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Why Do You Keep Going?


The Stranger

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What keeps me going?

Honestly I have no bucking clue.  I don't know what i'm going to do in life, I am in near constant pain from multiple sources, I have to deal with huge stress problems.  

All I know is that I can't bring myself to think about ending it

My family doesn't think I have a problem.

There's just this nagging feeling that says I have to go on.

You sound like you have a lot of stuff going for you.  Traits I'd like to have.

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I've procrastinated long enough.  Time for me to chime in.  

 

My friends. Both real life and online. With one exception, I feel closer in beliefs, values, and shared interests to my online friends than real life. But as much as I value my Internet contacts, I would never dismiss the importance of the physical interaction and shared activities that only come with real life buddies. There is just too much that can't be experienced over a phone line. If I was forced to choose, I would give up my online friends first. But in the end, both my RL and online friends play a role in keeping me going.

 

My job. For a couple of years I was out of college AND out of work. With no real routine or structure to my life, I became aimless and lethargic. Ongoing employment provides the security of a steady income and forces me to interact with the real world even on days I'm not really in the mood for it. It may sound like a corny joke, but having a job really DOES keep me out of trouble! You may have heard this saying: “Everybody brings bring joy to the office. Some when they enter. Others when they leave.” Because we spend one third of our adult lives at work, it is always my goal to be one of the former.

 

My pets. I own two cats and my roommate ones a third. But as long as we're living together, they're our cats for all practical purposes. I've always loved animals and now I don't remember what life was like when I was petless. The best part is, they're all friendly and forgiving. Even when they have to go to the vet or have something done to them they don't like, they never hold it against us. And anytime my roommate and I are in the same room, all three cats usually join us.

 

My faith. I am a Christian and thanks to that I will never be without a sense of purpose or direction. One of my most sincere hopes is for as many people as possible to experience the all-encompassing love that God has for us. My faith also underlies all the other reasons I have for helping others.

 

MLP and MLP Forums. OK, this may sound like a shameless plug. And, to be sure, it's not as important as anything I listed above. But it is still something significant which keeps me going. This is one of my favorite cartoons ever and it has a chance to emerge as the number one cartoon of my life. And this website is an incredible outlet for expressing my own thoughts on MLP and hearing what others have to say. Signing up for the Forums is one of the best decisions I ever made.

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I'm thinking about my life right now.

I have no friends in person, i haven't hung out with my best friend for almost 2 years which doesn't acknowledge i even exist anymore, i can't focus on school which i'm most likely gonna fail and never graduate, i haven't had a dad in 13 years, i never had a ''normal childhood''. My back has crushed my dreams of becoming an Air Force pilot or even joining the marines, half of my family doesn't even live in the same state, i'm losing my relationship with my own mother and my only best friends live 1000's of miles away from me.

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What keeps me going?

Hate, fear, and the knowledge that one glorious day, my mistake of a life will be over.

 

I stop myself going mad with despair by selectively caring and not caring. I eat food I like, I never eat something I can't stand just because it's healthy or deny myself something for the opposite reason. I don't care about my appearance, so I'll dress how I like. 

I also get into things (books, video games, internet use) to focus my mind on something other than myself. It can badly effect me at times. For example,  I once finished work at 9am, was home for 9.30 and was on my laptop till around 7pm. After I got off, I realized I had no idea what my mothers name was, I knew I had job, but I didn't know what it was.

My brain needs to go on screen saver mood at times, and I have no idea where I can get weed.

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What keeps me going? That used to be a hard question but now I guess I've started living by my own little motto which is You Never Know Where Life Is Going To Take You. Every day is a new adventure, and I want to keep living to see where things are going to turn out. Every day even if things are planned out, you don't know what is going to happen. It's intriguing.

Another thing that keeps me going is my dreams and hobbies. I adore the things that I study/do and I love to learn new things. I have a lot of places I want to go to and things I want to do, and the fact that someday I will do everything i've always wished for is enough to allow me to wake up every morning and get out of bed.

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What keeps me going well, truthfully music. Now that may sound generic, but if I didn't have music to listen to, I do not know what I would do. Music has always been such a big part of my life, from playing instruments to just rocking out with my speakers, music gives me something that really I do not get from other things. Secondly, friends and family, they are supportive and what not, but really accept me for everything I am. 

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The main thing that forces me to go on is hope and dreams. I hope that my dream will come true. I dream that when I grow up I'll live in a semi-remote place surrounded by nature and animals where I'll have a pet fox (or maybe even two), a beautiful and understanding wife that will be loyal to me no matter what and a couple of kids that will hopefully grow up strong and courageous. I dream and hope that one day I'll become sociable again and make at least a few friends. And those are the things that still keep me motivated - dreams.

Edited by Freckle
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"Why do you keep going?"

Well thats quite a personal question you are asking there

 

I have had many, many very bad things happen in my life, I've been close to suicide twice before, But I've never done anything to harm myself.. Yet.

