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Opinions on guys and crying?


Zygen

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There's a fine line.  Be tough and don't cry are ways to teach kids that life will be hard and you need to have thick skin and be able to press on.  People just forget to tell them it's okay to cry at the same time.  Clearly there's nothing inherently wrong with it, but there is a point where crying doesn't get you anything and you need to suck it up and drive on.  Life won't wait.

 

But people cry and you have to let yourself sometimes.  Had a friend die while we were in Iraq.  Wasn't a dry eye in the entire Battalion.  Guys that I looked up to as the most badass of men broke down.  My friends that I had trained with and gone through so much terrible shit, and never seen them cry before, here we all were, just breaking down.  But at the same time, we had one day to really mourn his passing before we had to carry on with the mission.  It hurt the rest of the time we were there and it stills hurts me to this day, but you have to have the strength to press forward even in the wake of tragedy.

 

Crying is not a weakness.  It's an emotional reaction and a very natural and acceptable one.  However, being able to push past those feelings and move on is a great strength.  Never forget the feelings but do not let yourself be overwhelmed.

That's a great point actually. Its kinda reminds me of something that all of my highschool math teachers have been talking about how the middle school teachers taught us this but never told us about the exceptions and just left it like that to avoid confusion.

 

Obviously there is a time for everything, theres a time for mourning and a time where your going to have to move on, it of course isn't always easy though.

 

Fighting against a natural reaction seems kinda crazy anyways. If we didn't have emotions we might as well all be robots anyways.

 

It does kinda bother me that parents seem to have left out that part from most. I guess its to difficult to comprehend for most at the age its taught, and by the time you try to teach its kinda to late.

 

Sorry for your loss btw. And sorry if I brought something back you don't feel comfortable about. I didn't intend for it if thats the case.

 

I honestly can't stand that if we show any emotion were thought of as weak.  I used to cry a lot, and I still cry sometimes, It's bad to hold it in so I don't see why people want to.  I don't care what people think of me anyways.

Well holding stress and emotions inward is actually unhealthy according to what I've read, so I see no reason why you should :P.

Although for alot of people, its becoming so rooted into their mind its almost just a passive habit to not cry, which means society's habits are actually quiet harmful.

 

And what do we say to these perceptions of society, we say neigh! we shall not pay you any mind! return thyselves to the back of Lyra's bookcase!

 

Oh, and f(x) = ln (x) where X is the number of fucks I give is a real number

Isn't F(x) suppose to be a function? Is LN a line? O-o.

 

Does that mean that the number is equal to a line therefore a group of ordered pairs?

 

I am confused....

 

I'll just go with stuffing people in Lyra's bookcase, sounds easier to comprehend :D.

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If a man can take a kick to his crotch without a single tear being shed, then he can be my guest and boast all he wants about how much of a man he is. Otherwise, all the nonsense about masculinity can shove its own throat.

 

Yay I'm being controversial.

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I think it's okay for guys to cry. Of course I never do it. :P I wasn't raised to "share my feelings" or any of that touchy-feely stuff. I used to have bouts of crying in school, but now I only open up when I'm alone. The last time I cried in public was at the terrible job I had last year. I managed to do it without anyone noticing, but that's when I knew I had to get out of there soon. xD

Yeah, most guys aren't really. Atleast I never hear about it, but first sign of emotion in a girl its automatically time for her to open up her emotions.

 

Guys don't really tend to do that type of stuff normally. From my experience.

 

I cried abit at the end of marching season when the seniors all gave their speeches, I think thats the last time I cried in public.

 

If a job was really terrible enough to make you cry, then I imagine that its probably a good thing you got out of there :P.

 

If a man can take a kick to his crotch without a single tear being shed, then he can be my guest and boast all he wants about how much of a man he is. Otherwise, all the nonsense about masculinity can shove its own throat.

 

Yay I'm being controversial.

Interesting way to put it, but I get what you mean :P.

 

I actually heard that getting kicked in the crotch hurts more then birth, although I don't know how that would be measured. I also heard you can die from enough force.

 

But thats a different topic. I get what your saying though.

