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Will you be single forever or do you think there is somepony out there who is wating for you?


AfiqPony

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im only 23 and have been in two long-term relationships totalling 8 years. im done with that for now and id like to be single for a while xD

 

the reality is that there are going to be a few people out there for you, unless you are a menace to society and theres no such thing as "the one" its just a matter of meeting someone in the right place at the right time. and even if things dont work out, best you can do is learn from that experience and grow as a person :3

 

also i disagree w/ the people telling you youre too young to have a relationship. you may be immature for one and need some growing up to do, but how are you ever going to learn if you dont get the experience... just because of that doesnt mean you shouldnt be *allowed* to not be in a relationship. you may not be ready, but plenty of people get into a relationship before theyre ready - most of the time its a mistake, but the important thing is you LEARN from it

the only advice i can give you OP is that, you have to be patient, and if you want a real relationship stay away from dating apps like tinder where you wont usually find good people (you can, its rare). dont force things. dont be desperate. never SEEK out a relationship, focus on working on yourself first and becoming the best version of yourself you can be, and love will COME to you. dont throw yourself at anyone bc thats super unattractive, trust me.

in the meantime while you work on yourself, if you consider yourself to be socially awkward then i *HIGHLY* recommend using resources to better converse with your peers - seriously, these are going to help you *immensely*. read/watch youtube videos on body language, how to talk, etc., basically do everything you can to be more self-aware. and i know its hard, but no girl (or guy if youre into that) likes someone who is desperate, so working on your confidence is a must.

 

go into all of this with an open mind & heart. stop watching romance movies because real life is not like that, and all theyre going to do is hinder your ability to grow in a real-life relationship and hold meaningful bonds with a potential partner. 

 

if you want to talk more and want some resources for body language, how to talk & self awareness feel free to privately message me. i understand how youre feleing, though i havent felt that loneliness in a long time (like i said, ive only been in 2 relationships but they were both long) and i know its hard to cope with sometimes. but the best relationship you can form is with yourself. never rely on another person for your emotional dependency. anyways, just let me know if you want those links. take care!

 

 

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  • 2 years later...

Probably. And it is unfortunate, because a part of me wants to find a nice girl and have a normal family, because that is life. But I have problems. And those problems will be passed onto my kids. Also, there is no guarantee I will be a good father either. Just like my father who left us. I actually have no idea of how a normal family is like. Not that I wouldn't do the same as he did, by the way. After all, raising a family takes responsibility, maturity and work. None of which I could see myself being good at. Because I am a little bit of a freak to begin with.

Also, I have the feeling I may not have much time left. But who knows, really.

Edited by They call me Loyalty
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I think so, just have to be very careful about determining who this special somepony is lol,

I am a very diehard romantic, I get utterly consumed with one person, I hyper fixate on people, and I am a big time person for "true love". I really want the next person I date to be the last person, my heart doesn't want to go through the pain of losing someone I love but it really desires to love someone I can never lose...

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I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. I'm now nearing my mid 30s and have so little experience. I got my heart broke in the summer - I've only actually really liked two people in my life and there went the second one. I don't really know that kind of once in a blue moon kind of person could come around again for me.

But... I'm in a transitional stage of my life, where I'm planning on moving a long way away from where I currently live. Meeting someone here would make things overtly complicated. It's a bit too late for that to happen now, I'd say, because my heart is set on moving.

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Oh there's always someone waiting for me. Often times I'm just not interested.. there's one now actually.

To directly answer your question, that hypothetical someone didn't want to wait for me so they stuck with another guy. I look away when I see them together..

 

I wish I could be principled enough to only seek out people that didn't betray me so I don't just feel like first place, second.

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imagine limiting yourself to just one person out there

 

10 minutes ago, Woohoo said:

I've accepted the fact that I'm going to be single forever.

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Plus, my asexuality will probably further complicate things... :maud:

 

aside: being ace isn't exclusive of being in relationships, speaking from experience

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Moments ago, Minterwute said:

imagine limiting yourself to just one person out there

  

aside: being ace isn't exclusive of being in relationships, speaking from experience

No other way to live.

That's honestly my only requirement in a relationship is monogamy...

I mean if you haven't found someone that interests you enough that they alone can't hold your affections, your trust, your heart, your genuine intrigue, someone that just genuinely gets you and makes you feel something no other can, than you haven't found the right person ...

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On 2022-11-23 at 9:32 AM, Woohoo said:

I've accepted the fact that I'm going to be single forever.

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Plus, my asexuality will probably further complicate things... :maud:

 

Its all in the mind my friend... When i finally lost it and started not to care i finally found mine. When you start to give zero F. And just say to yourself.

