Ask your glorious and radiant goddess

[Tiaaaaa 174]

So it seems Luna didn't take things well after all. She banished me to the sun. THE SUN. Do you know how hot it gets up there? No you don't because you haven't been there. It sucks. New decree. Anyone who complains about how hot it is gets BANISHED TO THE SUN.

 

Oh, wait, this was about something else wasn't it... Oh, yes. After a little over a year I have finally made my return. Did you miss me MLPforums? You all may begin the fabulous parade as soon as you're ready. In the meantime your wonderful princess has seen fit to answer some of your petty questions. Bring them forth and let the unceasing worship begin.

[I used to be a stranger 7,988]

Why are you a vague tinge of pink?

[Tiaaaaa 174]

Why are you a vague tinge of pink?

Can't imagine what you're talking about. Your eyes must be playing tricks on you. Your regal princess is nothing but the most radiant and pure of whites.

 

...Or perhaps you've been looking at those figurines for too long. I'll have to make a note to have their creator sent back to the moon once his banishment is over...

[TheLionPaladin 164]

Is princess molestia anything like you in traits?

[Tiaaaaa 174]

Is princess molestia anything like you in traits?

Princess Molestia?! That imposter's still loose?! How do you know? Who sent you? It was Twilight, wasn't it. Oh I'll have to have words with my 'faithful' student later...

 

And just for the record, I have nothing in common with that imposter.

NOTHING.

AT ALL.

DOST THOU DISAGREE?

Go ahead. I dare you.

[TheLionPaladin 164]

Er..... Okay... Um.... What will you do to twilight? A detention? Lines? Make her run a marathon?

[Tiaaaaa 174]

Er..... Okay... Um.... What will you do to twilight? A detention? Lines? Make her run a marathon?

Things. Indeed will things be done. To Twilight.

 

I hear that being locked in a dungeon in the place your banished to is quite a trendy thing among ponies right now. Or was that something else...

 

...Oh. OH! You were expecting THAT sort of answer, were you? My, my how daring of you to ask such a question of your princess. Although I can tell you that WILL be the answer if this Molestia problem isn't handled properly. What DOES a princess have to do to get some service around here? ...don't answer that.

Edited November 30, 2012 by Tiaaaaa

[TheLionPaladin 164]

Well in... NEXT QUESTION! What is your favorite fruit

[Tiaaaaa 174]

Well in... NEXT QUESTION! What is your favorite fruit

Allow me to answer your question with a question of my own. Do you like bananas?

 

Wait! Where'd everyone go? I just wanted to know.

[TheLionPaladin 164]

AHAHA! Thats molestia's favorite fruit as well. So...are you secretly best buds with Molestia?

[Tiaaaaa 174]

AHAHA! Thats molestia's favorite fruit as well. So...are you secretly best buds with Molestia?

[Amelia Monocle 112]

hey princess, what were your parents like? what were their names? what did they do? did one raise the sun and the other the moon? what were their cutie marks, were they the same as yours? what did they look like? what happened to them? how old were they? were they good rulers? were they even rulers? did they come from space? if you found discord controlling equestria, were did you and your parents come from? I DEMAND THAT YOU ANSWER ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS, if you don't it just proves that you aren't as all knowing as you think you are.  <_<

[Tiaaaaa 174]

hey princess, what were your parents like? what were their names?

 

Well, you see...

 

hey princess, what were your parents like? what were their names? what did they do? did one raise the sun and the other the moon? what were their cutie marks, were they the same as yours? what did they look like? what happened to them? how old were they? were they good rulers? were they even rulers? did they come from space?

Hold up here! I may have to institute a new one question per pony law. Hmm, new rule, everyone. Everypony is only allowed to ask one question. Ever. In their entire life. I imagine this will make learning in school more difficult, but that's alright because if you had to ask questions in school then you obviously didn't want to learn anyway. Don't question your princess's logic! It is flawless! And this decree is NOT hasty or reactionary. When you come to realize how much more difficult your lives have become take solace in the fact that your princess is no longer annoyed at one single circumstance that happened long, long ago.

 

...On second thought, scratch that. That's a stupid idea. Wasn't I supposed to be doing something? Oh, right. My parents. You see, like most dictators beloved rulers I was born from the union of the sun and moon. It was a torrid affair, let me tell you. The other celestial bodies were furious. Now I know what you're thinking. "But, oh great and beautiful Celestia, didn't you write in your autobiography that you created the sun and your sister created the moon and stars (with a great deal of help from you of course)." And, yes, yes I did. You are completely and totally correct. It may seem strange to you that what brought me into being are the very things I created with my own powerful magic but that's because you are, understandably, not as beautiful or wise as your benevolent princess. I don't expect mere mortal ponies to understand but perhaps it is some consolation for you to know that it's more proof that Celestia is eternal and Celestia is always. ALWAYS.

