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WYR marry a 20 yr old or a 40 yr old (assuming you're 30)


Shankveld

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I'd go with 10 years younger, as I have this obsession with the "Motherly" role. I have this "passively dominant" thing going on for me as well. :wacko:

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  • 3 months later...

I wouldn't think it awkward to be married to somebody 10 years away from me in either direction. The older one gets the less one is concerned about age differences. Scratch off that issue.

 

 

People's outlook on life and personalities are largely due to their experiences and relationships. Marrying a woman still in her most impressionable phase of life, though she could be nearing its conclusion, would help us to form a more meaningful bond I think. Especially since I'm already well-established and wise to the ways of the world, and we wouldn't go through the same difficulties that many young couples go through who are still trying to eke out a living. If she's the type who absolutely won't listen to the voice of reason and experience then there's going to be problems. I am and always will be the adventurous sort. It's always been in my nature to wander and experience as many places and things as I'm able, and she would likely share that given her youth if nothing else. But as adventurous as I am, I'm not careless. Some unfamiliar things are easily discernible to me as being a bad idea and some things I've had to learn for myself the hard way. Hopefully she wouldn't have to learn the hard way with me around, but young people will be young people, and we might butt heads over such things. Marrying a woman who still needs a bit of fatherly guidance while I'm 30 years-old could frustrate us both immensely.

 

Then there's the possibility of the older woman. She knows the ropes, but does she always play it safe? Does everything have to be carefully planned before we can make a trip somewhere or buy something, or does she retain some spontaneity? Age is now slowing her a bit, and she's thinking more about finding a permanent, low-maintenance place for us to live as her life is winding down rather than thrill seeking. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about her making reckless decisions and she can be as much a pillar of strength to me as I to her, whereas the young woman would be more like a dependent than an equal. The stupid or misguided decisions I might still make could be averted with her around. Furthermore, and this could be taken in several ways, a woman who's charms are more in what she conceals than what she reveals and who always has my back is more alluring to me than the woman who would bare her whole being most of the time and would need me to take charge more often.

 

I'm favoring the older woman though the younger one isn't totally out of the question. One with a similar background to my own would be fine. Ultimately it would come down to our individual personality traits, as it always does.

 

Finally, I myself am rather “prematurely aged” by my own life experiences. If I married a 20-year-old and I was 30, then I would probably bore her to death and drive her crazy. It would be like she was married to her father. I doubt that relationship would work out well.

This too is a possibility. Several times I've been told by both guys and gals around my age that I sound like their father and need to lighten up. And though I'm a bit of a go-getter these days I've been on my own for most of my life. Many of my more profound life experiences and adventures were solo. We might be able to find many commonalities and do a lot of awesome things together, but it could still almost be as if we were by ourselves. And she would probably go completely nuts with the way I analyze and weigh everything.

 

Her: *Idea!*

 

Me: "Consider the following..."

 

Her: http://mlpforums.com/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.png

 

I didn't realize being human was such an issue for you :P ~

Have you ever met any humans? They can be quite disagreeable and perplexing. I'm glad I'm not one. -_- I'm a self-aware bot created by Scootacool. That's why I'm always here.

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I would definitely rather marry a 20 year old. She would probably be more attractive than a 40 year old (yes I know that sounds shallow)

 

Actually, idk, cause the 20 year old would probably be immature...so maybe I would choose the 40 year old.

Edited by RainbowDash92
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I honestly don't really care about age, but I guess if I really had to chose then I might as well pick the one whos more likely to be healthy.

Again I don't really care about age, not that being 15 I really have much reason to anyways. But I wouldn't even if I was 30.

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Well I'm 24 (25 in Jan) and I'm married to a 42 year old :) to me age doesn't matter (as long as it is reasonable and within the law i.e. not too old (i.e a 20 yr old marrying a 60/70 year old or a someone marrying/going out with someone who is under age)

 

Age is irrelevant, it is what the person is like inside that counts, and the level of maturity as well.

Edited by FireGazer
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Being a woman...most likely the 40 year old...I'm rather old fashioned that way...which is funny because my hubby is younger than me...but that being said, he's also my best friend, an AMAZING cook, has a well paying steady job AS WELL as going to school to become a chef, an amazing father to our boy(s, soon :3) and loves and respects me (most of the time lol)

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10 years older. My boyfriend is 8 years older than me. I have always dated older men, and with women I dated in my age range.

