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romance A new begging ~Finished~ (RE-Fixing So much errors!)

Fredbermudez

By Fredbermudez, User

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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

(edited)


 

Please leave a (Thumbs up) Bro hoof! If you liked the story! It means a lot. 

 

                                                         (Chaptor one a new begging)

I bet you think i'm you know a kid, that plays, has friends like other people right? *Laughs* Like if it was even close. You see i'v been to other worlds, Example:

 

Foissel fighters. ETC. I've been to 10 worlds already, lets make this 11th? And yes i've made stories to the other ones to. One has got sold on into a news paper,

Others well, Gone. Should we get we started? Hmm Maybe you're not ready for this advendure... Well let me get you filled in,in some of the back story first shall i?

                                                         

 

                                                         (Time: 10am Place: Somewhere in japan)

Fred: *Yawns* Oh... My back, *Wakes up on couch cracks back* Ow... Gam dangit.. I really need to stop sleeping on the couch.. *Sighs* 

I wonder what new games they brought to the manga store.. I hope they brought some good ones, all i see now these days are *Coughs* Not even gonna say it.

*Hears people yelling and screaming outside* What the hay? * Runs to the door and swings it open* * Glares at groups of people* ... * A kid comes running pass me

But he stops and trips as i pick him up*

 

Kid: Ow... Dangit i really need to look out where i'm going these days, * Looks at Fred as he shakes hands* Thanks for picking me up, By the way a new game is 

opening! Its called My little pony realstic game * As he runs to the store*

 

Fred: Huh. My little pony realstic game i hear? Hmm.. * Walks to the store* ... Not even a line? Weird.. *Swings door open as he is walking in* I wonder wheres 

all of the people. * Sees clerk* Hey there, do you know where everyone is?

 

Clerk: Yes they'll in the back, they're looking at this game that came out. I'll say its a great time to buy it when everyone is in the back watching the Trailer.

 

Fred: Oh Really? Huh i hope, how much does it cost? 

 

Clerk: Costs 40$ Don't forget its brand new not old kid.

 

Fred: Huh i guess. * Buys as eyes sparkle* F-First game ever to come out.. In japan of My little pony.. * Shakes hand and runs off*

 

Clerk: ... As if they know whats going to happen..

                                                   (Time: 10:30am Place: At home)

Fred: I can't believe it.. * Puts game into consel the intro starts as it says*

 

Intro: Do you want to make tons of pony friends? Do you really want to meet Fluttershy and the rest of the ponies? Well hop right in then! Just sign in!

 

Fred: If this is another.. Rip off i swear to br-

 

Intro: *Yells out name* Yeah you. 

 

Fred: W-What!?! How do you know my name??

 

Intro:... Lets just say i know everyones name, now please let me talk..

 

Fred: .. * Stops talking and looks at*

 

Intro: Now you didn't just buy any game, You bought a realstic game. But only 1k out of 1mil well get this. And you are one of the lucky ones.

 

Fred: ... S-so w-what are you gonna do to me??

 

Intro: Make your Dreams come true... Now TTY!

 

Fred: Wait wh-* poofs*

 

Intro: Another well done job. Huh i'm getting to old for this.. * Goes to another game*

 

                                                   (Time: 12am Place: Unknown) 

Fred: * Rubs eyes* G-Grah my head... * Rubs head and fills a huge bump* Ow... I must of hit my head when i landed.. * Goes to get a drink of water from the river* 

Maybe some cold water would wake me up.. * Sees self eyes glare at own reflection* I....I-I'm a pony?!?!? H-How!!! * Falls into the water* GUbble gubble * Gets 

out and tries to catch breath* Ahh.. * Coughs out water* W-..What am i???? I can't be a pony! T-This is fake. It must be a dream, yeah that's all! * Punches self* 

* Makes self a bruce* Ow! Gam dangit i ain't asleep. B-But how! * Gets dizzy* I~~c..... Dre~~e * Faints*

                                                   (Chaptor 2: Where am i?)

                                                   (Time: Unknown: Place: Unknown)

 

 

Fred: G-....grah.... *Rubs mane* ... * Tries to open a eye* ...

 

Unknown pony: Oh... Hi, S-sorry i woked you up...

 

Fred: I-its fine... Its not like you just pulled me out of a river..

 

unknown pony: So sorry, I-i'll make you some soup... * Trots off*

 

Fred: ... Don't i know her from somewhere? ... I swear, * itches eyes* Last thing i remember i fell in a river and blacked out. How did she find me?

 

Unknown pony: Oh eh... D-do you want a drink....? I-i'm just asking I-

 

Fred: Oh i'll love to have a drink. What do you have t-

Unknown pony: * Points at frege* Hmm... Water, Apple juice... Hmm.. Fruit juice..

 

Fred: Y-you really got tons of juice... * Says in mind i wonder how they would taste...*

 

Unknown pony: *Smiles* Hmm.. I think you'll like apple juice, its fresh when Applejack Kicks them off the tree!

 

Fred: Applejack? .... Don't i know her.. *Rubs head* .. I must've been dreaming, i'v never met her.

 

Unknown pony: * Gives apple juice* I-hope you like it,By the way my name is Fluttershy... S-sorry i didn't say my name when i met you * Blushes*

 

Fred: ... Its fine... * Says in mind, ... I swear.. I've heared that *Name* From somewhere..* * Rubs mane*

 

Fluttershy: You should meet my pets... * Grabs* 

 

Fred: * drops Appe juice and gets dragged*

 

Fluttershy: * Points at bunny, and smiles* This is angel.. * Takes him outside* Those are my chickens! Oh oh also.. * Points at birds* Those are my birds...

*Blushes* I- train them to sing.. For parties And stuff... Wanna hear them? 

 

Fred: Nono... I-its fine! 

 

Fluttershy: But you must!

 

Fred: .... Fine * looks at*

 

Fluttershy: * Says in cute little voice* Yay.. * Gets musical stick* Okay..... 1......2.....3! *Stops* S-sorry but.. You're a little off... C-can you pick it up

a little * Pats birds head* Thank you.. 

 

Fred: *Listens* 

 

Fluttershy: Like it? I'v been training them for 3 months, i'm training them for the Party Pinkie pie is gonna hold..

 

Fred: Who's Pinkie pie?

 

Fluttershy: Oh yes! Pinkie pie.. I should meet you to the whole group... And show you around ponyville!

