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general Do you feel regret or shame?


ZethaPonderer

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Self Explanatory Topic really.

Regret is such an uncomfortable feeling that spirals me to the point of insanity and crippling depression. There are many things in Life I have done that I regret (even in MLP Forums and other online forums in general as I hate to admit), but as long as I meditate and understand what I did wrong, accept criticism (be they nice or harsh) and own up to my failures for the pursuit of achieving success in that which I’ve regretted. To me Regret is a negative emotion that’ll destroy you if you don’t do something about it.

Shame on the other hand is something I’ve become complacent with. It helped me since childhood and continues to do so. I think Shame builds character and shows a sense of care/sensitivity you have for anything. It’s a feeling to remind you that you have your mental and psychological limits and trying to overdo your limits can be disastrous for your health/survivability. Having no shame or being entirely shameless in everything you do in Life is a Life not worth living IMHO. So to me, Shame is an emotion we Humans deep down don’t want to feel because it’s uncomfortable just as much as Regret, but an emotion we need to survive.

What do you all think? No need to be too personal. Just wondering if any of you feel ashamed or regret throughout your Life?

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sure but i feel like guilt specifically would be a more accurate descriptor for how i feel, i usually feel guilty most of the time even with no discernible reason

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I'm constantly burdened by guilt for things I sometimes have no reason to feel guilty about, like for example talking to somebody and coming across a specific way, or giving somebody an impression I didn't mean to, or really a ton of other things. Comes with anxiety issues.

 

Shame, well, is a feeling somewhat synonymous with guilt, so I've technically covered it.

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3 hours ago, Zero said:

sure but i feel like guilt specifically would be a more accurate descriptor for how i feel, i usually feel guilty most of the time even with no discernible reason

I agree. Feeling guilt is what describes my feelings better. I don't feel regret or shame, because there isn't anything. Only shame in the sense of shyness, but I overcame that pretty much. Feeling guilt on the otherhand has a purpose, it was necessary and lead me to the person I am now. Every experience is new wisdom and it will make one an even better person each time.

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I have these feelings to a rather absurd degree. Usually I feel ashamed of my own existence. I often feel useless to the world despite my efforts to give my life some kind of justification. Then there's all of my different mental issues and the fact that I cannot drive or do certain other things, it often makes me feel inferior. Been trying very hard to not feel so bad about that last bit. The things I do for my DA are how I try to make up for it, it is something at least. Even so, I still often make so many blunders and mistakes that it is hard for me not to feel guilty about something anymore.

One of my most massive problems for a while now is I feel absolutely ashamed of my nationality. I cannot stand being an "American", so much so it has gotten to the point where simply hearing the words "america" and "american" get under my skin, especially if I am called such, seeing the "american flag" spammed everywhere bothers me and all of that is a fuel for my self-hatred. I have absolutely no passion left for the US as a whole. This is one of the main reasons why I have such a deep passion about the individuality of the states themselves. I am obsessed with what makes them all different from each other, their different flags, culture and what have you, rather than seeing them as lumped into the mass. I would much prefer to be called a Hoosier instead, but sadly any of us living in the US are thrown into the generic pot, no individuality allowed according to the rest of the world or even most people in the US itself.

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I regret a lot of Things, like my horrible depressing Facebook Posts that i usually just end up deleting or the depressing stuff i post on here, that i regret.

Im not really ashamed of much at the Moment, since im not really doing anything, but i am still ashamed of some Animations that i did.

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Ah regrets, one my archenemies in why life can be a bitch sometime. I don’t feel shame much unless if I act out of arrogantly. 

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Do I feel it? Pretty much all of the time.

I constantly do things, then 5 minutes later want to beat myself up for ever saying it.

Nothing can really compared to certain things I've done (or lack there-of), and I almost daily hate myself for them. But I'll shush about it, as I'm sure I've talked about what they are on multiple different posts before~

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Yeah, I don't think anyone has been spared from regret or shame. The real question is how susceptible you are to regret and shame and how you process these feelings or the events that led up to them.

If there's anything I've learned about negative feelings is that you will only invite more suffering by trying to reject such feelings. As uncomfortable as it sounds, let them permeate you. Let them shape you. Let them change you. In a counter-intuitive way, you'll grow from doing so and you won't suffer as much from it moving forward.

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I feel a lot of regret lately.

Many reasons, but I could pinpoint the 2 that get to me the most right now.

The first one (and that I've been dragging for 4 years now) is from an old relationship I had. My ex fiancé was a darling and all when she wanted to, but at some point things went south and she cheated on me around this time of year (early november, actually) AND she let it linger until march of the next year (I was saving for the ring, lol). I regret things I did and things I didn't do and even things I wish I had done (like dropping that relationship earlier which I didn't). From there I did things I'm not proud of and hurt innocent people on the way.

The second one is a recent thing. I just lost a close friend over dumb things and he really must hate me like to pretty much erase me from his life (like he did two weeks ago). I regret some things I said and things I thought and felt but... eh, there's nothing to be done at this point given he literally blocked me completely (phone number too). I guess mopping about it won't do any good to me. He's happier now without my presence hanging with his other friends and I'm trying to find a way to just move on and make new friends. "You're worth a lot more than you think" he told me. Ha.

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Regret is an old companion of mine. I used to have all kinds of regrets about what I had or (more often) what I had not done in with my life. The thought that time was running out and I was failing to accomplish my goals used to be crippling to me, and a constant fixture of my life from my mid to late teens. The limits of time were an illusion and I realized that as I got older. Accomplishments came in time and I found out they’re not all going to come when I pull the velvet rope and demand them. With age came perspective and I stopped living with constant regrets. Shame is a useful emotion and, while not an enjoyable one, it teaches and shows us that we’re not beyond all hope. I have things I’m ashamed of, but I try to take something positive from them rather than negative.  

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