An Untitled WIP

[ZomBrony 346]

I haven't come up with a good title yet and don't really have any format yet so this will just be a wall of text kind of situation. Again, sorry about that. Yes, this is another Brony in Equestria story but hopefully my style of writing changes it enough so it doesn't go by ignored. And, as with my last one, this is a WIP but I plan on continuing to work on it. Unlike the last. I think I'll still put one spoiler because I think this is pretty damn long. I'm mostly looking for feedback on grammar and format right now but any critique is appreciated. Oh yeah, this will make more sense if you've ever played Kingdom of Loathing. Just think of the Saucerer as a Sorcerer. That's the only term I can really think of. Good luck, troops!

 

 

There once was a Brony Sauceror. He had been venturing far and long in search for Equestria. He was once again not surprised to find himself in some realm other than Equestria but he had noticed that this world of KoL was abstract enough that he might be able to find a way to open some portal or the like to get to Equestria.

 

After Twenty long nights of exploring he started hearing rumours about an "Inexplicable Door" that is rumoured to take one far, far away. He asked around the kingdom about how to find a way into this "Inexplicable Door" and heard nothing of the sort. After a long while, he finally heard someone say something about a Mystic that all believed to be insane. The Sauceror too, believed that the people he had heard talking about the Mystic could be right but he had nowhere else to go and no one else to ask.

 

He ventured a great distance from the Kingdom into the woods known as "Distant Woods" and started seeking out the cabin in the forest that the Mystic is rumoured to live in. He ended up fighting many random bad guys but finally found the Mystic's Cabin. He intended to ask the Mystic about the "Inexplicable Door" but as soon as the Sauceror opened the door partway the Mystic started blabbering about an 8-Bit World and magical pixels capable of great things, the Mystic went on and on and on until the Sauceror starting getting annoyed with him.

 

Even for a Brony, the Mystic’s mumbo-jumbo was simply too much to tolerate. The Sauceror approached the Mystic, leaning in real close -in fact, to any strangers it might appear that they were going to kiss- but instead, the Sauceror raised his hand high above and brought down with the force of a thousand suns his fist into the Mystic’s shoulder. In doing so, the Mystic finally shut up and the Brony asked him about the “Inexplicable Door”. At the mention of this, the Mystic's jaw dropped and the Brony thought he might start blabbering again but instead the Mystic said; "Inexplicable Door? How do you know of such a thing?" The Brony replied; "I'm on a journey to Equestria; I heard that it might be some sort of portal and I thought I might finally have found my way into Equestria. Do you know much of it?" "Yes", said the Mystic solemnly "but, I'm afraid it's not what you seek. The Inexplicable Door is a portal to the 8-Bit realm, not this Equestria you speak of."

 

The Brony was about to look down with disdain and slink away, but just before doing so, the Mystic finished his sentence. "But, I have heard about a Rainbow-Coloured door somewhere in the Big Mountains. Other Bronies have sought me out before asking about this door and I've heard many tales. From what I've learned of the various stories I've heard about My Little Pony, I suspect that this door may be your salvation. Alas, none have ever found the Rainbow Door. I suggest seeking out the Elders."

 

At hearing this, the Brony Sauceror’s eyes lit up with excitement and he exclaimed "I must find out more about this door! Thank you, wise Mystic.” And so, the Brony went and he sought out the Elders. In doing so he found out everything he could about the Rainbow-Coloured Door and trekked off into the mountains to seek it. After an unknown amount of time of venturing through the Big Mountains, the Brony did find the Rainbow-Coloured Door, and lead to Equestria it did.

 

Upon reaching Equestria and finally having his eyes adjusted to the much brighter world, the Brony realized that he was just on the edge of the Everfree Forest. He remembered all the stories and fanfics he’d heard and read about it and got moderately scared. Then, since he apparently hadn’t noticed right away, the Brony remembered he was in Equestria and thinking of all the possibilities, collapsed from a combination of shock, excitement, and fear.