 

Fred: Eh..... I'm kinda beat.. I mean yeaah Wo...... *Facehooves*

 

Fluttershy: * Smiles and drags*

 

Fred: *Talks while getting dragged* Wait did you just say Ponyville??

 

Fluttershy: Lalala...lalal...

 

Fred:.. * Pokes back* Did you hear me?? Did you just say this is Ponyville.?

 

Fluttershy: Mhm Lalala

 

Fred: * Rubs head* Now i heared that name somewhere.... Huh too hard to think of it now.

 

Fluttershy: Y-you must be new to Ponyville It seems like you don't even know what ponies are! 

 

Fred: Yeah i guess...

 

Fluttershy: You never told me your name.. Whats your name anyways?

 

Fred: O-oh sorry.. * Says in mind, WHat is my name...*

 

Fred: Oh! Its Dragonshy....

 

Fluttershy: Ohh it almost matches my name.. *Blushes* I can't wait to let you meet Ponyville!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Y-yeah... I hope its good?

 

Fluttershy: Don't worry you'll love living here. Wait you are right?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... I think..

 

Fluttershy: Oh great! Ooohh! My little sister would love to meet you...

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Little sister? You got a little sister?

 

Fluttershy: Mhm! Her name is Buttershy, She loves to meet new people! *Lies*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Huh whats her age?

 

Fluttershy: Ohh she is just 2 years younger than me.. I'm 16 and all.. 

 

( GUuessing her age, EG They're all in Highschool kinda making them teens still)

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Oh it'll be great... ish...

 

 

 

                                                            (Chapter 3:Meeting new friends) 

                                                             (Place: Ponyville Time: 2pm

                             

Dragonshy (Fred): Wheres everyone?

 

Fluttershy: Oh busy like always!

 

Draongshy (Fred): ... Hmm.. Wheres your pony friends I wanna meet them!

 

Fluttershy: Lete meet Pinkie pie first! I bet shes in her bakery making Cupcakes!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): What kind?

 

Fluttershy: You'll see Pinkie pie is kinda random.. Well always random.. Just never break a promise if you promise her something.. Or she'll keep stlaking you and

Say Foreva.....

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Stranger danger.

 

Fluttershy: *Smiles and opens door* Hi pinkie pie!! P-Pinkie pie?

 

Pinkie pie: Oh Nono.. The ballons.. Rainbow dash.. A little more to the left! No! Right.. No no! ... 90 degrees! * Eyes goes wobbly* 

 

Rainbow dash: Grah Pinkie pie! Just tell me already!

 

Pinkie pie: Oh.. Yeah right! In the middle a littl-... And.. Perfect!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Blushes* .... I -i don't really wanna.. * hides behind fluttershy* No!

 

Fluttershy: .. * Pulls out and drags* Say hello to the new Pegasus in town!

 

Rainbow dash: Woo! I wonder if hes fast as me.. Psh i doubt I'm the best! Oh yeah Forgot to tell you my name, Its Rainbow dash.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ...  * Blushes even more* * looks around sees hiding spot behind the stove* * Runs but gets stopped by pinkie pie*

 

Pinkie pie: * Looks at* .... 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * looks back*

 

Pinkie pie: * stares at without closing eyes*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Blinks*

 

Pinkie pie: Ooh! I won!!! I am i the best at staring contest!

 

Rainbow dash: * Facehooves* 

 

Fluttershy: Oh g-girls..  *Whispers* Plan a party.. 

 

Pinkie pie: * Zipz mouth digs a hole and builds a house over it lives in it*  * Runs to the store*

 

Rainbow dash: Got it * Flies*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Comes out from corner* ... * Rubs cheeks* 

 

Fluttershy: .. You're shy ain't you?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): What psh no.. ... *Fluttershy stares at me* Yesh * Hides face* O-only to new ponies! 

 

Fluttershy: Well you'll love Buttershy! Shes just like you.

 

Pinkie pie: * Comes hopping back in* .. * Stares at with ballons ETC* ... Forever...... * Hops to the back of the kitchin*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... This is gonna be hard to get used to.. *Sighs* If only i wasn't so shy..

 

Fluttershy: I'm shy! And look where i am now! * Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I-i guess you're right.. I Just need overcome this Shyness! Yeaah ain't gonna happen anytime soon..

 

Fluttershy: Its fine... Being shy is cute and.. Well.. J-just cute..But there are other things!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... C-can we get this overwith and meet Your other 3 pony friends.. *She nods*

 

Fluttershy: We should go meet Applejack before Rairty and Twilight! It'll be fun to meet Appljack, she loves to harvest apples.

Lemme tell a little about her self, First.. She lives on a farm with her brother Big mac.. And such. Applejack can get c-carried away sometimes at Contests..

So be careful with them,..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Checked.. Not doing contests.. Or.. Being shy This should be easy..  O-or not..

 

Fluttershy: Oh did i tell you she has a little sister Applebloom? Shes so sweet, but sad thing is she doesn't have a cutie mark yet..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Says in mind* D-Do i even have a cutie mark? * Looks at hind* Fire?.. What does that mean... *Shakes head* O-oh yeah ... 

 

Fluttershy: She made a group with 2 other little ponies, I babysitted them once.. I thought i would be good with them like animals, but.. Sometimes it goes wrong..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): What happened?

 

Fluttershy: Y-you don't wanna know * Eye twicthes* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Must of been.. Bad?

 

FLuttershy: ... * Picks a diffrent topic* So wheres your parents?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Parents? Eh.. * Thinks of something* Oh eh Yeah my parents! They don't live in ponyville.

 

Fluttershy: .. Hmm.. How did you get here?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Thinks of something to say* Well we lived in the fire kingdom... Ish.. And well.. They sent me... Eh Off! Because they don't want me to become

like them..

 

Fluttershy: * Eyes start to water* T-that's just sad! * Hugs* So sorry that happened to you..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): O-oh its fine.. 

 

Fluttershy: Well heres the barn..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * A cow knocks me over, falls face first into ground*

 

Applejack: Oh sorry, * Picks up* You must be new in town, nice to meet you * Shakes hand* My name is Applejack, you'll love it here. Want some pie? I -

 

Fluttershy: No! I th-think hes good. Right?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Rubs dirt off face* Y-Yeah.. I think i'm good.. 

 

Applejack: But you must try my New pie!