 

I enjoy my boyfriend is older than me, he has more expierence out in the world and can give me great advice or show me how to do things. He knows how loans, buying a car, health insurance, all of that works and happily answers any questions I have. He is mellow, has done his young silly stuff and understands I am still young, (22) and i need to do my silly young stuff as well.

 

The only part that saddens me is the fact statistically he will pass on before me and I may be his caregiver some day. This breaks my heart because he is my best friend but I do not even hesitate to potentially have to deal or do those things for him

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To me, it's not about the age of a person. It's whether you love them or not. Of course, factors like kids play a role in it. I'd choose the 20 year old simply because I want kids, and she is closer to my age. As long as the gap isn't too big, and the true love is there, go for it.

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Age really doesn't matter to me, to be honest. However, I do tend to go after looks so it depends on how good-looking she is. I do have a logical side though, so it also depends if she has a personality I can tolerate, like if she does any kind of drugs or not, etc.

 

I suppose that I would date either one of them giving if one of them has the better personality, I guess. I really wouldn't see any difference in their age if they had the same outlooks on life as I do.

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Both if I would love them.

My actual girlfriend is almost 5 years younger than me(she is 16, I am turning 21 soon) and we have a wonderful relationship.

Sure I had some concerns in the beginning but now I don't even realise the age difference unless someone's mentioning it

Edited by Wildcard
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I would marry the 40-year-old, for several reasons.

 

1. A more stable relationship. Younger people are easily distracted and their feelings can change quickly. And not to be crude, but they're generally hornier. I'm not a sex machine and an older woman would be less likely to cheat on me.

 

2. I don't want children of my own. By age 40, most childless women have decided the same thing, or already have kids of their own (no getting up 4x a night when they cry).

 

3. More romantic experience. Many 20-year-olds still have no conception of what a relationship is beyond corny movies and their high school/college dramas. Older women have some idea of what they're committing to and why it's important.

 

4. Older women are more likely to have money and careers and won't expect you to pay for everything. Financial insecurity destroys relationships.

Edited by TailsAlone
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I care about the genetic material and character but I will try to get younger girls as they're more fertile and have longer lifespan.I might even engage in polygamy if I ever gain substantial economic and political power.

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  • 5 years later...

I don't give a shit about age as long as both parties want to be together!

 

I'd be fine with getting married to either age at 30, my mum's 35 and my step-dad is 51? so I don't give a shit about the age difference too much!

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Having returned to college as a nearly 30-year old, I have to say... I'd trend older, for sure. Most of the college age people felt like they were from a different generation from me, and it just accentuated to me that they are children compared to me. They were 7/8 or younger when I graduated from high school! The gap is just too severe. That said, would a (normal) 40 year old not feel the same about me? I suppose 40 to 30 is just different from 30 to 20, but still.

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Age has absolutely no bearing on how I feel about someone. I'd be just as happy with someone older as I would with someone younger. It's all about personal chemistry and far less about personal experience. 

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Definitely going with older.

More stability. Less chance that they will want me to have kids (which I don't want). And I don't have the patience to deal with a 20-year old on a regular basis. (There's just so much going on with 'finding yourself' in your 20s)

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(edited)

I'd definitely go with the younger. Could teach them all kinds of fun shit. Take up as roles as a lover, mentor and a guardian, all at once.

Edited by Yakamaru
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At 41, that means 31 or 51? 

Eh, while I'm nowhere near being in a dating mindset both ranges are fine. It's a push ... same same. 

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If I was in that situation I would probably rather go with someone who was 10 years older than me. Just because it would be easier for me to be with a 40 year old person rather than a 20 year old who's still figuring out life. :maud:

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I guess if I had a preference I'd go the 40 yr old route as I prefer maturity, stability, and just someone who knows their stuff. That said...

Love itself shouldn't just be defined by the number, but by the person. Granted, there should and must be limits, but even then, there are plenty of 20 yr olds who act 40 and some 40 yr olds who act 20. Not always has simple as it seems. :)

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Considering my wife is 7 years my senior, and I'm currently in my 30s and she's in her 40s, you have my answer. I preferred older than me since college, since I've always been the reserved and mature one. In college, I was a Moondancer in a sea of Pinkie Pies.

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