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Rewriting "A Royal Problem" from Season 7


YoungJustice12334

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I kind of liked the episode when I first watched it, but the more I did I noticed the problems with it more. 4 Big problems to be exact:

1.) The Princesses didn't act like immortal demigods but teenagers with their disagreements -and whole crux of the episode, was just stupid.

2.) Starlight Glimmer was a pointless and forced addition to the story just to promote her because DHX still doesn't know how to do it otherwise

3.) Starlight's magic use on the Princesses was immoral, without their consent, and she didn't even know if it would work and got away with it with NO CONSEQUENCES.

4.) The 'Daybreaker' scenes were cool at first but completely pointless the more you watch it.

So if there's ONE BIG Change I would make to "A Royal Problem" To fix the episode, it would be this:

Making the episode a flashback to Luna and Celestia's early days as Princesses.

The story starts off with Spike barfing or simply receiving a message from Princess Celestia for Twilight Sparkle. Twilight is shocked to read that Celestia and Luna are apparently having "A royal problem" Which title drops the episode's name. Twilight flies quickly to Canterlot in a panic only to find the Royal Sisters sitting side by side as though it seems there is no problem at first. Oh, and I guess maybe Spike can tag along as well for the story.

Princess Luna takes notice of Twilight's once panicked and now deeply confused expression, so Luna says to Celestia that she's right at how fun it is to see Twilight frazzled over nothing. Celestia chuckles and then quickly apologizes to Twilight for getting her worked up, explaining that the "Royal Problem" was just that She and Luna remember how an important incident from their early days as Princesses and how it went down differently than they expected, and they can't agree.

The Flashback episode would also involve Starswirl the Bearded, and twilight is a Starswirl fangirl, So Luna & Celestia thought she would be able to help them set one of the stories straight.

The next scene would then cut to the Flashback where at the time well before Luna's downfall as Nightmare Moon, they were just teenagers and only now newly crowned Princesses of Equestria. From here the story would play out similarly like the actual episode, except Starlight IS NOT Involved and it's A Flashback to Celestia and Luna's Early Days before Twilight and The Mane 6 were introduced.

From here we would see how their behavior makes sense as their immature teenagers at the time and not full-on mature adults just yet. Teenage Celestia is shown to be a bit grouchy that Luna sometimes gave her the cold shoulder, and Luna is shown to be A bit angsty because Celestia can sometimes not appreciate what Luna does for her.

At first, Both sisters don't talk to one another, but them being Teenagers & Royals who at some points HAVE to talk to one another eventually do, they start off at a nice Conversation at first but only to eventually have it ruined and come to verbal blows that get them both charging magic at one another.

However, before they can attack each other, Starswirl The Bearded, who was younger and their teacher at that time In The Flashback enters the scene and puts a chokehold on both their magic, scolding them for their misconduct. Celestia and Luna try to explain their sides of the story to Starswirl, but both sisters end up interrupting each other and charge their magic again.

During the brawl, Starswirl just stares into the camera with a "Are you, Serious, right now?!" kind of expression, putting a hoof to his face in frustration. He tries verbally quelling the Princesses, but that doesn't work, and Celestia manages to lodge a magic bolt at Luna. Starswirl deflects it, but Luna is shocked an angered further, getting her own shot at her older sister.

Starswirl tries using his magic hold on them again, but alicorn magic is more powerful than any unicorn's, so it doesn't last. Stuff around them starts breaking due to the squabble and Starswirl has had enough. As he declares that that is enough, he casts a spell that switches the cutie marks.

Anyway, Both sisters are shocked and horrified, So Celestia starts to complain that she has an ink-blot on her plot and Luna that the sunny mark adorning her flank looks all "wrong". Starswirl explains that since neither of them seems to appreciate the other, they're going to spend a day in each other's cutie marks, both Princesses spending a day doing the other's duties. So that means we don't have to rely on Starlight to make this episode great and She doesn't have to steal the spotlight after all.

Neither of the teenage princesses is happy about this, but they don't have any choice in the matter, so they "Humph!" grumpily at one another.

Luna thinks that Celi's job as the Day Princess is easy because all she does is smile, wave, and give a few orders, but of course, finds out her big sister has a much more complicated day on average than she thought, and soon enough her sister has to come to bail her out after a series of mishaps which involve an angry Yakking and a fed-up Gryphon Queen. Which of course Teenage Celestia rubs in Luna's face.

