When is the best time to get married?

[Lost 1,409]

The best time to get married is when you feel ready, there is no real time that can be quantified, its a personal feeling between two people.

[Fluttashy 325]

I got married at twenty, and I was ready so I really think it depends on the maturity of both people and finances have a lot to do with it. You both need jobs enough to support yourselves. Love doesn't pay the bills.

[MelancholicMemory 2,022]

 

 

@Mellon Collie, I do not understand the first quote here, can you explain in a more proper way?

Sure. Basically I was saying that when a person gets married, they may love eachother and be a good match and be able to live together nicely. However, people change drastically over the years. Sometimes the person you're with becomes so different that you are no longer a good match and you can't live together anymore. So the failure of marriages is not just because people rush into marriage or something.

 

It won't let me quote the rest of your post, but I'll just respond to it without the quote. You seem to misunderstand what I am saying. I am saying that rather than have your marriage approved by the government, it should be a personal commitment between two people who love eachother. I think certain rights such as the tax benefits and whatnot are unfounded, and others such as inheritance and hospital visits should be conferred on a private basis in private contracts. This is irrelevant to my attitude towards marriage, but rather it is related to my political philosophy. I'm not reducing humanity to animals, I'm raising it up. I'm saying people have the dignity to make a lifelong commitment without the requiring the approval of some governing body to magically declare them married.

 

Also, just because something exists in humans and not animals, does not mean the removal of such a thing reduces us to animals. I mean, animals do not have nuclear weapons, so if we got rid of them, would that make us animals? Of course not. So if magically people started committing to eachother informally rather than requiring the social or legal institution of marriage it would not reduce us to animals either. To say so is unfounded.

 

@@RockinRarity,

You gave me a lot to respond to, so for the sake of convenience, I'm just gonna boil things down to the basic ideas. First, I'd like to congratulate you on your wedding. You and your husband sound like you will be very happy together. I'd like you to know that I am not stating contempt for people who are or will be married or saying people shouldn't be married. I'm just saying that overall it is a bad idea, and based on what I've seen I don't want to be married and I wouldn't exactly recommend it to others. If someone believes getting married will make them happy, then good for them. I just want to make the most people as happy as possible. That's what I care about. My conclusions come from my life experiences; family, friends, friends of friends, who are not divorced seem to be pretty darn miserable (not all of course). I won't go into detail because that is a breach of privacy. Yes, there are some truly happy couples, and I'm happy for them, but it is a rarity (see what I did there? ). I don't mean to be a downer, but from what I've seen and read this is true.

 

Once more, I am not arguing against commitment, so the dress anecdote, though interesting, was not necessary. I am arguing against the formal institution of marriage as a social ritual, not being in a committed monogamous relationship. Anyway, I think it is best we let this topic rest because it is a tad off topic, and I don't want to start a big argument or something. Anyway, I wish you and your husband the best of luck, RockinRarity (awesome username btw).

[Unpredictable Ranger 696]

I see. You meant to say that the world shouldn't make marriage as some ticket for tax discounts and medical discounts (i.e.: being politicised by the government as their "excuse" for not offering those specialties to single citizens). Actually they do that to encourage (read: pester) the people to get married instead of living an unmarried life, therefore, making may of the perks unavailable to those who don't have spouses.

 

Actually you can quote what was in my post (and in anybody's posts), even the ones that they have quoted from someone else: by highlighting those text and then click on the black Quote button.

 

It won't let me quote the rest of your post,

[firekillerpwns 32]

well it depends if you mean age or not if so 24-to about 30 is a good time if you mean like number of years you been doing stuff well that doesn't matter do what you feel like.

[PlunderSteed 1,251]

That Cracked.com article was hilarious!  Also, I recommend not getting married until one has experienced the relationship cycle at least a couple of times.  That is: know what to expect (in general) when it comes to sharing your life and home with a person you trust and care about.  Odds are, most people will fuck it up once or twice or seventeen times while they're figuring out how to relationship.

 

Alternately, think of it as learning to drive a manual transmission: better to learn on your aunt's 1986 Pontiac Fiero than in your brand new Benz.

