heavens-champion

Why do people look down on people who still live with their parents?

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On 3/25/2019 at 7:40 PM, Anneal said:

A lot of that has to do with land use and urban sprawl. A few generations ago, right after the post-WW2 era, cheap houses were being built en masse in suburban developments, and they were frequently low density and huge houses located in far flung cul-de-sacs. That kind of development may have been cheap at first, but many American cities have now been sprawling at such an alarming rate due to this kind of land use being promoted and encouraged for the last 60 years or so that it's becoming increasingly less and less sustainable. Now in cities like Los Angeles or Atlanta, you may have to drive an average of 50 minutes to work (and back from it) every day. This kind of suburban development has also hindered public transportation from properly spreading out and is forcing more and more Americans to buy cars and literally depend on it for their livelihoods.

Can confirm. I drive minimum 45 minutes one way to work but it's usually closer to a full hour, then the same back home. If I don't have a car, I'm completely screwed. Not that I'd use public transit either way - too many people I don't want to be near.

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Do they? In most cultures it is common to do that until marriage or even longer and the Great Recession of the late 2000s and rising rents in the 2010s have made this less stereotypical.

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Some people in low income scenarios have no other choice but to be homeless, its about gravitating to opportunity. Some families are just family value oriented and these are people you see that have regular full family get togethers at italian restaurants, and have the grandparents living upstairs. If it contributes to a common goal, and you are not in dire need of the absolute privacy, it is more fiscally intelligent to live with your parents or direct family. I mean, I was never one to be like, "I got to be the first one in my own place, I need to have a vehicle I cant afford, I need to have frivolous things in my apartment to make payments on to create the illusion of sustainability I have yet to fully reach." Truth is your family is always your family, and this sometimes includes close friends, but the ridicule and negative opinions of others who have no place in your life, is probably out of financial jealousy, responsibilities that someone regrets taking on, a found complacency much earlier than the person still figuring out their life. Dont be as weary of them though, at least you know how they see you, there are worse kind of people and they are the ones that know you may have some extra disposable income and feel entitled to it because you live co dependently, and they have a lot of their plate, to some of these people its "not fair" and you are their attempt at having luxuries they can't afford, because they chose the luxury of independence. 

 

AND AS FAR AS BOOMERS that look down on Millennials, its like they don't realize how bad they crashed the housing market, and yes people our age living together is the "independent" alternative to living with our parents. We have to get jobs and share apartments to afford living in many cases..(the part time demographic)

Edited by Aquaflame

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I think it's the expectation to get out and be independent that has just carried on over the years.

Costs for education and just general living unfortunately have gone up significantly compared to wages. Another problem that I think really keeps people from moving on is lack of teaching about credit- which I think they should teach at least in High School. Starting credit can be like getting wings OR LIKE FALLING IN A BLACK HOLE depending on how it's used.

Right out of high school at 18 I got a secured credit card (paid $300 for a $300 limit credit card which sent my $300 back to me after using and paying the card for a few months). I didn't make enough and didn't have a credit score so that's all I could get for a credit card. I was working and going to school and when I eventually got a good offer for a credit card (usually with a cash bonus if you spend X dollars in a few months) I would sign up and use it to pay my normal stuff BUT pay it off every month so it didn't cost me anything in interest. I would then later on get a new one with a good offer and stop using the last one BUT KEEP IT. The cards I stopped using started to send me checks for 0% for a year with a 3% fee that I would just write to myself and put in my bank for school, emergencies, or for paying my car insurance 6 months ahead to get a good discount. I would pay them back within that year and eventually I would just flip flop with another card that sent the checks. Basically it acted like a 3% loan but I was saving over 3% on car insurance. One of the cards even gives me $25 every three months just for paying on time all the time. :laugh:

Over time my credit score went way up and was able to get a new car (at 24)  AT A GOOD RATE and without a cosigner even though I don't make much money. Then at 27 I decided to try and get a reasonable house for about the cost monthly of a decent apartment- since house prices were going up at a faster pace than I could save money anymore. I also was at a point where I probably would need to get a student loan- WHICH I DIDN'T WANT. So house seemed the way to go.

When I found a house I was interested to try and buy I told the Mortgage company that I WILL NOT pay mortgage insurance (TOTAL scam), I WILL NOT have a Cosigner, AND THAT I AM NOT SELLING the car- so they better make it work or don't waste my time or their time. Guess what- IT WORKED :laugh: They ended up rolling what was left of what I owed on the car into the mortgage. I was the same rate so It worked out.

I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS FOR SURE IF I DIDN'T LIVE AT HOME. I was however working part/full time, going to school full/part time, and paying rent of a few hundred dollars-  which were some of the conditions to continue to live there after 18.

Living on my own in my house has been just OK- that's about it. I don't have much extra money at all- BUT the house has gone up in value quite a bit in the almost 3 years. There's always stupid little things with owning a house that you have to fix and stuff. Luckily I figured expenses very carefully because My grandma who coincidentally lived 1/2 mile away in the same sub got sick and died quite unexpectedly. It took about a year and a half out of my plans of getting a better job since we had to clear out and sell her house. Things may be getting better soon though :squee:

If you are 18+ and haven't started any credit- get on it- BUT BE CAREFUL!

Edited by Cirrus.

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I see it as a sad case of elitism in western society, though it could be in others as well. It is used as a means of other people putting themselves up higher on the scale and looking down on those who haven't done what they did, as if living on your own is any sign of 'success'. I know several people that still live with at least one of their parents and for them that is what works. They support each other and it makes things easier for both of them. That is perfectly fine. Granted I still live with my dad because of my mental issues and often I view myself as a total failure, but me living with him usually isn't the reason for that viewpoint.

People in this culture will do anything to make themselves seem better than others, that's what this all tends boil down to, in my experience.

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Why would anyone look down on someone living with their parents? Sometimes it’s the natural and convenient thing to do. I can’t see anything to be ashamed of or anything to ridicule. It’s just a living arrangement. I stayed at home living with my parents till I had roots growing into the floor. It took a while to get me out. 

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Because old people do, and the most unconfident young people in the world desperately want to act like old people so people will take them seriously. They never stop to think why old people act so stupidly.

Old people look down on young people because they don't understand that old people are the reason why this generation has it much harder than their parents ever did.

"You're twenty, and you don't have a big house and wife yet?"

"No dad, I'd have to work for twenty more years years at my minimum-wage job before I'd be able to afford a house."

"Nonsense, those are just excuses! You're just lazy!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZJDTod_fXs

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Not everyone does, it depends on where you live, what time period, and what kind of people you're around. Over where I am it is looked down upon, because it's if you don't then people assume that you don't contribute much or that you're a loser, and it's a small town where rumor spreads quickly and social status is very important. However, a couple hundred miles away, in the bigger city where housing is more expensive, people don't care as much.

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