 

Once again forgetting, the Brony was nervous for a moment when he woke up in an unfamiliar room. After frantically looking around for a few moments the Brony remembered that he was in Equestria. After further thought, he also remembered fainting outside of the Everfree Forest. I must have been found and taken to the hospital by somepony… The Brony decided that he would call the nurse. He wanted to see if the nurse would be familiar and he needed to find out more about Equestria.

The first question the Brony asked when the nurse showed up was if she thought that he would have to stay longer.

The nurse replied, “No, somepony just found you lying outside of Everfree. What were you doing there anyways?”

“Well, I noticed nopony’s seemed too surprised to see me here. Do you see humans often?”

“I’ve seen your kind before but we don’t very often. That still doesn’t explain why you were at the Everfree Forest”

“I know, but I had to be sure you knew that. Because the way I got here was through a Rainbow-Coloured Door in a place called the Kingdom of Loathing. I came out there and I guess the idea of everything was just too much for me.”

“Hmm. Okay, is there anything else you called me for?”

“No, do you think I could leave right away then?”

“I suppose so. Why are you so eager to go, though?”

“Ma’am, this is a hospital and I have just arrived in Equestria. I’ve been dreaming about this for months. Why do you think?”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I understand”

“I’m glad you do. I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“Okay, goodbye, human.”

 

After politely saying goodbye to the nurse, the Brony checked out of the hospital and decided to start exploring Equestria. The second he stepped through the hospital doors, the Brony immediately heard the familiar voice of a certain pink pony and as the smile appeared on his lips, who else but Pinkie comes hopping along to greet him? The slowly growing grin on his face burst into a smile as Pinkie neared him. “Hi there, Pinkie!” the Brony called to her as she was hopping towards him.

Pinkie suddenly froze in the air, mid-bounce. After almost face planting into the ground, Pinkie barely managed landing on her hooves and said “Oh, hi there, human. How do you know my name?”

“Pinkie. How could I not know your name? You’re like the friendliest pony in Equestria!”

“Really? Ya think so?!”

“Of course, I do. Can’t hide from the truth”

“Aww, thanks. Anyways, I heard you’d be coming here and I have your party all planned out!”

“A party? For me? Wow. I’m not really used to being cared about…”

“Wait, what? Nopony cared about you where you came from?”

“I’m sure some did, but it sure didn’t feel like it.”

“Wow. That’s… Horrible. How could anypony not care about somepony else?”

“Well, Pinkie. It’s a lot different on Earth. That’s where I come from. Anyways, I don’t want to keep you or your guests waiting for me for too long. Is the party at Sugarcube Corner?”

“Yeah! How’d you know?”

“Not sure. Just a lucky guess I suppose. Let’s go!”

“Hold it! I need to know your name so I can introduce you!”

“My name? Why, I’m Miles. Now we may properly introduce each other.”

“Yeah! Hi Miles, my name’s Pinkie Pie!”

“Why, hello, Pinkie Pie. May I call you Pinkie for short?”

“Of course! Now let’s go! We’ve kept everypony waiting for long enough.”

“Right. Let’s be off then.”

 

Miles and Pinkie talked a while longer on their way to Sugarcube Corner but nothing really relevant to this story was learned. Even though Miles had known Pinkie always throws awesome parties he was surprised how many ponies had turned out. Miles was quite sad when he didn’t see the rest of Pinkie’s friends right away but assumed they had other things to do and was way too drunk on cider by the end of the night to remember if he ever did meet them.

 

All he could remember was showing up, drinking way too much cider, doing some really stupid things that you’d probably rather not hear (as if he could remember them either way), and waking up dirty and cold outside on the sidewalk. Aww man. Maybe Pinkie’s parties are a bit too wild for me. After half-drunkenly wondering Ponyville for an unknown amount of time, Miles ran into Twilight. He was barely sober enough to talk to her and apologized for his state but she didn’t really seem surprised. She said “Ah. Just getting back from Pinkie’s welcome party aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Miles said sheepishly “sorry again.”

“Oh, it’s fine. You’re not the first I’ve seen in a state like yours coming from a Pinkie Party. Pony or not. Anyways, I understand if you can’t right away but I’ve actually been looking for you. It seems Celestia somehow knew of your arrival and she would like you to report to her as soon as you can.”