[HunterScars 505]

i believe the right time to get married would be 

 

when one can afford a wedding and a home 9 apartment or house ) and not living with parents 

 

when you have met your significant other ( dont just marry anypony marry the person of your dreams) 

 

when she gets pregnant or you have been together for at least 1&1/2 - 2 years

 

age of about 23- whenever  love can sprout even at the oldest of ages 

 

those are my personal beliefs on when people should get married 

[Taviscratch 453]

NEVER! I see no point in marriage. I know me and my girlfriend love each other and marriage won't change that. Paying lots of money for a registrar, meals for several hundred Italian family members and two gold rings doesn't seem necessary. I don't feel any need to tell all of my friends and family that I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her when I can do that free of charge. I'm not possessive enough to brand her as "my wife" either (though I realise the irony of me already referring to her as "my girlfriend", that was merely so I didn't tell you guys her name). In today's society I see no use for marriage.

Edited June 30, 2013 by Taviscratch

[Nerdy Luigi 2,064]

I think the best time is early-mid twenties. Because at that time at least 1 party can earn a steady stream of income, as well as being old enough to truly "love them with all your heart"

 

But that can vary, pending on the relationship. But averagely, I'd say about 23-26-ish.

Edited June 30, 2013 by Rainbow P.F. Sparkle

[RockinRarity 1,605]

NEVER! I see no point in marriage. I know I me and my girlfriend love each other and marriage won't change that. Paying lots of money for a registrar, meals for several hundred Italian family members and two gold rings doesn't seem necessary. I don't feel any need to tell all of my friends and family that I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her when I can do that free of charge. I'm not possessive enough to brand her as "my wife" either (though I realise the irony of me already referring to her as "my girlfriend", that was merely so I didn't tell you guys her name). In today's society I see no use for marriage.

First, you really don't need a ridiculously expensive wedding in order to get married. Don't believe the lies that TV tells you and thousands of women about all of that.

 

Seriously, I am getting married in less than 4 months, and I am continually being disgusted and/or rolling my eyes at half the stuff in "wedding culture." Seriously, I bought my wedding dress for $200, and dress designers are making it look like any dress that's less than $2000 is "cheap." I can tell you so many other ways that I have been cutting costs for this wedding, so it is only going to cost around $10,000. Both of us have full-time jobs, and we can afford it. It also is good practice for saving up for other big things, like buying a house. :3

 

I also hate plated meals at a wedding reception. Not only are they TONS more expensive than a buffet, but there is not enough food on any of them for my giant stomach, or all 5 my brothers' gianter stomachs. Why pay $40 per person when you can pay $12 per person? Also registering for gifts? It's freeeeee, and you get presents for getting married! You don't have to buy your own stuff! I love it. <3

 

As for the point of it? Well I am Catholic, and Catholics believe that marriage is a sacrament - an outward/physical sign of inward grace instituted by Christ to make us holier. When a man and a woman say their vows to each other, they are making a commitment to one another, and that commitment is blessed by God. That commitment is sealed after they have consummated the marriage.

 

From a secular or non-religious perspective, there are legal benefits, first of all. You get a tax break for being married, and you have someone who can be your beneficiary, and you can easily have the same health/dental/whatever insurance as well. But you are also making a commitment to one another in front of witnesses. It is your way of saying, "I love you, and I want to be with you until death do us part."

 

It really is unnecessary to have a huge and extravagant wedding. My wedding would have cost less if I wanted to invite less than 100 people, but to us it looks like we will be having over 200, but that's OK, because we legitimately wanted it that way. I have a couple of friends who got married, and they only invited his mom and his aunt. I could have had a tiny wedding and spent $200 on the dress, $150 for the church, and then have a light reception at my parents' house if I really wanted to do it that way.

 

Divorce is prominent because people do not take marriage seriously. All they want is the extravagant wedding, but they care little about the state of their relationship and what things will look like after the wedding - or they are naive, and they think that marriage = happily ever after and that once you are married, because you love each other, there won't be any problems. But just like a career or other life-long pursuit, it takes work, and it's never automatic.

 

So that's the other side of things, I suppose.

 

EDIT: I have never considered "my wife" or "my husband" to be possessive... I have always considered it to be endearing, like you are proud to be committed to this particular person. It's not like "my pet" or "my slave" or whatever, lol.

