Your thoughts on love/relationships?

[KatonRyu 1,026]

It takes time to build up a relationship. I'd been close friends with the girl I'm currently with for a full year before we started 'dating', which we didn't even really do. We watched a horror movie on Valentine's day because we had no plans, and we ended up talking the entire time. First kiss must have been at least a month after that.

 

Now we're nearly six years past that first Valentine and we're still together. I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

One thing I've learned over the years is that being honest is always better than lying. If you don't want to do something, go out, go to a party, or whatever, say so. That way, you'll always have clarity on where the other person stands.

[Plume 922]

Hm. Well, I know it exists, and I've seen people happy together, but I think I may be aromantic, so I'm not entirely sure if love is for me. Either way, at this current point in time, can't say I really care much about it. I don't get how people can want to be in a relationship, or how you can even develop a crush. To me, friends are all the love I'll ever need

[PROJECT: Simon 3,953]

My thoughts on love/relationships... it's beautiful and strong. When a person loves another person, that is amazing. 

[True Rarity 1,239]

I used to be a hopeless romantic; I would daydream for hours about meeting my Prince and having a perfect winter wedding. I've never dated anyone before. I planned on dating when I turn seventeen, but that's not gonna happen.

 

It's happened twice - I had a huge crush on a guy, I confided in the wrong people, the guy finds out, and - worst of all - he likes me back. Then awkward things happen and they want to pursue a relationship which I am NOT ready for, and I end up feeling sick and worked up and rejecting them and never having a crush on them again.

 

The exact. Same. Thing. TWICE.

 

I'm not against love and relationships; it's cute to see people happily in love and married. But me? Uh-uh. Try to pursue a relationship with me, and somepony's going to get hurt. I've learned. No love for me! No-sirree-Bob!

 

Thank you. I am done.

[Coco before Pommel 678]

I've never had a romantic relationship, and sometimes I think it would be nice to have one, but in general it's not something I worry too much about. I think I'm pretty picky (probably unrealistically so) and I have had crushes, but I haven't felt really attracted to someone in a long time. I'm pretty okay with that for now though because I don't think it's the most important thing or that you need to have a romantic relationship to be "complete" or whatever. I would, hopefully, maybe, eventually like to have a relationship someday, with someone who I like and who likes me back, but that seems really unlikely to happen for many reasons ^^; So for now I'm just doing my thing and if I meet someone I like, awesome, but if I don't, I don't mind waiting a little longer. I'm happy with my family and friends for now

 

...It maybe doesn't help that most of the relationships I've seen with other people have not worked out or been kinda messed up in some way ^^;; I mean, I know there are happy couples out there and that's awesome, but it does make it harder to believe there could actually be someone out there who would actually put up with me who I like back. I have been asked out before, but unfortunately it's never been mutual which is always an awkward situation >.>;; soooo...yeah?

[Invincible 2,090]

I tried being in a relationship back when i was at high-school... it didn't work well, and we both ended up parting ways. For a while, i figured "Once bitten, twice shy", right? Took me a while to work up the courage to confer my feelings and initiate a relationship since then, but i think it's for the best.

 

It's not something that's meant to be complicated, i mean. Some people just click with others so rapidly they get close real fast, but not everyone. After you developed a certain closeness with another person, you suddenly see them differently. You begin thinking about them differently. You don't need to be with each other every single minute of your lives, everyone need their bit of space after all, but you suddenly prioritize to see them more often, simply because you want to be with that person.

[Po-Nonimous 583]

After years of waiting I finally found my one best friend, my true love and my life partner and, after living together for two years, we got married and were and continue to be happier than we'd ever been, before.

 

As several others mentioned relationships do take work. They're like gardens; they must be weeded, tended to and cared for so that they don't wither and die.

 

Now, these are my personal opinions on what makes a relationship work but I believe they're valid since they work for us.

 

Love is not enough. In fact, it's rarely enough unless the couple happen to be incredibly compatible, which rarely happens.

 

Trust. If we're lucky and blessed enough to have someone in our lives who truly trusts and loves us then it's vital that we hold the trust they give us as a sacred thing and never, violate it. Once trust is gone it's almost impossible to get back and even if you can get it back it's not the same.

 

Honesty and communication. if two people cannot or will not be rigorously honest with each other and commuicate with each other openly even when mistakes are made then there's no way you can expect love or trust to survive. Nothing will kill a relationship faster than lies or a lack of open, honest communication on all levels.

