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Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen


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Now, if you've been on Facebook for the past few days, you might've seen this:

 

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This is the perfect time for us to have a little chat. What's wrong with this picture? Firstly, the dad is shooting a laptop that's approximately $200 (+$130 upgrades he said he did) with $1 each hollow point bullets, 7 times. Hey look at that, you just threw away $337 dollars for a "punishment."

 

Secondly, what is this teaching his daughter? That guns solve problems? That you should respond to any action that you dislike with force? That father is leading her daughter through force. I'm not defending what the daughter did at all. Yeah, she should be taught a lesson.

 

But does force solve anything other than distance the daughter even further? This whole thing puts the idea, "Law is a rule enforced with a gun" to a whole new level.

 

This is the great tragedy about parenting. Just because the parent was raised in a very difficult era does not mean that era's methods are constant with the societal and environmental structure that is in this era. It's like saying, "Alright, because I was born in a time and raised with a monochrome T.V, it's better than a 21st century LCD color T.V. in every aspect."

 

Thirdly, where does the child learn the most from? Not from any school or government propaganda. No, it's from their parents. Several research studies show that children with positive parental interaction perform better than those with negative or no parental interaction in nearly all emotional, mental, and few physical areas.

 

So if you need to look at your child's behavior, you need only look in a mirror.

 

So that concludes my rant. I'm not defending the daughter, merely showing that the parent needs to sit down and talk with the daughter. Explain why she does chores, and actually speak. That promotes level headed behavior to the child and shows that force does not solve everything.

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Ehhh, in my opinion it seems like she's a bad kid and he's a bad father.

He must be quite the attention whore to upload his discipline to the Internet.

Quite frankly anyone who uses a firearm in any manner to discipline someone is probably mentally unfit to carry a firearm...but hey, sounds like he's from the south...crazy dads with guns are not entirely uncommon there.

She was definitely quite disrespectful, immature and innapropriate in her post...which is more than deserving of some sort of strict discipline...

 

...but I've seen too many things with guys like this one. He's probably an abusive and/or unnecessarily harsh father.

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The daughter seems like a hopeless case.

 

As a computer geek, seeing the laptop shot made me very sad inside D: I was right with him until he did that; went too far when he shot the laptop. As a "tech-savvy" father, I'm sure he could have come up with other ways to ground her from things like facebook, such as setting up some kind of home server that blocks her IP from accessing certain websites. Or hey, he could have done something like install Linux on her laptop (with no gui) and laugh with delight has he watches his daughter try to make things work. May not teach her anything, but hey. Better than shooting a laptop.

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The daughter seems like a hopeless case.

 

As a computer geek, seeing the laptop shot made me very sad inside D: I was right with him until he did that; went too far when he shot the laptop. As a "tech-savvy" father, I'm sure he could have come up with other ways to ground her from things like facebook, such as setting up some kind of home server that blocks her IP from accessing certain websites. Or hey, he could have done something like install Linux on her laptop (with no gui) and laugh with delight has he watches his daughter try to make things work. May not teach her anything, but hey. Better than shooting a laptop.

 

LOL @ Linux without gui, but i think what he did was pretty funny, she is a spoiled little c*nt.
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I think this was a great idea.

First, it sounds like they went through this before, and to keep her parents from seeing what she posts, she blocked them. Now, I don't know about other countries, but in the US, if you're under 18, don't count on privacy, your parents have a right to see what you're doing, and when you're doing it, within reason, of course. So posting this on the Internet is a pretty smart move, IMO, since she sees that anything you put online is public, no matter how private you want it to be.

 

Second, she sounds like a spoiled brat. I live in a second floor apartment, and for all my life I've lived in apartments. I wish I had a dishwasher, and a washer and dryer. Hell, I wish I lived in a nice house with a huge yard. She's living a great life, she's getting everything she could possibly want. I'll trade places with her, AND do more chores. She's getting things without doing much work, and wants to be paid on top of that. We call that a job. And don't tell me its hard to balance school work and chores, when I was 16, I was working part time at Burger King, got home from school at 3:30, went to work from 4-9, and then did my homework, and I still had time to play online.

 

Third, while shooting the laptop was a waste of money, I think it was appropriate. She would've been grounded for 3 months, then got her laptop back, and possibly do the same thing over and over again, in an endless cycle. Now that she actually has to get a job to get a new laptop, maybe she'll start seeing how things are in the real world, you don't get what you want just because you want it, you have to work for it. Now, if he would point the gun at her, yeah, different story, but shooting a laptop does the same as snapping it in half, its not about how its done, its about what it teaches.

 

Finally, I don't know their life story, so what I said above may not be the truth. But to me, I think she should be respectful of her parents, and herself, or she might end up pretty screwed later on in life.