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I don't see anything wrong for a guy to cry about something. For me when I see a sad part to an anime or in a movie, I will admit that I do start crying. It shows that I became invested in the characters story and when they die or something happens to them, it just makes me feel sad. 

 

Same can be said when you lose a pet, a friend or even a family member. You cared for them a lot and you show that by crying. I don't know if my words make an seance, but that just how I feel about it.

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Crying? I'm okay with it, if something makes you wanna cry, cry about it, let it out I say! Me, I don't cry often, like I wouldn't over pain or anything since I'm pretty physically tough, but if something touches me emotionally in the right way, I will probably cry, the things that have made me cry I really cherish though, it takes quite a bit of emotional weight to do that to me... :(

Ahem, so yeah, crying, totally okay with it. ;)

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I honestly don't cry that much. Nothing that personally saddening has really happened to me. Probably the closest person to me that I've lost is my great Aunt, and even then, while I was sad, I didn't cry. (The first time I heard the song Lost by Coldplay, I shed some tears, because the song really spoke to me when I heard it.)

 

That said, I don't see anything wrong with guys crying. I honestly think you're more secure if you let yourself cry, because you're not afraid to show your true emotions, and it's unhealthy to keep them inside of you.

Edited by Betez
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That's a great point actually. Its kinda reminds me of something that all of my highschool math teachers have been talking about how the middle school teachers taught us this but never told us about the exceptions and just left it like that to avoid confusion.

 

Obviously there is a time for everything, theres a time for mourning and a time where your going to have to move on, it of course isn't always easy though.

 

Fighting against a natural reaction seems kinda crazy anyways. If we didn't have emotions we might as well all be robots anyways.

 

It does kinda bother me that parents seem to have left out that part from most. I guess its to difficult to comprehend for most at the age its taught, and by the time you try to teach its kinda to late.

 

Sorry for your loss btw. And sorry if I brought something back you don't feel comfortable about. I didn't intend for it if thats the case.

 

Well holding stress and emotions inward is actually unhealthy according to what I've read, so I see no reason why you should :P.

Although for alot of people, its becoming so rooted into their mind its almost just a passive habit to not cry, which means society's habits are actually quiet harmful.

 

Isn't F(x) suppose to be a function? Is LN a line? O-o.

 

Does that mean that the number is equal to a line therefore a group of ordered pairs?

 

I am confused....

 

I'll just go with stuffing people in Lyra's bookcase, sounds easier to comprehend :D.

 

MATH NERD TIME!!!!!

 

Ln is the natural log... instead of going into logs right now (because they are both confusing and annoying as all hell) I'll just say that taking the natural log of 0 or anything less that zero doesn't result in an answer, it just doesn't work

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I think it's funny that crying, or having a soft side is seen as weak now. There's some cultures that actually expect that of a warrior, a samurai was expected to be a skilled poet and writer, for example. 

 

I believe anyone can hide their emotions, but to shed tears, that takes real strength. I'm not ashamed to say I read "Finaly Dream of a Filly" and "Comfort in Leaving" and cried enough to water the Sahara. 

Edited by Shoboni
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I don't cry very often, but that's mainly because I don't cry that easily I guess.

 

There has only been one movie that was sad enough that it made me cry. I don't remember the name of it, but it was about a dog and his owner died or something, and it was really sad :(

 

I think it's perfectly fine for guys to cry, it's just showing emotion, which is a good thing I think.

Edited by Champion RD92
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I dont mind a guy crying,but a girl crying these days is common,and (sometimes) getting ridiculous. Most people understand crying if a family member,or a close friend dying,but if it's over something thats not a big deal.Like your 1,000,000th boyfriend/girlfriend breaking up with you even though you've been dating for  3 days.Then...............................................................................something(Yea it's pretty hard to put my opinions in words)

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I don't see anything wrong for a guy to cry about something. For me when I see a sad part to an anime or in a movie, I will admit that I do start crying. It shows that I became invested in the characters story and when they die or something happens to them, it just makes me feel sad. 

 

Same can be said when you lose a pet, a friend or even a family member. You cared for them a lot and you show that by crying. I don't know if my words make an seance, but that just how I feel about it.

