Terrible, Terrible Puns

[Odyssey 5,713]

So you heard about my friend dropping their ice cream today? They had such a terrible sundae mourning. ba dum tss

[TheRockARooster 47,241]

Never make a deal with a butcher because the steaks are too high.

[Sherem 4,807]

11 hours ago, Feather Spiral said:

@SheremYou may use elevators, but personally? I don't trust them. Too easy to get high.
I will take steps to avoid them.

Hope you people find this... uplifting. Been at a low point lately, myself.

Well you could Say we hit both Hit A BOTTOM right now in our day to day

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,679]

When an earthquake happens on the US west coast: It's not California's fault, it's San Andreas Fault.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I submitted a script for a movie featuring sadistic kettles. It was refused on the grounds of cruel tea

[DubWolf 16,585]

I make a lot at work, Heres one:

(on radio)

Lead: “It’s October 4th tomorrow”.

Lead 2: “It sure is.”

Me: “10-4”

LOLOOLOOLOLLOOL  . Because 10-4 means “copy” or ditto  ?

[DubWolf 16,585]

*looking for shoes and can’t find them*

Telling myself: are you shoe-er they aren’t there ?

Sorry, that actually was terrible xp .

[TheRockARooster 47,241]

I tried to catch fog yesterday...... mist.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

11 hours ago, The Demon said:

I tried to catch fog yesterday...... mist.

Wonder weather your judgment was clouded or not.

[DubWolf 16,585]

*finds locks I needed*

Friend: You found what you needed?

Me: lock-ily, ahahah  

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I wanted to get saucy with my ex-wife, but I had no time to suggest cause it took us too long to ketchup.

also, she still won’t let me have custardy of the kids. I really mustardone a terrible job of teaching them stuff

[DubWolf 16,585]

Lady in shoes department: I see y'all are out of the size 9, must be pretty popular.

Me: Yeah, we're sole-d out, I'm afraid, eh heheheh  .

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

On 10/18/2019 at 4:23 AM, WWolf said:

Lady in shoes department: I see y'all are out of the size 9, must be pretty popular.

Me: Yeah, we're sole-d out, I'm afraid, eh heheheh  .

I bet you were booted out for trying to shoehorn that joke in there.

[Woohoo 32,506]

Ever been sneezed in the face? Let me tell you... it's snot funny.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I wanted to make a killer joke

...but I'm sure those have been done to death.

[Odyssey 5,713]

I was blown away by the power of these fans. I am definitely a huge fan of them.

[TheRockARooster 47,241]

How does NASA organise a party?

 

They planet.

[Will Guide 21,325]

How does the Disney fan get into his house?

He used MicKEY Mouse

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

What's Hitler's favorite Star Trek series?

Deep Space NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN

[Tao 6,707]

why did the brony cross the road?

 

----------he saw his favorite pony!