Meanwhile, it's the same deal for Celestia when she thinks that all Luna does is play around in other ponies' dreams all night, but soon discovers that one does not simply just play around in somepony else's dreams as she messes up some other pony's dream, and as she tries to fix it the dream it accidentally turns into a nightmare. Worse still, it evolves into Celestia's own nightmare. Teenage Luna then steps in to bail her sister out and rubs it in her face just as her sister did to her.

Starswirl then steps in to ask them what they learned, and both begrudgingly say that they were wrong about each other and apologize, both of them letting their guard down a bit and asking each other about their experiences and then Starswirl switches the cutie marks back to their proper owners.

Twilight has trouble believing the story, bringing up how it doesn't seem to fit that the sisters would settle their differences just like that, given their history. Twilight then realizes the implications of what she just said and tries to apologize, but Celestia stops her, saying that sometimes the lessons a pony learns are regrettably forgotten and have to be learned again, sometimes the hard way.

Present Day Princess Luna then says that after Starswirl mysteriously vanished they found that taking on their responsibilities without a teacher was a lot more difficult than expected, and this led to a rift forming between them that would eventually lead to Luna descending into Nightmare Moon, which started the events of the series.

Celestia then says that this is another reason why they decided to tell Twilight the story, it's because they needed an anchor to help them stay in place which is Twilight herself. Starswirl was that anchor in the past but Twilight and her friends became those anchors when Nightmare Moon returned, making them both come back down to earth in some way.

Celestia says that that's one of the main reasons why she sent Twilight on an assignment to make friends in the first place, not just for the Elements of Harmony, but so that Twilight will one day be more in need of an anchor of her own more than ever, and so she one day falls into the shoes of the Royal Sisters, and now she has her circle of friends to keep her grounded should Celestia and Luna not be around when the time comes.

Tearfully, Twilight and Spike thank the Princesses and heads home to write this all down and remembers it and The Episode ends from there.

Edited by YoungJustice12334
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I think A Royal Problem was a fast paced well executed episode, but it also suffered from it's nature, which is that it is a fan service episode and heavily inspired by fanfics. The Daybreaker scene is the prime example of this.

I didn't had problem with the princesses depiction in the episode itself simply because they have already lost divinity and dignity long time ago, but that doesn't mean that I like it like that. This problem is more prominent in the episode Between Dark and Dawn, which the sisters act even more like teenagers and their special position as princesses (or ex-princesses) doesn't get reflected and added to the equation. I get that the episode tried to show that they are also very human and just like us, but yes and no to that. They are princesses. They are different in that sense. They are also adults. At this point, Princess Cadance is the only one who acts like one. This is no different to Rarity and Sweetie Belle fighting. It would be more interesting and more funny if they were acting like adult princesses and reflect the specific and special position that they are in. They barely showed them acting like princesses, so if they have shown enough of that in previous episodes, then this might worked.

I don't have a problem with Starlight in the episode itself, but I've been having a problem with her long time ago. So her being in the episode isn't a problem, herself is a big problem in the whole franchise. The episode starts with a vague premise of who Starlight is, and that's how the show wants us to think of her, but she actually ins't like that. If this episode is the first MLP episode you watched, it might not be a problem, but if you have seen all the previous episodes, something about Starlight might feel wrong. Somebody said a simple solution to this, replace Starlight with Discord.

And come on. Starlight gets away with everything including deprogramming, stripping off someone's human rights, slavery, harassment, mind control, several world endings for the sake of bringing misery, a threat against royal authority, violence against children, and the worst of them all, being a completely boring character.

I think there are positive changes on your episode, but I think episodes about the past are less powerful than episodes about current events in general. The inclusion of Celestia and Luna's teenage years and Starswirl could cause the similar problem I mentioned, relying heavy on fan services. But that doesn't mean it can't be done right. I also think the connection between past and present is a little rough.

What happened between Luna and Celestia is in the past, and we kinda all know what happened. So if the episode just proceeded with that nuance (without completely relying on that or flooding with awkward past references), I think it would work just fine. The two princesses trying to remain calm, but trying to recover from their past is an important aspect that never got dealt within the episode. (which could have been fine with Celestia forgiving Luna at Season 1 episode 2, but if they wanted to delve deeper into their relationship after that, they should have been prepared better) For example, there are certain dynamics between ex-partner thieves in various fictions, which the audiences are able to catch up their past only by their nuances, and that might work with Celestia and Luna.