 

Also the sun's cutie mark is a banana and the moon's is three slices of cheese. Very few people know that.

 

if you found discord controlling equestria, were did you and your parents come from?

 

DISCORD! SHE SAID DISCORD! YOU ALL HEARD IT! Me-dammit didn't I pass a law saying nopony was ever to talk about Discord ever again under penalty of death? I'm pretty sure I did. What? I didn't? You sure? Well, new rule then! Take her to the dungeon!

 

...

 

Guards! Dungeon!

 

...

 

They'll be here. Just, uh, stand where you are for a while. Yep. Don't, like, move or anything because you are totally doomed. Totally no point in trying to escape your fate. Yeah...

 

 

I DEMAND THAT YOU ANSWER ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS, if you don't it just proves that you aren't as all knowing as you think you are.  <_<

 

BLASHPEMY! She's questioning her un-aging princess! To the dungeon with her! What do you mean I've already sentenced her to the dungeon? Death too, huh? Well double-dungeon her then! What do you mean you can't do that? It's simple! Take her to the dngeon, let her out and then dungeon her again! It is NOT a stupid idea. To the dungeon with you too! Hmph, Suppose I'll be needing a new advisor too, then.

[Amelia Monocle 112]

Well, you see...

 

Hold up here! I may have to institute a new one question per pony law. Hmm, new rule, everyone. Everypony is only allowed to ask one question. Ever. In their entire life. I imagine this will make learning in school more difficult, but that's alright because if you had to ask questions in school then you obviously didn't want to learn anyway. Don't question your princess's logic! It is flawless! And this decree is NOT hasty or reactionary. When you come to realize how much more difficult your lives have become take solace in the fact that your princess is no longer annoyed at one single circumstance that happened long, long ago.

 

...On second thought, scratch that. That's a stupid idea. Wasn't I supposed to be doing something? Oh, right. My parents. You see, like most dictators beloved rulers I was born from the union of the sun and moon. It was a torrid affair, let me tell you. The other celestial bodies were furious. Now I know what you're thinking. "But, oh great and beautiful Celestia, didn't you write in your autobiography that you created the sun and your sister created the moon and stars (with a great deal of help from you of course)." And, yes, yes I did. You are completely and totally correct. It may seem strange to you that what brought me into being are the very things I created with my own powerful magic but that's because you are, understandably, not as beautiful or wise as your benevolent princess. I don't expect mere mortal ponies to understand but perhaps it is some consolation for you to know that it's more proof that Celestia is eternal and Celestia is always. ALWAYS.

 

Also the sun's cutie mark is a banana and the moon's is three slices of cheese. Very few people know that.

 

 

DISCORD! SHE SAID DISCORD! YOU ALL HEARD IT! Me-dammit didn't I pass a law saying nopony was ever to talk about Discord ever again under penalty of death? I'm pretty sure I did. What? I didn't? You sure? Well, new rule then! Take her to the dungeon!

 

...

 

Guards! Dungeon!

 

...

 

They'll be here. Just, uh, stand where you are for a while. Yep. Don't, like, move or anything because you are totally doomed. Totally no point in trying to escape your fate. Yeah...

 

 

 

BLASHPEMY! She's questioning her un-aging princess! To the dungeon with her! What do you mean I've already sentenced her to the dungeon? Death too, huh? Well double-dungeon her then! What do you mean you can't do that? It's simple! Take her to the dngeon, let her out and then dungeon her again! It is NOT a stupid idea. To the dungeon with you too! Hmph, Suppose I'll be needing a new advisor too, then.

 

ok i'm out of the dungeon... but i'm kind of under a whimsical looking guillotine, so, if you could... NOT behead me that would be great, it would really prove how great and forgiving you are... and did i mention pretty? i mean beautiful? um, i mean divine? it's true you know i'm not just saying that... i mean there's your mane... its very colourful, and it's always flowing... it just shows how rich and majestic you are!! i mean it must cost millions to have someone carry that giant fan behind you wherever you go! and you really are very wise, because you clearly saw right through my words and realised i was j-joking when i said all of that nonsense, i mean, everyone knows you are the supreme ruler of equestria, no, the world, no the universe!!!! and i didn't know the sun and moon even have cutiemarks! your knowledge is great and vast so we mere mortal ponies cannot even comprehend it! ... so, can i go home now, not that i was saying all of that because i didn't want to be beheaded, but you know, seeing as you are so serene and incredible of an idle you would surely let me go?

