LGBT Chatroom

[Here No Longer 5,270]

27 minutes ago, Bas said:

I just remember a writing at the LGBTQ+ club.

The issue isn't that I am seeing sexual discrimination.

The issue is that you don't.

I could barely agree any more.

I couldn't have said it any better myself what bothers me about people who aren't accepting of others who aren't straight and/or cisgender. Or those who think it's okay for others to. Discrimination in that way is also technically being sexist, too.

 

I've never been to a gathering place of any sort specifically for other LGBT persons like myself. Living in a rural part of a state in the Deep South might be part of that. :/

 

For those of you who don't read other posts in the thread and don't know, I'm gay and gender neutral. I also consider myself to be polyamorous but unfortunately I have a BF that isn't.

Edited September 4, 2019 by Dustlicious

[Sphinx-Ara 3,517]

Just now, Bas said:

The latter apart, I am not ruling out any of these for me yet, and I am not opposed to living any of these in my life.

I got the feeling you are a pretty emotional, sensible, loving person. ❤️

Thank you, we had chatted here and there, I believe

[Ittoni 536]

Agender asexual aromantic here. 

How's it going.

[Thuja 3,658]

On 9/4/2019 at 7:26 PM, Bas said:

In which country are you living? CA?

There might be youth organizations able to help you out there, or maybe even some queer ones. If you want my assistance looking for one, I can see if I can locate any.

(What more concretely do you require help with?)

I currently live in Ontario Canada, there are youth programs where I live but the max age is 26 and I’m 28.  There aren’t any programs for older lgbt+ folks where I live, I think my community is focusing on youth programs right now none for people that’re older.  They all say they aren’t comfortable with having anyone older than 26 at their groups because there are a lot of kids in groups.  I’ve heard of one possibility for 26+ aged people but things happen really slowly around here so the group might happen next year if ever.  I don’t really think anyone can help with that for now tbh but I appreciate your offer!!

[Thuja 3,658]

On 9/8/2019 at 3:18 PM, Bas said:

Did you ask them if they got any further references for you? Like other people or orgs you could turn to?
Maybe you could ask them to organize other people to form a group, or search for other LGBTQ communities.

A possibility, I'll have to see if I can do that.

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

11 hours ago, Bas said:

So I was at a LGBT meetup today.

It was...weird? I sit like 1.5hours in different corners outdoors because I literally didn't know anyone. Being tardy and others being like me have likely found someone during that time didn't help either.

In the last 30-60 mins though; I started to talk to Lüv (?), a trans women at 55 yo in the charge, and Stefanie, which I actually knew from before, she is basically in charge there as well (or something).

I was kinda suggested to go to the gay group (which includes a few bis) in the future, which I am not sure is fitting for me.

I actually liked the youth general LGBTQ group, as it was...less defined. Unfortunately, I turned out to be to old, while it officially was up to 27 (and me 30) most of there are rather 20 or younger. *

My issues is basically that I don't even know whether I am LGBTQ or not.

I certainly go the hots for the girls...for men, it is more complicated. I don't go like OH THAT GUY IS HOT I WANT A BABY FROM YOU.  I forgot the term, it isn't strictly asexual, but some people here described (in general, not towards a gender) it as requiring an emotional attachment towards a person before considering doing the thing even an option. That is basically how I feel about males only**, if I like (or like like like ❤️❤️❤️) that person, I won't let the gender/sex stop me from that - that's the theory at least, as it never went to that state ever. As somepony else wrote here...I would like not to get stopped by what is between their legs, then.

(Feel free to add the *sexual-word I am missing here!)

* It might be an option to create such a group at that center. I might talk to them by tomorrow again.

** To be honest...once I am fine myself with being attracted (in whatever way) to males, I am very likely to be fine with being not only homosexual, but rather also bisexual and pansexual, as it will not make any difference to me afterwards whether you are a born male, female, not born male or female, born as both or don't identify as either.

And I can at least imagine getting into a polymorphous relationship. Another theory, though... as I wasn't even in a monogamous one. For me, it doesn't equal to an open relationship, which I see more as...very sexually orientated with these demands, but rather as being able to love multiple people at once, emotionally. Maybe living together, hugging, kissing, that thing too, watching movies, cooking, living together, holding hands, etc.