" Hey you know what? Lets give it a go... What would go wrong? Im 30 in old im fucked either way... Lets see where this goes im bored anyway" 

Then boom! You regret what you did and you still have some F...:)

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Dunno. I am not exactly looking for someone either because I am not really interested in a relationship. If I were interested I'd probably be dating someone already. 

Though who knows, I am not a psychic and can't predict the future. 

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It would be nice to be with someone who will be there with me when I need them and who’s willing to through all my troubles but knowing how I am, don’t think that will ever going to happen. So maybe I would be single for quite a long time. I don’t mind it really- since I think partly I do have these random moments when I feel lonely and just need someone to be with and It doesn’t need to be romantic or anything like that.

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Yes. And that is because of a genetic defect called hypogonadism. It is an hormonal disorder in the production of testosterone, that impaired my normal development into adulthood. Hence the anorexic frame, weak muscle structure, underdeveloped secondary sexual traits and "neuro-divergent" behaviour since childhood.

This is the real cause behind the bipolar disorder, autism and ADHD. And also the actual reason for me being single. You start to separate yourself from other people. It is a thing with my family, who also have hypogonadism and klinefelter syndrome respectively. With anti-social behaviour, low self-esteem, self-abandonment, dissociation, paronoia, delusion, regression, depression, passivity, chronic anxiety, fatigue, etc. So, we live in isolation.

But make no mistake. With a working endocrine system. I would be a normal man. Fighting it out like this guy who recently broke the skull of this other dude against a railing in a NHL game, most likely causing intracranial haemorrhage and permant brain damage. But I am not.

So, I don't want anything to do with people, beyond the basic level of social interaction. And maybe I learned it from my mother, because self-hatred is a massive factor in this family. But I cannot expose myself to this kind of violence.

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I'm not interested in finding love at this point. No idea why.

On 2022-12-01 at 11:45 PM, They call me Loyalty said:

Yes. And that is because of a genetic defect called hypogonadism. It is an hormonal disorder in the production of testosterone, that impaired my normal development into adulthood. Hence the anorexic frame, weak muscle structure, underdeveloped secondary sexual traits and "neuro-divergent" behaviour since childhood.

This is the real cause behind the bipolar disorder, autism and ADHD. And also the actual reason for me being single. You start to separate yourself from other people. It is a thing with my family, who also have hypogonadism and klinefelter syndrome respectively. With anti-social behaviour, low self-esteem, self-abandonment, dissociation, paronoia, delusion, regression, depression, passivity, chronic anxiety, fatigue, etc. So, we live in isolation.

But make no mistake. With a working endocrine system. I would be a normal man. Fighting it out like this guy who recently broke the skull of this other dude against a railing in a NHL game, most likely causing intracranial haemorrhage and permant brain damage. But I am not.

So, I don't want anything to do with people, beyond the basic level of social interaction. And maybe I learned it from my mother, because self-hatred is a massive factor in this family. But I cannot expose myself to this kind of violence.

I don't think that is the reason bipolar disorder, autism and ADHD exist. I'm ADHD and PDD NOS with normal Test levels

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I had plans, and then people broke my heart. Most shared my interests, but fell through because of the lies or the space between us grew apart and people will always feel like they are in the right and treat you like a villain if they cannot cope with that. But I enjoy it, just seeing them devolve into their true nature and slowly spit every single insult as if they actually cared for more than a single minute.

I've had too many chances to love, but the pain and hate in the grudges I hold will last because I have to be smarter than immediately giving them all my attention. People will hurt you emotionally no matter what, but you have to power through that. Wholesome or not, we are what we make ourselves. I choose not to be vulnerable and hurt yet again on that deep of a level. If that means I will be single for the rest of my life, then so be it. But I will survive without being stabbed in the back by the person I empty all my secrets and anxieties to.

Breaking free from those fears and having someone who loves you for who you are underneath all the baggage and the perks you come with is empowering. Love can make a interesting story, but it can ruin lives as well. It is a risk, a healer, and an abuser. It's not for everyone but enjoy it in the moment if you find yourself in such a powerful emotion. Such a feeling shouldn't be expected at all in life. Don't limit yourself on a timescale, it only makes you feel worse about yourself. From what I know confidence, compassion, communication, and self-control are key in order to make it bloom and not every single person has that in them by the time they are an adult. It's an opportunity, but there will be more.

TL;DR: Love heals, but it hurts as well. It makes us who we are, but it can tumble us back down to shambles. Be careful with it, because it's an experience people share and no two people experience the same thing the same way. 

Edited by CinnamonPop
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