Jokes On You!

[Pinkie Pie 599]

3 hours ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks once, before sitting up and smiling**

What's that Gummy?

Ooooh~!

Gummy says that those were a great number of tree puns!

Gummy even said that he could get Twiggy with it!  

3 hours ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks twice, while confetti rained all around him**

Gummy thought that was a funny and clever joke!

It looks like there's even fun confetti to be swept too!

3 hours ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks twice, before donning his suit once more**

Gummy loved both of those puns. Very ssssstylish and it made his ssssssides rock with laughter!

3 hours ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks once, before hopping onto a book**

What's that gummy?  

Gummy thought these jokes were clever and very informative!  

3 hours ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks twice, before biting Pinkie's tail**

**Pinkie feels Gummy bite her tail, before giggling**

Sounds to me that Gummy really enjoyed that joke, while also finding an earth pony from said joke.

3 hours ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks once, before flailing his arms**

What's that Gummy?

Gummy had thought that was a fun and clever joke!  

4 hours ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks twice, before dropping his jaw in surprise**

Gummy thought that this joke was both hilarious and surprising, that his jaw dropped!

1 hour ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks, before chewing on a piece of paper**

What's that Gummy?  

Gummy thought that was a fun and clever joke!

It looks like he wants to become a Navi-gator too!  

1 hour ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks twice, before sticking his tongue out**

Gummy really enjoyed the clever jokes!

It looks like hearing about cheesy pizza puns has made him hungry!  

Looks like we might need to find Cheese Sandwich for some more Cheesy puns of epic proportions!

1 hour ago, Gummy Snap said:

**Gummy blinks twice, before donning his party hat**

What's that Gummy?

Gummy thought that was an awesome and interesting joke!  

It looks like listening to the match had caused him to wear a party hat in celebration!

Sounds like a potential party to plan and celebrate!

[Cash In 22,738]

So a MLPF moderator walks into a bar.

"Good evening," says the bartender. The mod walks to the counter tiredly and sits down.

The bartender looks at the tired mod. "Sir, you sure look like you need a drink."

The mod nods his ahead in agreement.

The bartender smiles. "Well, what can I get you? Beer? Vodka? A nice cocktail?"

"No, I don't want any of those," responds the mod .

"What do you want then?" Asks the bartender.

The mod looks at the bartender in the eye and says, "I want something with zero alcohol."

[Sparklefan1234 175,042]

What’s the difference between @Cash In and Applejack? @Cash In doesn’t like Pi.

Edited April 27, 2024 by Sparklefan1234

[StarHeart333 1,772]

 

Two ponies walk into a bar, the third pony ducks. 

[Flew Away 935]

Why did the pony go to school with a saddle on its back?

Because it wanted to be a little horse-y-tail!

Or no?

This one then:

Still no?

OK! one more try

[Lawyer Slip 2,950]

15 minutes ago, Princess Celestia said:

Why did the pony go to school with a saddle on its back?

Because it wanted to be a little horse-y-tail!

Or no?

This one then:

Still no?

OK! one more try

These are pretty funny your majesty. 

So, I left a slice of cake out with one of my toy trains. And when I came back, the cake was gone. I still didn't understand why the toy engine did it, but apparently it had been training it's whole life for this.

[Flew Away 935]

@Lawyer Slip That one was tricky

 

 

Some racehorses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won eight of them!”

Another horse breaks in: “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!”

“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” says another.

At this point, the horses notice a greyhound, who has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”

The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog!”

 

 

[Lawyer Slip 2,950]

So, A priest, a mom, and a rabbit walk into a bar. 

The bartender asks the rabbit, "What are you all doing here?"

And the rabbit responds with, "Well, I'm not sure about those two, but I'm pretty sure I'm an autocorrect.

Edited April 26, 2024 by Lawyer Slip

[StarHeart333 1,772]

Sometimes the best jokes aren't made up but but real life stupidity.

For example Author Stephen King commented that COVID is nowhere near as bad as the disease in HIS book "The Stand".

Some random idiot then asked if had ever actually read the book... that he wrote...

There you go real jokes from the real world.

[Dah Onion Eater 4,948]

*Saturn leaps on stage next to @Lawyer Slip and @Shiny Silvermoon* SOOOO,  one time, I told my friend RK, I tell her, "Look RK! Celestia's raising the sun!" she didn't believe me, so I said..."Never mind, it's way over your head!" a-hey!!! Thank you! 

Edited April 26, 2024 by ThatPinkPone

[Sparklefan1234 175,042]

10 hours ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

Two ponies walk into a bar, the third pony ducks. 

 

Hitch and Sunny walk into a bar...Pipp goes right under it. 

[Dah Onion Eater 4,948]

@Sparklefan1234 Zipp flew over it

[Lawyer Slip 2,950]

31 minutes ago, Sparklefan1234 said:

 

Hitch and Sunny walk into a bar...Pipp goes right under it. 

