Misscellanio

Can you be best friends with someone who is anti- a big part of you?

Recommended Posts

Wasn't sure how to make the title clearer, but I wanted to see how many people out there could actually be "BEST FRIENDS" not just mutual friends, or friends of convenience, or even good friends, I'm talking about like best friends who will sleep over over each other's house, share socks, embrace each other every 5 seconds, etc. but they are against something that is a big part of your life, lifestyle, etc.

For example, best friend with someone who is anti-homosexuality like altogether and has made it clear people should not do it. I'm sure I'm mutual friends with some people like that, but never would I be able to be best friend with someone like 

Another example, best friends with someone who thinks something like Star Wars or something else (like my little pony or something) is disgusting and people should stop watching it because it promotes some crazy negative idea and you are supporting that crazy negative idea meaning you believe in that super crazy idea. 

I do have mutual friends and friends of convenience who I disagree with many things with and I could never see ourselves getting too close because I know there is that barrier. 

  • Brohoof 1
  • Pondering 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

I like to think that I can be friends with almost anyone. Even if someone completely opposes my religion, despises fans of MLP:FiM, or thinks that anime is stupid, I feel I would be able to look past that. As long as they don’t bash me or belittle me, it should be fine. 

Unless you hate Katsuki Bakugou. That is unforgivable 

:maud:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Bakugou Is My Man ❤ said:

I like to think that I can be friends with almost anyone. Even if someone completely opposes my religion, despises fans of MLP:FiM, or thinks that anime is stupid, I feel I would be able to look past that. As long as they don’t bash me or belittle me, it should be fine. 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Unless you hate Katsuki Bakugou. That is unforgivable 

:maud:

 

Well being friends with someone is one thing, but I specifically said “BEST FRIENDS.”

 

also so I don’t hate Bakugo.....certainly was not a fan of his character in the show tho ahahahaAhahaha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

13 minutes ago, Misscellanio said:

Well being friends with someone is one thing, but I specifically said “BEST FRIENDS.”

Aye, that is what I meant. I used the word “friend” assuming that you would understand that I understood your post :muffins:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally could not.

Associate, maybe even have fun once in a while with them? Of course. But there are some differences that cannot be reconciled. Nor do I feel like they have to be. I'm against and/or disagree with plenty of viewpoints tht various people express here on the forums. And I'm sure they feel the same about me.

We can still be civil, even friendly, with each other. But no, I'm going to be "best friends" with someone that has a vehement hatred for, say, my religion. And I don't expect people to be friends with me if I cannot stand something they care about. I feel that is more honest. Go find someone that gets you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

I'm pretty sure that if the other person really hates something I do or like, he would be the first to not want to be friends with me. 

Let's say the other guy thinks that anyone who likes MLP deserves to be shot. Well, once he finds out that I like MLP, I'm pretty sure he will not want to have anything to do with me anymore.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nope, that would be a big no. My passions and interests are a big part of my daily life, which means I'd bring at least one of them up everyday. Said person and I would never get along, so BFF is out of the question here. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Definitely not. Someone who is against an integral part of who I am is no friend of mine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think I could, as I would find it difficult to connect to that said individual. I'm not ruling out being friends completely, but we would probably not be very close ones, if friends at al.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most definitely not, I can not fathom being friends with someone who is fundamentally against most everything I hold dear. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

I don't even have to say whether I think I could do it....because I already do! :D

My lifetime friend I've made over a year ago is a complete atheist and total opposite of the political spectrum of the one I grew up in but that has never stopped us from being friends. And I generally dislike some of their hobbies.

How do we do it, easy communication is key. First we were very open with what we're opposed to. Then we determined how much opposed to it we were, and mostly it comes down to whether we are the one's infringing such thing on ourselves and can still tolerate when others keep it to themselves. If we ever feel the conversation is drifting towards something that the other is opposed to, we ask if they don't mind bringing it up and sometimes we say no and sometimes we say yes. It's all about being open to discussion on any front because only you can determine how much the conversation will sway you and affect you.

While this may not be the extreme example you're proposing, it still is a unique on and everytime we do hang out we have often noted how messed up our friendship is that still works.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My best friend is in love with Star Wars and I don’t like it but we still get along. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are certain types of people, which require to be right about certain topics. I cannot be friends witch someone that refuses to take input from other sources.
I do not refuse friendship. It is just not working when you have to actively "sink" to their level.

But when it comes to simple things like disagreeing on what is the coolest show on television, or who is best to lead this country, then that doesn't stop friendship! We all have opinions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

(edited)

I don't think so. One thing is having different opinions on a subject and the other is outright being anti something, which implies they will be actively attacking or imposing their ideas on anyone that doesn't agree with them.

My best friend for example, he doesn't really agree with me being agender or pretty much anything that is not cis-hetero. He has his opinions on the matter but ultimately he tolerates it and tries to be polite. I have my own opinions in the matter but ultimately also tolerate it and let him call me whatever he feels. Still I will sometimes ask him for options for a possible new name or he shares me a related new article or news (like the new non-binary dolls) because regardless if what he thinks he knows it will make me happy.