“Oh, Celestia! Celestia wants to see me? Ugh, I have a bad feeling about this.” Twilight looked confused at the double mention of the princess’s name. Seeing this, Miles said “Oh, sorry. That’s a brony thing… Not sure how I could explain. Anyways’ can’t keep her highness waiting can I?”

“Eeyup. Ah don’t think that’d be too wise, human.” Said Applejack coming out of nowhere.

“But you don’t plan on going looking like that, do you darling?” inquired Rarity, also coming out of nowhere.

“Oh, hello ladies. You both have good points. Rarity, you wouldn’t have any human-sized clothes would you?” asked Miles.

Rarity and Applejack both looked a bit surprised about Miles knowing their names. ‘Well… I don’t think I have any currently in stock… But, erm. I could probably whip something up pretty quickly. How did you know my name, human?”

Miles muttered something to himself but nopony heard what.

 

After sighing loudly, Miles said to the three mares “please tell me someone else has already told you about Friendship is Magic”

“Well, of course it is,” said Twilight “what are you getting at?” Oh for bucks sakes. Of course I’d have to be the one to tell them… “I was always curious of this when I was dreaming and the like about coming here. Do you honestly not know that you’re from a cartoon? I don’t even know how this place can exist. You Twilight, you AJ, you Rarity. The three of you, your friends, everypony here, and Equestria itself. All of that is from a cartoon called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I’m sorry that I had to be the one to tell you but it’s true. I don’t even understand how it’s possible but I guess simply because so many people believed that Equestria was real, especially those that have been to and are trying to get to it, that it just started existing.”

“Waitwaitwait. Are you saying that we’re not real?” asked Twilight in bewilderment.

“Well, clearly you’re real because I’m here talking to you but I really have no idea how.”

“Phew. This sure is ah lot to take in, human. But we’ll have to worry about all this later. We need to get you to Celestia before she gets angry.” said Applejack, throwing a look that suggested humour towards Twi.

“She’s right you know. While you three were talking I rand off and made our friend here a new outfit. You might want to throw that on, human.” Said Rarity, walking back into everyone’s earshot.

“Yeah, we better go.” Agreed Miles.

 

As the four friends were heading to Rarity’s Miles asked “Rarity, thanks for the clothes but my skin’s kind of dirty too. Do you have a shower or something I could wash up in? Seeing Celestia’s an even huger deal to me than it would be for any pony. I want to make the best possible first impression.”

Rarity responded “Well, I don’t but the spa might.”

“Now, Rarity. I want to be sure you aren’t setting me up for a total makeover or anything like that. Can I just clean up there?”

“Well, I don’t know about that darling, but I’m sure they could make an exception for a human. We really don’t see your kind too often”

“I’ve heard. The nurse told me that when I woke up in the hospital. That reminds me, I still need to find out who took me to the hospital.”

“I’m sure you’re curious but we really need to hurry up. I’ve found out that Celestia isn’t as bad as I thought about tardiness but I still wouldn’t want to keep her waiting,” said Twilight kind of randomly “so hurry up.”

“Good point, Twi. Also, do you mind me calling you that?” replied Miles

“Oh. I’ve never been called that before but I kind of like it. Sure.”

“All right. Let’s kick it into high gear. I think we’ve been talking a little too long.” At saying this, the three ponies galloped ahead and Miles could barely keep up by sprinting. He called to them “Okay! Maybe not that high of gears! Phew” Smiling at this, Twilight and her friends slowed to a canter and then to a trot as Miles starting catching up. “Sorry… you three… I’m… really not in the best shape. Ha-ha.” Said Miles breathlessly.

“Yeah. No kidding, sugarcube,” Said Applejack stifling laughter “that reminds me, we’ve all been calling you human. Surely you have a name, what is it?”

Miles looked a bit surprised at this. “I haven’t told you yet? Wow. Sorry about that, my name’s Miles.”

“Okay, Miles. We’d better keep moving, do you think you could keep up with a canter?” Asked Twilight.

“Well, I don’t know. Only way to find out is to try, right?”

