MapleMoon

Critique Wanted Need Help with OC

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Hi everypony! I hope you are doing well. I need a little help with my OC. Well, maybe more than "a little." So first things first. I'm still debating on color concepts. I narrowed it down to a bat pony since I think I can relate to being a night owl and can put more love and detail into the character. I want her to be a bat pony. Not a fruit bat pony like Fluttershy was. Though I love her wings. I need help deciding on the wings since both look nice. I've been wanting to do night time / cool color palettes since they make her cutie mark pop, but I don’t want to be another purple pony though. There are already too many Twilight like ponies out there. I’ve tweaked the colors to be a bit of an ombre color effect for a unique look for both coat and hair. The one thing I want to really keep is her burgundy hair.

In shorts here is what I want:

  • Keep the Burgundy hair (burgundy can range from a dark purple to red shades)
  • Cool tones 
  • Don’t want another purple pony/ twilight clones

Here are is a couple images of the ideas I have. I’m switching and swapping colors and win types around on both samples:

 

16139696_MapleMooncomparison.thumb.jpg.3715dfb3c32efff5259ca7d2c36e79fd.jpg

 

For base A, she is leaning more towards warmer tones to go with her cutie mark. Her burgundy hair is leaning more to a reddish tone and darker colors. I was trying to steer away from Twilights soft purple coat. I’ve put the bat wings on this one since Luna’s bat ponies seem to portray more bat like qualities.

Base B I was going more of a bluish purple for a cooler tone. Both her hair and coat are leaning more towards blue. I added more blue to her hair. I add fluttershy’s bat wings with how pretty they are and with a faint transparency to them like in the show.

Last thing I want to talk about is her occupancy. Maybe she can be an artist. Are there such things are graphic designers in the MLP universe? I mean, someone who helps create banners, fliers, labels that go on bottles and glasses. Maybe she can be a freelance artist. I honestly have no idea what kind of job she could have besides being a guard for Luna. I don’t want her to be a fighter really. Here is a bit about her to help with ideas:

 

Personality:  A bit of an introvert. Would like to spend her nights quietly on a cloud or in her home. She gets easily stressed out when too many things come her way, which is why she would rather stay away from a lot of ponies if possible or tries to take on one assignment at a time so she doesn’t put too much stuff on her plate. She can also get distracted easily with other things and can lose track of time. She likes to draw, play video games, or watch movies at home. When she does go out, she likes to go to late night cafes, libraries, hiking through forest, or other quiet places with not many ponies.

Likes: Quiet nights, music, drawing, gaming, cool breezes, walking in wooded trails in the late evening, animals of all kinds, rainy days inside, hot drinks, and cafes.

Dislikes: Loud ponies, crowds, having to do multiple things at once, spiders (anything with a lot of legs really)

 

Cutie Mark:

797327108_CutieMark.jpg.8804e08a7cc4caafb7b18b8939afc2f5.jpg

 

 

What do you ponies think? Any suggest would be nice since I just can’t make up my mind on which wings or colors I like best. I think more detail about her might be needed, but I'm not sure. Do bat ponies come from Cloudsdale?

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I personally like A quite a bit better, as it gives her a far more distinct feeling from that of a 'normal' pony. The colors are also a lot more autumnal, and perhaps a bit more dingy. She feels more like a bat pony, but still feels like she would be approachable, but not too approachable, since she is an introvert, after all. Additionally the gradient is subtle, but still draws the eye. I feel like the second set of wings is pretty, but feels to fae, especially since it looks like the wings are slightly transparent. Maybe leaning a bit more towards changeling, even. Personally overall I like the first design much more. As for where bat pones come from, I feel like they can come from anywhere, so long as your backstory is solid, and consistently written.

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The original Lunar Guards we saw in season 2 episode 4 were the only Batponies we had seen officially until season 5 episode 26. In both we saw them having dark blue wings and matching tails, with exception to Rainbow Dash. Her wings not matching her mane and tail could be the result of it being seen as too much of an effort to give them that much color, or it's because she's clearly been turned into a Batpony, which might be why she doesn't carry all of the same traits.

The Batponies from season 2 had golden eyes with slit pupils, and while all Batponies in season 5 had slit pupils, eye color varied though gold was present. Rainbow Dash's eyes only had slit pupils while she had her helmet on, but I this was supposed to be a shocking reveal that under the right circumstances she would have served Nightmare Moon, so I doubt she actually had them to begin with. One might try to explain this by the exposure to more light with the helmet off could cause her pupils to widen, but the Batponies in season 2 had much more open helmets so this isn't the case. 

