AlicornSpell

Science Do most children have a stronger bond with their mother than they do with their father?

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Even though fathers don't want to admit it, women are usually considered the primary caregiver of children, and are more likely to be closer to them than the father is.

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(edited)

depends pretty much on the individuals as some people just sit better with their mom, dad , both or neither. But if you take the factor of individualism out of the question then i think its pretty obvious that mothers have stronger bond with kids and other way around as they physically gave birth to them making the bond partly physical not just psychological in that sense.

Edited by Yu Ziyuan

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I get along better with my mom personally. I also love my dad but in a different way he taught me how to be the man I am today.  My mom taught me how to care for other people and be generous. I feel that I have a good bond with both my parents but in different ways. 

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Well in my experience, girls need their father the most, and boys need their mother the most, soo...

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56 minutes ago, AlicornSpell said:

Even though fathers don't want to admit it, women are usually considered the primary caregiver of children, and are more likely to be closer to them than the father is.

Yeah, that is completely false. I think it depends on which parent is more capable of handling the child on their own.

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As a child, I was close to both my mother and my father. As I got older, however, I seemed to lean closer to my mother. Nowadays, I tend to steer clear of both of my parents unless I need something from them.

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There are a lot of factors that determine closeness with one parent or another. It depends a lot on the kid-and often on the stage of development they are at. For some they need emotional openness from their parents to feel close to them, for others that approach can feel unstable. Most kids need stability more than anything-the closeness sometimes only develops when the relationship shifts from provider/dependent to independent-others are close to one or another from day 1.

People and their relationships are very individual, and there is no one box they all fit in-it depends on a lot of different issues. To say that girls tend toward their mothers and boys to their fathers is erroneous-each parent provides for a different set of needs. Mom is often the nurturing, comforting figure, Dad is the protector. Our girls will talk to my wife for hours and have connections with her that i don't-but when they're scared they run to me for protection and safety. Both are vitally important, but in different ways.

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From my personal experience I don't have a strong bond with either my mum or my dad although I have a stronger bond with my dad because of the lack of responsibility my mum shown at the end of the day it's based on personal experiences 

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Women have a maternal instinct that children respond to. Fathers are wonderful too but they have a different way of relating to kids. I think younger children respond more to the gentler female approach while older kids learn a lot from their fathers. Both have a pivotal role to play, but I think the early years of child development form a stronger bond with the mother. But having a stronger bond doesn't necessarily equate to having a greater affection for one parent over the other. Kids are very generous with their love and they tend to love both parents equally regardless of which one they connect more strongly with in other ways. 

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My mother and I have never had a good relationship. She inflicted permanent psychological damage on me, she's bipolar and grew up with strict parents. We fought constantly, and it was unpleasant. I feel more on edge and uncomfortable around her, and I have a better relationship with my dad.

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(edited)

My father is very different from my mom

Especially about their active time, my mom is a diurnal and my father is somewhat nocturnal.

And my mom usually stays at home most of the time, but my father is always on another place lately.

So, because of I'm a diurnal and always stays at home, you might probably already know the answer.

Edited by Kevin Tang

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(edited)

I think it depends on how you are treated individually by each parent. Personally I get really tired of people saying mothers are the most important. No, they are just a part of it. Fathers are just as critical. In fact, the 'mother', 'father' thing is proven to be false regardless, as there are plenty of gay couples who have children who grow up to be perfectly well rounded, and in most cases, more accepting and kind. So I don't really think the whole mother/father dynamic holds water like people used to think it did.


Now, in my personal experience, I didn't know my mother very well, and we don't quite get along. But me and my dad, heck yeah, good buds! In fact, I recently spent about four hours talking on the phone with him the other night. We never run out of things to talk about and discuss.
My husband, only grew up with his father, a single parent. And he turned out beautifully. Successful, kind, accepting, hard-working, even-tempered and fair minded. He has glorious morals, and I learn from him everyday. So, really... the whole binary parent outlook, is quite outdated. Frankly, it was wrong from the start, people just didn't look into it.

Edited by Earl Grey Ghost

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I don't know, I think it depends on the individual kid, honestly. 

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I think so. Probably has something to do with the whole being one human for a while.

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The following is based on my personal observations. I don't have science to back it up and may very well be talking out my ass. Take it with a grain of salt. 

There's actually a lot of factors at play here. The sex of the child and the age. Little girls tend to look up to their fathers, and little boys to their mothers. However, once they get into teenage years, the script flips as young women look to their mothers, and young men to their fathers, for more detail on how to act. 

There's also the factor of time spent with the child. In a divorce scenario where the mother gets more physical custody than the father, then of course the child will be more attached to the mother. If you flip that around then the child would be more attached to the father. If it's joint physical, then the sex and age factors that I listed above are the most relevant.

Finally, the biggest factor of them all. The child, regardless of age and sex, will generally be the most attached to the parent who isn't a piece of shit. Is daddy a lazy fuck who isn't helping pay the bills? The child would rather go to mom. Is mommy a hoarder who is trying to see if she can mutate intelligent spore life in the fridge? Living with dad seems like a way better option. 

 

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I’d say it’s a different relationship rather than a stronger/weaker one. When he’s still being weaned, yes its a stronger relationship with the mother. After that, if both parents are present, either’s relationship with the child will look different. But to call one stronger is to miss the point I think. You need both.

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