If he were anti-transgender for example I would guess he would be like those that try to argue with you reasons for why you cannot be this or that, and instead send me articles on why it's a made up thing or try to convert me wherever possible. Why would I want to be with someone like that in the first place. 

If I discovered later in our friendship that he was like that I would either gradually leave him, or the more likely scenario, we would have had a big fight one day and tell him to f off.

Regarding shows and all that, he's a star wars boy and I'm a pony dude, we aren't really interested in watching the other's series but we still do to because we are friends, and because we know it makes the other happy that we saw X video or episode or whatever (even if we sometimes don't and we know it but we don't force anything on each other and if one doesn't want to see it it's fine, we don't stop sharing), and we might like something too or have something to talk about later. 

If on the contrary one of us were insulting and or hateful just because one likes a certain thing I think we would both agree that that's just stupid for anyone to hate just because of that and we wouldn't like to be with someone like intolerant like that. Why would we. 

Edited by Ittoni

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No way can I be best friends with someone who is anti-LGBT, sexist, racist, etc. Those traits are not "opinions", they are evil. They are major, harmful flaws. That's all that really needs to be said on that matter.

I can easily set aside religious differences (as long as they don't use their religious beliefs to justify any of the above) and, of course, differences in opinions on media. My experience is that I tend to become best friends with people who have similar interests and are less religious; however, that should not be required or anything. And I mean I've never had a friend who shared all of my interests. Back when I was really into FiM in the early 2010s, none of my friends actually liked FiM and that wasn't a problem at all.

In my community college days I actually had made an acquaintance who shared a lot of interests with me - we could talk about Classical music, Early music, 60s/70s music, anime, etc. But then it came out that he was a raging homophobe who even made a post on FB comparing being gay to pedophilia. He tried to apologize to me privately, but it made no difference as he just held onto the same views, and so I left him behind.

Interests are nice to share, but they are not the end-all be-all. I'd much sooner be best friends with a country music listening LGBT rights activist before him.

And even sharing beliefs on religion, does not make someone a good person. Case and point the atheist community is full to the brim with misogynistic, homophobic, transphobes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say more than likely not but not as a rule. Many of those that are close to me have wildly different views on some things. Nowadays the trick is not to let your opinions on politics and pop culture get in the way of your friendship since those seem to be surprisingly huge dividing factors. I would say my sister-in-law is my best friend but she is quite the polar opposite of me in terms of politics and the only one in the house not Catholic. She is not even a Rassell fan which is appalling... But we're still close.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

(edited)

just because someone is homophobic or that kind of stuff doesn't push me away at all. I mean it's just a part of them, so I don't really care

Edited by Xeltor

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

Haven't really had many people I would have considered best friends but I have had friends who have supported rival football teams where there are pretty intense rivalries or disliked things I like or I've disliked things they've liked. I've also had friends with completely different political viewpoints so differences can work and people don't have to be alike to be friends.

Where it kind of falls down though is when people become so extreme that they just hate anyone who has a different opinion than them on something, which is something I've had to come to accept after ending up distancing myself from some friends who I know would hate me if I ever even slightly disagreed with them on something.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(edited)

I don't think that would be remotely possible. Especially on specific things it might be really hard. Slight disagreements on things are fine, but if they are anti-me how could we POSSIBLY be friends? Let alone best friends? Especially if they are anti-LGBT or anti-atheist, or et cetera being that those are literally part of who I am.

 

When it comes to political beliefs, sure I could be friends with somebody with different beliefs. but I'm not so sure if I could be friends with somebody who would be literally the opposite of me (that would be a far right fascist). But I do have people I associate with who are definitely a ways to the right of me politically speaking, even on here.

Edited by Spider Demon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Envy said:

No way can I be best friends with someone who is anti-LGBT, sexist, racist, etc. Those traits are not "opinions", they are evil. They are major, harmful flaws. That's all that really needs to be said on that matter.

I can easily set aside religious differences (as long as they don't use their religious beliefs to justify any of the above) and, of course, differences in opinions on media. My experience is that I tend to become best friends with people who have similar interests and are less religious; however, that should not be required or anything. And I mean I've never had a friend who shared all of my interests. Back when I was really into FiM in the early 2010s, none of my friends actually liked FiM and that wasn't a problem at all.

In my community college days I actually had made an acquaintance who shared a lot of interests with me - we could talk about Classical music, Early music, 60s/70s music, anime, etc. But then it came out that he was a raging homophobe who even made a post on FB comparing being gay to pedophilia. He tried to apologize to me privately, but it made no difference as he just held onto the same views, and so I left him behind.

Interests are nice to share, but they are not the end-all be-all. I'd much sooner be best friends with a country music listening LGBT rights activist before him.