 

Submission. This doesn't mean one person submitting to the other with one being dominant and the other passive. No, not at all! Usually, where there's real love there's also an attitude of submission whereby both people are not only willing but happy to serve the other person if that makes the other person happy. Ideally both will be doing this for each other.

 

Appreciation. Nobody likes to be in a relationship where they feel unappreciated. Whether that feeling is because they're really not appreciated or they just assume it then it just doesn't feel good. Personally, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't tell my wife at least several times a day how much I appreciate her and what she does for us as a family. In turn she does the same for me. We don't do this because we feel like we have to; we do it because we want to and because we truly do appreciate each other. This is the kind of small but crucial thing that can make or break a relationship.

 

Appropriate gender roles? I don't advocate specific gender roles but what works for us is this: we both cook, we both clean, we both tend to things that need to be taken care of. Like me, my wife is good with her hands, a good mechanic and is good at fixing things. We help each other either in fixing or making things not because we have to but because we want to because: love! The one exception here is that 99.9 times out of a hundred I'm the one who takes out the trash and that's fine with me. My wife really doesn't like doing it but it doesn't bother me so it works well for us.

 

Also, there's no specific task "assignment" from day to day. If I see a thing that needs to be done I'll just go ahead and do it be it dishes or whatever. She does the same thing.

 

Now, my wife loves to cook so, more often than not, she's the one who chooses to do that task which is great because she's an awesome cook but there's frequent times when she's just not feeling well and, although I'm not as good a cook as her, I'll do it to take up the slack.

 

Selflessness. Again there's few things that'll destroy a relationship faster than selfishness, whether it be over time, money or whatever. In our house we live by the creed "the family always comes first."

 

Example: Some time ago I'd been saving up some money to buy a new computer but circumstances arose where it turned out we needed that money for something important for my daughter. (It was a medical need so it was definitely important.) I didn't even give it a second thought. I added what I had to what we already had for that thing and just went ahead and did it. What made me happy was that my daughter was taken care of and that's all that mattered.

 

On another occasion my wife's old computer had kacked it and she was in need of a new one so, for Christmas, I got her a brand new 17" screen laptop. She was sure happy with it. That was enough to make me happy.

 

So, love, service, devotion, loyalty, appreciation, true partnership, just to mention a few things, these are the kinds of things that help to make a truely happy, satisfying and lasting relationship.

[Ricebug 555]

Most relationships a pretty adorable when you make it on just sex and mashing your faces together, that isn't love. Love is being yourself and being accepted for your flaws by the other, and the other brings the best out in you.

 

Now being myself I feel awkward in male relationships and female relationships, not saying I love my current boyfriend. It may just be a fear of people but I have found that most of the reason is because he treats me like a human being, isn't overly nice, makes some pretty truthful looks over me. Doesn't always say I am cute or something like most people interested in me do.

 

I think that in a relationship being together every second can destroy it, not saying that is a terrible bad thing. But if you want to be there all the time then the other person may feel that you are to clingy everyone needs there personal space and time alone.

 

(This has already probably been said on here but...)

[Neutral 1,185]

For me I just say meh to relationships. You love someone cool and well let them get on with it.

[CosmicMelody2112 209]

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Edited April 27, 2023 by CosmicMelody2112

[~Chaos~ 3,966]

Love is something that can just sneak up behind you, tackle you, and pin you down. You never know when it could hit, haha.

 

Relationships obviously take a lot of work to maintain, so I am in no rush whatsoever, but if the day comes along I find someone who loves me and I love back, then so be it.

[ChoroChii 284]

It's an amazing part of life that can make you feel and discover yourself. I'm in a very loving one right now and it's really changed my life. As did my past relationships. I think this is the one for me, though.

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

A relationship is the one thing that I want more than anything else, and by quite a big margin. I'd rather have a girlfriend than infinite money or anything materialistic like that. Dare I say that the day I find said person will be the best day of my life, and I look forward to it more than anything else my future may hold.

 

That said, I'm also the type of person to form unusually strong emotional attachments to people. I'm not the clingy type in the typical sense, but if I am to be in a relationship, I expect it to last for the rest of my life. I expect there to be mutual trust between my love interest and myself, often to a fault. I like to have my personal space and alone time, but this confuses people... because I also have this strange psychological need to be completely connected with someone on an emotional level.

