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general How is your mood usually?


Dashy 4 Ever

How is your mood usually?   

44 users have voted

  1. 1. How is your mood usually?

    • Happy
      9
    • Mad
      1
    • Neutral
      16
    • Shy
      0
    • Tired
      9
    • Excited
      0
    • Furious
      1
    • I have no idea
      2
    • Explain:
      6


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Bored most of the time because I don't get many notifications online and I rarely go out, only when I get invited along or need to go to an appointment because I can't drive and don't have my own car.

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  • 5 months later...
  • 2 years later...
  • 7 months later...

Content. That's what I'll go with. Typically my days are spent making sure I get everything done I need to get done and planning for the things I actually want to do when I get the chance.

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Only my iPad bring my mood to the lowest. It finds ways to break my everything with its popups to baby sit my every action. It remember nothing, it learns nothing. :unamused:

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Low because of life issues. Whenever I appear hyper, it is not a natural change in my mood, but the dissociative disorder kicking. So, it is either underground, or over the sky. And you cannot get past that hard ceiling. So, I crash and fall again.

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  • 1 month later...
(edited)

A complete wreck. And sometimes I would feel "better", but those are the times I am not "in touch" with myself anymore.

Which is the reason I try to break past the psychological filters my mind tries to put up in order to block the trauma. Because otherwise I cannot be myself. It is like touching a wound that never healed. And there is a mental collapse when I do, with depression and sucidal ideation hitting like a track. All those memories surfacing from the subconscious where they were buried. "Ah, the truth thas been found at last". The real me, beyond the false personality that is formed around the trauma. Which in my case, is a very erratic personality, because of the psychological, nervous and emotional trauma impairing my sensory and cognitive capacity to fully function. So, I become my sociopathic self, my trauma based personality. A false personality created to cope with the traumatic damage, like a mask that is not yourself. But you wear it anyway, because otherwise it would be too difficult to survive. That is unless you don't give a sh*t about surviving anymore.

And there is no point to hide it. Because it holds me back either way. So, I will feel like my sociopthatic "normal" self, but still experience various degrees of psychological paralysis, depression and erratic mood swings, nonetheless. As well as addictive behaviour. Because even subconsciously, the damage is still there causing stress on my body. Yes, pain, either it be physical, emotional or psychological. That is what feeds the addiction. So, either alcohol, drugs, food, entertainment, sex, etc. Any compulsive and excessive behaviour is an indicative of damage.

Because the human psyche is physical in nature. So, this severe emotional trauma I experienced from childhood because of the abandonment, is actually developing into physical myocarditis, with intense stabbing pains and shortness of breath, to the point it hurts me to breathe past a superficial level. Lots of deaths because of cardiac arrest among men in this family. And these heart pains only happen when I am in contact with my trauma. With my real self. So, it is complicated.

Edited by They call me Loyalty
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My mood today was horrible because of evil neighbors, so I went and throw myself into the lake. It worked. Now I am happy again :wacko:

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