Why do people look down on people who still live with their parents?

[heavens-champion 1,893]

Have you wondered why people who still live with their parents get so much flack?

[DubWolf 16,574]

Haha I still do. Although I usually look much younger than I really am to people so if comes out, they probably don’t think it’s weird for a 20-year old to be with their parents (because college).... although even in college I understand. I’m here because it’s cheap and can’t be spending too much at the moment  (expenses  ). I could leave now but I’d be stuck forever doing a 40-hour, low wage job.

Edited March 25, 2019 by WWolf

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

I guess because they're seen as dependent bums or something, I don't know.  That just seems like the stereotype, anyways. 

Edited March 25, 2019 by Lucky Bolt

[Treeglow Flicker 12,975]

I lived with my parents until their death.

They always made it clear that it was always my home and that it would always be a roof over my head for myself and my other siblings regardless of circumstances. My time living with them was spent studying and working on my own little projects so that I could march towards self employment. I would also do my part around the house. If my father was working on DIY, I would be on hand to assist. If my mother wanted me to help with some cleaning while she could make time for other things. I did. I was also there when they were inflicted with cancer and I helped care for them until their deaths.

It wasn't a choice to live with them, but I loved living with them. I did want my own place and would have gotten my own place. What stopped me? A pair of little twin things called reality and circumstance. The thing I faced was unemployment and the unavailability of SUSTAINABLE employment over the years. Over here in the UK, even to this day,  people are moving in with their relatives more and more. People have been forced to sleep out in tents (if they're lucky to have one) in some areas of the country. Some of those people in those tents are attacked by social filth who clearly have no concept on what it's like to go face to face with the crueler side of reality.

I've got no time for those who look down on those living with parents and family. It's an honor to have good family who care. If I ever end up with children? My home will always be there home, for them and for whatever family they make for themselves. Look down on them and you answer to me and the family.

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Because society seems to have this stereotypical view of “you’re supposed to be independent and able to fend for yourself at 18 years old” which in turn translates to “if you’re living with your parents in your mid-20s, you’re an underachieving freeloader.” 

The problem I see with this viewpoint is that there are a LOT of people out there in their 20s and 30s still going to college AS WELL as working one or two or even three jobs. Renting apartments these days is expensive as hell to the point where you have to work four jobs just to stay there if you don’t have a college degree. 

Yet, for some odd reason, people seem to assume that other people in their mid-20s are already done with college and have a job on their own, not realizing how much more expensive college education has become over the years. Not only that, but even if people do get a college degree, there’s only so many jobs available around the country, so, even after college people might still live with their parents until they can find a job and make a decent living for themselves. 

These kind of people seem to have an assumption that getting a college education as well as a job is just as easy for us as it was for them, not realizing how little there is left available for the new generation. They seem to assume “oh, you have a college degree, so they HAVE to hire you” even though most jobs, for some reason, require some degree of work experience over a college degree. 

[TBD 17,228]

It’s depends on the cultures and where you live. I believe America pretty much viewed adults living with their parent negatively because they’re so big in independence. Other countries mainly in the Asia do not. Just as long their kids aren’t Neets.

I’m 28 and still living with parents because I want to help make a living for them. Which is saving up to get all of us a better house. I don’t see the point of going off on my own and paying my own rant for a shitting apartment (which’s  still too expensive) when I can just save up with my family.

[Olly 1,008]

Baby boomers and older people may have been able to make enough money and build up savings in an environment where the cost of living was less exorbitant. Therefore, they expect young people to be able to do the same thing they were able to do at their age, ignoring the changing conditions. So when they don't, they're deemed lazy bums

[The Historian 515]

There are a variety of factors why I still live with my parents. Not the least of which is that I'm moderately, to severely, mentally ill!

[OdellaLark 185]

A majority of the representation on tv and such of those who still with their parents are that they’re worthless lazy losers who mooch off their parents money and tend to refuse to get a job or go to college or whatever is probably a part of it. 

Edited March 25, 2019 by OdellaLark

[Vanilla Cloud 51]

I'm not sure. My mam would never kick me out... I have learning disabilities and I'm not capable to live on my own.  I dont get much money but I still pay board and bills.

[Will Guide 21,325]

Let's be real. It's getting expensive to find your own place to move on once you reach adulthood here in America, nowadays. It may have been the norm in America a generation or 2 ago, but the way people live and how society views the world changes throughout time, for better or worse.

