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The Guide to Arguing on the Internet.


Lady Rarity Pony

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Okay, guys and gals. I know you all like arguing on the internet, so I'm going to help you improve your argument skills.

 

First, you'll need to be able to spot logical fallacies.

 

Here they are:

 

Ad hominem: This means that the person disagreed with you. Right there, he loses the debate.

 

Strawman argument: This means you don't like the person's argument, probably because it disagrees with you - see ad hominem definition - which automatically discredits his argument.

 

Being male: Not being a woman means you can't possibly have any idea what you're talking about should the discussion pertain to women or something 'female'.

 

Argument from authority: This means you took the time to properly source your claims. Involving people with credentials on the matter automatically discredits your argument.

 

Argument from logic: This means your opponent pointed out major flaws in your argument. Just respond and say there are no flaws. That automatically makes them lose.

 

Okay, that's all you need to know about logical fallacies. If you see any of them make sure to consistently invoke them whenever you want to win.

 

 

Now for some tips on debating.

 

Always use A.D.D. methodology. This means that even after you receive a response to a provocative question you just pretend there has never been an answer. This way it makes it look like your opponents have never been smart enough to respond.

 

Create an unfalsifiable and arbitrary argument. For example, say only A causes C. But when it's mentioned that B also causes C just as much, if not more, than A, then just say B is really just a different version of A. That way A always causes C.

 

Keep changing the subject. When you realize you're gonna lose, just quickly invoke another subject. That way the other person has trouble responding to both.

 

Use vague terminology and definitions. This way if the other person corners you, you can just accuse them of an equivocation fallacy.

 

Sound persecuted. It helps you look favorable.

 

Insist that you've never had a good objection to your premise. This way it looks like it's true.

 

Always take advantage of humility. When the other person has a better response, just try to look humble and say the other person is arrogant for thinking he knows the answer. That way he looks bad.

 

 

 

Now that we have all the basics down you're all ready to argue on the Internet. Abide by these tips and tricks and you're sure to get a round of applause from everyone who agrees with you.

 

Good luck.

  • Brohoof 12
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Could have saved a crap ton of time and just done something along the lines of:

 

A: Lady Rarity is always right.

 

B: If you have a differeing opinion, see A.

  • Brohoof 4
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l00k i kno dis is ur thred n all but u dnt need 2 act lyke ur rite wit wat u say 4 attenshun

 

Are you feeling okay? JK.

dis iz da argumentzs posz zo szomeaone cAn ki!! meh.

Edited by Random Sushi
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So I just want some clarification here. There's this one mom on youtube who is being a complete moron when she keeps telling me that France is in Europe. I have a response written out, and I guess I'll let you guys look at it before I post it up.

 

I have told you this again AND AGAIN! France is not in Europe! It's a damned state! I have straight As in high school and I have been accepted into Harvard and sick scum like you are the reason why America's failing in terms of education and the economy. Plus, you're a god damned girl get back to making sandwiches because lets be honest that's all idiots like you who don't seem to grasp elementary geography are good for. If you harass me or my fraternity again regarding this issue I will contact youtube and you will be banned for good.

 

Have a nice day, you walking fallacy!

Are there any issues here?

  • Brohoof 3
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I'm going to continue responding to you just to see how long it takes you to accept that you've lost this debate.

 

haha ya rite me rong? not possible

 

ur a "lady" rarity so ur a girl and girls r alwys rong anyway

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The dummies (n00bs) guide to starting winning arguments on da intawebz

 

1. Say sumthin st00pid and c0ntreversial

2. mispel evryting, 0nly dum ppl spel c0rectly

3. Cal evrting u h8 gay and st00pid

4. use numbas rader dan wirds

5. USE CAPZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. 0 is c00ler dan o.

 

 

 

Congratulations, you know now how to start an argument on the internet!

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Posted Image

The only argument you will ever need.

 

Another article for the Arguing On the Internet handbook: If you are religious and express your beliefs online, and someone disagrees with you, you must ride circular reasoning all the way to a preconceived victory while randomly quoting Bible verses, as if they're supposed to mean something to people who do not hold the Bible sacred.

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So I just want some clarification here. There's this one mom on youtube who is being a complete moron when she keeps telling me that France is in Europe. I have a response written out, and I guess I'll let you guys look at it before I post it up.

 

 

 

Are there any issues here?

 

Hmm looking pretty good. You have the appeal to your authority, how she is a ruiner of society, how her background/genes are inferior, threats and insults. You might want to change the first few lines to something like "I want to help you understand where France is but as I have told you this again..." continued same as above, that way you get sympathy right off the bat for trying to help this poor soul.

 

Another thing is never ask nor accept advice. Asking or accepting makes you appear fallible which as a winner you should know you never are. That you might not know something may make others think that you may not know more stuff which can discredit your entire platform. If someone offers good advice out of the blue say something to the effect of that you already knew that and belittle them a bit for even suggesting something that anyone with half a brain would have already known. Shows off your superior intellect while discouraging challengers who know they could never compete with such an advanced debating style.

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So in other words pull out a dictionary and bombard them with a shovel loads of big words until they shut the buck up.

 

And remember.. CAPS LOCK = YELLING!!!!!!

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