fan fiction Rainbow Dash's guide to getting kicked out of the hospital...Even when your still sick

[Arashi Takamine 121]

Alright before I start my guide of the awesome...Lemme give you a bit of advice if you just wanna read and not use: Don't eat dirt. Trust me then this guide'll become useful. Sincerly RD.

 

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1. Be all nice and sweet and act sad...Which if you ate dirt after being deprived of Cider that'll be easy...It won't be acting. That's on your first night in the evil place of boredom.

 

2. Then start making requests from: "I'm hungry." To: "Anyone wanna have a conga line?"

 

3. Annoy the elderly. Trust me nothing annoy's the nurses more then when you annoy the elderly...Albiet that one guy was awesome in showing how to appear dead. Which is number four!

 

4. Learn how to make it so whatever the heck they have hooked up to you (heart monitors things that go beep and stuff.) Can turn off at random and fake dead. Irritates them like hay! Careful though if they start shocking you with magic you'll twitch awhile after.

 

I learn it the hard way.

 

5. Ride the gurney's like surfboards. Fun, dangerous and irritating. You'll get kicked out in no time.

 

6. Make a point of telling them the food could be about...40% tastier! Seriously they call the stuff they serve healthy? The dirt was better!

 

7. Wheelchair races. Enlist the help of other victims-I mean patients and (dun dun dun!) have a race around the place and see who's the fastest.

 

(Shockingly the old geezer who also taught me how to fake death also won. Geeze old timers can be fast!)

 

8. Turn lights out into code for: "Party like it's Winter Wrap up." And make it a party even if it's a party of one..Just remember to take your medicine before...Otherwise you'll be in pain or coughing so bad you can't breathe.

 

(Learned that one too.)

 

9. When your friends or family come to visit enlist their help in an attempt at a break out. (Twilight ratted us out.....)

 

10. When said friends come hold a contest involving singing, dancing ect and ignore the nurses telling you to quiet down. Annoys them even more. You get awesome points if it's when the doctors themselves tell you to quiet down and you ignore 'em.

 

(Twilight ALSO ratted us out for this one! Acually a few of these she also ratted me out for...I'm noticing a pattern here!)

 

They'll kick you out even if you have a relapse if you repeat ALL these steps.

 

Or put you in the loony bin but they kicked me out.

 

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And THAT is one awesome guide by an awesome pony on how to get out of a place of utter boredom.

 

 

Your's awesomely:

 

Rainbow Dash.

 

//

 

Author's note: I do not own MLP FIM nor do I have the sixteenth episode leaked I just wanted to write this pre-ep so I can have a bit of fun before the inaccuracy happens.

Edited February 1, 2012 by Arashi Takamine

[hwrogers 168]

HAHA! as the son of a career nurse i gotta say that's a funny short read!

 

one note though, i'd exclude the term "gelding", it refers to a male horse that has been castrated. things i wish i didn't know, but being in texas i was unable to avoid this knowledge... in a land like equestria i'd think that would be an incredibly rare if not non-existant practice.

 

great read other than the uncomfortable pause at that term.

[Arashi Takamine 121]

Glad that you liked it and changed the gelding part. I didn't know it meant that.

 

 

Thank you for reading. ^^

[hwrogers 168]

i didn't think that term would be used so readily by anyone aware of it's meaning lol. fun read, i'll look and watch for more of your work.

[Arashi Takamine 121]

Alrighty and thanks. ^^ I may write a follow up to this one after the episode's airing. It was a lot of fun to write too.

[ProjectRKA 2,840]

Haha, oh man... that was brilliant :DDD

[Arashi Takamine 121]

Thank you. ^^

[Kladdos 1]

WAAAHAHAHA! I WAS LAUGHING SO much i wasnt sure if i was crying or laughing XD!

should totally try this when im back in the hospital for something :P

[Eenohay 318]

funny, but isn't it a bit to childish, even for rainbow dash?

[chrisbiby 18]

oh my god so funny

[Ezynell 2,036]

This is brilliant. Are these from Real life experiances?

[hwrogers 168]

#'s 4,5,7,8 and 9 i have heard stories of from both parents (both have worked various jobs in hospitals)

[Arashi Takamine 121]

I'm really happy to see everyone is enjoying it and hwrogers I am pleasantly surprised to see they're somewhat based on things that have happened.

 

(Trust me I wish I had the guts to do a few of them but I was just too sick to move.)

[hwrogers 168]

sometimes the stories of what the people do in the hospital are almost as hilarious as what they did to get there.

[Nah 3,181]

Ha ha ha! This made my day!

[WolfEdge 75]

Hm! Totally funny, and a list our favorite multi-chromatic pony would approve of. Hospitals are indeed very, VERY boring.

 

I have to say I like numbers 4, 9, and 10 the most. Especially 9. I can already see Pinkie Pie as a decoy...

 

Pinkie Pie: Hey there! Omigosh, are you a doctor? Or maybe a nurse? I bet it's really, really, really hard to keep SOOO many bored and hurting patients happy all day! Do you throw any parties? Because that would make them happy for sure! I know, I should throw every patient a super-duper-huge-awesomely-mega-get-well-soon party! With TONS of heart pounding music for the elderly! Good thing I always pack my party cannon! *Runs off with cannon*

 

The nurses would go after Pinkie without a second thought. XD

 

And while Pinkie's distracting everyone, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash try to go stealth mode toward the exit... only to be stopped by a random doctor and Twilight Sparkle, Twilight giving the look of disapproval, naturally. ^^ (I can't imagine Rarity or Applejack helping, but I think Fluttershy would on account of not wanting to upset Rainbow Dash... Plus, she'd probably care for Dash herself if they did manage to escape. )