just gonna mix and match. It doesn't make sense. How is a kid even supposed to make a reasonable decision on whether or not he/she wants to transition if they haven't even established a mature mind yet. Why is it that after about 200,000 years of humans inhabiting this Earth, it's only now that we want to start screwing with biology?

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Not my kid(s), so they can raise them whatever they want them to be.

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It isn't a matter of parenting that boys like boy things and girls like girl things. Kids live their lives according to natural instinct and unlike most adults, aren't influenced by what's trendy from one day to the next. I always see people trying to turn kids into something they aren't, but any child will tell you what they value; girls have a natural nurturing instinct and boys have more of a combative one. I can't see why anyone would want to change a child's natural instincts to satisfy something fleeting and meaningless. Celebrate who they are and then get out of their way.  

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On 6/4/2018 at 6:15 PM, Feather Scribbles said:

What is your opinion on gender neutral parenting? Should the idea that dresses (as an example) are for girls and that guns (as an example) are for boys remain intact, or should they be abolished?

It really doesn't matter at the end of the day. If you are a dude and are into dresses, that's just what you're into. You shouldn't be shamed for it. But you also shouldn't have it foisted upon you either. Same with girls and guns. I don't get why this is such a big talking point within liberal/conservative politics.

People are individuals first and foremost; superficial aspects like gender, race etc, do not dictate what you are allowed to be interested in. 

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8 hours ago, SkyDive said:

I'm beginning to wonder if this thread was a bad idea. While I'm sure the author didn't intend it, lots of arguments are happening.

I did not anticipate all these arguments happening. They are currently petty, but if they get any worse, I'll delete the thread.

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22 hours ago, Dreambiscuit said:

It isn't a matter of parenting that boys like boy things and girls like girl things. Kids live their lives according to natural instinct and unlike most adults, aren't influenced by what's trendy from one day to the next. I always see people trying to turn kids into something they aren't, but any child will tell you what they value; girls have a natural nurturing instinct and boys have more of a combative one. I can't see why anyone would want to change a child's natural instincts to satisfy something fleeting and meaningless. Celebrate who they are and then get out of their way.  

This, pretty much how I feel.

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On 6/5/2018 at 12:43 AM, The Recherche said:

I would be a massive hypocrite if I said otherwise; do you think My Little Pony was intended for 16 year old guys?

Of course not, but still that doesn't make me stop feeling socially ashamed somehow for liking it, honestly. Personally, I feel really weird when discussing it in public.

 

 

The whole topic itself is a fifty-fifty for me. The whole concept of parenting is all about teaching your child various and multiple aspects of life and behaviour. If one's gender perception becomes distorted, and following the approach to numerous life issues, the parenting part will suffer as well.

On my own example, I have never taken part in rough&tumble activities with my dad. Something that is considered predominantly male thing, as statistically males are more prone to aggression and force than females. The activity is there to teach you compassion and guilt, to teach you that your actions have consequences and how easy it is to hurt someone. To teach you morals you should follow in making decision on how to behave in daily life. As a result, I really often end up hurting people around me uninintentionally, because I often speak or do things without considering other's emotions. And the issue here begins when my own kids would come into equation. The rough&tumble play is such an unknown activity for me that I will feel awkward doing this. I will have inner barriers stopping me from going too far, or in this case far enough to teach the kid what they need to learn. So this will directly reflect on my own parenting.

And sure, if we lived in a world where genders would be neutral altogether, this would not pose any problems. But let's face reality here and say it: We don't, and we won't. Simply because men are different than women on a genetical level. And that's something you won't change, both genders will always pursue different qualities.

 

I fear that gender neutral world is utopian visage, and while I do not interfere in people pursuing the idea as it's their choice, I do not support them either as I feel it's a wasted effort that might do more harm than good to humanity as a whole.

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On 6/5/2018 at 7:59 PM, Rawzy said:

It's stupid. Why have genders when we're just gonna mix and match. It doesn't make sense. How is a kid even supposed to make a reasonable decision on whether or not he/she wants to transition if they haven't even established a mature mind yet. Why is it that after about 200,000 years of humans inhabiting this Earth, it's only now that we want to start screwing with biology?

Do you think modern gender norms or structures have existed across all human society? Because they definitely have not. You are confusing cultural standards with biology. Women in Saudi Arabia are not Allowed to drive, this is not because of biology it is because of cultural standards. If a women has the urge to be a leader, to work hard, to stand up for herself, and you get it the way of it then you are screwing with biology. Complex human society needs variation to be successful. When you trample individuality just to uphold standards that make you comfortable, do you even consider the victims of your thinking? You're really just trying to force other people to be like you, but have you even considered why?

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The characters on the show do well to showcase how I feel about gender rolls. Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack are female every bit as much as Flutteryshy, and Rarity. Shining Armor is nurturing and emotional. He's also a guard (a stereotypically "manly") job. People are multifaceted and parents should observe the natural inclinations of their children and as long as they aren't to hurt anyone, then they should encourage them to be the best version of themselves possible and nothing more. Let boys like blue or pink or girls play with trucks or dolls. Don't force it, but encouraging well roundedness is a good idea. Studies have shown that the happiest people tend to not be the "extreme" but rather, the most well rounded individuals. 

