Terrible, Terrible Puns

[Mirage 24,133]

That is positively Scooby-Doo-ality scary.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I'd make a joke about shipping

 

 

...but that'd make me the vessel of a rather crewed form of humor.

[Luminance 2,181]

I'm board. 

 

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

...wow, that was such a flat one. You had an opportunity to be the Star of this thread and you Mist it.

But I'll let you have your personal space, because admittedly the criteria for a good pun are rather nebulous.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,680]

I had a book of puns that I accidentally left out in the rain; they're terrible (tearable), so I'm just gonna have to wing it...

• My brother was dying to get into organic chemistry; now he's just dying (diene).
• On the topic of whether the glass is half full or half empty, the programmer sees a glass that's about to overflow (integer overflow for signed vs unsigned integers).
• People in the past thought that zero was odd. There are people today who believe that zero is even (history of the number zero vs whether zero can be considered even).

[Prospekt 10,984]

You’re living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means? You matter.

I once tied all my watches into a belt, but then I realized it was a waist of time.

I hate when people ask me where I'll be in 3 years. It's not like I have 2020 vision.

I always make sure my smartphone doesn't break. I guess you could say I'm a Guardian of the Galaxy.

 

[Ivan The Adorable 304]

8 minutes ago, Prospekt said:

I hate when people ask me where I'll be in 3 years. It's not like I have 2020 vision.

You may hate it, but you can't blame people for looking out for their future Prospekts.

[PinkieShadow 4,053]

Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.

[PinkieShadow 4,053]

10 hours ago, Prospekt said:

You’re living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means? You matter.

I once tied all my watches into a belt, but then I realized it was a waist of time.

I hate when people ask me where I'll be in 3 years. It's not like I have 2020 vision.

I always make sure my smartphone doesn't break. I guess you could say I'm a Guardian of the Galaxy.

 

This is so low it fell flat.

This is a perfect way to learn English (I normaly speek a funny language btw), just love it !

[SparklingSwirls 21,261]

What do you call a psychic midget who has just escaped from prison? 

A small medium at large!

[Patty Thundersnow 4,129]

You must all must already have pumpkins, because you're out of your gourd.

[Catpone Cerberus 23,426]

I guess I could share the poor attempt for a pun in one of my RPs.
(Warning, this pun is actually just bad pun, nothing funny about it) :3

Spoiler

C1: "....you're absolutely Purrfect"
C2:"It's Pawsome that your are so Pawsitive"
(it's two humanoid cats talking)

 

[RuthPainter99 473]

What's a  female mathematician's faviort kind of underwear ?

An AlgeBRA 

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

@RuthPainter99 that was a Ruthless one.

 

[RuthPainter99 473]

Thanks I just hope I don't SPIRAL out of control with my puns

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

You know that one artist with her hair down so much that it covers her eyes? How can she shake your hand if she can't even Sia?

[Luminance 2,181]

Well...I'm a bit tired to stick around so you can catch my drift later while I roll off.

 

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I guess @Star Mist is a third wheel in this friendship then.

[Guest]

I need this thread to live immediately since I made the worst pun.

Why do stoners want to become royalty? They like the idea of people calling them "your highness".

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Why do people get so dramatic over some rain and wind? It's nothing to storm up a fuss about.

AI experts always try making smart cars but they keep hitting roadblocks.

I don't trust subatomic particles, they make up everything.

What does a frog do when he needs a light snack? He eats a firefly~

I would talk to ponies, but my throat feels a little horse...

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Data: "Sir, there is a priority message from Starfleet."
Picard: *puts down teacup after taking a sip* "Onscreen."
Data: "I can't, sir. It's a priori-tea message. It can only be watched before you drink your tea."
Picard: "F*** off, you b****."
Deanna: "I'm glad they censored that."

Just a little Trek shitpost that came to me early this morning.

[CypherHoof 26,479]

13 minutes ago, Feather Spiral said:

Data: "Sir, there is a priority message from Starfleet."
Picard: *puts down teacup after taking a sip* "Onscreen."
Data: "I can't, sir. It's a priori-tea message. It can only be watched before you drink your tea."
Picard: "F*** off, you b****."
Deanna: "I'm glad they censored that."

Just a little Trek shitpost that came to me early this morning.

"Sir! Sir! the stitching machine isn't working!"

"So?  Fix it"

"But I don't know how, sir"

"Make it sew, number one..."

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

17 hours ago, CypherHoof said:

"Sir! Sir! the stitching machine isn't working!"

"So?  Fix it"

"But I don't know how, sir"

"Make it sew, number one..."

I wanted to think of more Trek jokes... but all the good ones are Gorn

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

*waits for @PathfinderCS to find this*

I, on the other hoof, am an avid user of TERRIBLE truck puns. They are truckin' awesome as truck! 

[Ashen Pathfinder 16,151]

1 hour ago, Lucky Bolt said:

*waits for @PathfinderCS to find this*

I, on the other hoof, am an avid user of TERRIBLE truck puns. They are truckin' awesome as truck! 

Oh; aren't I just a "lucky" to have been notified of this. Ooo; I'm just SO fawn'd of topics like this. Oh deer I can't contain myself~