Edited June 30, 2013 by RockinRarity

[nanobyte 27]

when you feel you're ready

 

but personally for me it would be when i'm financially stable and ready to settle down, have children, etc.

[Scootaloodle 1,621]

I'd say when both partners are ready, love each other and feel like it's the step they both want to take together. As long as they have those boxes ticked then that's all that matters in my book

[Taviscratch 453]

As for the point of it? Well I am Catholic, and Catholics believe that marriage is a sacrament - an outward/physical sign of inward grace instituted by Christ to make us holier. When a man and a woman say their vows to each other, they are making a commitment to one another, and that commitment is blessed by God. That commitment is sealed after they have consummated the marriage.

 

From a secular or non-religious perspective, there are legal benefits, first of all. You get a tax break for being married, and you have someone who can be your beneficiary, and you can easily have the same health/dental/whatever insurance as well. But you are also making a commitment to one another in front of witnesses. It is your way of saying, "I love you, and I want to be with you until death do us part."

Yeah, both myself and my girlfriend are atheist so religious doctrine isn't a factor. As for the tax stuff, yeah, that's why I would do it but I don't agree with it. I shouldn't feel like I should get married just to get a tax break. As for the witnesses, I don't feel the need to say that I love my girlfriend in front of witnesses when I can just tell the one person who matter; her.

 

Despite all that I will say congratulations on four months to go. I hope it brings you happiness   I understand that you don't need to spend lots of money on a wedding but personally, I see no point in getting married at all when I follow no religion. Now I'm going to stop thinking about marriage because I haven't been in this relationship long enough for it to be a legitimate train of thought 

[RockinRarity 1,605]

 

 

I shouldn't feel like I should get married just to get a tax break.

 

I actually do agree with you there. To me the tax break is just a bonus, and if for whatever reason the government decided to no longer grant it, I'd still get married.

 

I guess from a secular perspective, it's also the sentimentality of being officially together for life and recognized as such by society as a whole, as well as the other important individuals in your life. But if you have not been in the relationship long enough for it to be a train of thought, then you don't even need to think about it at this point, lol.

 

And thanks for the congrats. The clock is ticking!!

[Lunas Husband 2,777]

When you both feel ready, or you are both really drunk and want to do something silly... anyway like I said, when you both feel ready and know you 2 are truly in love

[Celtore 2,769]

After sufficient scientific testing, logical analysis and documentation has been recorded and performed.

 

Seriously though, it really is a big decision that I think warrants such care. Maybe not to the degree about writing essays and whatnot, but you really want to be sure that you're making the right move. Is the love mutual? Are you financially sufficient? Are you ready to take that commitment? A few friends of mine really fail that last one.

 

Myself, I'm waiting to get through education first before starting my search. That's the one big thing I learned from a close friend of mine at the campus.

[ChoroChii 284]

Whenever the two of them feel it's the right time and are ready to get married. Financially and emotionally ready to commit to the person.

[Malinter 3,064]

NEVAR!!!! MUHAHAHA.... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

 

No seriously. Marriage is technically pointless. I couple can stay together, raise a kid and play happy families without all the bells and whistles of a church cermony.

 

If anything, Marriage has just been eroded into nothing but an overly expensive way of changing your bride's surname. You could just have it changed with one of those deed poll things.

 

It doesn't even carry the same importance anymore as people barely seem to be able to stay married more than 5-6y years these days and i've heard more than one story where the pressures of arranging a marriage has actually been the coffin nail of said romance.

Edited November 4, 2013 by Malinter

[Inactive01 5,298]

This really depends on the couple. They could me married at their early 20s (like many of my friends), or they could be married much later. 

 

For me, it would really depend on how much we know each other and how willing we are to loving our future spouse. It would also largely depend on how prepared we are to supporting our family, because it's our future kids who are going to be greatest affected by our choices. 

[lomk 20,663]

It's not really a question of age so much as it is a question of readiness. I see all these people getting married at anywhere between 17 and 20 years old and I think it's one of the dumbest things they can do! I do know one couple who's been happily married for two years and they got married at 18 and 19, but they're the only one I know that has lasted. 