Edited by Sepul-Coloratura
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While the episode could have been better, I actually liked the behaviour of Celestia and Luna, since it made them seem more human and less like immortal demigods. To be totally honest they don't appear that often in the show, so I did like this appearance.  Starlight did have too much of a spotlight and could had less of an appearance in the episode but she's really the only pony that can manipulate cutie marks,(Twilight has probably read up about it herself but we don't know for sure), so it makes sense that she's the one to switch the cutie marks.

That being said, she does seem to get away with a lot of deeds that should have landed her a punishment, but this is a show about friendship, so I guess the lack of punishments makes sense. 

Your version could work, but I honestly preferred the part where Nightmare Moon fought Daybreaker, and I wouldn't want to cut that part out. It's essentially two of the most powerful beings in the ponyverse battling it out :ButtercupLaugh:. All it's missing is Discord trolling everyone. 

 

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1 hour ago, Sepul-Coloratura said:

The Daybreaker scene is the prime example of this.

Not sure how true that is - while Daybreaker wasn't show canon, it WAS a card in the collectable card game.

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1 hour ago, Sepul-Coloratura said:

They are princesses. They are different in that sense. They are also adults.

A lot of siblings revert to fillyhood behaviour patterns when interacting - even as adults (there is also Celestia's behaviour in Horse Play to consider here - another reason to revert is when you get a shot at a fillyhood dream, as Celestia did here, but you could map that same behavour to how Luna acts when she finally gets a chance at a holiday break)

As the larger, horse-sized "adults" in the show, you would expect more mature behaviour from the princesses; presumably for that reason, the other ponies are "young adult" and meant to not act entirely maturely, so that the target audience of preteen girls can more readily identify with them.  But all adults will revert when there is no need to maintain an "adult" facade; look at any group of girls on a "girly night out" or "hen night" for example. And that's a good thing - to "adult" and be staid and serious all the time is the exception, not the rule.

1 hour ago, Sepul-Coloratura said:

Starlight gets away with everything

Pretty much true; Starlight's "redemption" is almost completely punishment-less; she is forced by Twi to return to the Village to apologise to those she wronged, and then as far as I can tell is instantly forgiven and doesn't have to do ANYTHING to make it up to them - but the whole law and punishment thing seems a bit off in Equestria as a whole though.  There are no obvious police, courts, or anything similar; the Guards are useless and ceremonial, the Wonderbolts have apparently no role other than as a display team (contrasting with the time of the Pillars, where clearly there are separate unicorn, pegasus and earth pony military forces)

As a strong, powerful mare though, Twilight seems to be a defacto authority figure; even as early as S1's Boast Busters, Snips and Snails acknowledge their wrongdoing and submit to her to assign their punishment.  After the S5 finale, Starlight also submits to Twilight's authority (despite the clearly admitted fact that Starlight is both more magically powerful and tactically a better fighter, because Twi talked her down) and states that she was "defeated" by Twilight, so will accept whatever punishment Twi assigns her. 

After the S5 finale, I feel sorry for Starlight, as no doubt I am meant to - Confucius famously said "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves" and after her defeat by the Mane 6 (actually, by Fluttershy; who as usual is stepping up to the plate when needed) her only remaining goal is to undo that defeat. By being forced to face the reality that her actions at the Village were truly not going to give her back what she lost when Sunburst left Sire's Hollow, she was utterly destroyed, and had both nowhere to go, and nothing she could do when she got there.

So, new start, new season, new role, new manestyle. 

Trixie Lunamoon by contrast is a LOT different. Despite her repeated defeats by Twi, she refuses to acknowledge Twi as the dominant mare, but instead sees her as a rival (again, there is a signficant difference in power here, but not in Trixie's favour; Twi was right to worry that Trixie was using her pupil in a dominance play, but as usual was too wrapped up in her attempts to win approval from Celestia to not mess things up even more) but we are wandering away from the point here.

