Grace Braid

OOC Kingdom Hearts: Alt Mix OOC Thread

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OMG OMG OMG OMG I'm a huge fan of kingdom hearts sign me up my characters link is in my signature

 

Thank you for showing interest in our role play game. Unfortunately, your character does not suite the needs of this RP at this time.

 

Your character has some swanky glasses going for him, but not too much else that we can see. Your writing is far below the par we have set for this RP. Even if it were written more legibly, your character lacks a Kingdom Hearts specific backstory, which is a requirement listed in the first post of this thread.

 

You will have one more opportunity to submit your character sheet after making changes to it, if you wish. But if you choose to, be aware that you must follow the rules of writing as closely as you are able. We aren't looking for perfection, but you will need to demonstrate knowledge of proper sentence structure, have a moderate to high grasp of grammar, and utilize correct capitalization.

 

Yea... thanks. First:English is not my native language, i am from Greece therefore this affects somewhat my thoughts that i try to "translate" to you. I think this is a big problem that isnt easily fixed... still through my fanfic on FimFiction.net i try to do something about it. But sometimes... anyways aint gonna bother you that much i think a proofreader is needed. But i got some questions for you:

 

1)Since this doesnt involve ponies how come its posted on MLP forums... i mean what made you change your mind about involving them?

 

2)Could you give me some leads about writting in general? I got great ideas on my head but actualizing them in writting proves more difficult that it should.

 

Anyways... i didnt expect to actually be in the league with advanced rps but... guess i'll learn? *sigh*

 

Ah, Greece! The character I am role-playing as in this RP is from a fictional city named "Greeceland", but in her original, non-Kingdom Hearts bio, she was from Greece. As for your questions,

 

1. Skyman, my co-host in this RP, chose to use MLP Forums as the host forum for this RP because all of the players who we knew were already interested in our RP concept already have an account here. We both have extensive knowledge of how to use this forum, so it was easier for us to bring our idea here than to create or find a new forum and learn a new set of rules. Equestrian ponies were never planned to be involved in this story; Skyman and I just forgot to include that statement in the thread's opening post.

 

2. I'm afraid I don't have any specific writing tips. If you are already writing fanfictions, I encourage you to keep doing that. In addition, if you want to write in English, it is important to read a lot of English. Don't just read fanfiction though, read actual novels and short stories that have been published by high rated authors. Fanfiction can be wonderful, but can also teach you a lot of bad techniques. If you have the option, there are classes on the subject of writing you could probably take too. Creative writing classes and screen writing classes did wonders for me.

 

Writing is difficult, and its even harder when you are still becoming familiar with the language. It's not impossible to learn though, and I've seen at least one member of this forum improve by leaps and bounds since the first RP game I played with him in. So no need to feel sad. One day you will be at the advanced level, as long as you work towards it.

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Ah, Greece! The character I am role-playing as in this RP is from a fictional city named "Greeceland", but in her original, non-Kingdom Hearts bio, she was from Greece.

 

You might have noticed that my OC is from Olympia. There is actually a city with the same name in Greece (where the Olympic games were born) and i live in a nearby city, thats why i picked it. There are so many things i'd like to talk to you about but i realise this section is not offered for simple chit-chat. I would however like to chat using skype. I shall send you my username over with a message and if you wish to you can accept me. (or you can look on my profile and find it).

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Alright this seems like loads of fun. I gotta try to get in. My character is AlexanderNight
Here's hoping!

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Alright this seems like loads of fun. I gotta try to get in. My character is AlexanderNight

Here's hoping!

While you aren't accepted yet, you're rather close. Clean up and expand your backstory a little bit, and you'll be accepted.

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While you aren't accepted yet, you're rather close. Clean up and expand your backstory a little bit, and you'll be accepted.

Alright I edited the backstory I really hope I can get into this one it seems like loads of fun.

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Alright this seems like loads of fun. I gotta try to get in. My character is AlexanderNight

Here's hoping!

 

Accepted.

 

... Hey, it feels good to be able to say that for once instead of writing a rejection letter!

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Accepted.

 

... Hey, it feels good to be able to say that for once instead of writing a rejection letter!

alright! the only thing have to say to this is thanks you with i little solo celebration here by saying goodnight everypony lol

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Accepted.

 

... Hey, it feels good to be able to say that for once instead of writing a rejection letter!

"Writing a rejection letter"... why do you sound so much like you were rejecting... your girlfriend? Sorry... i couldnt resist.