“You betcha, okay, let’s go!” With Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack cantering slightly ahead, Miles kept up with a fast jog. It seemed to take forever to Miles because they decided to stop at the spa before Rarity’s house. Miles didn’t mind too much but he did end up getting a full treatment. He never realized how awkward it feels to be clean in dirty clothes. He and the ponies talked for a bit at the spa but Miles mostly just found out things he already knew from the show and the ponies some things about him that don’t matter that much in this story. At least not yet.

 

By the time everyone finally got to Rarity’s so Miles could put his new outfit on the sun had set and the four of them assumed Celestia would either be asleep or trying to get to sleep. Twilight sent a letter to her apologizing for Miles absence, explaining why he couldn’t make it, and stating that they’d go again tomorrow. Twilight and Applejack went home and Miles, having no home yet asked to spend the night at Rarity’s. She said yes and they talked more about irrelevant things for a while. Rarity showed Miles her rare gem collection, some of the plans for her next line of clothing, and they had some non-alcoholic cider together. Miles always thought from the show that Rarity was rather annoying but he realized just how un-true that was as they talked throughout the night. Miles had lost track of time and didn’t think to ask Rarity but it was very dark when the two of them went together. Rarity went off to her bedroom and Miles slept downstairs on the couch.

 

Looking outside at the clock tower the next morning when Miles got up, it was about 8:00am. Rarity wasn’t up yet so Miles just sat around thinking about things. Usually during times like this, Miles would end up being sad or depressed but it seemed to be the opposite in Equestria. The more things Miles thought about, the better he started feeling about himself. So much so that he got lost in his thought and didn’t notice Rarity coming back downstairs. Rarity actually felt a bit nervous as she approached him because of that. Still hesitantly, Rarity walked a bit closer to Miles saying “Good morning Miles… Ar-are you alright?”

Finally noticing her, Miles snapped back to reality, if you can this place a reality… saying “Oh! Morning, Rarity. Yeah I’m fine, I was just thinking. Sorry if I worried you.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly worried, darling. I was just a bit…erm.. nervous. It’s rather creepy the way you stare off into nothing when you think.”

“As I’ve been told before. Did Twilight give Celestia any specific time for me to go see her? Do you know?”

“I’m quite certain she didn’t buy maybe you should go ask her. Would you like another outfit for today?”

“I’ll go see her then. And no thanks; I don’t want you wasting your time making clothes for me. You’ve probably found out by now that we wear clothes much more often than ponies.”

“Indeed I have. Why is that?”

“Well, umm. Let’s just say humans have different parts in different places. We need clothes to cover those.”

“I don’t really understand that, but I won’t question it. Do you think I’ll be seeing you later?”

“If you’re okay with it. I don’t have a place of my own yet so if you don’t mind, I’ll probably come here to sleep. Do you?”

“I might normally, but your case makes an exception. See you later Miles!”

After saying their goodbyes, Miles started on his way to Twilight’s house. Hopefully she’s up. It seems she’s always up in the morning from the show but we never really knew the time. Even with his positive start Miles started feeling a bit down on his way to Twilight’s house because he realized that he hasn’t seen Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash yet. As a person that always assumes the worst before anything else, Miles couldn’t help but worry about them. He looked around along his walk as he still hadn’t quite gotten used to the much brighter world of Equestira. The buildings, paths, grass, flowers, the inhabitants, everything seemed so much nicer in Equestria. Miles never realized just how far Twilight’s house was from Rarity’s. Because it was so much longer than he anticipated, Miles began thinking, and again getting lost in his thoughts almost walked by the library when he finally reached it. He probably would have if not for Twilight calling “Hey, Miles! You wouldn’t happen to be looking for me, would you?” from her bedroom window. This snapped Miles out of the jumbled world of his thoughts again and he called back “Actually, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing? May I come in so we don’t have to shout?!”

“Oh yeah! Sorry, I’ll be right down!” Twilight hurried downstairs and let Miles in. Seeing that Twilight was about to close the door, Miles asked her to leave it open. Twilight responded asking him why and Miles said “I just have a quick question, it depends on what your answer is.”

