Equestrian Tales- First Steps featuring Caleb Hyles and Wub Cake

[K_Cast 129]

  Base concept, two strangers set off on an adventure together, song starts with solo's, as the song and their journey moves a head they realize by hearing each other that they have something in common after all, till the end when they unite in the first steps of their friendship."  Inspired heavy on the style from FiM, not all songs will be like this, tried to make is as a kind of tribute to the FiM show music staff in our own way.

This is part of a few posts being made today in regards to our production Equestrian Tales. We wanted to share with you the final version of the song, and its animatic. We will be posting to another thread the entire pilot screenplay that this belongs to, if you are interested in the story, please read we spent nearly 7 years developing the story and its characters, we hope its worth your time. 

 We will be uploading much more music and story content, however the animation side has been scrapped for the time to focus on other productions, I will how ever be working to finish this story.

Feedback very much welcome, as more songs will come in the future, please bare in mind that this is part of a bigger story so not all the context is here.

Written by: Kenneth Casteel / Composed by: Blue Brony / Voice Talents: Caleb Hyles / Wubcake 

Copyright Harmonize Entertainment LLC

 For the Pilot please follow this link to that thread- 

 

Edited March 11, 2022 by K_Cast

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

Would you like feedback on this?

[K_Cast 129]

1 hour ago, Courageous Thunder Dash said:

Would you like feedback on this?

Sure thing if you like, will help to improve the next songs, there are many coming lol. Thank you so much

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

3 minutes ago, K_Cast said:

Sure thing if you like, will help to improve the next songs, there are many coming lol. Thank you so much

Okay, my biggest nitpick are your vocals. They are strained. You have that range. I can hear it in your voice. Project a little more and make sure that you're singing from your chest rather than your throat. Let your power come from your lower abdomen. As a former martial artist, this is how I learned to yell. Later, I applied this technique to my singing to add more power to my voice. The same goes for the female vocalist. Her vocals were slightly unstable. She needs to work on control and by using the lower abdomen to project, you can add more power to your vocals and keep them under control all at the same time. 

This track could use a drum set. It just feels like there is a gap in the instruments. Also, some strings and brass would really make this piece shine. This piece is learning towards a Disney feel, so by adding the orchestral elements, you could really bring it out. 

As far as your lyrics, hate to be honest, but there were a lot of cliche phrases, which made the song sound quite cheesy. The melody is catchy, but the lyrics throw it off. Try not to tell too much, which is what is causing your lyrics to roll off as cheesy. Instead, show the scene unfolding. Show the start of a new journey and how things can be a little rough. Use some similes and metaphors, but again, everything in moderation. 

All in all, I must say that there is a lot of work still to be done. I suggest a good starting place is to revamp those lyrics and then focus on your vocal techniques. Your chords are good, but using the relative minor of C, which is a minor could give this song a countermelody and an opposite feel. Minor keys portray struggle when mixed with major keys. To get to a minor, use E7, which is the V of vi of C. 

Hope my feedback isn't overwhelming...and please don't feel discouraged, for we all aren't perfect, but we can strive to be the best we can be. 

[K_Cast 129]

10 minutes ago, Courageous Thunder Dash said:

Okay, my biggest nitpick are your vocals. They are strained. You have that range. I can hear it in your voice. Project a little more and make sure that you're singing from your chest rather than your throat. Let your power come from your lower abdomen. As a former martial artist, this is how I learned to yell. Later, I applied this technique to my singing to add more power to my voice. The same goes for the female vocalist. Her vocals were slightly unstable. She needs to work on control and by using the lower abdomen to project, you can add more power to your vocals and keep them under control all at the same time. 

This track could use a drum set. It just feels like there is a gap in the instruments. Also, some strings and brass would really make this piece shine. This piece is learning towards a Disney feel, so by adding the orchestral elements, you could really bring it out. 

As far as your lyrics, hate to be honest, but there were a lot of cliche phrases, which made the song sound quite cheesy. The melody is catchy, but the lyrics throw it off. Try not to tell too much, which is what is causing your lyrics to roll off as cheesy. Instead, show the scene unfolding. Show the start of a new journey and how things can be a little rough. Use some similes and metaphors, but again, everything in moderation. 

All in all, I must say that there is a lot of work still to be done. I suggest a good starting place is to revamp those lyrics and then focus on your vocal techniques. Your chords are good, but using the relative minor of C, which is a minor could give this song a countermelody and an opposite feel. Minor keys portray struggle when mixed with major keys. To get to a minor, use E7, which is the V of vi of C. 

Hope my feedback isn't overwhelming...and please don't feel discouraged, for we all aren't perfect, but we can strive to be the best we can be. 

Thank you so much, I'm passing this a long to my voice and music team and honestly we very much appreciate the real feedback, that's good or bad is nice, but it don't do much to make the production better, and we cannot improve what we don't know needs the work. We are out to make quality content, we always have. I will say that thankfully if we just record the lines some of the issues voice side will disappear, as this was recorded about 2 years ago, the song itself took some time to make correct. Both have greatly improved since then, and that will show for sure in future takes / works.

 This was originally going to be a full scene, but we were having to cut for screen time, we decided to build this song to free up about 10 mins of screen time, and convey the same information. And you are right on, there has always been a Disney inspiration in this song, and honestly the story itself. I was inspired originally by "On our way" from Brother Bear, you can kind of hear the up beat melody and tempo still there.

Edited March 11, 2022 by K_Cast

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

1 minute ago, K_Cast said:

Thank you so much, I'm passing this a long to my voice and music team and honestly we very much appreciate the real feedback, thats good or bad is nice, but it don't do much to make the production better, and we cannot improve what we don't know needs the work. We are our to make quality content, we always have. I will say that thankfully if we just record the lines some of the issues voice side will disappear, as this was recorded about 2 years ago, the song itself took some time to make correct. Both have greatly improved since then, and that will show for sure in future takes / works.

 This was originally going to be a full scene, but we were having to cut for screen time, we decided to build this song to free up about 10 mins of screen time, and convey the same information. And you are right on, there has always been a Disney inspiration in this song, and honestly the story itself. I was inspired originally by "On our way" from Brother Bear, you can kind of hear the up beat melody and tempo still there.

Thanks for the info. I'm a musician myself, so I could hear those different styles. It's tough to get lyrics right, but can't wait to hear the next song too.