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I'd let the kids choose, really. If I had a son and he'd want to wear a dress, sure. If I have a daughter who likes toy cars or whatever, why not? What's important to me, though, is that if the kids themselves choose the stereotypical things that go along with their gender, I'd be fine about it too. Too often it seems like 'gender-neutral' is being used to mean 'gender-inverted', and I cannot stand parents forcing their kids to do something like that just so they can seem progressive.

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9 minutes ago, KatonRyu said:

I'd let the kids choose, really. If I had a son and he'd want to wear a dress, sure. If I have a daughter who likes toy cars or whatever, why not? What's important to me, though, is that if the kids themselves choose the stereotypical things that go along with their gender, I'd be fine about it too. Too often it seems like 'gender-neutral' is being used to mean 'gender-inverted', and I cannot stand parents forcing their kids to do something like that just so they can seem progressive.

^Couldn't have said it better myself! /)^3^(\

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I know that this is a hard pill to swallow for many, but by and large boys are masculine and girls are feminine by their nature. Gender norms are a big part of how children learn about how men and women interact with one another. It's fine if they play with whatever toys they want, watch what cartoons they want, etc., if they really want to. But it can potentially be harmful to development if these norms aren't acknowledged and taught. Mostly in their interactions with other children. 

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Gender neutral is impossible or wrong. A boy is nog a girl and a girl is nog a boy. We are different for good reasons. We need to treat eachother equally, but there are differences we need to accept and live. ;) We can not pretent to be the same. We must be treatened equally, but we are not the same.

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I don't know if I'm walking into a bunch of flying bullets here...
... but I think typical gender roles are fine up until the kid gets old enough to decide what they'd like to be treated as, you know?
My opinion is that parents shouldn't "force" their kids to do anything or act any particular way. Just raise 'em right and fairly.

2 hours ago, Hierok said:

We can not pretent to be the same. We must be treatened equally, but we are not the same.

I agree, boys and girls are just simply different from each other :)
But like I said, once someone is ready to decide how they want to be treated, such as the way they wanna dress, act, speak, etc. People should be okay with that.

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I think it's amazing that most people without kids have such strong opinions on how others should raise them and even want to pass laws that dictate how others raise their kids.

Whatever happened to "don't tell me how to raise my kids"? and "if you want to do that, have your own kids"? I think it's extremely crappy to get up here and try to demand people change the way we've always raised kids and act like you know better. I dare anyone here who is insisting how "wrong" it is to raise kids with "Gender stereotypes" to go up to someone with actual kids and tell them they are doing it wrong. I dare anyone, hell I double dare anyone. A lot of you all are all talk until you are forced to actually try to enforce your ideals on someone or forced to do it yourself.

The fact of the matter is: kids are not easy. There is also no freakin' guidebook on how to raise them. You don't just consult the manual when something goes wrong and the environment many of you are saying we should be raising them in... It's not as easy to create as you would think.

On 6/5/2018 at 4:44 AM, Jeric said:

Gender neutrality is a myth. It can't exist as long as a majority of society isn't gender neutral.

And here is the truth.

What happens when your little "gender neutral" environment comes crashing down when kids go to school and see everyone else doesn't live like that? The school is not going to eliminate gender just for you either. You will actually make kids MORE confused.

As Jeric I am sure will tell you, if your kid is not gender vanilla... It'll become apparent and you should adjust according, but don't start prepping for a non-gender conforming kid before you've confirmed you've even got one!

That being said though, stop saying people are being a problem or whatnot because they raise their kids with gender norms. You're criticizing people's parenting and I am damn sure you would not like it done to you. Opinions on the parenting of others is generally not something you should share in public because it's rude and assuming. Raise YOUR kids how you want, but can you please stop trying to influence how I raise mine?

On 6/5/2018 at 8:44 PM, TBD said:

Not my kid(s), so they can raise them whatever they want them to be.

Most sensible thing said in here so far. Seriously, I find it really stupid that most of the people in here with strong opinions on how others should raise their kids do not have any. This used to be the proper etiquette, you didn't tell others how to raise their kids unless they were abusing them, even then the law was what stepped in, not you. In this neverending train to try and be progressive we are now basically trying to more or less control other people's kids.

I personally do not agree with gender neutral parenting but I will not stop you from doing it nor will I go up to you and tell you to stop. I just do not want it forced upon me.

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(edited)

I have no problem with it. In my case, it's not any of my concern what other people do.

Edited by TheTaZe
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15 hours ago, Key Sharkz said:

, you didn't tell others how to raise their kids unless they were abusing them, even then the law was what stepped in, not you. In this neverending train to try and be progressive we are now basically trying to more or less control other people's kids.

 

Exactly, If it's something that's against the law and harmful to the children like  abuse,neglect, sexual abuse ects then it a sign when I would step in.  

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What nonsense! If I have a daughter I’m sure as hell gonna teach her how to shoot and defend herself with lethal force if needed. 

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