 

EDIT: Reading some of the comments on Facebook is making me lol. Somehow, there's one person who seems to think this might cause his daugther to try comitting suicide, and I understand there's a potential for that. But if she tries taking her life because she was grounded and no longer has a laptop, then her priorities are screwed up to begin with. I'm the kind of person that thinks outside the box, too many people seem to be taking this video too literally. Maybe pointing a gun at a laptop is irresponsible, but I don't think he intended for it to be a "guns solve everything" kind of solution. I think he is just showing his daughter that things can be taken away just as easily as they are given.

Edited by Kapi
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I support the father, because the girl was spoiled from what I heard, she isn't mature enough to think about things and her father's perspective ((Slow Pinkazoid is writing big girl words xD couldn't help myself to say that)), and if she really didn't like her dad doing 'those things she mentioned' she could have just told her dad have a talk with him and then get into writing sh*t on Facebook, but the dad did talk with her and punished her before, apparently she learned nothing and did it again, but her dad had warned her. But first I'm gonna say something, I like to look from both perspectives of the argument before coming to a choice or choosing a side, and the dad seemed to have good reasoning, and he didn't solve the problem with a gun, he gave her an example of that if she want's something, and she doesn't wan't to listen to neither of her parents about it, than she can make her own life and get her own money, buy her own things and don't have to complain on how she's not treated good enough, besides in the video the dad said the girl was gonna pay for watch she did, and I"m glad of that, just because it's the 21 century doesn't change the fact that they should get punished, I'd get punished for writing something like that, and I can bet anything that my dad would try to either; sell the laptop, do what this guy did, or throw it in the lake, but I don't act like that...anymore, I learned the hard way and I don't make those sort of mistakes again. Now that I got that out the way, I'm going to say how the girl showed a good point, her father could have just sat and talked to her and explain why this sort of stuff bothered her, she did this out of rage which I sometimes do too, but I try to wash those out of my head and smile (like always xD), so the girl did this while she was mad, and maybe she didn't mean all of her words but the dad did take it seriously and directly, and that's why he was mad.

 

My conclusion is that it wan't the dad's fault he had every right to do this, and the girl deserves any punishment given to her, but who am I to judge? I can't make a decision just because of what I like or of what I believe, I'm simply supporting and not insisting, and my full support is on the dad, since I didn't have anything to support the girl for, besides expressing herself and taking the risk.

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I find it somewhat disturbing that so many people think that this is an "adequate" punishment and that using force is justified in parenting. Yeah, the girl is immature and spoiled but who made it like that? It's not an animal's fault if it bites somebody when the animal tamer didn't teach it not to.

 

Yes, the girl is spoiled, I get it. I live in a small house with no yard and definitely no cleaning lady. And what the hell is up with her getting a job? She's in school, she needs to study for school and go to college, not get a 9 bucks an hour job in Jack in the Box. What do you think a 15 year old girl can do for a job, especially when her father is a filthy rich mentally unstable gunman.

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Both the parent and the girl are immature. I have a feeling this is a major case of overreacting on both sides. And trying to top each other's overreaction.

 

Whatever happened to just talking? If there is a real problem, then just talk to each other. However I think that the girl was also trying to vent, something which is healthy. And if she is being punished for wanting to vent. Which would make the punishment sound ridiculous.

 

I don't care, parents will always screw up their kids, just don't let the major screw ups near me.

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I got a massive laugh when he unloaded a magazine of .45 ACP onto that laptop. I had a feeling it was leading up to that, because he seemed like the type. As far as the excess in meting out punishment is concerned, sometimes it takes that kind of an extreme to put another individual in his or her place. I've known plenty of people who were complete jackasses until someone hauled off and kicked the crap out of them. It's unfortunate to have to come to that point, but sometimes it's a necessary evil.

 

At the same time, which would you prefer: he hits his daughter, or he relieves some stress by destroying her laptop with a firearm? Shooting in general is very therapeutic, and it's obvious he was aggravated over the situation. What better way to get rid of that pent-up anger than to shoot at something? And at the same time, what better way to teach a self-entitled, spoiled-rotten 15-year-old girl a thing or two about respect and not taking things for granted? Killing two birds with one stone, as I see it.

Edited by CadenceAndCascade
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I can somehow understand this dad, but I was kinda disappointed that his daughter didn't seem to be as spoiled as I thought she would be. I mean she made a small rant on facebook but I think her father should have made a cooler and more appropriate reaction than shooting her laptop(I mean he had acess to her account therefore he could have done many things). In my opinion there are much worse teenagers on facebook than those who try to be a bit rebellious(the ones who flirt with everypony, the "party-animals" without any dignity,ect.). Also he probably should have worn a mask for anonymity.

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I applaud that father.