Yeah I know what you mean, I actually feel bad sometimes If I don't cry about that type of thing. I feel like I didn't really care for something.

 

I actually kinda feel bad that I didn't cry reading My Little Dashie. Sorta strange way to feel I suppose. I also never cried during the show at any point, even if I felt like I should've sometimes.

 

Heck I never really cried when I had to give my dog away. That made me feel bad for a while, It feels like I didn't show that I cared for him, you know what I mean?

 

I cry over some things of course, although I don't normally cry over something that isn't IRL pertained personally, but I don't of course find anything wrong with it, because if anything I find something wrong with the fact I didn't cry myself.

 

Anyways I'm starting to ramble, I get what you mean though.

 

It's maybe a little sadistic from me, but I find crying guys kinda cute. It just makes you wanna hug them and tell them everything's gonna be alright in the end.

Assuming your a girl thats something that alot of girls tend to do, girls seem to be much more open about comforting someone who's having emotional pains, where as alot of guys aren't going to do that.

 

I like to make people feel better, but I've only have a spare few opportunities IRL. I also wanna hug the ponies whenever they cry.. Does that count? :P?

 

I dunno if its the fact you like them crying, but maybe you just have the good intentions to want to comfort them, which is a good thing I think.

 

Crying? I'm okay with it, if something makes you wanna cry, cry about it, let it out I say! Me, I don't cry often, like I wouldn't over pain or anything since I'm pretty physically tough, but if something touches me emotionally in the right way, I will probably cry, the things that have made me cry I really cherish though, it takes quite a bit of emotional weight to do that to me... :(

Ahem, so yeah, crying, totally okay with it. ;)

Yeah same here, I don't cry that much over things to be honest. It has to be pretty tragic to make me cry.

I'm actually alot more likely to cry over something that just flat out frusterates me or stresses me out then over something sad necessarily. Although I've cried before over things that make me sad.

 

Although I don't cry very often, I have to be tugged in the right way emotionally to cry. And due to the fact I don't get attached to things or people easily its not that common I cry.

 

Still I of course have nothing wrong with it, and I don't like the idea that its considered weak.

 

I honestly don't cry that much. Nothing that personally saddening has really happened to me. Probably the closest person to me that I've lost is my great Aunt, and even then, while I was sad, I didn't cry. (The first time I heard the song Lost by Coldplay, I shed some tears, because the song really spoke to me when I heard it.)

 

That said, I don't see anything wrong with guys crying. I honestly think you're more secure if you let yourself cry, because you're not afraid to show your true emotions, and it's unhealthy to keep them inside of you.

I've never lost anybody through death, so I haven't experienced anything from that perspective of saddening.

I think the most saddening thing would have to be my parents divorcee, I cried over that, but I eventually got over it of course.

 

I've actually had alot more events where i've come close to crying or cried that are simply stressful or frusterating or scary. Like I mentioned crying on one of the first days of public school I had in 8th grade, because I was use to homeschooling and not public school so it was alot of stress and stuff from changing over. I'll save you the sappy story though :P.

 

Everyones going to experience something in their life, and people have to relize we're only human and we're not always going to be able to get over everything by ourselves, and trying to will only hurt you.

 

I really don't see why its considered weak, but thats society's views eh :P.

 

MATH NERD TIME!!!!!

 

Ln is the natural log... instead of going into logs right now (because they are both confusing and annoying as all hell) I'll just say that taking the natural log of 0 or anything less that zero doesn't result in an answer, it just doesn't work

Yeah.. now i'm just a little confused. :P

I'm not even going to try and comprehend. And I use to be a big math nerd :P, now I'm just pretty decent at it.

 

 

I think it's funny that crying, or having a soft side is seen as weak now. There's some cultures that actually expect that of a warrior, a samurai was expected to be a skilled poet and writer, for example. 

 

I believe anyone can hide their emotions, but to shed tears, that takes real strength. I'm not ashamed to say I read "Finaly Dream of a Filly" and "Comfort in Leaving" and cried enough to water the Sahara. 