 

Applebloom: * Comes from back of Applejack* Pwease? * Does baby face*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Facehooves* Fiiiinneee *Sighs*

 

Applejack: Great! * Stuffs face with pie*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Cheeks is stuffed with pie* G-good.. B-but i really d- * Gets stuffed with more* 

 

Applebloom: You like it? I made it my self!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Holds it in before spitting it out* M-Mmm..T-Tastes Good...

 

Applebloom: * Smiles* Woo! See Applejack! People love my baking.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Trots behind tree and spits it out*

 

Fluttershy: W-we should get going..!

 

Applejack: *Makes bleh face* Well, i hope you i see you again. Wait whats hes name?

 

Fluttershy: Oh, Dragonshy.

 

Applejack: He must be shy like you, you should let him meet your little sister,

 

Fluttershy: I'll try Heh.. 

 

Applebloom: Want more?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): N-no! I'm stuffed i can't eat no more..

 

Applebloom: Fine.... I guess i'll just * snifs* T-throw it away.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .... * Grabs and eats*

 

Applebloom: *Smiles* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): M-mmmm.. * Face turns green* So g-good..

 

Applebloom: Glad you like it! * Hops to barn*

 

Appljack: Y-you okay there?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Face turns back normal color* O-oh good.. Just.. Yeah. I'm going to stop talking now..

 

Fluttershy: Oh hes fine, he just needs rest. We'll be off now! Have a nice day Appljack.

 

Applejack: You to FLuttershy, 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): A-are we almost done... Bleh...

 

Fluttershy: Sorry about that.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I-its fine.. I'm going just need to brush my tounge and teeth to get this taste off.. Bleh...

 

Fluttershy: That pie couldn't have tasted that bad.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Wanna eat some? * Pulls out come of it*

 

Fluttershy: Never mind! Time to meet Rarity. She is great at making Outfits. I still remember when she made me that dress for the Gala.... I still have it,

She tried her best to do it.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I hope she doesn't stuff my face with c-cake or pie... 

 

Fluttershy: ... Heh..... You-you'll see.... *Opens shop door* Rairty??? Are you here!? .. Hmm She must be in her room. *Goes up stairs* Yup.  *Knocks on door* 

 

Rarity: Oh hi Fluttershy. You came in a great timing. I need you to try this on real quick!

 

Fluttershy: Wait! *Points at Dragonshy*

 

Rarity: Oh Nice idea! I'll try this on him better! 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Wait wh-what! Nonono! I ain't gonna look like a girl... *Facehooves and hide face* 

 

Rarity: Oh! You're new to ponyville! *Shakes hand while doing a dress* So Are you Fluttershy's friend?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .... *Backs up behind Fluttershy*

 

Rarity: W-what did i say? Is it my breathe? * Huffs* Nope.. Am i dirty * Looks for dirt*

 

Fluttershy: Nono.. Hes just shy to meet new ponies.

 

Rarity: Oh! Sorry, Oh Fluttershy. Can you give this to twilight when you see her? Its a part invite to Pinkie pies Party. Oh and heres one for you and Dragonshy.

 

Fluttershy: *Grabs by mouth* Mkm, I'll be sure to give it to her. *Gives one to Dragonshy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Takes and hides again*

 

Rarity: Well you should be off getting ready! I need to finish these dresses before the party. Oh.. I still need to make the hats...

 

Fluttershy: Have a nice day! *Drags Dragonshy along*

 

Rarity: *Waves and closes door*

 

Fluttershy: Time to meet Twilight!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Phew only one left.. I'm soo beat.. 

 

Fluttershy: Mhm. Let me tell you her whole name, its Twilight Sparkle. Shes nice, loves to read books and well shes a unicorn.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I-is she gonna put a spell on me...

 

Fluttershy: Oh she won't i'm pretty sure... Oh wait yeah after Twilight, its Buttershy. Sorry forgot.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... At least shes not crazy like the other ponies.. *Phews*

 

Fluttershy: I say.. Less than crazy. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): At least the day is almost over.. Wait * Trots up in front of a tree* I-is this where twilight lives??

 

Fluttershy: Yup its a libary.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Laughs* A-a * Drops on the floor* R-really!!! 

 

Fluttershy: Yup she loves books i told you.

 

Spike: * Opens door* Oh hi Fluttershy. I was just going to get some apples.

 

Fluttershy: Oh, Wait meet the new Pegasus in town. * Points*

 

Spike: *Shakes hoove* Nice to meet you i better be off.. I-i must get flowers for Rarity.. * Walks off*

 

Twilight sparkle: Oh hello, * Reading a book* 

 

Fluttershy: O-oh did i come in a bad timing? ..

 

Twilight sparkle: Nope, i'm just trying to find a recipe that's all. Whose the new pony?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Waves and hides*

 

Fluttershy: Dragonshy, hes new to Ponyville. Hes the shy one like me. After this i'm- Oh yeah * Gives Invteion* Its to Pinkie pies party,

 

Twilight sparkle: * Puts in bag* Thanks. * Uses magic to get some water* Grrr.. So hard to test this on a dragon.. Oh! Can i test this new magic spell on you 

Dragonshy?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Fi-ine....

 

Twilight sparkle: Sorry, just once * Makes a hat appear but it turns back into rock* Ouch.. T-that had to hurt..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Ow W-what was that for... * Rubs head* Dangit another bump..

 

Twilight sparkle: Oh i bet i can make that he-

 

Dragonshy (Fred): N-no its fine i think it'll go down by its self.. *Smiles*

 

Fluttershy: Well we better be off, its almost time for the party! *Waves and trots out with Dragonshy*

 

Twilight sparkle: .. Hmm.. I wonder if this is for Dragonshy.. 

 

Fluttershy: Last but not least Buttershy! *Trots to cottage*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... I really don't wanna.. meet... h-her...ish..

 

Fluttershy: * Drags* .. Come on.. Last.. Meaning of sleeping...!

 

Dragonshy: *Sighs* Fine... * Trots behind fluttershy* 

 

Fluttershy: Now Don't yell or scream or.. Yeah Talk a little low.. She can cry easily.. * Opens door a little bit at a time* Buttershy.. We're home...

 

Buttershy: * looks at while playing with Angel* Oh hi! I'v bee-

 

Fluttershy: Oh dear.. Hes the pony in... town... 

 

Buttershy: * Looks at*

 

Dragonshy (Fred):.. * Blushes* H-ello....

