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This is an upgrade and modified to this topic:

https://mlpforums.com/topic/177014-critique-and-help-on-my-oc/

Ace Blues
She's like that guy from high-school, never talk, always with earbuds on, A Jack of all trade. Except, she's trained, a real combat machine.
The Survival Mecano-Doctor with a voice speaker.
Ace is specialized in probabilities and math, by being a fighter, calculating probabilities and "reading" his opponent are her best skills in combat.

image.thumb.png.042624faa1ddd5e94ab1fe50bbfa00cd.png

Her combat gear:

Spoiler

image.thumb.png.7150bb73a931becff252cbb60f18d24f.png

Traits:

Spoiler

Ace is kinda freaky, always alone, but like to be alone, A true survivor, she learned Mechanics and Medicines skills for herself, but extend it for helping others.

She's almost the Hitpony/Guard that everyone want to hire for her use of magic on her movement to dodge and attack enemies.

-She's not very social, even asking a question on something is a challenge for her. She can't lie, and that's more a problem, she'll tell you immediately if you're a a**hole. While she can control it sometimes, you can see if she's lying.

-She never warned if something is going to happen because she forgot, or she can do it alone (Spoiler, she can't)

-She will freak out for a couple of seconds when situation don't goes as intended until she calculate probabilities.

 

Backstory:

Spoiler

She's born near Vanhoover, in a french family. Good in math and English, her father want to test her math skill in a math event, but finish 6th. He was not disappointed and bring her to a casino, and she get almost every bet and that's how she got her cutie mark describing her skill in probabilities.

She was kinda sad about it (all the "I really must stay in that specific job?" crisis), but she got an idea, pushing her talents to the limits and goes to the army at 13 years old. In 4 years, they saw her potential and let her in the real military, then the royal guard as a soldier, then put on a special force with 4 other young talented ponies, called the Talented 5. While she work and trained with them, she received weird letters from a gang, the "MoneyCheck" gang. But she ignore it.

A letter, however, intrigues Blues, telling her the next mission is a trap, by an another gang to stop the Talented 5, in the mission, she saw some explosives and discover one of the Talented 5 is a traitor by listening to a conversation with "The Organization", she ran away before the trap is activated , abandoning her allies, but, she has been caught and threw at a cliff nearby while the building exploded and presumed dead.

But, she survived, without a voice anymore due to the fall, heal herself and quickly go to her house, at Vanhoover, after 2 days of traveling using trains and walking long distances, she found out her parents house has been burned down, no trace of her parents, though. So, she promise to take down The Organization, and by that, she accepted to be in the MoneyCheck gang and wait 2 years in the nature to train ever more and keeping low profile. If she return to the royal army, "The Organization" will know she's not dead (she presume there's more than one traitor).

2 years later, She moved to Manehattan to take down the smaller gangs in the city by herself, then with the help of the MC, she build her trusty voice speaker.

Blues moved to Ponyville to not get attacked by the other gangs and that's how she got here. her goals is to see if her parents are really dead, or kidnapped, and to destroy every gang.
______________________________
The MoneyCheck (MC) gang is a gang set to destroy other gangs and get rich. The master is called "Ceveau (QeVo)" and rumors says he was an old military commander. All of the members are unknown, even by themselves, they're always wear masks, so, if one of them is caught, he can't speak about the other members.

 

Magic:

Spoiler

While she can't teleport or materialize object by magic, she use "waves" of magic to push and pull object, ponies or even herself.

She can slide on the ground, bunny hop and strafe in the air by using her magic. She push herself on the ground while sliding to slide even faster.


Combat:

Spoiler

Ace attack physically and use her magic to protect others, sliding (similar to sliding/trimping in any Source game), heal and other moves to escape.

If you fight her, be aware there's 3 "perks" : Dodge only, Effects and tank medic. She can change perks fast, but she'll use a lot of magic to do so, change your playstyle quicker than she does.

Dodge : She'll move and react faster but use magic ONLY to move quickly. Don't engage a close combat. Use electricity to defeat her. She can target and take care of multiple ennemies but not at once, don't stay together in one spot.

Effects : She can create smokes, flashes, explosions (usually to stun) and flames (all are similar to grenades) to attack you from anywhere and escape without any risk. She's still dodging attacks but less than the dodge perk. Use magic abilities, explosions or be in a group to counter her, she can't attack multiple target in this perk.

Tank Medic: her attacks are weak, yet, she's here to defend and heal every teammates all around and boost morals (attack, speed and defense increased for everyone, herself included). Every attacks deal the same damage to her, use weak but fast attacks to take her down faster. taking her down will make you a target, but will have a negative moral on her allies.


Other infos:

Spoiler

Voice Speaker: She's using voice clips from documentaries and can edit and cut out the clips immediately.

 

 

Feel free to critique and show me what I can improve!

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What I could say at the first place, is that her surface should not glow like that (I mean if you can, maybe you could decrease the specular level to 0).

Her magic is interesting, she has many talents and they are compensated by her "limited" magical powers.

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1 hour ago, Rixton said:

What I could say at the first place, is that her surface should not glow like that (I mean if you can, maybe you could decrease the specular level to 0).

I used Source Film Maker, I don't which option do what exactly,and I don't know if I come back to make more poses or artworks. If I do, I'll change the pose and the lighting.

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Just now, A French Derpy full of Salt said:

I used Source Film Maker, I don't which option do what exactly,and I don't know if I come back to make more poses or artworks. If I do, I'll change the pose and the lighting.

These settings are inside the material files steam/steamapps/Source filmmaker/game/materials/models/[name of your oc]/body.vta or .vtf, the smaller sized file, it can be edited young any text editors.. I made ponies long ago for SFM, so I do not remember what parameter should be changed, but everything is on the net. :adorkable:

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