[Tiaaaaa 174]

ok i'm out of the dungeon... but i'm kind of under a whimsical looking guillotine, so, if you could... NOT behead me that would be great, it would really prove how great and forgiving you are... and did i mention pretty? i mean beautiful? um, i mean divine? it's true you know i'm not just saying that... i mean there's your mane... its very colourful, and it's always flowing... it just shows how rich and majestic you are!! i mean it must cost millions to have someone carry that giant fan behind you wherever you go! and you really are very wise, because you clearly saw right through my words and realised i was j-joking when i said all of that nonsense, i mean, everyone knows you are the supreme ruler of equestria, no, the world, no the universe!!!! and i didn't know the sun and moon even have cutiemarks! your knowledge is great and vast so we mere mortal ponies cannot even comprehend it! ... so, can i go home now, not that i was saying all of that because i didn't want to be beheaded, but you know, seeing as you are so serene and incredible of an idle you would surely let me go?

 

Now that's more of an attitude befitting one of my subjects! Okay, let her go about her business. She's obviously seen the error of her ways. In fact, now that you've turned your attitude around, and seeing as you have a monocle, I happen to find myself out an adviser. Perhaps you'd fare better in such a position?

 

...I'm tempted to turn my order back around now just to see the look on your face but I remember the last time we had to clean pony blood off the palace floor. The place smelled like cotton candy for weeks! Okay, new order! No more executions in the royal throne room. I'm not entirely sure who thought that was a good idea in the first place.

[Flying Ace 142]

alright princess I've got a question for you...have you head of slendermane? how could you stop him from taking/killing your subjects?

[Princess_Molestia 1,460]

ooohhhh ho ho ho ho... yes... god yes

[Tiaaaaa 174]

alright princess I've got a question for you...have you head of slendermane? how could you stop him from taking/killing your subjects?

 

Slendermane... Slendermane... Why does that sound so familiar? I'm sure I've heard it somewhere but I just can't seem to remember. Oh well. Must not have been important.

 

ooohhhh ho ho ho ho... yes... god yes

 

You! What are you doing out of your cage?! What's she doing out of her cage? I thought we had rules here, ponies!

[Flying Ace 142]

Slendermane... Slendermane... Why does that sound so familiar? I'm sure I've heard it somewhere but I just can't seem to remember. Oh well. Must not have been important.

 

 

You! What are you doing out of your cage?! What's she doing out of her cage? I thought we had rules here, ponies!

Ooooooooo I wasn't suppose to open that? *inhales* yeah I thought that was the bathroom. hehehe im just going to walk myself out...

[Commander Urdnot 2,680]

Why am I so freaken awesome?

[Princess_Molestia 1,460]

Slendermane... Slendermane... Why does that sound so familiar? I'm sure I've heard it somewhere but I just can't seem to remember. Oh well. Must not have been important.

 

 

You! What are you doing out of your cage?! What's she doing out of her cage? I thought we had rules here, ponies!

We are one... we must join... be one...

 

one of us... one of us!

[Jeddaven 42]

Why did you do it, Princess Celestia? They know.

 

Oh, also, every statue in Equestria is a weeping angel (http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Weeping_Angel). Your move. Check and mate, courtesy of Molestia.

Edited December 11, 2012 by Jeddaven

[Tiaaaaa 174]

Ooooooooo I wasn't suppose to open that? *inhales* yeah I thought that was the bathroom. hehehe im just going to walk myself out...

 

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Why is this such a problem around here? Alright, another new law! All bathrooms in the palace will be clearly marked as such. Oh! And we can mark them based on what gender they're for too! That should cut down on the issue of people walking into the wrong bathrooms all the time you all keep suing me about. Two birds with one stone. Ah I'm such a genius.

 

 

Why am I so freaken awesome?

 

Oh, that's an easy one! Because you're my subject, of course. You're just that freakin' awesome. Just like everyone else.

 

We are one... we must join... be one...

 

one of us... one of us!

 

Oh no you don't! I already tried that once! I was itching in places a pony should not itch for months afterwards and I'm pretty sure some of the things we did were probably illegal in the griffon empire. And the dragon lands. And Zebrafrica. And... Well, just about everywhere, actually.

 

...Then again, it was kinda fun.

 

 

Why did you do it, Princess Celestia? They know.

 

No they don't. They'll never know! No one will ever know! No one must ever know! I'll take my life before letting you find out!

...Actually nevermind. Why kill myself when I can just kill everyone else?

 

 

Oh, also, every statue in Equestria is a weeping angel (http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Weeping_Angel). Your move. Check and mate, courtesy of Molestia.

 

They always were. Really, why did you think I had them installed in the first place?

[Jeddaven 42]

That's true. That's true. They do make a great defence.

[Tiaaaaa 174]

That's true. That's true. They do make a great defence.

 

Defence? Huh... I never even considered that. I just liked laughing when ponies went missing and turned up again 50 or 60 years older. HIL-arious. Bonus points if they had no friends or family to miss them.

 

Oh, you mean against Dr. Whooves! Yes, I do suppose they do a good job of keeping her distracted.