 

Buttershy: .... * Blushes doesn't say nothing*

 

Fluttershy: *Gives Invitetion to Party* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Keeps looking at, backups behind Fluttershy*

 

Buttershy: ... * Rubs back leg* .... M-my name is.. buter....... M-my name is b-butter..s.........*Looks at* ..... *Makes a little eek sound* ...

 

Fluttershy: *Blushes* S-she means Her name is Buttershy, now say hello.

 

Buttershy: ... H-hello... *looks at ground*  *Trots to room and closes door slowly*

 

Fluttershy: S-sorry about that.. S-shes really shy..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Stops blushing N-no its fine..

 

Fluttershy: Oh you can take a nap on the couch.. The party is tonight.. You'll need to rest. I'll be making some food, *Pets angel* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Wraps self in blankets and passes out*

 

                                 

 

 

 

 

                

                                                                (Chapter 4: Party all night long)

                                                                (Place: Cottage Time: 8pm) 

Fluttershy: *Taps Dragonshy* ... *Pokes* ....... *Yells* Wake up!!!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Grah! *Jumps up and hits head on roof* Ow... W-what was that for!!!! *Rubs head* Next time just turn on the lights...

 

Fluttershy: Sorry, but the party is starting! I'm going to get Buttershy real quick. Get ready!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Yeah ok... J-just turn on the lights next time.. *Trots outside* I wonder why we're having a party at 8pm for? Huh... Must be something fun!

 

Fluttershy: *Knocks on Buttershy's door* Party time! We can't go without you..

 

Angel: *Shows time*

 

Flutterhsy: I know i know.. *Knocks again* Please come out and go to the party with us!

 

Buttershy: *Opens door slowly* ... F-fine.... J-just don't let me hide behind you for the whole time...

 

Fluttershy: ... *Drags outside* Now we're ready! 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Sees Buttershy Hiding behind Fluttershy* Huh.

 

Fluttershy: *Keeps dragging Buttershy to party* Why are you so.. Heavy!!

 

Buttershy: ... 

 

Dragonshy (Fred:) Is it because shes wearing almost 2 jackets on her to hide  her?

 

Fluttershy: I didn't notice that.. Grah Buttershy. Please *Smiles* Do it for me?

 

Buttershy: Fine....... *Takes off jackets*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Who is this party for?

 

Fluttershy: *Covers mouth* N-no eh.. Someone!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): And who's the someone?

 

Fluttershy: Oh look at that! We're here... *Opens door*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W-why is everything dark? *Light flashes on and everyone says* Surprize !

 

Pinkie pie: Do you like it? *Stuffs mouth with cupcakes* I-i planed this party all by my self! 

 

Rainbow dash: .. Well not really.. I helped... *Facehooves* This is your welcomeing party Dragonshy! 

 

Twilight sparkle: Heh *Poors drink* I wonder wheres the rest of the ponies? * All of the ponies from Ponyville busts in* Never mind..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Y-you kidding me right? Fluttershy! I-i thought you said this was For someone!

 

Fluttershy: I couldn't have ruin the surpize can i? *Smiles* Now Buttershy.. Go get a drink?

 

Buttershy: ... *Shakes head*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Thank you all for having this.. Welcomeing.. *Looks around* W-with r-random ponies i don't know... *Face turns red* E-yeahe...... 

 

Applejack: Awh i hope you like the pie! *Eats some *Taste good to me.

 

Applebloom: Want more of my pie??

 

Dragonshy (Fred): N-no thanks.. *Pats on head* I had enough of that.. Tasty.. *Blehs* Pie.

 

Applebloom: *Smiles and trots off to her friends*

 

DJ Pony: * Blasts the music up* Lets get this part oooooonnnn!!! 

 

Pinkie pie: * Is still eatting cupcakes* *Talks with stuffed mouth* Y.yeah!

 

Rarity: *Trotls slowly inside* Every.. Step back! ... This is a new dress! I don't to get dirty! No one would get hurt.. If this doesn't get dirty Got me! *trotls slowly

drinks* Got my eye on you...

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Drinks* Who made this? Its great!

 

Fluttershy: Oh Buttershy did. She always makes drinks for the parties. *Drags out Buttershy and puts infront of Dragonshy* 

 

Buttershy: *Blushes* ... P-please let me hide.. 

 

Fluttershy: *Gives the stare* ... *Sighs* Please? *Smiles*

 

Buttershy: F-for you... *Trots with mane in face* 

 

Twilight sparkle: Awh.. Thats just so cute! *Hugs* So shy to. 

 

Buttershy: ... *Blushes more* P-please l-let me hide... *Begs*

 

Fluttershy: Just for five mins?

 

Buttershy: ...W.... 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Drinks more* This is so good.. How did you make this! 

 

Pinkie pie: Oh oh i know! Love!!! Right? Am i right..?!?! N-no? Yes? ... No fun..

 

Rainbow dash: *Facehooves*  Pinkie pie.. Maybe go say hi to the guesses?

 

Pinke pie: Oh oh that's a great idea! *Hops*

 

Applejack: Wheres applebloom??

 

Applebloom: Oh i'm here! *Runs under table*

 

Applejack: Be careful!!

 

Applebloom: You worry too much big sister.. *Pats mane*

 

Applejack: B-w-...c...Never mind...

 

Mr.Cake: Oh There's a new pony in ponyville? Great! Nice to meet you. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Hides face* H-hello... 

 

Fluttershy: *Smiles* Hes the shy one. Wheres Ms.Cake?

 

Mr.Cake? Oh shes in the back baking more cakes! Oh Whats his name?

 

Fluttershy: Oh Dragonshy. I think he'll like to taste some of your cake right?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .... *nods but blushes* 

 

Buttershy: *Togs on Fluttershy* .. I-its been 5 mins...

 

Fluttershy: *Sighs* Fine you can hide now..

 

Buttershy: *Smiles* *Looks where to hide* ! *Trots behind Fluttershy*

 

Fluttershy: Or behind me... Oh dear.. Sorry about that They both are the shy ones.,

 

Mr.Cake: Oh its fine they can try the cake anytime they want! It is Dragonshy Welcome party.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Smiles* *Gets a small piece of cake* T-this is kinda good.. *Eats more* 

 

Buttershy: .. It looks tasty b-but ... *Togs on Dragonshy* ... *Shows baby face* C-can you get me some?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Oh sure thing * Gets a plate and puts a huge piece on it* Sh.. Don't tell anyone *Gives* Or they'll get jellyish

 

Buttershy: *Eyes sparkle* Mhm.. * Sticks whole face in the piece* 

 

Fluttershy: Finally You got something for your self!