 

The Reason I keep going is because I know I can be cured somehow, and I am determined to find my way to heal and be happy again.

(Not much to it, Really)

Edited by Sweet Innocence
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What keeps me going, there are several things that have kept me going. Family is constant, no matter what happens, i can always rely on my family. Cars and video games kept me entertained and happy for a long time and still do. Nerf was also a hobby that kept me entertained, also just the youtube part of it, back when i was really active.. I was planning on becoming a famous nerfer, but ran out of money before that happened. Also, many people from the nerfing community started to take a break from it due to financial reasons, although some of them are back now. Nerfing did almost the same thing as mlp did for me, it gave me something to look forward too, i felt like i was a part of a group. That's where mlp comes in, it had it all. It gave me something to look forward too, it gave me the feeling of unity, which was a lot for me. The difference is, mlp is not as expensive as nerf was. I can actually be active without spending a lot of money, also just seeing all the talent in this fandom.. Made me want to try out my own talents, i had no talent in art or music.. But i didn't let it stop me, i kept going.. Untill one day, i finally managed to make a drawing that looked semi-show realistic. I would never have done that if it wasn't for mlp and the fandom. What keeps me going right now is actually just everything really, i'm more positive then i was before. Life isn't easy, everyone knows that but mlp has made it a lot easier..

 

When your life is as dull a gray as the world that surrounds you, the mundanities can make it all seem meaningless. Sometimes all we need is a little color -- or six -- to reintroduce us to what truly makes life worth living. -my little dashie.

Edited by Fluttershyfan94
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Truthfully there are three things that keep me going on:

 

Courage: I feel as if I can't give up on myself, thats just not in my nature and I want to go on with my life, always keeping my head up and not afraid of what is to come.

 

Loyalty: I couldn't leave my friends behind, not without me. It wouldn't be fair on them and Id do anything for them.

 

Friends: This is arguably the most important to me. These are the people who i love and adore and keep me going from day to day.

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You know, I've been asking myself that for years now despite being what a grumpy old man would call a whippersnapper even though I'm old enough to buy beer. I've thought about it a lot, sometimes just consuming my mind like a plague with no regard to any form of escapism thrown its way. Just constant, rhythmic banging that doesn't stop. It used to be to pay back debt, be it understood or outstanding owed to all that I know and society at large. Even that is a fading dream now. For me, it all boils down to my biological fear of death.

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  • 10 months later...

What keeps me going? I wish I knew. I tell everypony that its because so many need me.. or so I can help others etc etc. but truth be told I don't know anymore.. I guess I never knew. 

 

Maybe its because I'm to much of a coward to end my own life, maybe its because the one time I did die, that place I went to was just so horrible... I don't want to go back.. or maybe some higher power is keeping me here for some kind of a sick joke. 

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I just put one foot in front of the other and keep going. I don't know why I do, but I do and I won't stop. I don't even have any dreams or ambitions. I could die tomorrow and be perfectly happy.

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Probably my mom and dad, even though I have a difficult relationship with them mainly due to them fighting with each other and launching another cold war. But in times when I feel like I can't handle things any longer, they're mainly the reason for me to keep going. I just don't want to upset them or make them disappoint them, since I'm their only child. 

But I need to come out and grow up, and I just don't feel I can become independent or learn to take care of myself when I'm around them. They give me almost everything I want, and even though its nice, it's just not reality. And that's why the future and hope also keeps me going. Because I want to believe that I can change and grow into a more independent person that can stand her own battles instead of relying on others. Also I just can't sit and cry over the fact that my friends and family will all be gone one day and live alone for the rest of my life, isolating myself from the outer world because of loss and sadness. I just don't want to become that kind of a person. 

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I'm not brave (or reckless, depending on your viewpoint) to kill myself so I have no option but to keep going.

 

I absolutely fear the future, every night I'm usually sat in my bed in tears with worry but there is something that stops me from being able to go through with suicide every single time I've tried.

 

Right now though, meeting up with Kyoshi one day is what keeps my outlook on the future positive!

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Unlike quite a few unfortunate people, I actually have a pretty smooth life despite my weirdness. I was honestly born into the perfect conditions with the right personality traits. My parents are extremely generous and caring (haven't even been so much as spanked in YEARS if that says anything), I have quite a few kind and generous friends, and I am a part of so many fandoms that have honestly made me a great person.

 

But I haven't always been my happiest. Just a note, what I'm about to say is going to make me sound really spoiled and really self-centered. Hate me at your own risk.

 

In ninth grade (two years ago), I was placed in an Advanced program known as "Pre-IB" for school. School had been EXTREMELY easy for all the time before that, and I was ready for some smooth sailing. But my grades plopped when it turns out ninth grade is the most brutal thing ever. So my parents took things away from me. TV, video games, my phone... and to make matters worse, at the school I was at, I didn't have too many friends, so for quite a while I was at a complete loss. I had no means of communication with my older friends, no escapes to go to, no one to really confine in (I tend to keep my problems to myself around friends); that was probably the first time I ever had any sort of depression. And in case you need to know, yes, I did consider suicide several times.