As for me, my parents would never kicked me out. As long as I help do my part of keeping house since everyone else is busy with a full-time job to clean house. Besides, they're in a way training me to work in a more demanding environment once I some day get a full time job to support myself..and someday, they won't be around forever, so they want to make me more self-reliant and able to handle certain responsibilities. I may not always act like I appreciate their help but I do know they're doing what's best for me. Heck, they support and love me despite being gay.

(I might come back a little later with an old post of mine from 2016 to better support my view of "why are people living with their parents" so please be patient)

[Anneal 2,194]

1 hour ago, Will Guide said:

Let's be real. It's getting expensive to find your own place to move on once you reach adulthood here in America, nowadays. It may have been the norm in America a generation or 2 ago, but the way people live and how society views the world changes throughout time, for better or worse.

A lot of that has to do with land use and urban sprawl. A few generations ago, right after the post-WW2 era, cheap houses were being built en masse in suburban developments, and they were frequently low density and huge houses located in far flung cul-de-sacs. That kind of development may have been cheap at first, but many American cities have now been sprawling at such an alarming rate due to this kind of land use being promoted and encouraged for the last 60 years or so that it's becoming increasingly less and less sustainable. Now in cities like Los Angeles or Atlanta, you may have to drive an average of 50 minutes to work (and back from it) every day. This kind of suburban development has also hindered public transportation from properly spreading out and is forcing more and more Americans to buy cars and literally depend on it for their livelihoods. 

Now a ton of people are realizing that they don't want to be stuck in traffic at least two hours every day and want to actually move back to the city, which has triggered a ton of redevelopment projects in the cities. However, since there is an overwhelmingly amount of demand and not enough supply, along with the lack of housing regulation, this is inadvertently causing gentrification and rents in the cities to skyrocket, as well as causing poorer residents to be evicted from their homes when they can't pay up. This is most apparent in cities like San Francisco, where the average apartment or home is always in the seven digits. Now the millennial generation has to pick between living in the expensive city or living 100 miles away from it and spending three or four hours every day driving to and from work. 

Unless more and more American cities try to encourage better public transit, better land use (less 3000 sq ft single-family homes and more multi-story mixed-use buildings, or at least smaller homes), and better housing regulation, houses are only going to become less and less affordable in the foreseeable future. This isn't really a problem that's restricted to the United States, though – in other cities around the world, rents are rising and it's becoming harder for many people to afford living on their own. 

[Dashy 4 Ever 4,832]

Because those losers that judge them pay over 1000$ a month on rent, bills, etc. with a "roommate" instead of staying in their parents houses a few more years to save some money.

[ManaMinori 4,143]

11 hours ago, heavens-champion said:

Have you wondered why people who still live with their parents get so much flack?

because society has conditioned us to think that once you're 18, the norm is to move out and be independent from your parents or family.

unfortunately, with rising housing costs and it being tougher to land a place of your own nowadays, that just isn't realistic, anymore.

[Twiggy 2,965]

A number of reasons already noted in this thread. Though I will add that it seems to be some weird Anglo thing specifically. As far as I know, in most countries outside the Anglosphere it's not something that's looked down upon. In fact, in poorer countries, it's actually considered fucky to move out as it can place a burden on the rest of your family. There is nothing wrong with a multi-generational household so long as you or another family member isn't a NEET, or at the very least pulling their weight around the house if some sort of disability keeps them from work.

Flip the script on them. I had my parents move in with me because the house is big enough, helps with bills, they can enjoy retirement together with lower living expenses, and because I try to be a good son. These factors are the same regardless of who holds the deed, yet only one is looked down upon. Ask them why that is? Enjoy the look of confusion and pain in their eyes as they struggle with their cognitive dissonance.

Edited March 26, 2019 by Twiggy

[Guest]

I live with my mother-in-law and pay rent to rent out the bottom of the house as our living space. Poor economy makes these kinds of things a "necessity".

[Misty Shadow 7,065]

Because people need to be independent and responsible for their own lives at some point. Yes, it all depends on your circumstances, like many things that are not black-and-white. Living costs are a bitch now, I agree, however, there's no excuse to ever stop trying to be an independent. My place is pretty expensive, $1,000 a month, but I still pay my due with a roommate working a minimum wage job. That's not even counting the time it took me to find a job and get reliable transportation, but I was able to get into a relatively secure position with some perseverance and hard work. 

