sports 2021 NFL Season

[ZiggWheelsManning 7,293]

A new NFL season is upon us ponies.  The bad news is that COVID has grasped its filthy hands onto football for a second season.  Worsening matters, we have variants that are putting stains on it  The League has also enforced strict vaccine rules, some harsh enough to make teams forfeit games if even a single player gets sick  Let’s rundown excitement and mayhem of all 32 teams, shall we? 

NFC North

Starting with the Green Bay Packers, fans were driven nuts when Aaron Rodgers hosted several episodes of Jeopardy!, took a vacation to Hawaii, played golf and grew long hair.  The fans feared in apes when Rodgers didn’t show up in involuntary team workouts, three-day minicamp and that he might leave the team.  Rest assured Packers fans, Rodgers is committed to play in Green Bay this season, “Michael Jordan:  Last Dance” style.  The Packers just need to live up to this emotional story.  The Chicago Bears are heading in apes to a quarterback controversy.  Old man Andy Dalton is the starter.  The rookie Justin Fields is stuck sitting and learning on the sidelines.  The Bears may not even remain in Soldier Field after this.  The Minnesota Vikings maybe stuck in average and destined to crack open another bottle of depressing drink.  HC Dan Campbell got a serving of QB Jared Goff to be buried in misery of Detroit Lions 

AFC North

Bones to pick in this division and first concern is the Baltimore Ravens.  They have running back injury bug tying up their wings.  Not gonna fall for positive vibes the Cleveland Browns have.  Que to the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Another glorious helping of grumpy old Big Ben.  Got front row seats to a tasty helping of Days of Our Steelers  Small hope that QB Joe Burrow can fully recover and lead the Cincinnati Bengals out of the sewer jungle. 

NFC East

Second year under Ron Rivera, the WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM is beefed with a stunning defense.  But that’s not all, that magic guy with the beard, Ryan Fitzpatrick is their QB.  Next is Dallas, where DEM COWBOYS booked a sload of cameras from Hard Knocks.  Funny words and glorious sweat in detail on the field.  Are we getting locker room episodes for this?  Now for the Giants, just because HC Joe Judge was ticked off that he couldn’t get to the playoffs doesn’t mean his QB, Daniel Jones will fire on cylinders.  Funny DERP season as usual, top the fact that its players are fighting each other.  Finally, Philadelphia, QB Jalen Hurts is taking flight with Eagles that may crash into some graves 

AFC East

The Buffalo Bills put together hope of clinching their division and being huge playoff contenders.  One step away from getting back to the Super Bowl, as long as they don’t move to Austin, Texas  Things are looking up for the Miami Dolphins.  QB Tua Tagovailoa is taking full leadership of the team.  That one pop song from the Hotline Miami soundtrack is playing.  Sweetie Belle has setup a giftshop selling Dolphins Jerseys with her face on it  Very happy time in this division with colorful rainbows and sunshine that will be around many years to

WARNINGRED ALERTDIVISION RIVAL INCOMINGTAKE COVERHIDE IN THE BUNKEREVIL COACH

Sweet Celestia No!  Football’s Evil Empire, the New England Patriots, are loaded with new weapons, Imperial Star Destroyers and missiles.  And Bill Belichick has finally found the Pats’ Kylo Ren, rookie QB Mac Jones.  Pain and suffering enforced in their tyranny!  But the bright side to this, JETS CRASH AND BURN 

NFC South

The G.O.A.T. went to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and got them their second Super Bowl title.  Now Tom Brady has to defend the title, lightsaber down the Patriots and lock-in a better winning season to clinch their division.  With Matt Rhule coaching in his second year, the Carolina Panthers are sure to be thorns in the Saints’ flesh as long as Sam Darnold doesn’t goof up  Now Orleans looks doomed with the Famous Jameis Turnover Bakery.  We finally head south to Georgia where fresh graves have been dug for all Falcons.  Dark Times for Dead Dirty Birds and Josh Rosen 

AFC South

Heartache because COVID knows how to hit the Tennessee Titans hard  But they should recover because they have onboard one dangerous dude, WR Julio Jones  The Colts have Carson Wentz on their buffet, but he and T.Y. Hilton have been struck with injury bug.  On to Florida, since they have rookie QB Trevor Lawrence leading them, the Jacksonville Jaguars should be able to finally bust out of their butt-smelling cage.  Sorry Houston Texans, you guys are stuck in your laughable muck 

NFC West

Great job San Francisco 49ers, you got control panels to make the best of a quarterback controversy with Jimmy Garoppolo and the rookie Trey Lance.  George Kittle is gonna be tortured over which of them will fill the resume as his best bro.  Second is the Los Angeles Rams.  Sean McVay is cranking up fame and fortune off old man Matthew Stafford.  The Rams hope they will be the second team to play the Super Bowl in their home stadium.  Hefty worry on all levels for the Seattle Seahawks if Russell Wilson can’t survive on the running game he wants.  Words for the Arizona Cardinals?  Be prepared to fly into asteroid fields 

AFC West

Having to tolerate cobwebs last season, the new Las Vegas NFL stadium will be loaded with a full-fledged crowd cheering THE RAIDERS  QB controversy was expected for the Broncos.  Terry Bridgewater and Drew Lock taking the football field of Orange Crush.  Both these teams hopefully can deliver long overdue kryptonite on the Chiefs following that bloated hangover.  And the Chargers can die in their own filth for all I care 

What teams do you ponies think will endure massive success this year? 

