Continue the story in one sentence

[Blue Bay 1,027]

A pile of Gak rised from the bottom of a garbage can to overwhelm the entire world by using a potion to enhance it's natural ability of cell division.

[Denim&Venöm 14,257]

But Dimebag, having mastered the art of gak on his various travels during the year of 1994, took control of the sludgy mass, and used it to cover the planet and encase it in a hard cocoon to help the planet evolve and develop, and until the day it was ready to emerge, Dimebag would sit on his throne made of volcanic glass, serenading the stars with his axe.

[Cwanky 17,183]

Unfortunately cracks started forming in the Gak, which originating from Nickelodeon unleashed terrible mutated monstrosities including Spongebob and Patrick Star, an army of undead brain dead kids and preteens, and an undead Amanda Bynes, who wasn't really undead but had become seriously deformed due to heavy drug abuse and skank sex all within a year.

[Denim&Venöm 14,257]

Dimebag, fearing not the terror of death, struck a cord on his axe, and as the sound reverberated across the cosmos, riding in from the sun, sailing across the stars on a silver mountain to join him in battle, was the hero of his time, Ronnie James Dio!

[Loriem 639]

Ronnie and Dimebag fist bumbed, and prepared for battle with the army, when suddenly, Nickelodeons old cartoons came to help.

[Denim&Venöm 14,257]

Dime and Ronnie had no time to welcome their new allies, the casts of Hey Arnold, Rugrats, Catdog, and Invader Zim, for they had a battle to wage, a war to win and a score to settle with the abominations rising from the remains of Gak and the rotting husk of what used to be the Nickelodeon network, yet suddenly, from the blackness emerged...

[OkBuddy 585]

...A collection of characters from terrible shows like Fanboy and ChumChum went and destroyed what was left from the good Nickelodeon shows. The Gak would soon devour them in a mater of seconds, until it was killed off by...

[Loriem 639]

The swarm of Cartoon Network Toons, old and new, lead by Bugs Bunny, defeating the Gak and it's Nickelodeon Zombies.

[Denim&Venöm 14,257]

The squads from Looney Toons and MGM sided with their old friends, the randomness that was spawned from Friz Freeling and Tex Avery, took the left, while the cartoon cartoon Fridays roster, cow & chicken, Johnny Bravo, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Kids Next Door, Edd Edd & Eddy and Laurens creations Fosters Home and the Power Puff girls, took the right, as the action shows of old, Batman & Superman teamed with the Teen titans and X-Men evolution swarmed from behind, during which the various action shows like Max Steel, Megas XLR, He-man, 2 generations of Thunder cats and Swat Kats delivered death from above, and at the same time, death from below came in the form of Toonami, leading the immense charge with 3 generations of DBZ, 9 generations of Gundam, 3 generations of Zoids, 2 generations of Naruto, 4 generations of Tenchi, 4 generations of Transformers, Yu-Yu-Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin, Cowboy Bebop, Voltron, Outlaw star, Blue submarine  No.6, One Piece, Bobobobo-bobobo, Escaflowne, Card Captor Sakura and Sailor Moon helped complete the circle of death started by Dimebag Darrel and Ronnie James Dio, out to avenge their comrades in the old guard of Nickelodeon and end this bitter stalemate. 

Edited September 17, 2013 by Denim&Venom

[Loriem 639]

In short time, the battle was over, as the evil gak lead nickelodeon was defeated.

[Denim&Venöm 14,257]

A funeral was held for Earth, the Ponies and all those lost in the Cartoon Network/Gak war. Princess Luna, the last surviving pony, constructed a memorial on the moon to honor the fallen who valiantly and fearlessly made the ultimate sacrifice so that life could go on, while Dimebag honored the sacred dead by striking a few notes on his sacred axe, and to comfort those who fought side by side with the bravest warriors ever known.

 

http://youtu.be/C9Pt_UM29OI?t=6s

[Loriem 639]

When suddenly, everything set on fire.

[SomariFeyWright 775]

The fire raged on for what seemed like eons, for no particular reason, and suddenly everyone who had been killed in the war had come back to life, while those who had survived the war were now dead.

[Loriem 639]

Then, god descended from heaven, and returned everything to normal, locking the Gak in a unescapable box, and reviving those killed by the fire. 

Edited September 20, 2013 by Secret Person

[SomariFeyWright 775]

His hand also dropped a million dollars while the sun was setting and the moon was also setting inside of a gazebo, thus causing a poorly-explained paradox that sent the Earth hurtling toward the sun.

[~Rule 63~ Lyeco 527]

But Superman carried the earth to move away from the sun

[Enigma Stitch 51]

Superman became a giant cactus from spiked kryptonite.

[Dark Horn 429]

But then, Molestia ate a muffin.

[SomariFeyWright 775]

This muffin, holding the ancient powers of the Powerpuff Girls, allowed Molestia to revert Superman back into his true form, allowing him to continue saving the planet Earth, at the cost of Molestia's life.

[Denim&Venöm 14,257]

Superman, moved by such a selfless sacrifice, transferred all of his blood to Molestia, reviving her and since Kryptonians gain power from the sun, and Molestia is the goddess of the sun, Molestia's power continued to exponentially grow in a perpetual feedback loop, further solidifying that the last son of Krypton had died, but the first Princess of Krypton had been born.

[Enigma Stitch 51]

His blood became a mess of clots within molestia's body, causing her to fall over in a flail with a hoof over her chest.

[Dark Horn 429]

But, then Tara Strong, goddess of trolling, refused to let such an awesome troller die in a non-trolly way, and decided to resurrected her as a near-sighted chipmunk in a wheelchair.

[Denim&Venöm 14,257]

The chipmunk hardened into a sapphire statue, which began to crack and then explode with the force of a 90 gigaton nuclear warhead, and in the center of the charred, glassed over landscape were not one, but two Molestias, looking lustfully at the strangely unharmed Tara Strong.

[Enigma Stitch 51]

And thats how crystal ponies are made.

[Denim&Venöm 14,257]

And thus is the tale of how the Crystal heart was forged from a 3 way between the Twin Molestias and Tara Strong.