A revelation about myself...I think for most of my lifetime, I thought about homosexuals way too focused on doing that thing. instead of also considering the emotional and romantic feelings. Being gay doesn't equal to being emergency horny for the boys.

Today, I also thought a lot about being trans does carry very many...complications in daily life which can barely be all foreseen. It contradicts and challenges many of the fundamental views of people and is hard to grasp for some - and for some topics, even for me.

Hmm...sounds like you're like me then. Demisexual is the word for it. 

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,585]

4 minutes ago, Bas said:

Also...I would like to get educated about polyamory. Can anypony tell me about her/his poly amorphous relationship(s) and how they work and treat each other?

For me, they're just like regular relationships, just more...well, open. The two key factors, speaking as a poly person myself, are trust and transparency. Be open and honest with you partners. Because they aren't just your lovers, they're your best friends too.

[The Historian 515]

Sounds more like you want to go into a Lowe's to bang the two by fours.

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

On 10/3/2019 at 11:03 PM, The Historian said:

Sounds more like you want to go into a Lowe's to bang the two by fours.

I laughed harder at this than I should have 

[Here No Longer 5,270]

On 10/3/2019 at 10:03 PM, The Historian said:

Sounds more like you want to go into a Lowe's to bang the two by fours.

Hey that's some fine-@$$ wood you know

 

Though I prefer more fleshy hardwood...

Edited October 7, 2019 by Spider Demon

[Will Guide 21,325]

The hard wood I like is just below...my window outside. It's been growing for years.

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

23 minutes ago, Bas said:

I told my mum on Friday I might be pansexual and she either didn't care or realize what I was saying, like not reacting at all.

Well be glad she didn’t disown you or some shit. I never plan on telling my parents I’m bi, not because I’m afraid they’ll disown me but I highly doubt they’ll support it. I know how you feel. 

[Here No Longer 5,270]

30 minutes ago, Bas said:

I told my mum on Friday I might be pansexual and she either didn't care or realize what I was saying, like not reacting at all.

That's my dad when he was told I was gay. And ever since he's been avoiding the subject as much as humanly possible... At least my grandma (his mom) is more accepting of it, and one of the few IRL friends I have also is a little bi so at least I have something.

Edited October 7, 2019 by Spider Demon

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,585]

I actually came out as bi to my grandmother on my dad's side, and she was really supportive. She also told me that my dad knew I was bi (I honestly was wanting to reconcile with him before his suicide, and me coming out to him would've bee an important first step) and that actually really surprised me.

in spite of all the shit he put me through, it's good to know my dad knew me better than I knew myself.

[Here No Longer 5,270]

Just now, Renegade the Zombiecorn said:

It's good to know my dad knew me better than I knew myself.

My brother probably knew even before I did too...  I only brought it up once with him to deny it (I was bi back then). Though I guess I'll find that out when I have to come out to him, probably the next time I see him you know with the boyfriend situation and everything.

 

Makes me wonder, did my mother know somehow? She died only a few months after I realized I wasn't straight. I don't think she probably did... I always wonder how exactly she would have reacted to my coming out of the closet.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,585]

1 minute ago, Spider Demon said:

My brother probably knew even before I did too...  I only brought it up once with him to deny it (I was bi back then). Though I guess I'll find that out when I have to come out to him, probably the next time I see him you know with the boyfriend situation and everything.

 

Makes me wonder, did my mother know somehow? She died only a few months after I realized I wasn't straight. I don't think she probably did... I always wonder how exactly she would have reacted to my coming out of the closet.

Well, I know this: my dad certainly accepted me, from what my grandma said. That made me tear up inside, knowing in spite of his problems with drinking and bipolar disorder, he still loved me no matter what.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,585]

Now, as for me being polyamorous...yeah, definitely staying in the closet on that one.

[Here No Longer 5,270]

2 hours ago, Renegade the Zombiecorn said:

Now, as for me being polyamorous...yeah, definitely staying in the closet on that one.