It's also very well possible that Rainbow Dash is receiving special treatment which is why she's able to stand out among the Lunar Guards. Most Royal guards look the exact same, but I think their clone like quality is intentional and a part of the uniform. The other Batponies in season 5 could just be regular Batponies, or they could've been transformed like dash but had to adhere to a stricter appearance like the Royal Guard. This could explain their differing eye color but not the slit pupil unless that's something cast by the helmet as we don't see them with theirs off.

I generally use the Batpony Wiki as my go to. The most popular Batponies made by fans tend to follow three guidelines for wings. First is siding on a traditional blueish purple hue. Second and my personal favorite, matching the mane and tail color, sticking to just the primary color although I wouldn't say it's unacceptable to use a secondary color for the wing frame. You've gone with a similar but different choice on "A" with having only the membrane match the mane and the frame match the coat. The third is to pick a color that compliments the res tof the design. Matching with the mane does this, but some opt for matching with an eye color or doing one that is similar but different to those or the coat. This is my least favorite because while the colors work together, it's not guaranteed they will in this setting.

I think you should go with "A" as she overall fits into what I'd consider the Batpony standard, as well as the fact that Flutterbat's wings may look nice and all, those indicate her as being Vampiric (Vampire Bat Pony, for those exclusively with wings, but also Vampire Pony or Vampony could be applied to those without such as an Earth Pony or Unicorn but this is unexplored territory), even though you're not using the differing wings, eyes, ears, and fangs that follow suit.

It think you've done a fantastic job with her appearance, the colors work, the mane and tail look nice, the cutie mark is simple but well pronounced as it should be. You've followed show etiquette wonderfully.

I don't see any reason she couldn't be a graphic designer, there's clearly a need for that kind of work and we've seen examples of banners and so on before.

I like to think that Batponies have an ancestral home outside of Equestria, and were either unknown or disregarded as insignificant by the three pony tribes before migrating. They could have lived high up and isolated in caves, surviving through the cold brought on by the Windigos, and then coming down from the mountains to live where some of the other pony species had before.

Over time they'd progress and establish a unique culture and so on, and like how the British hired primarily Hessian and other German soldiers during the American Revolution, Luna or Nightmare Moon did the same with the BatPonies. This assumes that there was likely more to the conflict than one bad evening within the castle.

After the banishment, many of them just stuck around in this new land filled with opportunity, some swearing fealty to Celestia to keep their positions as guards or settling down. Ideally Hollow Shades has been a fan favorite location for them within Equestria, but since it's a long abandoned settlement they've clearly had to of moved on. Kind of a shame because the location was relatively lined up with where the highest German populations in the US reside.

Sorry for the head canon dump.

So while not common, they could potentially be found anywhere, even in Cloudsdale, if you fall under the belief that they can walk on clouds the same as Pegasi, Griffons, and Hippogriffs.

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10 hours ago, Jetset Troblems said:

I personally like A quite a bit better, as it gives her a far more distinct feeling from that of a 'normal' pony. The colors are also a lot more autumnal, and perhaps a bit more dingy. She feels more like a bat pony, but still feels like she would be approachable, but not too approachable, since she is an introvert, after all. Additionally the gradient is subtle, but still draws the eye. I feel like the second set of wings is pretty, but feels to fae, especially since it looks like the wings are slightly transparent. Maybe leaning a bit more towards changeling, even. Personally overall I like the first design much more. As for where bat pones come from, I feel like they can come from anywhere, so long as your backstory is solid, and consistently written.

Yes! I was going for an autumn feel since her cutie mark is a maple leaf on a moon. I wonder if I should have her as a changling since I love her bat form, but I also have a unicorn form of her as well from earlier designs. It was hard decide which type of pony she would be since unicorns tend to be creative. I feel her personality also fits well with just wanting quiet and peaceful environments like what the changlings were accomplishing. I wish there was more information on bat ponies. Lauren Faust says they are their own species of pony.

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5 hours ago, SharpWit said:

The original Lunar Guards we saw in season 2 episode 4 were the only Batponies we had seen officially until season 5 episode 26. In both we saw them having dark blue wings and matching tails, with exception to Rainbow Dash. Her wings not matching her mane and tail could be the result of it being seen as too much of an effort to give them that much color, or it's because she's clearly been turned into a Batpony, which might be why she doesn't carry all of the same traits.

The Batponies from season 2 had golden eyes with slit pupils, and while all Batponies in season 5 had slit pupils, eye color varied though gold was present. Rainbow Dash's eyes only had slit pupils while she had her helmet on, but I this was supposed to be a shocking reveal that under the right circumstances she would have served Nightmare Moon, so I doubt she actually had them to begin with. One might try to explain this by the exposure to more light with the helmet off could cause her pupils to widen, but the Batponies in season 2 had much more open helmets so this isn't the case. 

