Creative Cursing

[Widdershins 9,955]

 So one thing that has always struck me, is that what most consider as "Bad Words" are really just words that we have until now only labeled as such. Most "Foul Language" is mostly just silly or bringing up terms that have nothing to do with the current situation anyway. And if we're going to do that anyway... we might as well get creative!

 For Example, this fandom is well known for using Buck, Hay and etcetera.

 Me, I like overusing Animal Analogies. Like the famous "Oh, Rats!", "I don't give a rat's tail." (Do rats even have butts? Either way, it's the least appealing of tails... all wormy as it is.), "What the Duck?!" in reference to that old, weird phrase of "Lord Love a Duck." & my all time favorite I'm trying to get used to... using Cod's name in vain.   ...because honestly, if using a name in vain is grounds for getting the mentionee angered enough to vie rightful vengeance upon... who do you think you're better off against? The all-knowing God... or a species of fish?

There's also my ingrained "Countryisms." Nothin' feels better than rattlin' off a "What in TARRRNATION?!" or the even better Thunderation!!!

 Because really, when it comes down to it; if I actually am mad, I am far too focused on my being mad to use much more wordage than just growling, lol!

 

 So! What do you replace your cursing with?

[ManaMinori 4,143]

Rats have butts. If they can deficate, then they have a butt.

[Randimaxis 8,633]

My father put it rather well when I was a child:  "Swearing is the product of an uncreative mind."

And so, I have a tendency to substitute those words with colorful gibberish (i.e. Flibbertyjibbet) or letter-swapping (i.e. FutherMocker).  Plus, there's no feeling quite like angrily telling someone that you'll 'stomp their shoelaces into Tapioca', or threaten them by saying 'don't make me kick your donkey'.

With so much rampant profanity out in the world today, alternative swearing makes you stand out in the foul-mouthed crowd.

[碇 シンジン 27,427]

I use "Are you kidding me" and "冗談じゃないわよ" (Joudan janai wa yo)  most often and casually when talking to myself.

Other than that I tend to avoid the stuff

[Dashy 4 Ever 4,832]

Normally, I'd just curse in Romanian, German, Russian, or French.

It is fun because the others don't know what I'm talking about.

"Ba ispititule, sa nu ma fac sa vin acolo sa te belesc!" (Hey stupid, don't make me come there and skin you)

 

Edited December 19, 2018 by Sondash Studios

[Mirage 24,042]

This topic is flabiscuits! 

[SharpWit 2,472]

The only time I swear automatically is when I hurt myself. I swear plenty each and everyday but it's only when in pain that there's no self control for it. To get by this when around people I don't want to swear in front of, I'll say a swear either in another language or I'll mutter some gibberish in an Italian accent.

[Sunlight Glisten 368]

I use vulgar anatomy parts. Ahh penis, friggin nut sack. Or my most commonly used. Balls. 

[Widdershins 9,955]

@Randimaxis    I was FROZEN Today!!!

 I find memeing at others helps too. If you've got the courage to be that goofy. There's just not much of a response to that. "Uh...I'm sorry about that, Bill. We were... arguing company expenditures, but... you okay?..." 

 You can get alot out with obscure trivia too. Like, a type of racehorse trained in running through muddy & rainy conditions is called a "Mudder." So there's something there to work with as a ... MudderFugger?... haven't fleshed that one out yet, lol!

@Mirage

 That's Pokey Flabiscuits, you Lunkbutter! Used primarily when somebeing isn't catching up to your speed!

  ...it's a Mario Sunshine reference.

    ...Never played the game.

   ...though maybe that kills a bit of the hilarity, knowing context.

 @SharpWit

 "Te donde, Ustedes?!!?"   Roughly translated: "To where, is you?!!?"

 Means nothing, feels good saying it!

 @Sunlight Glisten

 BaaaAAWWULS!!!

 You & you're... Uvula!

 Eh! I've slapped mah Scapula! 

 My Pelvic Splangniganglion! 

[Treeglow Flicker 12,975]

I usually use the word "Smeg" for most of my cursing needs.

[Grunk The Caveman 2]

Only Witchdoctor put curses on tribesman. Grunk think big rock is better way of smashing enemy than curse.

[Lord Midnight Madness 1,542]

I like this creative word for cussing. 

"You had one job you tossers" 

That or bullocks

Edited December 19, 2018 by Lord Midnight Madness

[Cash In 21,488]

I don't curse at all, so I don't really find the need of applying any substitutes.

Edited August 11, 2019 by Cash In

[Denim&Venöm 16,453]

It varies from situation to situation. But my list comprises of:

• Mother fuzz bucket 
• Blangklangin fartsarnit 
• Mother Fluffer 
• Aw piss farmer 
• Douche Pringle 
• Douche Kabible 
• What the frag 
• Ah freckle schnitz 
• Oh for pets saek
• What in the blue hell  
• Ass clown

That is all. 

For now. 

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

MUNDANE PLATYPUS!!!!!

[Octavia Heartstrings 28,397]

What the hashtag money sign exclamation point asterisk just happened!!! 

[Mirage 24,042]

3 hours ago, Widdershins said:

That's Pokey Flabiscuits, you Lunkbutter! Used primarily when somebeing isn't catching up to your speed!

  ...it's a Mario Sunshine reference.

    ...Never played the game.

   ...though maybe that kills a bit of the hilarity, knowing context.

This is not the time for nit picking...

flibbertigibbet!

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

"That buckin' mothertrucker!" ~ © Lucky Bolt April 2019

[Eathlin 37]

I just swear, I am a sailor. The metaphor is literally, "You swear like a sailor." Just upholding cultural norms here, no need to thank me!

[Treeglow Flicker 12,975]

Lately, I've been using the phrase "Ah bum nuggets..."

Useful when you drop something or discover that the cat has missed their litter tray.

[KH7672 1,604]

One word: Dog

It works for everything. "What the dog..." "This is dogging...." "Ah, dog dog-it" 

It's a quick, and easy alternative.

[Cyclone 1066 3,616]

Love you

Love this town

I'm sick and lovin tired of all your lovin around

Only one 4 letter word that'll do

(From a country song)

Edited April 16, 2019 by Cyclone

[Widdershins 9,955]

Very likely the best thing I've heard of, from a Garfield comic strip that will live in my head for eternity....
 

 "Weeeell, STOMP on FROGS and shove a CROWBAR up my nose!"

 

 Oh, and you really can't go wrong with a good Clod. Like Danny Avidan has said before, there's something a lot more personal and hard-hitting when you provoke an old nugget of a colloquialism like that back out! It's good when you can get out, instead of actual offended-ness, something more along the lines of "Where did you pick that up from? How... how OLD are you?!"

 "Why you Uncouth rrrrrrRaggamuffin!"

[TBD 17,228]

I don't filter my curse words at all, but if I'm around family members I'd try to say "puck" or "mitch". But that hardly comes out the way I hoped since it always comes out unfiltered anyways no matter how hard I try.

[DubWolf 16,573]

While I have substitutes, when I do have to curse, it’s all or nothing. Otherwise.... I guess I’ll just say ship or fugg (audibly both are misinterpreted...).