Write a death metal rant about the poster above you

[Dan. 1,825]

Finished watching Aggretsuko I thought of a fun game to try here.  You have to write a rant about the poster above you in the style of a death metal song. Follow the example.

1.) Only rant about the user above you, if you don't know them..find something to rant about (Their avatar..you could even make something up.)
2.) All caps..bold it if you want for emphasis.
3.) No foul language or deep personal attacks..it's just for fun.
4.) Have fun!

Example:
target: Gobo
FACES, SO MANY FACES! WHY WON'T YOU STICK TO ONE AVATAR ALREADY!? YOU CHANGE YOUR AVATAR MORE THAN I CHANGE MY SOCKS! STOP ALREADY

Edited July 16, 2018 by Baymax

[Lord Valtasar 12,685]

i´m not sure what a death metal rant entails but seeing the example i think i get the gest of it, so i´ll give it a try

You have befouled Baymax´s Innocence,and his soul dipp
in ugly marshes of political backstabbing deep
i course you,for your actions make me scream internaly
you are damned to roam the planes of hell whithout relief,eternaly

Edited July 16, 2018 by Lord Valtasar

[Dan. 1,825]

TRIXIE, TRIXIE YOU AND YOUR TRICKS!

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, YOUR MAGIC

STIIIIIIINKS!

YOU'D BE BETTER AS CLOOOOOWN!

[Fade 77]

BEWARE THE BAY OF MAX!!!

THE ROBOT WILL CLAIM ITS BAG OF ICE!!!

THE COLD NUMERAL AWAITS IN THE DEN OF MICE!!!

Made stuff up.  Based on River by Black Sun Aeon.

[Denim&Venöm 16,454]

I am so sick of bands these days either ripping off Cannibal Corpse and Napalm Death, or parodying Suicide Silence. The production quality blows. All the audio is too compressed and there's no bass. This isn't 1988! There's such a thing as being too polished, to the point where you sound like a damn pop album. Or going too far the other way and sounding like a demo! Trebbly screaming from the bottom of a sewer drain isn't metal! And those lyrics? What kind of brooding, edgelord middle schoolers are we dealing with!? Gothenburg and Stockholm have been getting death metal right for a quarter century now, why can't you!? 

...

I just re-read the OP and realized this thread is about writing death metal style rants, not rants about death metal. One second. *ahem* 

*cue blast beats* 

 

"IT'S TIME! FOR YOU! TO FADE AWAY!

YOUR LEGACY SHALL DISSAPEAR AS YOUR NAME SAKE DEMANDS!

THERE'S NOTHING INCREDIBLE ABOUT YOUR PROFILE PIC!  

DISSAPEAR! LIKE ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF LEAVING0AN IMPRESSION IN THIS THREAD!" 

*cue breakdown* 

[TBD 17,228]

I DONT KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE

BUT TO ME, YOU'RE JUST LIKE A GARDEN GNOME!

TOUGH ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT ONE SMALL SLIP AND

YOU'RE ALL BROKEN UP!

[Dan. 1,825]

SWING OF A BAT!

YOUR HEAD GOES SPLAT!

RUSSIANS IN MIAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIII

DON'T EVEN TRRRRY MEEEEEEEE

YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIIIIIIND MEEEEEE.

[Ziltoid the Omniscient 286]

[INCOHERENT SCREAMS, SHRIEKS AND GROWLS]

[Dan. 1,825]

You're a trash kermit!

Cosplaying without a permit!

So green it's sick!

Go back to the dump with a furry lovin hick!

[Ziltoid the Omniscient 286]

I RATE YOUR CARE A ZERO

YOU COULDNT CURE OUR SCARS

DIE LOST IN THE VOID

AND BURN LIKE YOUR CREATOR

[TBD 17,228]

BANNED FROM THE SESAME STREET CITY 

EVEN THE MUPPET WOULDN'T TAKE YOU IN

WHY DON'T YOU STOP LOOKING SO PITY

YOU AIN'T FOOLIN ANYONE WITH THAT SILLY GRIN!!

 

[Lord Valtasar 12,685]

THIS FAKE PERSONA YOU CREATED TO HIDE YOUR MISERY
I WILL UNMASK AND SHOW THE WORLD YOUR TORMENT
SO THEY CAN LAUGH 'AT' YOU AND NOT 'WITH' YOU,LIKE YOU'RE IN A MENAGERIE 
AND THROW YOU BACK WHERE YOU BELONG IN DESPAIR'S TORRENT
 

Edited July 24, 2018 by Lord Valtasar

[TBD 17,228]

SPARE ME WITH YOUR LIES WITH THAT SAME O' TRICK

YOU THINK YOU'RE THE BEST BUT  ALL YOU'LL

EVER BE IS NOTHIN' BUT AN INVISIBLE CLOAK

GOT NOTHIN' UP THE SLEEVES

SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE!

 

[Dan. 1,825]

YOU'RE AS LYRICAL AS MY DUMPS

YOU'RE NO ELTON! IT'S PYRITE YOU'RE SMELTEN!

TAKE YOUR GRIN AND INTRODUCE IT TO MY SHIN!

[Ziltoid the Omniscient 286]

YOURE A JERK

BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT

YOUR SHOW IS TRASH

BUT YOU ALSO ALREADY KNEW THAT

[TBD 17,228]

YOU AINT WORTH RANTIN' ABOUT,

WHY DON'T YOU CRAWL BACK TO THE SEWAGE

SO THAT I CAN CARRY ON. 

 

 

 

[Ziltoid the Omniscient 286]

EAT SHIT GORILLA BREATH

ACE IN THE HOLE

BRAIN SPLATTERED IN 2 DIMENSIONS

FUCK MURDOC AND THE GANG GREEN GANG BITCH

A DEMON DAY IS COMIN FOR YOUR SORRY PLASTIC BEACH ASS