And Izzy walks into it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again . . .

(Just joking Izzy, you're cool )

[Flew Away 935]

0 characters (20 is the minimum) ok, got it!

 

[Slipstream]

1 hour ago, Princess Celestia said:

0 characters (20 is the minimum) ok, got it!

 

Very funny your majesty.

I didn't know we had Far Side in Equestria.

 

And here's my joke. A lot of ponies wonder why Celestianism has fallen off lately. Well, its obvious why. It's too above ponies for them to properly comprehend.

[StarHeart333 1,772]

So in the middle of a four way stop there is 1,000,000 bits.

At one section there is a lame dragon, at another there is a funny mod, at the third area is a stupid yak and finally at the fourth stop there is a little filly.

So who gets to the million bits first?

Answer, the little filly because there is no such thing as a lame dragon, a stupid yak or a funny mod. 

[Lawyer Slip 2,950]

2 minutes ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

So in the middle of a four way stop there is 1,000,000 bits.

At one section there is a lame dragon, at another there is a funny mod, at the third area is a stupid yak and finally at the fourth stop there is a little filly.

So who gets to the million bits first?

Answer, the little filly because there is no such thing as a lame dragon, a stupid yak or a funny mod. 

I mean, I think @Nitobit has his funny moments.

[StarHeart333 1,772]

12 minutes ago, Lawyer Slip said:

I mean, I think @Nitobit has his funny moments.

Well I would done a joke about Celestia but you know she has those secret police ponies so....

[Evil Pink One 13,523]

11 hours ago, Princess Celestia said:

Why did the pony go to school with a saddle on its back?

Because it wanted to be a little horse-y-tail!

Or no?

This one then:

Still no?

OK! one more try

Dear celestia..... Stop.

32 minutes ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

Well I would done a joke about Celestia but you know she has those secret police ponies so....

Oh........

[StarHeart333 1,772]

You know it is absolutely amazing for people to believe intelligent life exists outside of earth because we first have to find some on earth...

 

[Evil Pink One 13,523]

7 minutes ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

You know it is absolutely amazing for people to believe intelligent life exists outside of earth because we first have to find some on earth...

 

Where?

[StarHeart333 1,772]

I dunno, I'm not used to telling clean jokes most of the ones I know of are very dark humor based. 

Like 99.9% of the jokes I know which are absolutely hilarious are almost certainly guaranteed to offend pretty much everyone of every single possible group.

So figuring out a joke that is both funny and clean is difficult.

One of I know of that but only works with live voice chatting or in person is the interrupting cow joke but like I said though funny it doesn't work for this setting.

I'll take a nap and see if I can come up with something beyond these subpar jokes I've done thus far...

 

Hopefully anyways,worse I DO have a book of funny clean jokes. 

[Shiny Silvermoon 4,121]

4 hours ago, Slipstream said:

Very funny your majesty.

I didn't know we had Far Side in Equestria.

 

And here's my joke. A lot of ponies wonder why Celestianism has fallen off lately. Well, its obvious why. It's too above ponies for them to properly comprehend.

 

Spoiler

Croissanto : "Celestianism is a thing? Don't count me in! I've once tried to look at the sun and it almost burned my eyes! The sun is awful..." 

Shiny : "Well, even if the moon is better, the sun still has good sides! Maybe you could ask @Princess Celestia about it! I'm sure that she will be able to enlighten you..." 

[StarHeart333 1,772]

(Popeye) a man sought medical aid because he had popped eyes and a ringing in his ears. A doctor looked him over and suggested the removal of his tonsils.

The operation failed so he consulted another doctor, who suggested removing all of his teeth. The teeth were removed and yet again nothing changed.

Finally a third doctor told the poor man ya got six months to live.

The man decided since he didn't have very long he was going to live the high life while he could. He bought nice cars, hired a chauffeur and hired the best tailor in town to make him custom shirts and pants.

The tailor was taking his measurements "hmmm sleeve size 35, collar size 16. And now for the pant size. Length 30 and waist 42"

"Uh, no I've always been a waist size 30," the man corrected.

"Can't be if you wore a size 30 you'd have popped eyes and a ringing in your ears..."

 

 

Edited April 27, 2024 by Reiki Knight 13

[Evil Pink One 13,523]

7 hours ago, Reiki Knight 13 said:

I dunno, I'm not used to telling clean jokes most of the ones I know of are very dark humor based. 

Like 99.9% of the jokes I know which are absolutely hilarious are almost certainly guaranteed to offend pretty much everyone of every single possible group.

So figuring out a joke that is both funny and clean is difficult.

One of I know of that but only works with live voice chatting or in person is the interrupting cow joke but like I said though funny it doesn't work for this setting.

I'll take a nap and see if I can come up with something beyond these subpar jokes I've done thus far...

 

Hopefully anyways,worse I DO have a book of funny clean jokes. 

Mine is usually green though....