[Fanfiction] Someone Get Me Out Of Here!

[. eris . 1,661]

 

Title: Someone Get Me Out Of Here!

Author: Earl Grey

Rating: PG

 

Summary:

I was just a normal teen, for about seventeen years. And then I was dropped into Equestria. Did I mention I've never been a fan of ponies?

 

 

 

Chapter One

-Chapter One -

 

 

You know what? Equestria makes a lousy first impression.

 

It all started on that sticky summer night, where fireflies blink tirelessly in the backyard, and crickets play an orchestra of summertime on their legs. Of course, it being the middle of June and all, it was nearly eight o’clock and the sun still refused to go down. I was sitting on my front porch, trying on a new coat of black nail polish and trying to ignore my younger brother outside with his friends. Black nail polish wasn’t really my thing, but it looked all right and I could care less what color was decorated on my hands. My little brother, Chucky, was out in the back yelling for me to get rid of a garter snake that was apparently hissing at him menacingly, but I had fallen for that trick once before; my little brother was a pretty good prankster for a nine year old, and had probably rigged up a trap where a bucket of water would fall on my head if I went into the garage.

 

So there I was, sitting on the front porch and minding my own business, when my dorky friend, Eliza, comes skating up to me. She’s the only person I know who still uses a scooter – and I mean one of those foot powered things, not a moped, people – to get to and from school. She was about ten feet tall and about as big around as my little finger, with a round face covered in freckles. Eliza bounded off her scooter with surprising agility for the heat, and was sitting next to me in a single bound. “Hey,” She said brightly. “Guess what?”

 

“You and Brian finally got together?” I asked, examining my nails. The tips of her ears turned red instantly.

 

“Of course not. He’s a dweeb,” She said, scuffing at the ground with a bare foot. You heard right, bare feet on a scooter. She has callouses on her heels the size of Texas.

 

“Sure. So that’s why you waited all last week for him to call you after your date,” I said dryly.

 

“He didn’t call. Henceforth, he’s a dweeb.” Eliza said airily. Like I said, huge dork. She’s the only person I know who uses the word henceforth casually in a sentence. “No, I finally got my Season Two DVD. Isn’t that awesome?”

 

Did I mention Eliza was a huge dork and the craziest My Little Pony fanatic? I mean it, she’s so over the top obsessed with a children’s show it’s a wonder she doesn’t eat rainbows. She’s got all the memorabilia, the tee shirts, the DVDs, and always sends me funny clips from the episodes, which fills up my inbox with pony junk. Not the best thing to have in your inbox when your little brother decides to go through your emails.

 

Aside from that, she’s essentially a nice girl, and a good friend. But I never understood her obsession with the show. I mean, I watched a couple episodes and it seemed okay – nothing spectacular – but Eliza laughs at every punch line like she’s never heard  them before. Girl’s got some serious issues.

 

“So...wanna come over to my place and watch some ponies?” She asked, squirming a little on the step.

 

“Um, no. I’ve got lacrosse practice tomorrow, I should go to bed early.”

 

“Charlotte, I have never seen you got to bed earlier than two o’clock in the morning,” Eliza poked me in the ribs and I swatted at her.

 

“Hey! I went to bed at midnight last night. Not my fault if I’m a night owl, is it?” I protested, blowing on my fingernails. The glossy black paint did kind of give me a grunge look, which is what I’d always been going for. I passed a hand through my thick blonde hair and sighed. “Fine. Ponies it is.”

 

“Awesome!” I blinked, and Eliza was already off the porch and on her scooter, grinning at me. “You coming?”

 

“Just let me get my shoes,” I muttered. I poked my head inside and grabbed my flip flops, then yelled in the direction of the den, “I’m going over to Eliza’s house! I’ll be back in a little while!” I let the screen door slap shut, and then followed Eliza to her house.

 

Eliza had this enormous house that looked like it should be on an estate or something. Her mother’s a realtor, so she managed to get them this beautiful old house with a big wraparound porch for practically nothing. Of course, they have a postage stamp of a yard, but it’s at the end of a cul-de-sac and it’s pretty quiet where they are. Eliza took the steps two at a time on her long, coltish legs and I felt a little twinge of envy. We were polar opposites in physical features – she was tall and thin, and I was short and curvy. Of the two of us, I’m probably the stronger one, since years of lacrosse don’t make you a weakling.

 

I plopped familiarly on the couch and pushed aside a small decorative pillow. I’ve always loved Eliza’s house, since her mother decorates it in textures, not in colors. There’s rugs on the floors and mismatched patterns on the furniture, and the whole house has a pleasantly settled, creaky feeling like a old curled up dog. Eliza claims she hates it, but I think she likes it just as much as I do. She’s funny like that.