 

I'm gonna start off by saying this generation of youth is shallow, thinks its cool to be rebellious and use swear words every other sentence, and that the world revolves around them. And the sick thing is most parents are totally fine with their child being this way. And it sickens me. I am glad there are still people out there who still have morals.

 

The daughter sounds like a whiny spoiled brat too. I mean, sure, she has a right to vent and complain, but the way she did it, degrading several people and blocking her parents from seeing it yet allowing everyone else to see it, trying to humiliate her parents.

 

Sure the father may have went overboard shooting the laptop, but I think its far better then what most parents would have done. I.E. Nothing at all. So props to him.

 

Though I'm sure my laptop is gonna have nightmares now after that video. D:

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I'm in support of the father for this one. Though really, most teen girls go through that "MY PARENTS DON'T LOVE ME" phase, and some actually want to shout it out. I mean, my sister went through that, and I just hated it. -.-;

I think what he did was pretty fair.

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Force against what? A laptop? That he bought himself and found out was being used to trash talk him? Screw it. He had every right to do whatever he wanted to it. The only way I'd be against it would be if the laptop had been something she paid for even partially, but from the sound of it he spent every dime that went into it.

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I love my mom. I love her a lot. We have been through some pretty rough things in our lives. But never EVER would I have said what that girl said about her dad. If you are going to shit talk parents. Do it in a diary, confide in a friend, even talk to a therapist if it makes you feel better. But posting that shit on facebook for other people to see, is terrible.

 

As for shooting the laptop. I highly doubt the girl is seeing some sort of "oh we should punish people by force" type of thing. If she sees that, she is a stupid human being. Futhermore, they have guns in the house. Child protective services was of course called, and they founf the home to be suitable for children to be living in. So she has to have SOME training in gun saftey, and knows when to be smart with them. We do still have a right to own them ya know.

 

As for the laptop being broken as punishment. When I was about 5, I was throwing a fit like 5 year olds do, and I broke one of my moms make-up brushes in front her, because I was angry at her.

 

She then promptly took one of my toys, and smashed it to bits with a hammer. What I did was disrespectful, and mean. Yes I was 5, but I did something wrong.

 

So put yourself in his shoes. You work your ass off your whole life and make some babies that you love and care for. I did backround on the dad, and he seems to have worked for what he has. He has provieded food, a home, security, love, and everything else a child needs. So now, he spends a whole day putting software on a computer, upgrading it, and taking time out of his day. WHy? Because he loves her, and wants her to be happy. Then to read the things she put on facebook for people to see, slamming him with crap teenage bullshit, he then decides as a parent, the proper way to go about punishement. If my child did something that terrible to me, especially after I spent an entire day fixing her laptop. I would promptly shoot it to bits.

 

So hopefully she learned her lesson.

 

I'm not one for religion, namly christianity, but Honor thy father and thy mother, should be a given. Your parents have done a lot for you. Remember that.

 

I find the justification of force to be disturbing...

 

From the little bit of backround of his life that he gave, its sounds like his parents might have been they type to get physical with him.

 

he obviously didnt beat his daughter, wich would of course be terrible. But I see where you are comming from with "force". It seems as though you think the gun is whats to forcefull about the situation. Well, what if he did a hammer? his bare hands? His car? (that would be funny) Would thoes forces be justified to you or not? Like I said in my other comment, I broke one of my moms things, then she broke one of mine with a hammer, because I did it on purpous.

 

The father had put out some statements. He has said that they are a normal family, and like all normal families they are not perfect. He, along with his wife and kids, have made mistakes, wich is what you will do in a normal family. He has said that his daughter is not hurt, and that she understands better now. Some kids just need a wake up call. I had some freiends that treated their parents like shit, but yet there was barely any punishement, and thoes kids have turned out to be complete fuck ups in the real world. One kid, who was VERY unruly to his mom, was sent away for a summer to boot camp, and that shit straightened his ass up.

 

So years later, she should look at this and say "you know what? I fucked up, and I know better now." And she might learn how to be a little more careful about what she puts on the interent. I think that Dad was right in posting this on her wall, because look how much attention it got. thats what happens with the internet. You post a stupid letter, or a picture, and it will spread like wildfire if you're not careful.

By the way, I live in North Carolina where he lives (not the exact town), and me and my mom and her husband have guns. I'm gay, my moms kind of hippy, and her hubby is in the army, but is not a soldier douche. And we seem to be perfectly sane. Not all southerners are gun totting, homophobic asshats. Just sayin.

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Ok, the girl can't actually tell her dad what she thinks about her chores and decides to write it on facebook. Real smart... this is why a lot of people hate facebook. it gets you into a lot of trouble. I get upset sometimes easily but I wouldn't talk shit about my parents on facebook. What the girl did was highly immature.

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