What was the first phobia you discovered you had?

[Reecejackox 349]

Fireworks when I was 7

[Rikifive 23,486]

I think arachnophobia. Never liked to have spiders around, for as long as I remember. I don't mind small home spuders, but big boys are a big nope!

[Cash In 21,509]

That I remember? Probably would've been thunderstorms when I was like 5.

[Trot Shuffle 3,581]

Fear of heights and abandonment simultaneously, third floor of a mall near me. Clueless little me lost my mommy and proceeded to look down  

[Adariousmist 124]

7 hours ago, Rikifive said:

I think arachnophobia. Never liked to have spiders around, for as long as I remember. I don't mind small home spuders, but big boys are a big nope!

I came here with that one in mind.  There is a devious black spider in here now, about the size of a dime.  He saw me get something to get him and he disappeared before I could.

[Rikifive 23,486]

7 hours ago, Adariousmist said:

I came here with that one in mind.  There is a devious black spider in here now, about the size of a dime.  He saw me get something to get him and he disappeared before I could.

OOOoh I hate when they do that. 

[They call me Loyalty 1,941]

It is not a "phobia". But I always feared the instinctive side of us. Anything related to aggression and sexuality causes me to freeze like a person of advanced age, or become unstable.
It is probably due to the developmental problems I experience. Our animal side is something that has always terrified me. But mine is different. I have split personality disorder.
The side that is talking right now is very passive and loving.
The other side is the entire opposite, and they are separate from one another, so I experience extreme polarities instead of a middle ground where one is balanced by the other. Hopefully, they counteract one another. So, I've been able to stay human for the most part.
Either way. That is the reason my personality is so neutral. Also, I may seem unaware of my surroundings. But I see everything. So, people get annoyed because they feel like I am manipulating them during conversations, as I carefully thread my way avoiding conflict. And I am. But it is to keep them safe.

Still, that is the reason I arrived to this forum. I wanted to put my mind inside a safe box. But I know that you have been watching me. And I've known they have been watching me since I am six years old. Please, understand that I have no interest in causing harm.

Stay safe, please.

[TBD 17,228]

Honestly as a kid before I hit age 13 or 14 have no fears; in other words have no clear mind between right or wrong. My actions and intentions was only to have fun in breaking some rules like getting into fights and shoplifting. You know? These petty things.  Never think about of hurting anyone. Mostly at school of course. I do remember getting this “thrill pleasure” whenever my teacher gives me detention. Except when I was falsely accused. But then again, it was my own doing creating a rep for myself to be easily made a scapegoat.
 

Or that one time when the shop security caught me and my siblings clothes shoplifting when I was 8- I remember my thought was “eh, could’ve done better getting away with it”. But excited at the same. I’m sharing this by going through good memories lane here. The time when I thought things were simple and that  breaking rules was meant to be fun and express some kind rebellious freedom, and not to harm.
 

At age 13 or 14 was like a blast of reality for me. My vice principal called the police on me during school. The thought of the police coming for me didn’t scare me though.
 

It was the the reaction my mom gave me. She was crying on her knees begging the police not to take me away. The police tried to calm her telling her they only want to clears thing out through questioning me. I remember the class eyeing me as I got taken away. Of course my parent was deeply disappointed in me at the same time. Luckily things clears out not for the worst since that police officer was lenient on kids. I remember the police guy telling me this, If I do it again I could be put behind bars. That got me scare shitless. It was not that serious honestly but I think the police wanted to put that “fear” in my head.
 

The part where both my parent were disappointment, classmates eyeballing me like I’m some sort of criminal, and what the police said to me definitely twisted my thoughts and how I set myself. It created fears of breaking rules and disappointing people. I set myself to be a perfectionist since that day. I always tell myself I want to avoid troubles at all cost. Fear of getting in trouble Because I know what I’m capable of doing to people if they’re being rude or knowing I could get away with shoplifting. That fear of temptation. Fear of losing my composure in general.

I remember on 11th grade my school have a working program where we have to go for a day once a week to work. I decided to take my 30 mins to go to downtown shopping and come back on time. Unfortunately I got lost and I have no phone nor maps. So I have to go by memories. I got back late and my work fired me and called the school. The school suspended me of course and wanted to contact my parents. I tried to explain I was lost but they won’t believe and think I was playing hooky. I remember almost begging them not to tell my parent and was frozen in fear what they would do or say.  That kind fear I hate to experience. 

That ‘perfect’ self of mine keeping me in line and avoiding attention on myself. Now every time I have someone coming up to me to talk business or mentioning to me with the word “investigation” or “we need to talk about this regarding you” at work- I always assume the worst about myself when in reality it’s not. I become very self conscious about myself. Even though i should learn not to be hard on myself. Or getting very toxic defensive when someone point out a small mistake I did. Sometime I’m not so sure if I’m doing this to become a best version myself or just suppressing myself.  

[Shrug 9,922]

Fear of dogs.... And I still have it. 

[ZiggWheelsManning 7,358]

Fear of opening books and reading them, the words have a haunting way of jumping out at me  

[Lunaholic 892]

Elevators when I was 5 because I saw a movie where people got stuck into elevator and they all died. I don't have it anymore, I actually like to use them

[EpicEnergy 22,074]

The first one that I can remember was tornados.

[Savygriffs 5,021]

Probably thunderstorms when I was a small child. 

[Winter Storm 206]

Wasps, hornets, all of those sort of flying evil bugs scare me. They are so alien in the worst way possible.

[misaokuser89 135]

emetophobia, fear of vomit. i literally cannot stand it. when i throw up its like a nightmare i cannot wake up from