Starlight is during S6 and S7 much more submissive due to her having to reinvent herself after the events of S5, but in this case Twi's assertation that a fight between Celestia and Luna must NOT happen again reenforced her own (often regrettable) tendency to use her magic to solve problems they aren't always the best solution for (admittedly, Twi has shown the same issue; it may be a Unicorn thing). So yeah, it was an immature argument between Celestia and Luna - both clearly seeking the approval and acknowledgement of the other, and resentful that it was being withheld - and in such situations the "switching places" gag is so common it is a trope. But equally, the issue is that the problems that led to Nightmare Moon never WERE addressed by the princesses, and while you could argue Starlight pushing this confrontation was not the best approach, a LOT of home truths came out in the argument;

Luna (especially since her return) had been putting a LOT of work into her night patrols; we only really get to see her interactions with the CMC, but if you scale that to the many thousands of ponies in Equestria, she must have a LOT of interventions every night to deal with (and also see a whole bunch of dreams and wishes; the Empress Derpy bubble is adorable). She clearly still resents that the public acknowledgement and praise/adoration goes to her sister, despite her hard work, but chose to deal with it by continually punishing herself for feeling that way (the Tantabus) rather than working though it with her sister, and recognising the relentless workload being supreme but benevolent ruler of an entire kindom was placing on her.

Equally, her sister didn't understand the lonely, hard work Luna has taken upon herself. Even in the midst of all this chaos, Luna's first thought is to protect and nurture Starlight's recovery, and worry about the damage the dream is doing to Starlight's psyche instead of her own and sister's position. Now, in an unfamiliar realm, Celestia acknowledges her sister's workload, as Luna does for hers, and receives support and reinforcement from her, allowing her to conquer the fear demons summoned by Starlight.

Daybreaker also requires some thought; Starlight herself knows too well what it feels like to lead by fear and intimidation (as she states in the S6 finale) and may only be projecting onto Celestia, but Celestia's own final statement, that Daybreaker shall never exist again, leads me to wonder if this is actually a fair reflection of Celestia's own inner demons. (also.. We have nightmare moon, daybreaker, midnight sparkle... what is Sunset's demonic form called?)

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  • 2 weeks later...

A Royal Problem is ranked one of the best, if not the best of the entire series, just because it is putting the gods of the show (Princesses with authority over sun and moon) in a normal sibling drama. I don't think it can be rewritten without losing its appeal as one of the best episodes.

Instead it would be better to have more episodes focusing on the Princesses, making more episodes good instead of just average.

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Well, its my favorite episode in the series so I wouldn't change a thing, maybe only some bits of the dialog(like luna knowing daybreakers name or celestia behaving like its the first time she raised the moon, but both are very minor and its easy to justify them) but even then its a stretch. The episode develops the royal sisters a lot (isn't thats exactly what fans wanted to see?) starlight had some development and twilight had one of the best twilightings in the show(lesson zero's is the best).

We got to see NMM again and of course daybreaker was awesome. Some bits of the dialog were amazing, from the dynamic between the sisters, the whole thing between starlight and stressed out twilight and the dream sequence was so good, its was very cleverly done, from the pancakes telling starlight what celestia told her("I care"), the flowers, and the ballerina, lunas nightmare and the battle itself. 

Plus, the expressions were really good and not over the top(like in some instances in season 9) and felt natural. 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/31/2020 at 2:28 AM, Sepul-Coloratura said:

I think A Royal Problem was a fast paced well executed episode, but it also suffered from it's nature, which is that it is a fan service episode and heavily inspired by fanfics. The Daybreaker scene is the prime example of this.

I didn't had problem with the princesses depiction in the episode itself simply because they have already lost divinity and dignity long time ago, but that doesn't mean that I like it like that. This problem is more prominent in the episode Between Dark and Dawn, which the sisters act even more like teenagers and their special position as princesses (or ex-princesses) doesn't get reflected and added to the equation. I get that the episode tried to show that they are also very human and just like us, but yes and no to that. They are princesses. They are different in that sense. They are also adults. At this point, Princess Cadance is the only one who acts like one. This is no different to Rarity and Sweetie Belle fighting. It would be more interesting and more funny if they were acting like adult princesses and reflect the specific and special position that they are in. They barely showed them acting like princesses, so if they have shown enough of that in previous episodes, then this might worked.