 

And now, to the point of this thread: What kept me going? Well, for starters, even as I laid there in bed crying at my loneliness and deprivation, I knew things could have been much, much, much, MUCH worse. I'd had online friends and heard many stories by that point in my life so I knew I was a lucky kid. I couldn't go for reasons so petty.

 

But the thought still crossed my mind, so naturally one reason wasn't it. Another reason was the thought that people were there for me, wanting me to stay alive. Even though I couldn't communicate with them, they were waiting for me. I told them I was gone, and they were prepared to wait it out. Of course, RPs went on without me over the internet, and it hurt that I wasn't playing the big part in them that I desperately wanted to, but still, they waited. It was a... pleasant thought, really.

 

But most importantly, were my parents. They were the ones who took those things from me, and it scared me. On so many occasions, I wanted not to speak to them, but I could never make it to dinner-time silent. What really kept me going were the lectures I got from my Dad. He'd spend so much time scolding me for my bad grades and occasionally sneaking Internet time, but while he spoke to me... he held back tears. His voice would crack, his eyes would get wet and heavy... and to be honest, it hurt. It hurt that I was hurting my Dad... the man who supported me all my life... in such a serious way. My failure was hurting him. Honestly, how could I leave the world knowing that would be the last emotion I'd see from him?

 

Sorry for the wall of text. I just felt very ranty today. Feel free to ignore this if you want, but I wanted to get these emotions out somewhere. Anywho, there's my means of going on. Sorry for not really being troubled or anything, really, and I hope the problems for everypony else here get better.

 

And I hope nopony here is as spoiled as I am.

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What keeps me going? The fact of knowing that I have friends who accept me for who I am and care for what happens. That and the hope that I will someday make a difference in this world by making people smile and stand up for themselves when someone has pinned them down, I hate seeing people vulnerable and so weakened by others like that, and I want people to see that they have power in what's happening.

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Honestly, my life isn't bad at all. I'm treated well and my family will be doing well with money, assuming I don't spend a whole bunch every week on videogames, a habit that I have under control.

 

The reason I live is...

 

Fear I keep living because I want to live. While my family's religion is Catholic, I'm still unsure. We may believe in a Heaven, but part of me is saying that there's a chance that it's not true.

 

What if I died? Would my consciousness disappear? How would that feel? Peaceful? Would it drive me inside.

The idea of "not being" scares me.

 

As a friend - While I live, of course still in fear of dying, I live for others. I want to be a person people can come to in order to talk to when there is nobody else they can talk to about something. I don't care for my health as much as I do for others'.

 

Love - There is a girl I love as well as a family I love. I want to spend time with them all and I want to spend my life with that girl. I want to make a family, a powerful dream that I have. It's a major driving part of my life.

 

Videogames - Videogames are my passion. I enjoy them. I enjoy the thrill of battling, or a way of having fun with friends. I've played videogames ever since fourth grade, and I still continue to play it. I'm a dedicated gamer.

 

Anime - I love anime. Why? It's fun... entertaining. It's something that appeals to my eyes, and in most cases, my ears. Not only is anime entertaining, but a lot of my life and morals have been shaped by anime. Anime has brought me to appreciate friends, family, videogames, and music more than I would have without it in my life.

The stories in the anime I've seen have all been beautiful. All except School Days and Hetalia at least.

Edited by Xievie
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I keep going because there is a possibility that it will get better for me. As unlikely as it seems, perhaps there is a small slither of hope. There probably is a light at the end of this dark tunnel known as my life, or it is just a hallucination and I will never see the light. Either way, I will press on. I will just have to see how it turns out. Though, I know it won't turn out well for me, might as well see how bad it gets or perhaps good, depending on if life is fair to me.

Edited by SmartyPants
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I have two main things that keep me going. First, my relationships with those close to me. I have a supportive family, great friends, and an amazing boyfriend. I feel like there's usually at least one of these people who I can turn to when I'm feeling down, and besides; I'm really happy to have so many good people in my life. Still, that isn't to say my life is without problems, since I've had to go through some pretty tough things in the past. Anyway, my second thing is a little different. There are so many things in this world that I want to experience before I'm gone, and I'm the kind of person who really likes to accomplish their goals. Recently, the biggest thing that I've wanted to experience is traveling around Europe, so I do hope I'll be able to do that someday in the near future. :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

What keeps me going, is the knowledge that God has a plan for my life, and will see me through it. In good times and bad, He will always be there for me. And the satisfaction of hopefully being able to tell others of His love so that we can be in heaven together with Him once this passing breeze of life is no more.  :squee:

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My family are huge, we have a lot of money which is great! We have food we have good shelter for winter and we can afford pretty much. Only thing i´ve always had i just can´t make friends in real life..only in the imaginary life like the *network*.

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