Yeah I don't really see the weakness in showing emotions, not only is it great to relieve stress, but it shows your not to self concious of what others think.

 

I'll openly admit that I've actually been afraid of being judged for it and therefore not cried before, so I obviously am not saying I have all that much strength myself.

 

I found this quote thats nice that pertains to the subject a bit btw.

"Crying isn't a sign of weakness, since the day you where born its a sign that your alive." No idea who this quotes from anymore :P. Just thought i'd share.

 

I don't cry very often, but that's mainly because I don't cry that easily I guess.

 

There has only been one movie that was sad enough that it made me cry. I don't remember the name of it, but it was about a dog and his owner died or something, and it was really sad :(

 

I think it's perfectly fine for guys to cry, it's just showing emotion, which is a good thing I think.

Dog movies are really sad for me, Proably some of the most emotional movies always involve dogs.

 

I myself don't cry very often, I mean I've watched plenty of movies with sad endings, and I don't ever really cry during them, And to be quiet honest most of the time is I'm afraid of it, even if I know I shouldn't be, I guess that shows how much work I still have to do.

 

I've got watery eyed maybe once or twice though on some movies, can't say I ever flat out bawled out crying though.

 

Its a perfectly natural thing, showing emotions is just showing one of the wonderful things that makes us human, its one of the things that separate's us and robots. So yeah showing emotions is a good thing :)

 

I dont mind a guy crying,but a girl crying these days is common,and (sometimes) getting ridiculous. Most people understand crying if a family member,or a close friend dying,but if it's over something thats not a big deal.Like your 1,000,000th boyfriend/girlfriend breaking up with you even though you've been dating for  3 days.Then...............................................................................something(Yea it's pretty hard to put my opinions in words)

I understand what you mean, there is some people who take it to far. And no offense to girls, but most of them are girls.

However there's a difference between drama queens and people who just show emotions, some people just use it for attention and the such though and just cry over everything, which isn't good in my opinion.

 

I think if we could have that happy medium between drama queen's and the most "Soul hardened" guys that sounds like about the right place to be from an emotional standpoint.

 

Thats my opinion though, I think in general there are many things that girls do that guys could learn from, and vise versa.

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I agree. Real men can aren't afraid to show emotion (You know, but not to excess). I mean, when someone dies, it the man supposed to just stand there with a stone-cold emotionless face and turn away to live the rest of his life out? No. I know that's a more extreme example, but sad things can happen, and to not show emotion is almost non-human.

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but if it's over something thats not a big deal

 

That is a point. In a childhood our parents use to told as that crying - is a weak. The problem is they rarely explain reason to that.

Okay now why nopony speak about reason of cry?

For my opinion any gender can cry about something that bring up some sadness or other well... how to say ... "sad emotions" - loneless, lost of something, somebody, useless, e.t.c. But not bring to physic pain for example - The parents keep talking about this sort of cry - and man have to face physical "discomfort" with a stone face.

The same one about rediculous reasons. You can cry if you lost your pet. You loved him, you have care about him and ... just sad. But you will simply looks rediculous crying over some pet of third uncle nephew fifth unknown neighbor out of the house. This is none of your business, there is not hurt you much, there is simply not hurt you.

At least there is just my view.

Edited by IceBeerG
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I agree. Real men can aren't afraid to show emotion (You know, but not to excess). I mean, when someone dies, it the man supposed to just stand there with a stone-cold emotionless face and turn away to live the rest of his life out? No. I know that's a more extreme example, but sad things can happen, and to not show emotion is almost non-human.

Theres obviously a time and place for it, but in general its totally fine to feel emotions and cry and everything.

 

Really any emotions are fine, maybe your just feeling sad over one little thing, it doesn't even have to be crying or any super extreme emotions that people have become afraid to show.

 

Again if we didn't have emotions we may as well be robots basically.

 

That is a point. In a childhood our parents use to told as that crying - is a weak. The problem is they rarely explain reason to that.

Okay now why nopony speak about reason of cry?