I don't have a problem with Starlight in the episode itself, but I've been having a problem with her long time ago. So her being in the episode isn't a problem, herself is a big problem in the whole franchise. The episode starts with a vague premise of who Starlight is, and that's how the show wants us to think of her, but she actually ins't like that. If this episode is the first MLP episode you watched, it might not be a problem, but if you have seen all the previous episodes, something about Starlight might feel wrong. Somebody said a simple solution to this, replace Starlight with Discord.

And come on. Starlight gets away with everything including deprogramming, stripping off someone's human rights, slavery, harassment, mind control, several world endings for the sake of bringing misery, a threat against royal authority, violence against children, and the worst of them all, being a completely boring character.

I think there are positive changes on your episode, but I think episodes about the past are less powerful than episodes about current events in general. The inclusion of Celestia and Luna's teenage years and Starswirl could cause the similar problem I mentioned, relying heavy on fan services. But that doesn't mean it can't be done right. I also think the connection between past and present is a little rough.

What happened between Luna and Celestia is in the past, and we kinda all know what happened. So if the episode just proceeded with that nuance (without completely relying on that or flooding with awkward past references), I think it would work just fine. The two princesses trying to remain calm, but trying to recover from their past is an important aspect that never got dealt within the episode. (which could have been fine with Celestia forgiving Luna at Season 1 episode 2, but if they wanted to delve deeper into their relationship after that, they should have been prepared better) For example, there are certain dynamics between ex-partner thieves in various fictions, which the audiences are able to catch up their past only by their nuances, and that might work with Celestia and Luna.

I'm glad you like the way I wrote it, but what should I change about my rewritten version then? I'm just asking.

On 3/31/2020 at 5:38 AM, Princess of Hearts 💛🧡 said:

While the episode could have been better, I actually liked the behaviour of Celestia and Luna, since it made them seem more human and less like immortal demigods. To be totally honest they don't appear that often in the show, so I did like this appearance.  Starlight did have too much of a spotlight and could had less of an appearance in the episode but she's really the only pony that can manipulate cutie marks,(Twilight has probably read up about it herself but we don't know for sure), so it makes sense that she's the one to switch the cutie marks.

That being said, she does seem to get away with a lot of deeds that should have landed her a punishment, but this is a show about friendship, so I guess the lack of punishments makes sense. 

Your version could work, but I honestly preferred the part where Nightmare Moon fought Daybreaker, and I wouldn't want to cut that part out. It's essentially two of the most powerful beings in the ponyverse battling it out :ButtercupLaugh:. All it's missing is Discord trolling everyone. 

 

I see what you're saying, but here's the benefits of the changes I made:

1.) The Princesses don't act like immature teenagers in present day because they're immature teenagers in the past.
2.) The cutie mark switch spell is used by a competent magic user who actually knows exactly what he's doing. 
3.) Starswirl is introduced properly for the first time in the series and He's depicted as wise an effective but also a touch vulnerable and actually enjoyable to watch.
4.) Starswirl is properly set up for his return in 'Shadow Play' 
5.) We actually see the parental connection between Starswirl and the Princesses 
6.) We get more development for the princesses that doesn't come at the expense of their integrity or competence 
7.) Luna's dream job isn't undermined but has just as much importance as Celestia's duties 
8.) Celestia imparts her wisdom to her former star student rather than failing to miss the obvious 
9.) Starlight isn't unnecessary forced into the narrative

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The episode is one of my favorites but it's not without its flaws. I don't have a problem with how the Princesses act during the episode because it is how sisters act sometimes. They know how to get under each other's skins. One problem is that we don't see much interaction between the sisters before this episode. So, we don't get any hints that something is going on behind the scenes. The whole problem comes out of nowhere. Plus, Celestia was never given much of a personality beyond being the wise sage. Some more episodes with the two of them together would have been helpful.

I don't have a problem with Starlight being in the episode because she's acting like the devil's advocate. She can see both sides of the situation and come up with a solution. If it had been Twilight, then she would have been in Celestia's corner from the start and that could have pushed Luna even further away. 

The explanation of Starlight's spell did get hand-waved away. The writers just say that her magic ability is tied to her emotions so she can do pretty much anything. Twilight was shown to actually have limits. Plus, how the spell ended before the time was up at the end didn't make any sense.

As to your point about Starlight not facing any consequences for her actions, I agree with you there.