Edited September 7, 2021 by ZiggWheelsManning

[TheRockARooster 47,228]

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Edited January 20, 2022 by TheRockARooster

[Patty Thundersnow 4,129]

Just hoping DA BEARS get Justin Fields on the field fast. Andy Dalton is not the solution at QB.

[ZiggWheelsManning 7,293]

We’re at the halfway point of the NFL season all ponies, and Princess Twilight Sparkle is filling the void of Football Doctor to conduct a checkup on all 32 teams. 

NFC North 

Topping the list, the Green Bay Packers.  Unbelievable, COVID has gotten its filthy hands on our Bad Man, Aaron Rodgers, who refuses the COVID vaccine.  Meaning he’s denied a showdown against Patrick Mahomes  Next is the Minnesota Vikings, HC Mike Zimmer and QB Kirk Cousins are bogged with old man fever  We can assume that QB Justin Fields has a plan to fully dominate without HC Matt Nagy helming the Chicago Bears.  A blood leaking crate of Dead Detroit Lions and creepy music. 

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens staying alive with crazy comebacks to wow us and spill our popcorn  Pittsburgh Steelers started as wimps but are hitting the engines on all cylinders.  This doesn’t help that The Tree is in happy-cranky-old-man-mode  Good playing Cleveland Browns, but I won’t fall for your journey of hopes.  The amazing creature that is still stuck in its jungle of poop is the Cincinnati Bengals  

NFC East 

Dallas Cowboys doing good, but they can’t print total domination on Florida and Colorado.  Dak Prescott maybe having health problems again  Philadelphia Eagles are staying with their fair share of crashing into graves.  HC Joe Judge and the New York Giants derped early, but are showing serious business  For those that are doing bad, the WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM is trapped with toilet loads of mayhem.  First being QB Ryan Fitzpatrick is out with an injury, demolishing all hope they have for a 2^nd playoff appearance.  Second being the Feds raid their offices and find loads of very bad emails.  Commissioner Roger Goodell can’t have all those emails revealed to the public eye, can he? 

AFC East

The heroes we expect in New York to win our hearts is the Buffalo Bills.  But the wheels on their wagons show a panic condition of falling off.  Worse news, the New England Patriots and their Star Destroyer fleet are gaining up on you.  The New York Jets have shown flight with missiles to fire on the wagons in a separate route.  That in turn reveals Sweetie Belle in tears on a ruined sidewalk with heartbreaking damage and debris that’s engulfed her Miami Dolphins gift shop. 

NFC South 

Well Tom Brady, you and your pirate crew of Tampa Bay Buccaneers are keeping it together better than I expected you guys would.  Being how impressive of a journey they are having without Drew Brees, the New Orleans saints are holding on for survival, but lost to some dirty birds.  Speaking of dirty birds, the Atlanta Falcons have 4 wins so far.  But it’s going to be a saddened death field flying into the season’s second half.  Carolina Panthers, what’s wrong with you?  Dirt and massive flooding are filling up your jungle that you can’t swim. 

AFC South

While dominating all forces on the field, only to lose KING Derrick Henry to injury, the Tennessee Titans call up another KING, Adrian Pederson, to help.  As much as I don’t trust management that’s running the Indianapolis Colts, Carson Wentz knows how to pull off wacky comebacks to win.  While their head coach acted out of sync with the important stuff, the Jacksonville Jaguars are trying to keep their jungle and bathroom clean  Sorry Houston Texans, your steer mascot just took a big flavored dump on your football field.  To put in words a friendlier extent than what The Tree would, the Dark Legion demands more energy drained. 

NFC West 

Well Arizona Cardinals, Aaron Rodgers proved you birds cannot stay perfect.  Fluttershy why do you have a hard time getting them to sleep?  Well, the Los Angeles Rams fell asleep on the Titans despite a running on heavy ammo, HC Sean McVay can’t possibly use more bling to buy heavier ammo, can he?  In Washington State, we have our proud 12^th Man Birds, the Seattle Seahawks, and almost buried underground in their division.  Rumors are again ignited that Russell Wilson wants outta there.  More heartbreaking signs this could be the end of an era if his throwing finger doesn’t heal soon.  Jimmy Garrapollo lifting loads for his last breath of the San Francisco 49ers, whom are buried under scorched Earth. 

AFC West 

The very guys that I was certain would die in their own filth is at the top of this division and just killed Eagles  The Los Angeles Chargers have rubbed into the face of all ponies that the former is feed special treatment.  The Las Vegas Raiders are cruising in average highway routes.  But the one who’s been kicked out of driving is a coach the Nevada pirates thought they could trust and who’s name won’t be mentioned for polluting the road with ugly emails.  And to mock a team for ugly runs, the Kansas City Chiefs are close to being buried.  A sad note to report to our orange Colorado team.  Denver Broncos are rebounding, but have traded away their beloved hero Von Miller to the Los Angeles Rams.  Brandon of ThatsGoodSports is weeping in a lonely room because of this. 

Edited November 9, 2021 by ZiggWheelsManning