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"Writing a rejection letter"... why do you sound so much like you were rejecting... your girlfriend? Sorry... i couldnt resist.

 

Probably because I'm just so used to rejecting potential girlfriends. Because if anyone knows me, they know that my binders full of women are positively overflowing. I have to push the babes away with a broom stick just to get any time for writing my Friendship is Magic fanfiction. Yup, life is hard for a stud.

 

I don't know how to properly end this joke, so here's a picture of magicarp.

 

 

seaking.jpg

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Probably because I'm just so used to rejecting potential girlfriends. Because if anyone knows me, they know that my binders full of women are positively overflowing. I have to push the babes away with a broom stick just to get any time for writing my Friendship is Magic fanfiction. Yup, life is hard for a stud.

 

I don't know how to properly end this joke, so here's a picture of magicarp.

 

 

img-1385788-1-seaking.jpg

thats not magicarp >.>

this is obviously a seaking my friend lol but nice try it was a good ending

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(edited)

ok i'm back with my character sorry if its kinda bad but i have to go to my grandparents house (the dont have internet) so here it is http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/david-r3122

 

While the swaggy glasses remain, the application as a whole is still unsatisfactory. The appearance is rather poor in detail, as it doesn't elaborate beyond "like the picture above but human," which is really not satisfactory at all. The personality is also extremely short, and really doesn't give us a clear view of who exactly he is supposed to be. 

 

While the backstory is an improvement over last time in terms of length, it is now an unnavigable wall of text that is a slog to simply try to read through. The pacing is also extremely poor and the grammar is sloppy at best.

 

Since this is your second time getting your app rejected, you need to take a sit out for a few weeks before you can submit another form. We suggest that you look at other RPs here and work on your grammar in the mean time so that next time you might be accepted.

Edited by Skyman

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sorry my new post didn't save my profile update i have to re edit it again sorry for the profile

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sorry my new post didn't save my profile update i have to re edit it again sorry for the profile

 

Sorry, but I can't accept your new application. You have already had two chances, and we've rejected you both times, so you gotta wait a while. Sorry man. :/

 

Also, an announcement I forgot to make a couple posts ago: The RP shall be beginning within the next 1-2 days. Either me or LE shall make a post telling you guys when the thread is up, and shall include a link for it there and in the first post. That is all.

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(edited)

*Points to his current username*

 

Yup, the RP has started.

 

www.mlpforums.com/topic/58012-kingdom-hearts-alt-mix

 

It's taken a while to get set up, but "Kingdom Hearts: Alt Mix" is now up and available for all to read and post in. Just be sure to freshen up on the rules beforehand, and make sure your writing is free of most spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization mistakes. If such mistakes become common, it may be grounds for permanent removal from the RP. We will warn you before we decide to take such measures, though.

 

One more thing: do not feel obligated to match Skyman and I's opening post length. Write exactly as much as you need to get across your actions, thoughts, and dialogue (without dipping below the length limit set in the rules, of course). The only reason Skyman and I's posts are so long is because we're charged with setting the stage for the RP, and also because my character's bio page never included information on how her world actually got consumed. You don't need to restate everything that is in your character's bio page already, so please don't be redundant in that regard.



Bringing up something from the RP thread:

 

Alexander looked back at the door he had come through. "I know I didnt just walk out of a shop," he spoke aloud. Shaking his head he turned the corner to the right and saw a blonde haired man behind a counter. "excuse me," he said, walking up to the counter, "where is this place?"

Alexander was still holding the odd key he had been gifted by his goddess. "This is Traverse Town." the man said as he turned around. When he saw the keyblade, one of his eyebrows rose. "That's an awefully odd weapon you got there," he said nodding.

He looked down at the keyblade. "That's right I almost forgot I had this." he exclaimed lifting his hand. As he did this the keyblade vanished in a silverish light. "well that was odd" he sighed.

"You a traveler?" The man asked. "We get a lot of your kind."

He looked at the man, "I guess you could say that." He told the man. Though I'm not sure if that's what I would call it, he thought to himself. "My name is Alexander," he held out his hand, "Alexander Night."

The man took his hand, "Names Cid." The man said shaking. "If you need a place to stay," the said pointing to his left, "I'd check the second district."

Alexender nodded his thanks and turned. I could use some sleep...