And even sharing beliefs on religion, does not make someone a good person. Case and point the atheist community is full to the brim with misogynistic, homophobic, transphobes.

Yea I haven't met anyone who directly did something like "compare being gay to pedophilia" but if I did then I definitely couldn't see myself staying friends with that person. I was friends (mainly just FB friends and every now and then were hanging out with the same group of people) with this one person who was a Trump supporter and anti-gay apologist (honestly couldn't tell if he himself was a homophobe) so on FB we would always bump heads about stuff and I was like "hmmm maybe being friends with this person isn't such a good idea." So yea deleted him. 

"Atheist community is full to the brim..." really? I always found that most lgbt people I meet in life either are atheist, secular, or don't care about religion. Even shooting through the internet and think tanks most people who critique religion, who are straight, use the fact that because many religions are anti-lgbt that is a negative.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

5 hours ago, Ittoni said:

I don't think so. One thing is having different opinions on a subject and the other is outright being anti something, which implies they will be actively attacking or imposing their ideas on anyone that doesn't agree with them.

My best friend for example, he doesn't really agree with me being agender or pretty much anything that is not cis-hetero. He has his opinions on the matter but ultimately he tolerates it and tries to be polite. I have my own opinions in the matter but ultimately also tolerate it and let him call me whatever he feels. Still I will sometimes ask him for options for a possible new name or he shares me a related new article or news (like the new non-binary dolls) because regardless if what he thinks he knows it will make me happy.

If he were anti-transgender for example I would guess he would be like those that try to argue with you reasons for why you cannot be this or that, and instead send me articles on why it's a made up thing or try to convert me wherever possible. Why would I want to be with someone like that in the first place. 

 

Yea this is kind of where I stand. I have a "friend" (really more friend of convenience than anything else as we only talk at pony conventions and mutual parties) and he once mentioned that he doesn't think Pansexuality is a thing. And I kind of dismissed it. But if every time I brought up that I was pansexual he would have to retort that it's not a thing or try convince me and other people around me that it isn't a thing than I would definitely have to speak to him about how upset it makes me when he does that. 

He has never done that again, so I guess I would say it's nothing to worry about, but like I still don't think I could be "best friends" with him (one being I'm just not that interested in him as a person and I'm sure there are mutual feelings there) because he kind of sees me as invalid. But I have some best friends now who don't care all about the nuances within the lgbt community and just in general society and they don't care to educate themselves, but much like you said they are polite and do things certain things because they know it makes me happy, as I would them. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

Best friends, probably not. I've been friends with people of completely different ideologies before and weren't necessarily into my favorite things, but we got around this with our sense of humor. As long as you can laugh at yourselves and each other, it's possible, but it really depends on how civil they are, and the consistency in their beliefs. I can handle someone I disagree with who is well mannered, but I can't work with someone who flip flops on major issues.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(edited)

While I'm not afraid to agree to disagree. However if somebody was the complete anti-big part of me I would not even talk to them. What I mean is somebody completely despise something I like and talk thrash about what I like. Then well I'm not going to talk with them to begin with even they do like something I do. For Example in MLP: FiM lets Say somebody was to talk bad about Applejack  or Rarity constantly (this is just an example). I just not going to talk with them. Not liking them and saying it once is one thing but when you down right make it patronizing is another thing!

 

As for beliefs, politics, socialism (not sure it is the right term), philosophies, etc. Well I'll just don't talk about the subjects myself. While I have my stand on these type of things I just rather not talk about them. Heck if that person already happens to be my friend and brings up a subject I don't want to talk I will change the subject. Though if I'm not friends with them well I'll ignore them and let them talk about. As well that is the persons opinion on such personal subjects.

Edited by Prince Doopliss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, Misscellanio said:

Wasn't sure how to make the title clearer, but I wanted to see how many people out there could actually be "BEST FRIENDS" not just mutual friends, or friends of convenience, or even good friends, I'm talking about like best friends who will sleep over over each other's house, share socks, embrace each other every 5 seconds, etc. but they are against something that is a big part of your life, lifestyle, etc.

For example, best friend with someone who is anti-homosexuality like altogether and has made it clear people should not do it. I'm sure I'm mutual friends with some people like that, but never would I be able to be best friend with someone like 

Another example, best friends with someone who thinks something like Star Wars or something else (like my little pony or something) is disgusting and people should stop watching it because it promotes some crazy negative idea and you are supporting that crazy negative idea meaning you believe in that super crazy idea. 

I do have mutual friends and friends of convenience who I disagree with many things with and I could never see ourselves getting too close because I know there is that barrier. 

It seems like it would be very hard. Something one would probably only do if they were kind of desperate, to be honest.

 

  • Brohoof 2
  • Pondering 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Be friends with people strongly opposed to the second amendment? Sure, considering that Id imagine a lot of people in this community are its just the fact wed never bring up that topic or things may become a bit.....heated, to say the least lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.