What Was Once Ours

[Zaquiop 7]

Alright well, I am currently, slowly writing this fanfic, and am up to the second chapter. Before I went anywhere else with this to try and show it off I wanted to post it here to try and get a little more input and feedback. So, obviously, I would love it if anyone who comes across this and reads it would leave me with some information about how it was.

 

Also, I originally wrote this on Google docs, and I much prefer that formatting to anything else, so I'm just going to drop a link to the story there for you guys, rather than copy paste the entire thing into this thread. I figured it would be too hard to keep things organized if I did.

 

So, without further ado, I give you "What Was Once Ours"

 

Chapter 1:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nwPltHCq4oqkJjjuRDDePB-GPdcNUjum7Ods21HATw8/edit

 

Chapter 2:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fxTTQ5zEEcaFPtiV1Pk7pLfJpQnh521D5rZU50r6t44/edit

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

I really like your writing style, definitely heads and shoulders above the average fanfic stuff. My main problem is, that I can't see this scenario taking place. Apart from the fact that Luna, Celestia the Mane Six and Shining Armor&Cadence are still present, I'm sure they would be suspicious of a wave of unknown immigrants and even then, Twilight should be able to devise a farming plan to avoid famine.

However, if you set this in Equestria between the founding and the arrival of Discord, I would be all over this. The protagonists could be some other wielders of the Elements (Always liked the idea that they started out as just some gems Clover picked up in the cave and gave to the other leaders to seal the new alliance).

[CloudFyre 848]

Very nicely done! Stellar grammar, and only one or two punctuation errors here and there. Usually I'm not one for destroyed/rebuild Equestria stuff, but I like what you did with it!