 

This is a good post, but in the future, please refrain from taking control of/writing dialogue for named NPC characters. It's Skyman and I's job to control their dialogues and actions, and we have plans for Cid and other Traverse Town residents. However, if you just want to have your character talk to a simple made-up townsperson, that's fine. I'm going to ask Skyman add this to the list of rules, so that this confusion won't come to pass again.

 

Anyways, because its so early on in the game, and not much was done with Cid, Kyoshiro's post can remain as-is. However, all future actions and dialogue for Cid will be handled by Skyman, if you choose to have your characters interact with that NPC.

Edited by Serah Anastos
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alright so i was wondering. can we get/use keychanes in this rp or no?? if so is there a specific way we are sposed to get them??

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Howdy, sorry for the wait and what have you. Anywho, without further to do...

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/marcon-savarelli-r3134

 

For your Emmy consideration.

 

AND THE EMMY GOES TO CRANIUM TYRANUS!

 

A0DvlWa.gif

 

Sorry, DiCaprio; maybe next year.

 

alright so i was wondering. can we get/use keychanes in this rp or no?? if so is there a specific way we are sposed to get them??

 

We don't currently have any plans for them, but that doesn't mean they couldn't become part of the RP. If you have any ideas for their use, I'd suggest private messaging Skyman, since he knows more about the KH universe than I do.

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Hey gang, just wondering if anyone is currently drafting up a post or what have you, I ask cuz it's been a while since a post was made and what-not. ._.

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@@Cranium Tyranus,

 

I definitely can't post again because then I could get in trouble for double-posting. Can't help here.  

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(edited)

@@Cranium Tyranus

 

Don't worry. I have a post drafted up and to be posted soon. I'm simply having somebody go over it right now to make sure that it at least avoids any obvious grammatical/spelling errors. 

 

I must say, though, you people nearly broke me. I was wondering when SOMEBODY was going to finally use the thread, and was going to make a post here right after making my post in the thread just to kick off some discussion. I mean, I'm still going to make a post, but still. I get to say that you guys didn't break me at least tongue.png.


@@LeJAKoJAK@@MagicalStarRain, @@@@@Cranium Tyranus,

 

So yeah, why don't we get some meaningful conversation going on here?

 

What part of the RP have you guys enjoyed the most so far? Is it character interaction, pacing, etc, just name something that you like so far from what you've seen.

Edited by Grace Braid
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Why must you forces us to speak?!  Darn it, we are not hamsters to do you bidding!...  Just kidding, Grace.  It's all fine, I'll feel better when our other fearless leader posts.

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@@Grace Braid,

 

I don't know. I don't pay attention to that kind of stuff much. I guess I like the plot and the backstories and such. 

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I honestly think it's a little early to be asking something like this. It's not a bad question, but I think it might be one to ask once everyone meets up and we are actually going. 

 

But to answer your question as of now, I think the biggest thing noticed is character interaction namely because there are more posts with character interaction than anything else. I do like that you are actually DM'ing. I rarely see someone acting as the NPCS and whatnot in a forum RP. That I do like, so keep it up.

 

One question to ask is, where are we going to go after traverse town? Is there going to be a boss battle before we leave? Or are we just simply heading out?

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I honestly think it's a little early to be asking something like this. It's not a bad question, but I think it might be one to ask once everyone meets up and we are actually going. 

 

But to answer your question as of now, I think the biggest thing noticed is character interaction namely because there are more posts with character interaction than anything else. I do like that you are actually DM'ing. I rarely see someone acting as the NPCS and whatnot in a forum RP. That I do like, so keep it up.

 

One question to ask is, where are we going to go after traverse town? Is there going to be a boss battle before we leave? Or are we just simply heading out?

 

It might be a tad bit early, but I've found that in the RP's that I follow, RP's that I have been in, and the rare few DnD campaigns I have had the pleasure to actually be in, getting feedback about the experience right from the start is extremely useful and can very much so help out the one running everything to adjust. Thus, I wanted to try and get at least some sort of feedback from you guys so that I can see right now if there's anything that would just be rubbing you guys the wrong way, so that I could adjust or change that in some way to make the experience better for everybody. Alternatively, any positive feedback(like the one you just gave me) would help me in knowing what is going well so far and thus what should NOT be changed.

 

Now, for your question... I honestly can't say much. It's a spoiler, after all, and a fairly major one, relatively speaking(since that would be saying how the plot for this entire world is going to end up being), so my lips are sealed. Don't worry, though, as you guys will be finding out soon enough hopefully.

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