For my opinion any gender can cry about something that bring up some sadness or other well... how to say ... "sad emotions" - loneless, lost of something, somebody, useless, e.t.c. But not bring to physic pain for example - The parents keep talking about this sort of cry - and man have to face physical "discomfort" with a stone face.

The same one about rediculous reasons. You can cry if you lost your pet. You loved him, you have care about him and ... just sad. But you will simply looks rediculous crying over some pet of third uncle nephew fifth unknown neighbor out of the house. This is none of your business, there is not hurt you much, there is simply not hurt you.

At least there is just my view.

Yeah I get what your saying, parents really never explain that reasoning to why you don't cry and they never really hardly touch on why you should.

 

If its something that doesn't directly relate to you thats fine, you can go to showing emotions of sympathy or even empathy then. And comfort someone if its a loss that doesn't pertain to you, you don't have to cry about it or anything, but simply showing emotions of sympathy and the fact that you care is still showing a form of emotions.

 

And of course if its something thats close to you, then I see no reason why you shouldn't have the right to feel sad and cry. Its a hard thing to get over, and bottling it up is asking for it to explode sometime down the line.

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I think it is fine. I cried before I was a brony too but not over stupid stuff (Not saying I do now). I hadn't cried in over 3 years since my girlfriend and I split but now we started talking again and remembering all the good times, haven't gone 3 days without tearing up talking to her. Well, It's a little off but I really feel like I need to get my feelings out, sorry for bothering you with my stories. In conclusion, I think It is perfectly fine for guys to cry and I don't think being a brony will effect their will or reasons to do so. Crying is natural, it's part of life.

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I think it is fine. I cried before I was a brony too but not over stupid stuff (Not saying I do now). I hadn't cried in over 3 years since my girlfriend and I split but now we started talking again and remembering all the good times, haven't gone 3 days without tearing up talking to her. Well, It's a little off but I really feel like I need to get my feelings out, sorry for bothering you with my stories. In conclusion, I think It is perfectly fine for guys to cry and I don't think being a brony will effect their will or reasons to do so. Crying is natural, it's part of life.

Crying is fine in  alot of cases, of course there are exceptions, but its a good thing I think in the majority of cases. However theres always a time where you have to move on.

 

And don't worry your story doesn't bother me, I love stories anyways :D.

 

Also i put crying and being a brony together because normally by societies standards and sterotypes guys should be "Strong" and never cry. However they also say that MLP is for girls, and considering bronies are deifying that gender sterotype then I assume that they probably won't care about the sterotype for crying.

 

Thats just my assumptions though, I assume for the most part there correct however. I'm still curious to hear different views and opinions on the subject regardless.

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Oh no, it's fine to me.  It's a human emotion, and besides, we all do it from time to time.  Society just sucks, and can't seem to accept that gender stereotypes should be a thing of the past.  

 

It's not a sign of weakness, in fact, those who cry in public are probably more manly than those that don't.  They know that they'll probably get judgmental looks, but they don't care, they cry anyway.  That takes guts.  

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Oh no, it's fine to me.  It's a human emotion, and besides, we all do it from time to time.  Society just sucks, and can't seem to accept that gender stereotypes should be a thing of the past.  

 

It's not a sign of weakness, in fact, those who cry in public are probably more manly than those that don't.  They know that they'll probably get judgmental looks, but they don't care, they cry anyway.  That takes guts.  

Yep, society is really stuck in their ways, thats for sure.

 

I agree it takes alot more guts then you'd think to cry in public, I mean I really don't have the guts to do it myself, so anybody who does must have alot of guts for sure.

 

I've still got work to do on building up some guts though.

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I try to personally disassociate emotions with gender. Anyone can cry. Heck, when I see some people, I just wanna hug them and tell them them it's alright. :3 I haven't cried in a long time, though.

Actually, I teared slightly when watching the bronycon documentary, but that's it.

 

What really bugs me is when people act as if crying is something that can be controlled. "Stop crying." "Don't use that crying to make me feel bad." It's not a fucking tool to use at my disposal, it's a legitimate emotional response that my body gives when I am being overcome with a certain emotion. If someone tells me not to cry because I'm an adult or whatever, I just feel like slapping them. It's generally embarrassing enough, without someone bringing a ridiculous amount of attention to it, especially if they act offended.