 

She came back with two glasses of lemonade and a bag of potato chips between her teeth. “Want some?” She asked, yanking open the chips. Oh, fatty morsels of saltiness, why must you smell so good?

 

“I can’t,” I said, taking a sip of my lemonade and trying not to look at the chips, “Lacrosse season, I’m in training.”

 

Eliza shrugged and didn’t press it, but put the bag of chips within my easy reach. She grabbed the remote and hit PLAY.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate My Little Pony. I just never got it. My tastes run a little deeper towards writing and less towards children shows, but thanks to the internet constantly informing me of its popularity, I’ve more or less kept tabs on it. Plus, how could I avoid Eliza always chattering about it? So I wasn’t exactly coming in cold while I sat on the couch, and munched potato chips in spite of my best intentions. We watched an episode about a purple pony going crazy – Twilight Sparkle, I think her name was – which, I’ll admit, was pretty funny. And then another one where Luna (I remembered her since I liked her voice), was trying to fit in at a Halloween party.

 

They were cute. But I never saw the appeal.

 

Eliza got up to put the chips away and go to the bathroom, but she left the television on. Another episode started, with that teeth-grindingly girly music, and I picked up the remote to mute it while Eliza was gone.

 

As I picked up the remote, there was a loud pop!, a rush of static, and the sensation of falling.

 

-------------------

 

I was facedown in the middle of a field.

 

This in itself would have been enough to make me start screaming, but what made it worse was I heard little squeaky noises. I picked my head up and saw a small pony, about four feet high, bouncing towards me with big, cartoonish leaps. My glasses were still on my face, which surprised me somehow. The pony stopped about a foot away and jammed her nose in my face.

 

“Hi!” She squeaked. “You look weird! Who’re you? Wow, what are you? You don’t look like any kind of pony I’ve ever seen!” Her voice was drilling a hole in my head. I got to my knees and made an incoherent growling noise in my throat, rubbing my eyes in befuddlement. The pony yelped in shock and took off, shrieking, “It’s a monster! Everypony run!”

 

I stood to my full, glorious height of about five foot four inches, and looked around. Not far away from me was a little town, and there was a huge tree in the center of it. Already, ponies were flooding out of their houses and gathering about a dozen yards away, looking at me with huge, frightened eyes.

 

In the middle of the crowd, a pastel colored purple pony forced her way through, and what looked like a dragon was tagging along right behind her. “All right, everypony, stay calm!” The purple pony called. She took one look at me and gasped loudly, her pupils contracting. “Wh-what are you?” She stammered, trying to sound brave.

 

“You have got to be kidding me,” I said hoarsely. I looked at the back of my hand and realized it didn’t look like the back of my hand. You know, all the little textures and shadows your hand has? This had none of it. I looked down at my dark tight jeans, my fluffy black and pink skirt, and dark hoodie to realized I had turned into an animated version of myself.

 

I screamed.

 

The whole town screamed back and fled in a cloud of dust.

 

Do you see what I mean about making a lousy first impression?

 

--

 

 

A.N. So this is the first chapter! I hope you enjoy. I got kind of tired of seeing all these stories about how a kid drops into Equestria and they’ve been longing to be there, so I thought it could be kind of cool to have a girl who doesn’t particularly like ponies go to Equestria. <3 By the way, here’s a full-length picture of Charlotte in case you’re interested. XD Please let me know what you think! This is my first MLP fanfiction, so there’s bound to be errors.

 

 

 

 

[Mephala 2,632]

That wasn't that bad, really. Interesting concept in the fact that she dislikes the show, seeing as people normally write about people that like the show going to Equestria.

Question, though-she was painting her nails, and then ran her hand through her hair. Why? It would bung her nail job and her hair up. They couldn't have dried that quickly.

...

Yes, I am that nitpicky. 

[. eris . 1,661]

That wasn't that bad, really. Interesting concept in the fact that she dislikes the show, seeing as people normally write about people that like the show going to Equestria.

Question, though-she was painting her nails, and then ran her hand through her hair. Why? It would bung her nail job and her hair up. They couldn't have dried that quickly.

...

Yes, I am that nitpicky. 

 

Yay! You caught it. <3 I put that in purposefully to add reference for the next chapter. Thanks for reading, and it's nice to have a reader who watches continuity.

 

[WingMcCallister 367]

I also like the non-fan insertion idea. One comment I have is that I find some of your quotation mark punctuation/arrangment to be a little questionable. For example, ' "Quote," I [verb unrelated to speaking]' comes off as a little strange to me. In addition, I feel some periods should likely be commas and vice versa. However, when reading a fanfic, I'm usually less nitpicky on those facets and more so just wondering if I'm interested in what happens next. You did a good job. Whoosh!