Terrible, Terrible Puns

[Doctor XFizzle 8,651]

As seen in my current status:

 

I placed a dirty $20 bill in the washer to clean it. I got arrested for money laundering.

[Keypassion 232]

I used to be a heavy gambler, but now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.

[Devyp2theizo 170]

This thread.... lol

 

 

 

After a long day... A guy walks into a bar... and says Ow... ;D

 

that was painfull... for both of us

 

I stood up all night thinking of this one.... here goes...

 

This guy http://mlpforums.com/user/101-zoop/

is a ^ZOOPer moderator.

 

we could quiz the forums creator on mlp... i think he would pass.. im worried he might Feld0... (fail though) boooooooooooo!!! Edited February 12, 2012 by Devyp2theizo

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

A classic:

I mustache you a question, but I see you're bushy so I'll leaf you alone.

 

Oh, here's one I came up with in a DA comment:

Hey, quit dogging me. I'm not pussing your muttons, am I?

 

And this, is another classic.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "What's with the long face?"

Edited February 12, 2012 by Derth Fader the Ponith

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

Berry Punch: "What do you call something 6cm long and made out of various types of fruit?"

Cheerilee: "I don't know... what could it be?"

Berry Punch: "The punch line!"

 

Well that was very forced...

[Keypassion 232]

An unemployed jester is nobody's fool.

[Crispy 5,563]

What's blue and smells like red paint?

 

Blue paint.

[NeverNeverland 1,940]

What gun can be made out of cards?

 

An AK-47!

 

"Did you hear about that new part time job that Shelly got from that metal head?"

"Yeah. Apparently she is now the Iron Maiden..."

 

Oh god... that was horrible...

[Doctor XFizzle 8,651]

How fast is it to put on pants with a fastener than pants with a button? It's a snap.

[Viscra Maelstrom 3,718]

why did we not choose to gobble thy backside?

because we were too busy to gobble thy upside.

[Keypassion 232]

A Zen Master walks up to a hot-dog seller, and says: "Make me one with everything."

[Doctor XFizzle 8,651]

Bakers are very reliant on dough. They knead it to survive.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Doctor XFizzle

[Espionage 113]

Can I axe you a question?

[Keypassion 232]

Can I axe you a question?

 

Cut me some slack. I'm not that sharp.

[Viscra Maelstrom 3,718]

Mr. Punnyberg says: and that's how i became a joker.

[Robert3186 45]

Confuscious say: man who walks infront of car gets tired. Man who walks behind car gets exhausted

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I like brains.

-asdfzombie

 

Did this even exist, on YouTube for example? I haven't checked. I know there are asdfponies videos, but zombies...?

[FLARE 951]

What did the Egyptian say to the person who provided a valid excuses as to for something?

Pharaoh 'nuff!

[Arashi Takamine 121]

What do Egyptian kids say when their lost?

 

"I can't find my mummy."

 

A dragon was laughing at a knight. The dragon goes: "YOU SLAY ME!"

 

 

*headdesks* I wasn't even trying that time...

Edited February 14, 2012 by Arashi Takamine

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Two Wongs don't make a Wright.

I don't know who initially said that, but I first heard it from Michael Weatherly during an interview with the NCIS cast. (Weatherly's version said "white" though, not "Wright")

Edited February 14, 2012 by Derpth Fader the Ponith

[SrFrog 926]

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

 

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

[Inactive01 5,298]

I heard this one here and there.

 

Phoenix Wright: Why am I so smart? Because I'm always WRIGHT!

[Larko 77]

What kind of cookie does Han Solo eat? Extra Chewie!

[Doctor XFizzle 8,651]

Hmmm this addition problem hasn't been finished yet. Something's up.