 

Buttershy: *Puts hoove up and waves it around*

 

Fluttershy: *Giggles* Glad you like it

 

Twilight sparkle: Lemme try some! *Floats it to her and puts it in mouth* .... *Muchs it* ... *Gulps* W-Who made this... I-its so good....!!

 

Mr.Cake: Oh thank you! 

 

Applejack: .. Lemme try some.. My pie is always better! *Takes a nip* ... *Eyes open wide* T-this is .. Well.. Not good as mine. *Takes more nips* Psh s-still not gooood.....

 

Rarity: Hmfp! *Tries to eat a little without getting dirty* ... It is good.. But! I shall not take a risk.. *Glares at*

 

Applejack: You're too worried about your dress.. You can clean it-

 

Rarity: * Puts hoove on mouth* SH.... Y-you don't know how hard it is to clean these kind of dresses... T-trust me.

 

Applejack: I guess? Applebloom you need to try some of this cake!

 

Applebloom: Come on team! The tree cursders.. Oh oh what should we think of this time!

 

Scootaloo: I know I know! We should be called.. The Three crusders Food testers!

 

Sweetie belle: That's a great name.. Maybe we could get our cutie marks!

 

Applebloom: Dig in!

 

Applejack: W-wait! 

 

Twilight sparkle: * Freezez them* Phew... Maybe get a plate and get a piece? 

 

Applebloom: Fine.... 

 

Twilight sparkle: Good my little ponies.

 

Buttershy: *Sticks head out* .. * Face is full of cake* .. W-whoops..

 

Fluttershy: Awh.. *Wipes Buttershy's face* All better!

 

Buttershy: *Blushes* .. F-Fluttershy. I'v could of did it my self... *Wipes face*

 

Fluttershy: Oh sorry...

 

Pinkie pie: *Stuffs face in the whole cake* 

 

Mr.Cake: Nnno!! I-I put in so much work... In that cake,,

 

Pinkie pie: Would it make you happy if i tell you this? *Smiles* It tastes so good! Huh did it? Did it, did it!!

 

Mr.Cake: *Sigh* Y-yup..

 

Pinkie pie: Yay! 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Well! I think we all shou-

 

Pinkie pie: Party all night long!! *Pulls out ballons*

 

Spike: *Runs in* W-What did i miss! Y-you didn't tell me we were gonna have a party! * Jumps into cake*

 

Twilight sparkle: Spike! Aw.. Never mind.. 

 

Buttershy: *Crawls to the pie* ... *Eats a little bit of pie *

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Sees* .. Why doesn't see just .. Never mind.. *Gets a plate and puts some pie on it* Here... You're welcome.. 

 

Buttershy: *Blushes* ... *Sqeeks* ..T-..thank you *Smiles* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Anytime. *Trots off*

 

Buttershy: ..  *Stuffs face into pie*

 

Fluttershy: What time is it anyways?

 

Twilight sparkle: Oh lemme see... *Looks at clock* .. Hmm 10pm!

 

Fluttershy: O-oh dear its getting late..

 

Twilight sparkle: Heh... Come on one more hour? *Smiles* Please?.

 

Flutteershy: .. Fine..

 

Rainbow dash: Everyone go outside!

 

Pinkie pie: Oh yeah y-

 

Rainbow dash: ... Don't....

 

Pinkie pie: *Puts hoove in mouth* Mhm!

 

Rainbow dash: Good. *Everypony goes outside*

 

Rainbow dash: Now for the final! *Flies up to the air* Here i go..

 

Twilight sparkle: I-is she gonna do a Rainboom!?!

 

Pinkie pie: Mhm! *Hops up and down*

 

Rainbow dash: * Goes down* 

 

Fluttershy: Buttershy you're gonna miss it!

 

Buttershy: ... *Opens eyes*

 

Rainbow dash: A-Almost! T-there!

 

Rarity: ..  

 

Rainbow dash: *Makes a rainboom* *Flies pass by Buttershy* Woooo!!!

 

Buttershy: I-its so bea-

 

Applejack: Beauitful..

 

Rainbow dash: You're all welcome! *Ponies cheer* *Waves* Hahaha...

 

Twilight sparkle: That's the end of it! Everypony go home, hope to see you next time.

 

Fluttershy: Well time to go home Buttershy See ya next time.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Y-yeah..

 

Fluttershy: Whats wrong?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Nothing, its nothing!

 

Fluttershy: If you say so. *Trots off with Buttershy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Sighs* I got no where to stay. . .

 

Buttershy: .... Hmmm... *Followes Dragonshy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Sits beside a tree* This should d- *Hears something in the bush* 

 

Bush: *Rustle rustle*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): * Looks at it* W-whos there! I-*Hides behind tree*

 

Buttershy: *Jumps out of bush* ... *Smiles* S-sorry!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W-what you doing here! Wheres Fluttershy? Shes gonna be mad at you!

 

Buttershy: S..Sorry.. I just wanted to see if you got a place to stay.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): B-But still! *Sighs* Yes i got no place t-to stay,,

 

Buttershy: *Smiles* Than you can stay with us!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Wait what? Is Fluttershy ok with this?

 

Buttershy: Sure s-she is...

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. FIne.,

 

Buttershy: *Shows Dragonshy the way to the cottage* Here we are. *Opens door* Fluttershy must already be asleep..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. Shouldn't we tell.

 

Buttershy: Shhh! You'll wake her up.. She'll find out soon enough.. J-just get in the couch.. *Gets a pillow and a blanket* Here y-you go *Blushes*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Thanks *Takes* I'm beat... * Passes out*

 

Buttershy: *Whispers to self* Oooh.. I hope Fluttershy Won't be mad.. *Hides in room*

 

 

 


 

                                                (Chapter 5: To do list)

                                                (Place: Fluttershy's cottage Day: 2 Time: 10am

 

Fluttershy: *Wakes up* *Yawns* ... *Flies down stairs*  I need to make some coffee....I wonder hows Buttershy is doing. H-

*Sees Dragonshy sleeping on couch* W-..*Screams* Buttershy!!!!

 

Buttershy: What W- *Trots into door* Ow... *Opens door and rushs down the stairs* W-what is it?!

 

Fluttershy: *Points at Dragonshy* H-how did he get in here?!

 

Buttershy: Ooh... E-eh.. 

 

Fluttershy: ... Did you?