Same here with my gender ID.  I'm used to being called a "he" anyways and in the state I'm in right now I look a bit more masculine than I'd like also, so it's not that much of a big deal. As for the polyamory, I don't think that will be an issue either (I am kind of poly... Though only really to a certain extent). considering that I sort of have to suppress that part of me as is. Still not a big deal, in fact much less of one than my gender is.

Edited October 7, 2019 by Spider Demon

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

1 hour ago, Renegade the Zombiecorn said:

Now, as for me being polyamorous...yeah, definitely staying in the closet on that one.

You know what...same. Yes I admitted it. I am poly...to an extent. 

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

3 minutes ago, Bas said:

Do you people distinguish between open relationship and polyamory?

One thing about poly is...well, older people like parents are so used to the 2-person-relationship and it possibly leading up to a marriage, that this might shake their very beliefs. It goes so much against what they are used to, I guess, and if they approve someone else of this - They might would need to start questioning themselves about the last 3 decades they lived. and whether they could have done differently.

To me, it is kind of a lie to yourself to say you are only able to love one person at a time and that you have to decide for one to live with.

There are some people claiming relationships with more than 2 ppl simply won't work because of how we socialize. But honestly? I am pretty sure these ppl didn't try.

I agree. Personally, I believe it isn't a crime to love more than one person in a romantic sense. 

Would I actually openly date more than person at the same time? I might consider it only if my partner approved, otherwise no. I respect their beliefs. 

[Ittoni 536]

19 minutes ago, Lucky Bat said:

I agree. Personally, I believe it isn't a crime to love more than one person in a romantic sense. 

Would I actually openly date more than person at the same time? I might consider it only if my partner approved, otherwise no. I respect their beliefs. 

isn't it like... harder though? the majority can barely put up with one person at a time. nothing against it, i just can't imagine.

[Will Guide 21,325]

22 minutes ago, Lucky Bat said:

I agree. Personally, I believe it isn't a crime to love more than one person in a romantic sense. 

Would I actually openly date more than person at the same time? I might consider it only if my partner approved, otherwise no. I respect their beliefs. 

While I'm not dating anyone in real life, I am in polyamory relationship of sorts between my OC Will Guide and several other members' OC, like Maple Bat's Woodland Orchestra, Emperor Azurailo's Personal OC (Married as Royal Consorts), and even Loyal Defender.

It really isn't a crime to date more than one if all involved are ok with it

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,585]

1 hour ago, Bas said:

Edited above.

Eh, that's possible? I mean....I can only guess it is hard to hide once you are in such a relationship(s). People don't recognize more is going on between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend?

I can only imagine it this kind of way...

Ahhh, 90s censor logic - 

"LESBIANS?! THINK OF THE CHILDREN! "

*keeps in all the subtext, implying something way worse*

33 minutes ago, Lucky Bat said:

I agree. Personally, I believe it isn't a crime to love more than one person in a romantic sense. 

Would I actually openly date more than person at the same time? I might consider it only if my partner approved, otherwise no. I respect their beliefs. 

Same. I'll only extend a relationship to multiple people if they're OK with it and we lay mutual ground rules for us all.

[SparklingSwirls 21,261]

I have nothing against polyamorous people, but I have trouble wrapping my head around it. I feel like it would be easier for someone to get jealous (yes I read the link, but for most people, there’s only so much “openness and curiosity” they can handle before they start to feel left out). And... how can you know that you’re treating each of your partners equally? There’s only so much time in a day.

People are certainly able to make it work, but as someone who views relationships through the lense of “committing to one special person” it kind of takes some of the “specialness” out of the relationship (I don’t think I can explain this properly...)

[The Historian 515]

On 10/7/2019 at 9:51 AM, Lucky Bat said:

Well be glad she didn’t disown you or some shit. I never plan on telling my parents I’m bi, not because I’m afraid they’ll disown me but I highly doubt they’ll support it. I know how you feel. 

I told my parents and that was easier for them to digest than me being transgender. If they have any empathy for you as a person, they'll be supportive. If they're not... well... they're bad people.