Edited by Zenith
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There isn't anything wrong with crying if you're a dude.

Its a good way of making yourself fell better and removing stress.

I personally think that the expectation that guys aren't supposed to cry could feed into certain mental issues. 

My two cents on the matter are that I have less respect for a guy who uphold the stereotype of the stone-faced guy that dosen't  show emotion than a guy who's willing to express his feelings.

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Crying is not a sign of weakness; the display of emotion is not some sort of fatal flaw. But an unfortunate dimension of our society is to eschew and demean outbursts of emotion which may convey weakness---unless those emotions happen to be related to anger.

 

One of the reasons I like MLP so much is that it does not establish emotions as an inherent weakness. Characters may act on impulse or make rash decisions, yet the show and its fanbase generally encourage emotional expression as a sign of strength and caring. It goes against the grain of our culture.

 

I've cried. I don't cry very frequently, but I don't consider myself afraid of crying.

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I try to personally disassociate emotions with gender. Anyone can cry. Heck, when I see some people, I just wanna hug them and tell them them it's alright. :3 I haven't cried in a long time, though.

Actually, I teared slightly when watching the bronycon documentary, but that's it.

 

What really bugs me is when people act as if crying is something that can be controlled. "Stop crying." "Don't use that crying to make me feel bad." It's not a fucking tool to use at my disposal, it's a legitimate emotional response that my body gives when I am being overcome with a certain emotion. If someone tells me not to cry because I'm an adult or whatever, I just feel like slapping them. It's generally embarrassing enough, without someone bringing a ridiculous amount of attention to it, especially if they act offended.

Yeah I try my best to not associate the two, but sometimes it can be hard to fight against the normal.

Also legit crying is certainly not something you can control, thats a good point there, I can't make myself cry even if I wanted to, sure you have some people who can fake tears, but actual real crying is normally able to see and deffer from fake crying.

 

 

There isn't anything wrong with crying if you're a dude.

Its a good way of making yourself fell better and removing stress.

I personally think that the expectation that guys aren't supposed to cry could feed into certain mental issues. 

My two cents on the matter are that I have less respect for a guy who uphold the stereotype of the stone-faced guy that dosen't  show emotion than a guy who's willing to express his feelings.

Agreeded, infact like it was brought up earlier I think that the reason so many people are depressed is partly due to  societies sterotype of guys.

 

It also is certainly not healthy regardless, I've also said before how I read somewhere the crying can actually affect your health and actually shorten your life to a degree, therefore societies views are actually harmful.

 

Crying is not a sign of weakness; the display of emotion is not some sort of fatal flaw. But an unfortunate dimension of our society is to eschew and demean outbursts of emotion which may convey weakness---unless those emotions happen to be related to anger.

 

One of the reasons I like MLP so much is that it does not establish emotions as an inherent weakness. Characters may act on impulse or make rash decisions, yet the show and its fanbase generally encourage emotional expression as a sign of strength and caring. It goes against the grain of our culture.

 

I've cried. I don't cry very frequently, but I don't consider myself afraid of crying.

I agree, MLP is really a great embodiment of going against the grain of culture and society, not only the bronies, but the whole aspect of the show really.

 

I don't cry myself that often either, I'd like to say I'm not afraid to either, but I still have alot of work to do myself, I'm still a bit self conscious, but I'm working on it for sure.

 

I don't mind if a guy cry's. Like people have said, it's a perfectly normal response.

I never cry. Not because I think it's girly or anything. I just have a hard time feeling strong emotional responses from things.

I don't never cry, I mean I'm pretty sure everyone cries at some point, but I don't cry often myself.

 

I have a hard time feeling emotional responses from things myself though, so I know where your coming from :).

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I've been raised to "Pain is weakness leaving the body, while crying does nothing but show it to your enemies" I haven't cried in years, the last time I remember was because I broke my arm 6 years ago. Though I don't see why a man can't cry, as long as his reasoning is legit. Not like Spongebob crying. :/ Though society's view on it is kinda unacceptable. 

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