 

I'd say a good age may be around 26. It isn't selfish at all to not be interested in dating and to take some time for yourself. Now I say 26 because, let's face it, when you're 18 you don't have the job or the college degree to be financially stable. And financial instability causes more divorces than you'd think. Sure, a marriage shouldn't be all about the money. But you've simply got to accept that it's a big deal. 

 

I'm personally gonna wait til I'm about 30 to marry. I may go a little younger than that if I think it's the right time. But I want to finish school, get settled in my career, be able to pay off half of a good home and be able to own it within 15 years, and have plenty of equity in case things take a bad turn in the economy and income slows down. Mostly, I want to be able to provide for her and our kids. I haven't got any problems waiting another 9 years to get all that done.

[PinkiePieJr 122]

Well here's the thing. Most people don't understand true love. Lots of people go through their high school infatuation phase. Its exactly why there are so many breakups. It's why there are so many divorces. People just don't get it anymore. When you're growing up, around your teen ages, your sexual attraction is the highest. Just because of that, it doesn't mean you have to take action though. It's just the results of your brain developing. People's feelings are constantly changing. Until the age of 25, you can't guarantee for sure who you are yet, because you're brain is still developing. That's why young relationships almost always never work. Because what you liked about her/him at one point, may become detestable to you in the future. This is exactly why it's so stupid to get married right after high school. Most people are infatuated, and their brain isn't developed enough to realize what a huge decision they are making, and when they get older they realize "who did I marry!?" Hence the reason for high divorce rates.

To get a serious true love relationship, it has been recommended to wait past "the bloom of youth." This is the point in one's life when your brain is fully developed, you know who you are, and what you want to do with your life, and then you can make the right decision of marriage. I highly recommend to all, and so will so many others, DO NOT GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU ARE IN YOUR TWENTEES. It will save you from all the regrets. Marriage is supposed to be a scared thing. Don't go abusing it by making a stupid mistake, and getting a divorce. Divorce is not an ok thing, even though most make it seem like it's fine to do. Yes it may be a long time to wait, but if you want to find true love, then the wait is well worth it.

[Kaneki 1,072]

Personally, I think when you're ready. I wouldn't know much considering I'm bi with the "unfortunate" gift of not wanting to date because I just don't feel it, but if you feel like you're ready, try it. That may be when you know each other very well, or you just both feel like you're meant to be together.

[Dsanders 5,742]

Like what many other posters here said, the best time to get married would be when the couple is financially and emotionally prepared to take on such a life long commitment. They'll need to make sure that they be able to afford all they can to support themselves in all their essential and basic needs. Having a good and supportive finance is especially important in getting a place where the married couple will live at and raise a family of their own.

 

They'll need to be aware of the seriousness and importance of the marriage, their love, and how it will all play out in the long run. It's sad to see how much of a joke marriage has become to most people these days.

 

It's not about the extravagant parties and decorations at the wedding, it's about how the sacred bond between the two married individuals will play out afterward and in essence, marriage is supposed to last until death do them part. 

 

It is a very huge decision and it is to be taken with great care and confidence that things between the two partners will be able to financially and emotionally go steady and strong. And most of all, no matter how rigorous or rough the obstacles and the trials get, the couple will need to endure it and make sure that their love never fails. 

 

If it is true love that they have for one another, then most certainly, it will never fail.

[Lateon 588]

 

 

If anything, Marriage has just been eroded into nothing but an overly expensive way of changing your bride's surname. You could just have it changed with one of those deed poll things.   It doesn't even carry the same importance anymore as people barely seem to be able to stay married more than 5-6y years these days and i've heard more than one story where the pressures of arranging a marriage has actually been the coffin nail of said romance.

 

That would be why my parents got themselves married in the courthouse. It took literally an hour and cost them 50 dollars back in June 1988, or so they say. They were a bit tight on money, and didn't feel like going through all the stupidity of a big played up marriage or whatever. Then they had my brother the following February (February 28th, to be exact). They've been together ever since.

 

Hm, now that I think about it, my brother's a honeymoon baby!

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

I'd say early 20s at the earliest.....but that's just me.