 

Buttershy: Y-yes... Sorry...

 

Fluttershy: N-Next time ask me! 

 

Buttershy: S-sorry.. He had no place to stay.. I felt bad, 

 

Fluttershy: He lied? He told me he had a place to stay.. I shouldn't had believe him..

 

Buttershy: H-he didn't want to make any trouble.

 

Fluttershy: Sorry For yelling at you Buttershy.. *Pats mane* You did, what your heart told you.

 

Buttershy: *Blushes* Thanks.. N-next time i'll ask..

 

Fluttershy: Oh yeah *Gives food* Give this to the animals, i need to make some coffee real quick. 

 

Buttershy: Right. B-.. I ain't very good with an-animals...

 

Fluttershy: Its only because you're too shy. 

 

Buttershy: I'll try my best.. *Trots outside*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Yawns* ... Ohh my b-back.. *Pops it* Again witht he cou- *Sees Fluttershy* Oh... Nonno... S-I can't let her find me..

*Looks for a place to hide* I'm going to g-

 

Fluttershy: No need to worry. Already found out,

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Blushes* W-what?! S-sorry i slept here i had no place to stay. 

 

Fluttershy: *Smiles* Next time don't lie to me, I mean .. I-if you want to.. No i mean.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I won't.. *Smells coffee* I-Is that coffee?

 

Fluttershy: Mhm, that party *Yawns* Stood up too late..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Heh... C-... Can i have some? J-just asking,

 

Fluttershy: I'm making enough for all *Smiles*,

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .... Where's Buttershy?

 

Fluttershy: Oh shes outside, feeding the animals!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Does she nee- *Hears huge bang outside* She needs help doesn't she?

 

Fluttershy: *Sighs* Like always... Please go help her!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Mkm *Trots outside* ... *Looks around* .. Where is she? *Sees her* W-wait slow down! 

 

Buttershy: *Looks at* Oh dear.. *Flies into* S-sorry sorry!! 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Again another bump! *Rubs mane* I-its fine... Just look out where you're going next time... Why were you flying away?

 

Buttershy: I-i can't feed the animals! *Looks at cute little bunny* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): How hard is it to just feed a bunny.. Let me show how a pro does it. *Grabs food*  *Trots up to bunny slowly*

You hungry?

 

Bunny: *Sniffs* ... *Nods*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Smiles* Now sit down, *Bunny sits down* Good! *Gives food in bowl* Don't eat to fast, *Looks back at Buttershy*

And that's how a pro does it.

 

Buttershy: *Grabs food* I can do that easy! *Walks up to a bird* Come here b-... *Gets scared* Noo!! *Flies behind tree*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Freaks out* H-..How does somepony get scared of a bird... *Facehooves* 

 

Buttershy: S-she has a big beck..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Grabs bird food* *Sighs* Here ya go *Poors some in bowl* L-let me do this.. You can go get some coffee.

 

Buttershy: *Smiles* I'll bring you some! *Hops inside*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I should make a to do list.. Huh.. It'll be a good idea.. *Feeds more animals* There you go little bird, Hmm

*Buttershy Hops back outside with two cups of coffee*

Buttershy: Here you go!! *Gives* By the way, Fluttershy needs to get some more animal food, she told me to ask you if you can

get some...

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Smiles* Sure thing! *Puts on to do list* I'll be off *Drinks coffee*

 

Buttershy: Okay, she said be sure to come back before night fall! *Waves off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred):  Finally i'm all by my self... Hmm.. The *Looks at map* Shop is this.. No.. This way! Yes this way *Sees ponville*

Hmm.. Before night fall *Laughs* Its only 10am.. I'll get there before it even hits 11!

 

Pinkie pie: Lalala... *Sees Dragonshy* OOhhh... He could help me.. *Hops infront*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Stops* ... What is it Pinkie pie...

 

Pinkie pie: Ohhh Nooootttthhhiiing.. *Smiles while hopping*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Sighs* You need help don't you...

 

Pinkie pie: Maaayybbbeee.... Fiinneee i do! Ahhhh!! I need you to get me 40 more ballons, another cake annndd!  Some food for gummy.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Sighs* *Puts on to do list* Sure thing i'll do it..

 

Pinkie pie: Yay! *Hops back to sugarcube corner*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W-Why can't she get the cake.. Now to get .... .. Still need food.. Hmmm.. *Looks for shop* *Walks pass Rainbow dash house*

 

Rainbow dash: *Yawns* I'm too lazy to clear the skies today... *Sees Dragonshy* Heheeh.. Hes a pegasus.. Just like me.. He can clear

the skies for me.. *Flies infront of Dragonshy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Map gets blown to the floor* W-what is it Rainbow dash..?

 

Rainbow dash: *Looks at* .. About the sky... Can you do it for me?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Really? 

 

Rainbow dash: I can clear them 10 seconds flat, Just.. Too lazy today. Thanks anywho. Don't forget to make it 20% Cooler see ya

around! *Flies off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): She means right now does she.. *Sighs* *Looks at wings* ... H-how do i f-

 

Rainbow dash: Grah you're just like Fluttershy *Sighs* Like this.. *Unflaps wings* Noow Just jump and fly! Easy as that

By the way been here the whole time. *Laughs*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Tries but fails, lands face first* 

 

Rainbow dash: *Cracks up* S-sorry, Just.. *Picks up* Just keep doing what i did *Flies off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Tries again* Aha! *Looks at clouds* Awh t-thats a lot... 

 

                                   (Place: Ponyville Time:12am

Dragonshy (Fred): *Sweats* I-i'm done! F-Finnaly!!! Thank the heavens... *Gets a drink from river*

*Looks at to do list* *Checks off Clear the sky* Phew 2 more to go!

 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): A..Almost to the store..  *Walks pass Applejacks barn*

 

Applejack: Wait up!!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Y-

 

Appljack: *Pulls* I need you to pick these apples from the trees! I need to go make some Apple pie for Granny! *Runs off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. I-I need to pick 10 trees?!?! *Facefloors* Why is it always me! *Eyes flicker red* G- * eyes flicker back to brown*

What? What was that? .. Huh.. Felt like i.. *Shakes head* Time to get bucking.. *Tries to buck one tree* .. *One apple falls*

Well.. Good for rookies.... *Sighs* T-This is gonna take a long time.. *Facetrees* 

 

 

                                                      (Place: By Applejacks Barn Time: 1pm

Dragonshy (Fred): *Bucks one more time* I'i'm done... Thank ... *Back hoove gets a cramp* Ohh Cramp! *Kicks back leg into tree* I-it hurts!