Daybreaker could have been more interesting if it was a manifestation of Celestia's fears of what would happen if she lost control and turned evil. In my head canon, using all of the elements of harmony on NMM caused her to absorb some of their power, augmenting her own. A side affect was her hair changing from pink to multi-colored. Celestia had to learn to control and suppress the powers. A reason, I think, why she lost to Chrysalis.

But anyway, I do like your idea for the rewrite. It ties in nicely with Luna becoming NMM. Maybe have Twilight arrive and the sisters are arguing. They tell her that they've always argued over things since they were younger. Twilight asks them how they resolved their differences before. Celestia or Luna brings up that Starswirl was there to help them out. Then proceed with the flashback.

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6 hours ago, Twilight Luna said:

The episode is one of my favorites but it's not without its flaws. I don't have a problem with how the Princesses act during the episode because it is how sisters act sometimes. They know how to get under each other's skins. One problem is that we don't see much interaction between the sisters before this episode. So, we don't get any hints that something is going on behind the scenes. The whole problem comes out of nowhere. Plus, Celestia was never given much of a personality beyond being the wise sage. Some more episodes with the two of them together would have been helpful.

I don't have a problem with Starlight being in the episode because she's acting like the devil's advocate. She can see both sides of the situation and come up with a solution. If it had been Twilight, then she would have been in Celestia's corner from the start and that could have pushed Luna even further away. 

The explanation of Starlight's spell did get hand-waved away. The writers just say that her magic ability is tied to her emotions so she can do pretty much anything. Twilight was shown to actually have limits. Plus, how the spell ended before the time was up at the end didn't make any sense.

As to your point about Starlight not facing any consequences for her actions, I agree with you there.

Daybreaker could have been more interesting if it was a manifestation of Celestia's fears of what would happen if she lost control and turned evil. In my head canon, using all of the elements of harmony on NMM caused her to absorb some of their power, augmenting her own. A side affect was her hair changing from pink to multi-colored. Celestia had to learn to control and suppress the powers. A reason, I think, why she lost to Chrysalis.

But anyway, I do like your idea for the rewrite. It ties in nicely with Luna becoming NMM. Maybe have Twilight arrive and the sisters are arguing. They tell her that they've always argued over things since they were younger. Twilight asks them how they resolved their differences before. Celestia or Luna brings up that Starswirl was there to help them out. Then proceed with the flashback.

I 'm glad you agree with my points and I see what you're saying. Also, here's the benefits of the changes I made:

1.) The Princesses don't act like immature teenagers in present day because they're immature teenagers in the past.
2.) The cutie mark switch spell is used by a competent magic user who actually knows exactly what he's doing. 
3.) Starswirl is introduced properly for the first time in the series and He's depicted as wise an effective but also a touch vulnerable and actually enjoyable to watch.
4.) Starswirl is properly set up for his return in "Shadow Play"
5.) We actually see the parental connection between Starswirl and The Royal Sisters 
6.) We get more development for the princesses that doesn't come at the expense of their integrity or competence 
7.) Luna's dream job isn't undermined but has just as much importance as Celestia's duties 
8.) Princess Celestia imparts her wisdom to her former star student rather than failing to miss the obvious 
9.) Starlight isn't unnecessary forced into the narrative

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11 hours ago, YoungJustice12334 said:

I'm glad you like the way I wrote it, but what should I change about my rewritten version then? I'm just asking.

I think collection of different pasts can be little rough. It would feel disconnected to put them in one or two episodes, and several flashbacks can be messy.

What happens now isn't urgent or intriguing enough. The Last Problem has a similar structure, but in that case, the present is everything.

Season 4 premiere's memory potion was pretty contrived and pointless, and your rewrite unfortunately shares some of those aspects if you know what I mean.

Just make the episode take place in the past, not a flashback. That's it. Treat it like a complete standalone episode and tell the story like the audience never watched an MLP episode before. Then enjoy writing about the princesses' early days and put Starswirl all the way you want. And at the end of the episode the princesses leaen their friendship /sisterhood leason.

I believe the best way to write the Nightmare Moon story is to not write it. So I don't have an advice about that.

I also think even it's a hoax, the Daybreaker scene does have a meaning to the plot. It's to show the character's deepest fear and deliver the dread of how it ends up having a dysfunctional family. So if the princesses has to tell all those stories, something intriguing has to happen now.