[Will Guide 21,325]

There's a Trope for these kinds of stereotypical people that is becoming discredited in modern times: Basement Dweller. Which when referring to TV characters are "A comical loser who lives with his parents"

Quote

This trope has become much less stigmatizing in Real Life, however, as problems and deficits in the economy have been sending more and more adults back to their parents' homes. And if this article is any indication, this trope could even become discredited at some point in the future.

Note that living with one's parents is a stigma mainly in the USA and other Anglosphere countries, where working-age adults are expected to live on their own, so this trope shouldn't be applied to characters from cultures where this is the norm.

Also, I find the post I made regarding S6: Flutter Brutter citing a source about why young people are living with their parents.

Almost 3 years ago, I originally posted:

Quote

That last line about not being able to find a place is actually true here in America.

 

"For the first time in modern history, more 18-to-34-year-olds live with their parents than in any other living arrangement, according to a Pew Research Center report released Tuesday" (Bahrampour).
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/young-people-more-likely-to-live-with-parents-now-than-any-time-in-modern-history/2016/05/24/9ad6f564-2117-11e6-9e7f-57890b612299_story.html

Make of that what you will

[Flutterstep 46,194]

Because they’re jealous of those who don’t have to burn away so much money on an empty property. 

[RDDash 18,848]

Because people think they are lazy or something and don't contribute nothing to society, or perhaps those people are just jealous that they didn't think of that themselves.

[Fluttershutter 2,114]

Far better than running off on your eighteenth birthday with almost no income and getting into massive debt for life.

I lived with my parents for what felt like forever but finally bought a house for cash and currently have some savings and zero credit card debt. How many people can say that?

[MangoFoalix 24,898]

Why? Because they are fortunate to not be screwed over by the society the boomers left in shambles.

Most people who aren't just completely lazy live with their parents because they literally have no where else to go.

[They call me Loyalty 1,941]

The universe can't be divided despite the quantification of its apparent physicality. But with polarity it can be made to react in a similar manner. Love, hate, friendship, animosity, joy, sadness, heat, cold. Does it really matter? It's an illusion or projection. Dense in appearance and vibration.

Any reaction produces a counteraction because of polarity. So the subject of interest isn't just the one who judges, but also the one being judged. Since one couldn't exist without the other. So, war, suffering, prejudice can produce a counteractive reaction. The "good" kind.

Take conflict away and your society will collapse, stagnate, die. So, let's hear a cheer for all the ones who took upon the role of negative polarizers within this reality. But not too much love, or we could risk turning them "nice" And it can't be all nice. No, no, no.

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

I think it’s more the people who live with their parents and do not work or go to school. If you’re at school full time you’re doing something. If you’re new to the working world you may not be making enough to move out yet, but maybe you pay some form of rent to your parents. 

I have several friends who live with their parents still and are in their 30’s, but they all pay rent every month and work full time. It is what it is. But if you’re a do nothing who expects everything given to him or her for no reason, then others will feel a certain way about it. I have a friend who is physically unable to work full time; he has a rare disease that binds him to a wheelchair which prevents him from getting out a lot. Even so he still volunteers to help special needs students in the summer and pays his mother rent from the grants he receives. So a Joe Schmo with nothing stopping them from working but unwillingness, what’s your excuse?

[Denim&Venöm 16,460]

Short answer: Old and or rich people who are blissfully ignorant of the changing times, still thinking that 'if I could do it, so can anyone.' Also the idea of living with your family contrasts with the american ideal of independence. Pulling yourself up by your boot straps and working your way to the dream, reinforced with the economic boom of the 50s when all this began. Everyone assumed that american prosperity would last forever, ignoring the fact that nothing does, and being ignorant that the end has already come. Sometime between 2001 and 2008. 

TL:DR: wealthy and successful baby boomers are ignorant and in denial, refusing to hear that the 'murican dream is now a pipe one, not realizing that the independent youth is a recent invention of the last half century.  

 

And yes, I too live with my folks. And I get to keep doing so rent free as long as I keep working and as long as I keep saving. They didn't start saving till later in life. They got themselves in debt around my age. Heck, my parents became parents living with their parents. So they sympathize and understand that with my current wages, even working full time, that I'll barley keep myself afloat. 

They aren't hindering my journey to independence. They're helping. And I get that impression from many a parent who still have their kids around.