 

Applejack: ... *Puts apples in basket* Thanks for the help! *Gives some pie* I hope you'll like it *Trots back*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Pops back* Ohh... I'm going to need a very.. Very.. Hot bath tonight.. Now please just let me go to the store! 

*Trots faster to the store* So! Cl-

 

Rarity: Oh hi There! *Pulls in shop* Sorry i need you for a quick second! *Puts a hat on* Hmm.. Does this look good enough?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): E-Eh... I-Yes! Yes it does!

 

Rarity: Ooo! *Puts Clothes on Dragonshy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W-Wait! *Gets choked by tux* I..T-Too tight.. *Face turns purple* 

 

Rarity: Hmm..... Nonono..... Yes thats it! * Puts a tie on* Ta da. Like it?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Tries to breathe* Y-yes.. I-..like it very much!

 

Rarity: Oh goodie! *Takes off* Dress up time!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Wait i n- 

 

Rarity: Hmm.. Nono.. Too small.. No.. T-Too ugly.. Oh!! That's just the right color! I need to go get more frabic be right back!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Flies out of shop* Not gonna happen.. *Flies into tree*

*Gets a bump again* ... Again.. *Rubs* *Sees shop* F- Finally.. *Trots inside shop* Now.. Fluttershy needed animals food.. *Gets a 

large bag, Checks* Pinkie pie needed some Food? Wait.. What kind of food!! *Sighs* He doesn't has teeth.. Hmm Soft.. Soft here it is!

*Gets fan food* Hmm Next.. I need... Ahah 40 ballons! *Goes to the party area* Hmm.. S-she didn't say the colors.. Graaah..

I'm guessing she likes it 20% Cooler just like Rainbow dash *Gets rainbow ballons* Hmmm... Noow I need... C-..cake *Facehooves*

*Walks to sugarcube corner* There's the place *Goes in* 

 

Mr.Cake: Oh Hello Dragonshy, You ordered a cake right?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I guess i did.. *Takes*

 

Mr.Cake: Here ya go Pinkie pie made it. She said she needs it Better be off.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Thanks, *Checks off ballons and cake*  Now time to take the cake and ballons to Pinkie pies.. *Sighs* 

*Carries ballons plus cake* *Trots up to Pinkies pies house* ... I wonder i-

 

Pinkie pie: *Slams open door* Ohh! Thank you! *Grabs ballons and cake* Yay! I can have a after after after! Ahhhh.. After after after 

Ahhhh!! After after after Party for gummy! *Slams door*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Ok.... *Flies to Fluttershy's cottage* Phew Only 4pm.. I made it right on time.. *Knocks on door*

 

Fluttershy: *Opens door* Oh thank you!! *Grabs animal food* Now we won't run out so fast, By the way i heared that you helped 

Pinkie pie And the others.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. Y-You don't wanna know.. It.. It was a nightmare..

 

Fluttershy: It couldn't been that bad.. *Smiles*

 

Buttershy: *Smiles* Oh You're home! *Flies and rams into* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred) *Gets flung into a tree* ... *Falls face first* 

 

Buttershy: Oohh! I'm soo sorry... I'm still learning how to fly. *Picks up* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Mumbles* I... Think.. I broked.. My spine.. *Cracks*

 

Fluttershy: Well I'm going to start cooking! You should take a load off Dragonshy, you did your best.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Plops on couch* Graaaah My back legs.. *Sees them bruce* *Sighs*

 

Buttershy: What happened?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. Well... I had to clear the sky.. Tooked one hour.. 2nd.. I had to buck 10 trees.. And only 1 felled off eatch

time.. So.. That pretty much explaines it!

 

Buttershy: *Smiles* You shouldn't get up for a while.. If they hurt that bad... *Blushes* I mean.. If you w-want to.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Hah.. 

 

                                                     (Place: Fluttershy's cottage Time: 8pm

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Sees back legs* *Sighs* ....

 

Fluttershy: Foods ready!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Tries to get up but fails*

 

Buttershy: *Brings food to Dragonshy*

 

Fluttershy: Angel... Come get your food..!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Thanks, *Stuffs face in bowl*

 

Buttershy: *Stares* Hungry boy.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Cleans face off* .. Heh.... *Everyone eats*

 

Fluttershy: *Yawns* .... *Wubbles up stairs* H-have a good night Dragonshy.. *Closes door*

 

Buttershy: .. *Wraps Dragonshy in blankets* Sleep well *Smiles* Closes door*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Today was.. A.. Rough day *Sighs* I hope i could get up before morning.. *Passes out*

 

 


                          (Chapter 6: A bad dream)

                                               (Place: Fluttershy's cottage Time: 5am Day: 3)

 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .... *Wakes up in dream* W-Where am i?!!?

 

Voice: *Laughs* .... You don't know who i am.. Don't you? 

 

Dragonshy (Fred):  W-Who are you!! 

 

Voice: ... My.. Name starts with a D.... 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... D? ... Show your self!! 

 

Voice: .. No.. I don't want to ruin the surpize! *Throws Dragonshy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Hits face first* ... I_is this a dream! G-Get out!!!! *Yells* 

 

Voice: .. *Laughs* Soon.. Soon it won't be a dream.. *Shows*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Sees in orb* * Ponyville going into chaos Buttershy and Fluttershy turns evil* ... That'll never happen!

 

Voice: .. *Shows more*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Sees Twilight And the rest trying to use the elements but it doesn't work* 

 

Voice: I'll be unstopble! *Laughs evily* Ooohh... This time. This time! I won't get defeated by those ponies. And you.. Don't Stand a chance..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Yells* I well end you! I Well never let you take over p-

 

Voice: Shhh... We don't want it to happen sooner do we? *Laughs* Well than.. You better warn your friends.. *Floats away*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Looks at orb* T-This can't be true.. N-no! It won't happen! *Eyes flicker red* .. Graah! *Wakes up* 

 

Buttershy: *Pokes* .. Are you okay?! You're screaming your sleep!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Hits head* ... N.*Rubs head* Again... No no Buttershy. everything i-is fine.. *Looks down*

 

Buttershy: ... Somethings wrong.. W-what happened?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): It was a bad dream.. Just a dream!