It's also very well possible that Rainbow Dash is receiving special treatment which is why she's able to stand out among the Lunar Guards. Most Royal guards look the exact same, but I think their clone like quality is intentional and a part of the uniform. The other Batponies in season 5 could just be regular Batponies, or they could've been transformed like dash but had to adhere to a stricter appearance like the Royal Guard. This could explain their differing eye color but not the slit pupil unless that's something cast by the helmet as we don't see them with theirs off.

I generally use the Batpony Wiki as my go to. The most popular Batponies made by fans tend to follow three guidelines for wings. First is siding on a traditional blueish purple hue. Second and my personal favorite, matching the mane and tail color, sticking to just the primary color although I wouldn't say it's unacceptable to use a secondary color for the wing frame. You've gone with a similar but different choice on "A" with having only the membrane match the mane and the frame match the coat. The third is to pick a color that compliments the res tof the design. Matching with the mane does this, but some opt for matching with an eye color or doing one that is similar but different to those or the coat. This is my least favorite because while the colors work together, it's not guaranteed they will in this setting.

I think you should go with "A" as she overall fits into what I'd consider the Batpony standard, as well as the fact that Flutterbat's wings may look nice and all, those indicate her as being Vampiric (Vampire Bat Pony, for those exclusively with wings, but also Vampire Pony or Vampony could be applied to those without such as an Earth Pony or Unicorn but this is unexplored territory), even though you're not using the differing wings, eyes, ears, and fangs that follow suit.

It think you've done a fantastic job with her appearance, the colors work, the mane and tail look nice, the cutie mark is simple but well pronounced as it should be. You've followed show etiquette wonderfully.

I don't see any reason she couldn't be a graphic designer, there's clearly a need for that kind of work and we've seen examples of banners and so on before.

I like to think that Batponies have an ancestral home outside of Equestria, and were either unknown or disregarded as insignificant by the three pony tribes before migrating. They could have lived high up and isolated in caves, surviving through the cold brought on by the Windigos, and then coming down from the mountains to live where some of the other pony species had before.

Over time they'd progress and establish a unique culture and so on, and like how the British hired primarily Hessian and other German soldiers during the American Revolution, Luna or Nightmare Moon did the same with the BatPonies. This assumes that there was likely more to the conflict than one bad evening within the castle.

After the banishment, many of them just stuck around in this new land filled with opportunity, some swearing fealty to Celestia to keep their positions as guards or settling down. Ideally Hollow Shades has been a fan favorite location for them within Equestria, but since it's a long abandoned settlement they've clearly had to of moved on. Kind of a shame because the location was relatively lined up with where the highest German populations in the US reside.

Sorry for the head canon dump.

So while not common, they could potentially be found anywhere, even in Cloudsdale, if you fall under the belief that they can walk on clouds the same as Pegasi, Griffons, and Hippogriffs.

I noticed that too when I was researching and rewatching episodes that had bat ponies. I especially made note on Luna’s guard. I think their wings just have armor on them that is similar to their body armor. Their tails also have similar colors/ armor.  I wonder why Rianbow Dash’s ears didn’t change. Like, I noticed Rainbows eyes did change when she had her helmet on, but why did they change back? (Maybe it’s an animation error/ surprise effect like you said). Rainbow must be a special case.  I wish there was more information on them.  

The hair with the body color look more seamless when I put in on her. It just seemed to fit better. There are also wings that are the same color as the body. One of the things I like about the bat ponies is how diverse people have been with them. I agree with you on B’s wings. I didn’t like the ears or how the fangs on Fluttershy’s Vampire bat/ Fruitbat form looked, but still wanted to see what it would look like on her and get other people’s opinion on it.

Thank you so much. It was so hard to create a cutie mark for her. I want to stay true to the show. I noticed that simple is better in their world.

It’s hard to find occupations for ponies since the show doesn’t expand too much on them, though I can see why it would be hard considering how there are millions of jobs lol I suppose they did do a bit of that when the CMC was trying to get their cutie marks. I was thinking she is either an artist/ graphic designer or works graveyard shifts at cafes.

That would be total sense if that was their history. I can see that being played out. Or maybe they were unknown and lived so far away that not even the princesses knew about them. They could have existed before Celestia and Luna became Princesses. I mean, I would like Luna would have been happier and wouldn’t change into Nightmare Moon if she knew she had subjects that only came out at night or maybe would seek them out. Maybe that’s why she and Celestial fought. She wanted to go out on her own and rule her own lands with bat ponies, separating the lands and their unity which would weaken Equestria.

No need to be sorry. I love canons like this. It adds to the possible history of Equestria that the writers didn’t give. I would assume bat ponies could walk on clouds since other winged species can in the show. Though I find it more interesting to have her come from a place like Hollow Shades. It would add to her character as to why she isn’t as social or lively as the other ponies are.

 

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