Edited by Sepul-Coloratura
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1 hour ago, Sepul-Coloratura said:

I think collection of different pasts can be little rough. It would feel disconnected to put them in one or two episodes, and several flashbacks can be messy.

What happens now isn't urgent or intriguing enough. The Last Problem has a similar structure, but in that case, the present is everything.

Season 4 premiere's memory potion was pretty contrived and pointless, and your rewrite unfortunately shares some of those aspects if you know what I mean.

Just make the episode take place in the past, not a flashback. That's it. Treat it like a complete standalone episode and tell the story like the audience never watched an MLP episode before. Then enjoy writing about the princesses' early days and put Starswirl all the way you want. And at the end of the episode the princesses leaen their friendship /sisterhood leason.

I believe the best way to write the Nightmare Moon story is to not write it. So I don't have an advice about that.

I also think even it's a hoax, the Daybreaker scene does have a meaning to the plot. It's to show the character's deepest fear and deliver the dread of how it ends up having a dysfunctional family. So if the princesses has to tell all those stories, something intriguing has to happen now.

Yeah, the memory potion was just a big plot device that Zecora just so happened to have with her. The way the flashbacks were done, it caused some problems for me. How long was it from when Starswirl disappeared to when Princesses found the tree? How did the Princesses know what the was when Starswirl didn’t know when the seeds would become? How long had Discord taken over Equestria for? Celestia said that it had been over a thousand years since they last saw Starswirl. 


I think that a short movie about the rise and fall of Nightmare Moon would have been nice. It would have covered the sisters when they were younger up to when Celestia sent Luna to the moon.

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8 hours ago, Sepul-Coloratura said:

I think collection of different pasts can be little rough. It would feel disconnected to put them in one or two episodes, and several flashbacks can be messy.

What happens now isn't urgent or intriguing enough. The Last Problem has a similar structure, but in that case, the present is everything.

Season 4 premiere's memory potion was pretty contrived and pointless, and your rewrite unfortunately shares some of those aspects if you know what I mean.

Just make the episode take place in the past, not a flashback. That's it. Treat it like a complete standalone episode and tell the story like the audience never watched an MLP episode before. Then enjoy writing about the princesses' early days and put Starswirl all the way you want. And at the end of the episode the princesses leaen their friendship /sisterhood leason.

I believe the best way to write the Nightmare Moon story is to not write it. So I don't have an advice about that.

I also think even it's a hoax, the Daybreaker scene does have a meaning to the plot. It's to show the character's deepest fear and deliver the dread of how it ends up having a dysfunctional family. So if the princesses has to tell all those stories, something intriguing has to happen now.

I agree with your criticisms the more I think about it, and I guess I'll stick with my rewritten version of A Royal Problem being a standalone episode.

The Part where you say "Season 4 premiere's memory potion was pretty contrived and pointless, and your rewrite unfortunately shares some of those aspects if you know what I mean" Is something I can understand looking back at Season 4's opening Two-Parter.

Would it be better if Season 4's premiere had Discord taking Zecora's role? I thought of this idea because Her only purpose in the episode was to give Twilight a potion that allowed her to travel through time and explore past events which Discord can already do if I recall. So Discord could help the Mane 6 learn more about what's happening to the Everfree Forest in Part 1. As for Part 2, It can mostly remain the same, but with Discord giving Twilight good advice and later revealing the truth behind the vines. What do you think of that change idea?

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On 4/26/2020 at 1:28 PM, Twilight Luna said:

Yeah, the memory potion was just a big plot device that Zecora just so happened to have with her. The way the flashbacks were done, it caused some problems for me. How long was it from when Starswirl disappeared to when Princesses found the tree? How did the Princesses know what the was when Starswirl didn’t know when the seeds would become? How long had Discord taken over Equestria for? Celestia said that it had been over a thousand years since they last saw Starswirl. 


I think that a short movie about the rise and fall of Nightmare Moon would have been nice. It would have covered the sisters when they were younger up to when Celestia sent Luna to the moon.

And the fact apparently NO ONE was around when Celestia and NMM fought in the flashback.
So that whole flashback thing felt like it was missing a lot of pieces in a way.

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17 minutes ago, nightshroud96 said:

And the fact apparently NO ONE was around when Celestia and NMM fought in the flashback.
So that whole flashback thing felt like it was missing a lot of pieces in a way.

Plus, the fight scene was done so much better in Lullaby for a Princess.

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