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Your favorite pony is blackmailing you. What do you do?


KillerKingBakudan

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Your favorite pony gets her hooves on an ancient artifact. It works a lot like Sunset Shimmer's geode in that it gives her the power to read all the thoughts and memories of anyone she touches. 

One day, she grabs your arm and sees some of your worst kept secrets. They could be criminal acts, or they could be actions that are just embarrassing to the point if anyone knew about them, your life would be ruined. And she's even gathered evidence to prove what she saw.

The following week, you receive a letter from this pony. She is now demanding half of your earnings each year for the rest of her life. And just to make sure you comply, she adds a few warnings:

If you fail to pay up on the specified day of each year, she'll expose you to the press. 
If you tell the authorities about this, directly or through a third party, she'll go to the press. 
If you quit your job or find a better source of income, and she finds out you're cheating her, she'll go to the press.
If you leave town, she'll go to the press, AND get the royal guard to pursue you on additional charges (which may or may not be true).

What do you do?

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*sniff* Why are you doing this to me? :(

We were each other's first love. I really thought... *sniff* thought we could work it out... I thought you really loved me. You were the reason I am alive today. I guess you forgot about all the good times...

The only reason I won't let go of what's making me sad, is because you are the only thing that makes me happy. You, Twilight.

If you need me, call me. I don't care if I'm sleeping, If I'm having my own problems or if I'm angry at you. If you need me and you need to talk about it... I'll always be there for you. I just want to sort this out. 

I may have lost somepony who didn't love me, but you are going lose somepony who truly loved you.

Sometimes, I don't know what haunts me more. The memories of you... Or the happy pony I used to be.

  • Brohoof 2
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I can't imagine Twilight doing this to me, but I would have only one recourse. I would hire Rarity. Her skills as a detective would let her delve into this, get the geode, and possibly get something on Twilight we could turn over to Princess Celestia.

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I've been in this situation before, so I say bring it on, maybe I'll play along and take her out before she's able to carry out her threats, if I'm unaware of her identity I'll play along until I discover her identity.

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  • 1 year later...

I don't have secrets bad enough that going to the press would make a good story, so be my guest and try to ruin me. Even my most embarrassing moments really wouldn't do more than elicit some chuckles at best, it's hardly going to ruin my life. If I did have secrets that I have to keep no matter what, then this pony would sadly disappear without a trace.

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  • 2 months later...

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