 

To cut it short, I'm the type of person who falls in love easily, and gets heartbroken easily—and it's weird, because most people who know me expect me to be logical and rational at all times, as I almost always am.

 

Anyway, I've tried to become smarter about this over the years. In the past, I had fallen in love with girls and been rejected every time, which hurt like hell. Now, I'm basically at this point where I want to fall in love with someone, but I've learned not to get too optimistic about anything. I'm not getting attached to anyone unless I know they're going to reciprocate any sort of affection.

 

In that case, though... ice cream and a movie at my place tonight, anyone?

Edited February 2, 2015 by Admiral Regulus

[Moonbutt 87]

Love is love, whether it's same-sex to different ethnicity. Those who dislike that don't know what love is. 

 

I've never been on a date and I've been out of High School for awhile now, that kind of love is not what I want. I like older, more mature people that aren't picky or over-dramatic. Not that I'm asking for a lot, just a simple honest partner, but I'm waiting and I must say I do get impatient but I also think it's not worth getting dumped for simply not meeting the perfect standard of today's young society.

[Pastel 7,627]

Love is something unknown to me, I've never had a girlfriend, and strangely I'm fine with it.

 

I agree with @KatonRyu, I think a relationship, a real one, takes a lot of time to "build"...

[CC_Maud_Pie 6,431]

They can be good but remember, don't get too desperate and worked up over wanting one to the point where you're literally rushing it. You have to be careful and patient.

Edited February 11, 2015 by CC_Maud_Pie

[Scream Lucid Dream 103]

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

[Darius 70]

I think it's a natural part of life. I have been in love at least once myself, while I was in it there was nothing better in the entire world. Two things which annoy me though are people who flaunt that they are in a relationship and equally the people who mope because they aren't in one, it is fantastic but it can be equally horrible if that person isn't who you thought they were.

[cdx561 238]

I never was desperate for one in high school because i had them lined up just to be with me... anyways the best thing to do is

never be in a hurry to get into a relationship and just take it slow so you know if He/She is the right one for you =)

[Poetic Stone 1,040]

I am still looking for that special some pony out there. I have'nt been in a relationship in years just cause I keep getting hurt, but I'm sure that person will come along. I've always heard there's somepony for everypony out there so I wait and see love is one of those things that is hard to find, and even harder to keep, or at least to me it seems that way. So I look foward to finding that special pony out there in this great big o world to which we all call home. Relationships can be a hard thing with all we have in this world, and to me it just seems harder than it used to be. I am a careing pony who just wants to be happy in this life, and be part of some ponies life.

[RainbowTashie 378]

This topic is slightly vague so i'll just pop some advice here instead. If anyone is worried about being friendzoned tell the person in question that you like them as soon as possible they will respect you for it and will more likely want to go out with you. Incase you hadn't guessed already that's what my ssp did and we have been together nearly 3 years

[King 5,625]

In my opinion, the thing that matters most to a successful relationship someone isn't love, its the friendship. That always comes first.
If you enjoy sitting around and talking with someone, just hanging out with nothing major going on, I feel that its a good sign that you enjoy their company. This matters more then almost anything. Friends makes the best partners.

[Duster Dawnhorse 247]

You know, back when I was in high school I was one of those obnoxious edgy kids that was perpetually single and hated Valentine's Day because it was a Hallmark capitalist holiday with no intrisic value blah blah blah. Despite my commitment to nonviolence I probably still would punch teen me in the face.

 

But now I'm older, hopefully wiser, and more sure that a romantic relationship just isn't in the stars for me. It's the genetic hand I was dealt, I just don't feel that way. I put all my emotional eggs into friendship and familial baskets.

 

So I don't think there's anything ostensibly wrong about relationships and love. If that's what works for you, great. Just respect people who don't need it.

[Princess Oceangem 61]

Well I'm pretty sure I'm the youngest person on the thread but oh well! I'm in junior high and just about everyone I know has had at least one boyfriend/girlfriend and its kinda weird that they all think that what we see in movies and TV is what love is! Personally I'm still at the point where I'm trying to make more friends but definitely no boyfriend!

[Windseeker 546]

Relationships are bothersome and overrated.

 

Most of them are usually born either out of pure coincidence or that desperate need to drown out those lonely feelings.