“Oh, what’s that?” Asked Twilight

“I wanted to know if you told Celestia a specific time for me to meet her. Did you?”

“No, why would you think I did?”

“I’m not really sure, I just wanted to be sure.”

“Okay. So, now that you know there doesn’t have to be a specific time. Can we talk?”

“Of course, back on Earth I was always willing to talk. Let me close the door for you. Where’s Spike by the way?”

“Oh thanks. Spike’s still asleep upstairs. Is there anypony you don’t know Miles?”

“There are some ponies known as Background Characters back on Earth that I don’t really know but there’s probably not many”

“Oh, okay then. What exactly is intended by the name ‘background character?’ It sounds like it might mean somepony is lesser and that’s certainly not true”

“Well it does, and it wouldn’t in the real Equestria, but in the show, background characters are ponies that only show up once for something like a crowd scene and they don’t really change the show in any way. I’m not even sure if they’d exist in the real Equestria.”

“I never even thought somepony could be insignificant enough to not exist. Wow.”

“Yeah, that’s a bit of a cruel way to describe them but I couldn’t really think of any other way”

“MLP, that’s short for My Little Pony, the show I told you about yesterday, hasn’t been on for a while so I really don’t know how things have been going for everypony. Have you been alright Twi?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Not much has been happening.”

“I don’t have any more questions, Twilight. Got anything you’d like to ask me?”

“Actually no, I like talking too but I can’t think of anything”

“Okay then, I hate to have to leave, but I do still have to see Celestia. Was there a specific reason she wanted to see me?”

“I don’t think so, it’s just mandatory for her to welcome you to Equestria”

“Oh, okay. I guess I’ll be off again. See you later, Twi. Maybe”

 

After Twilight said goodbye to Miles, he apologized again for having to leave so soon and was about to start walking to Canterlot when he remembered how far it was. Not really wanting to go back to Twilight so soon for a reason Miles was unsure of, he decided he’d just wander around some more until he found somepony that would either give him a ride or tell him where he could catch a ride. That pony just so happened to be Applejack, for whatever reason she appeared to be selling some apple products at Sugarcube Corner. When Miles called to Applejack perhaps a bit sooner than necessary, he mistakenly attracted a lot of attention on his way to talk to her. When Miles was close enough that he felt like he could talk to her without further attracting attention, he asked if she knew where to go to find some transport. Applejack responded “Well, of course ah do. Did yah not find that out watching that show ya were talking about?”

“No, we didn’t,” started Miles.

He was about to continue when Applejack interrupted saying “Wait a minute; Ah noticed you’ve been saying we whenever you’re talking about that show. What do ya mean when ya say we?”

“Oh, whenever I say we, I’m referring to MLP’s fandom. We call ourselves Bronies, and when a fandom’s as big as the Brony fandom is, you know you’re not alone when talking about it, so I say we quite often when I’m doing so.”

“Er, sorry. What’s a fandom?”

“Hmm, I’ve never really had to explain that before. Umm, I guess I could say fandom is a generalization for a large group of people with similar interests. Make sense to you?”

“Ah spose so. What were you going to say before ah interrupted?”

“I was going to say; ‘no, we didn’t. MLP is a cartoon not a documentary.’ Sorry if that sounds mean, it was intended as a joke but I never really thought it through”

“Ah, I’m sorry. What were ya asking before that, again?”

Miles sighed and Applejack blushed slightly. Miles said “I was asking about transportation. Specifically to Canterlot, I still haven’t seen Celestia yet because I was talking to Rarity and Twilight earlier”

“Oh. Ah think the closest transport to Canterlot would be the Friendship Express. Ya probably already know but that’s the train by the Town Center. I’m not sure about it’s schedules though. Sorry, sugarcube”

“That’s alright Applejack, you can call me by my name by the way. I told you it didn’t I?”

“Yeah, ya did. I’ve just been saying sugarcube for so long that it kind of sticks.”

“Almost forgot to thank you, Applejack. Thanks. I’ll go look for a train now.”

 

Edited September 29, 2012 by ZomBrony