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What do you do when people argue?


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My brother and sister tend to fight quite a lot and, unfortunately, that means that I have to try and stop them if my parents aren't home. This leads to some awkward situations because my brother is older than me and my sister is too stubborn to care. It can be really annoying and frustrating to be the only mature person in the room.

 

I'm not trying to get advice here (I don't find it that problematic, I know how to handle it), but am merely curious: How do you react to two person (that you maybe even know very well) having an argument?

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I only pay enough attention to know when things are getting too heated, then I set some judgemental looks.

 

Other than that, I don't really do much else. I'm not going to get involved or anything when it has nothing to do with me. 

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I always think it's a good practice to try and get both parties to agree to allow each other to tell their side of the story. Make it clear that if one interrupts they'll likely be interrupted during their turn. Let them tell their respective sides. Then ask each one INDIVIDUALLY (don't ask both at the same time) about why they were motivated to do or say the thing that aggravated the other. Usually once people explain their actual motivations, the other side doesn't see it as such a random act of unnecessary unkindness. They still may not agree with it, but you've injected logic into the situation. Try and keep that sense of cool logic in there.

 

But, if the situation escalates beyond the point of control, don't be afraid to very calmly step back and let it takes its course. You don't want to be the next target they turn to when they become so aggravated they're just angry with everything and everyone around them. That doesn't mean abandon ship as soon as it hits a rough patch. It means you honestly don't think your contribution will ease the situation despite your best efforts!

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I'll usually let the arguers go at it for quite a bit before making a joking remark about having to seperate them. That does NOT work though and so they continue to argue. Best to just let them work it out, I find.

  • Brohoof 1
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I stay the hell out of it. Even if I agree with someone's argument, I don't have any way of validating it to be true, so if I do step in, there's a chance that I'd make myself look like a gigantic fool.

  • Brohoof 1
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I stay as far away from it as possible, even if one of the people involved may in fact be in the right it usually dosen't help them or you to get involved in it unless you are trying to get them to stop which in many cases is in fact impossible.

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Given that I know the people well and believe the outcome will have lasting negative consequences, I'll act as a neutral mediator. When I was young, serious arguments between family and/or friends flipped a switch in me- making an otherwise sweet kid kinda scary. After some growing up of my own, I was able to ensure both sides spoke and understood what the other was saying (dissecting everything they said if necessary). There are times when words aren't enough on their own, but sometimes it's all that's needed.

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I'm gonna sound a bit douchey, but when it comes to that stuff, I sort of let them handle it for themselves. It's not my place to become a mediator unless I know they need one.

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Stay the hell out of it. 

 

Whatever is going on between two people, is for them to resolve.  Me butting in and offering my two cents only entangles me in their drama, and I personally have little patience for that.  And I just generally feel that it's not my place to stick my nose in their business.

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Usually, I'll try to stay out of it, unless it's something I have an opinion about or know how to solve. Other than that, if it's none of my business, I don't try to make it my own, unless the argument gets out of hand.

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Well, my siblings would sometimes start hurting each other if they started arguing. Sometimes they would try to make me side with one of them(which I refused) and basically I decided just to be left out of it because I knew I would get hurt. However, at first I would try to get them to stop.

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Depends on whose arguing, if it's 2 people who have no clue what they are talking about, I will join in and finish it by being awesome. If it's family or friends, I just walk away and go to my room or wherever.

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I stay the hell outta it unless I'm either right in the middle of it and/or it starts to get out of hand.It's none of my business,why should I care what two people are arguing about?I'll only care when it starts escalating to something serious and out of hand.

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It depends. If it's one of those more civil arguments, then I might chime in if they wouldn't mind my input or if they ask for it. If it's one those angry arguments, then I try my best to stay out of it unless things start to get out of hand. Those are just troublesome and I usually have no place in those arguments since they tend to be/get too personal.

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  • 1 year later...

I have these noise-cancelling earmuffs for guns that I use to block out the argument being heard. It's usually when my dad is drunk and is yelling over something. I just shut my door and lock it, put the earmuffs on and look at Luna photos. If it gets to where I can't stand it after that, I'll just hop in my car and go.

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I am timid by nature and I despise confrontation, so I do tend to avoid getting involved and I panic a lot inside which might make me physically tremble. If someone I care for is being maltreated, I do step in (doing so takes a huge toll on me afterwards).

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This is my reaction, almost every time-

 

Unless it is very obvious that someone is in the wrong, in which case I join in to defend/help the people that I know shouldn't be argued against in the first place.

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I am timid by nature and I despise confrontation, so I do tend to avoid getting involved and I panic a lot inside which might make me physically tremble. If someone I care for is being maltreated, I do step in (doing so takes a huge toll on me afterwards).

 

That's pretty much me. My parents especially tend to argue, and it can get REALLY heated at times. I usually tend to collapse and just wait out the storm; probably in tears if it affects me bad enough.

  • Brohoof 1
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Depending on who and what it is about, but usually I’ll just sit back and observe. If I have something to add, I’ll just say it but if it’s about  something I find interesting I’ll probably listen just to know what people think and if it’s valid or interesting. 

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Brother and sister? I've had to silence my parents on a number of occasions. Sometimes people get carried away, and sometimes they need perspective. No harm done.

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