 

Buttershy: *Yawns* Its only 5am... *Goes back to room*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Whispers* W-Who was he.. That voice.. I know that voice.. I-is that really gonna happen.. *Sighs* Just a bad dream..

*Sleeps*

 

Voice: .. *Comes back in head* OOohhh.. Dragonshy.... *Laughs* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Leave me alone!

 

Voice: ... Fine *Laughs* I'll let you sleep... This time *Fades away*

 

                                                         (Place: Fluttershy's cottage Time: 8am

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Wakes up, rubs eyes* I-i can't sleep...*Trots to frege* Hmm.. Does she got milk? .. *Looks for milk* ... *Sees some*

Yes! *Poors some in a cup* Ahh This should help me settle down a little.. *sits back* That voice.. It keeps coming back to me..*Drinks*

                        

Fluttershy: *Sings outside* Come here little one.. *Feeds* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W-what! Shes already awake.. *Hears Buttershy snoring* ... Huh.. She wakes up early.. Too early..

 

Fluttershy: *Puts note on door* I'm going to gummies party! You're welcome to join.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Sees note and reads* .. Hmm.. I sho* Looks at hooves* ... They're good for now.. I could fly! *Taps on Buttershy's door*

 

Buttershy: *Wubbles to door* Whhaaa...t *Rubs eyes* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Shows note* 

 

Buttershy: *Jumps* Gummies party!!! We goto go! *Hurries to Pinkies house*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Flies to Pinkies*

 

Twilight sparkle: Oh hi there Dragonshy! *Opens door* Come right in.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Blushes* Thanks, *Trots in*

 

Fluttershy: Oh you two came! *Smiles* This is gummy

 

Pinkie pie: Don't worry he won't bite.. Well i mean he can't bite! He has no teeth.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Er... Kinda.. Weird..

 

Applejack: Isn't he so cute!? *Gives party hat*

 

Rarity: Don't you like them? I made them all my self. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Pokes at it* Yup! Its glass but its fine!

 

Rarity: I told you girls, he would like them.

 

Rainbow dash: .. Not cool enough... Mine needs to be ... 20% Cooloer.. 

 

Fluttershy: Mines fine,

 

Buttershy: *Smiles* Same here.

                                       

Applejack: *Puts one on gummy*

 

Gummy: .. *Tries to eat it*

 

Pinkie pie: Nono! Its your hat *Puts back on*

 

Buttershy: Hes so cute! *Pets*

 

Gummy: *Eyes go crosesided* .. *Tries to bite* ... 

 

Spike: *Runs in with cloth* H-Here you go r-rarity...

 

Rarity: Oh thank you spike. *Takes* Now go along! I need to make another hat.

 

Spike: .. *Walks off* Me.. Nono... I did that.. No thank you psh.. *Goes in back*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... I sh- *Everything stops* ... F-Fluttershy? *Pokes* Fluttershy!!

 

Voice: .. *Laughs* Ohhh the look on your face...

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Eyes open wide* T-..That w-.. That voice! It was in my dream!

 

Voice: Heh.. You're catching up pretty quickly... Don't they all.. Look happy?... 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. Yes?

 

Voice: When i turn ponyville upside down.. They won't be looking like that anymore... *Laughs*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Yells* Stop it! *Time goes back to normal*

 

Applejack: Eh.. You ok..? You just yelled stop it *Rubs mane* ..?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Looks away* Its nothing, i just got a hang over.

 

Applejack: .. *Looks at weird* ... 

 

Pinkie pie: *Smiles* Come on! We need to e-eat this cake... *Stuffs face*

 

Twilight sparkle: ... *Cuts slices and puts on plates* 

 

Fluttershy: *Grabs* ... This is good *Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... * Trots off to the kitchin* ... 

 

Spike: *Hides jewls* Oh hi there! Didn't think you'll c-come back here.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Oh hi Spike. *Smiles* 

 

Spike: Whats wrong? You seem down. Something bothering you?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Its nothing, just my head hurts. *Trots back into room*

 

Rainbow dash: *Stuffs face into slice*

 

Rarity: Oh have manners! *Takes a little bite at a time*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Grabs a plate* ... Hmmm I-its good.

 

Buttershy: Who made this, its so good! *Eats more*

 

Pinkie pie: Oh i had help from applejack. I kept begging her untill she gave in! *Hops*

 

Applejack: .. Yeah she made me. But we made a great cake best one i did yet.

 

Twilight sparkle: Oh come on gals, And .. Boys We should dance. *Puts on music*

 

Pinkie pie: ... *Puts on gummies music* Much better! *Gets ballons*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Tries to dance* I ain't a great dancer.. If you know what i mean.

 

Fluttershy: You'll get use to it. *Dances*

 

Buttershy: *Hops in with Twilight*

 

Rainbow dash: *Flies around* Heh,

 

Applejack: I'll keep. *Hides behind table and eats more cake*

 

Rarity: I guess i can dance.. Just not getting dirty!

 

Twilight sparkle: You worry too much Rarity.. 

 

Rarity: You don't know how hard to get this dress clean.. It'll take ages! Ages!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): By the way Pinkie.. Why doesn't Gummy got teeth?

 

Pinkie pie: You don't wanna know. *Carries Gummy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I-i should really get going, i need some stuff to do.

 

Pinkie pie: Awh.. See ya later! *Waves off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ..  What was that voice... Why does it keep bugging me..*Thinks* Nothing to worry about Dragonshy.. Everything well be fine,

I hope.. *Looks up to sky* Would that really happen. It can't.. We got the 6 mane.. *Laughs* I'm just over thinking this.. I just need

some rest.. A lot of.. Rest... *Gets dizy* W-.. Blackouts*

 

Voice: *Laughs* Welcome back...

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. Where am! Get out of my head already! 

 

Voice: But.. I'm not in your head.. *Laughs* I'm everywhere... I'm looking at you every step.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Just show your self already! 

 

Voice: *Laughs* Do you think i'm that stupid? I'm not going to get busted.. Now.. I'm just waring you, in three days.. Something bad is going

To happen.. *Laughs* Ohh you better tell your friends! Like they well believe you.. Now have a nice.. Day.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Feels something rubbing mane*

 

Applebloom: Wake up!! *Pokes*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): G-grah.. *Rubs eyes* 

 

Applebloom: I saw you just fall! Are you okay? 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Smiles* Yeah just tired.. Hang over.

 

Applebloom: If you say so.. 

 

Sweetie bell: Is he okay?

 

Applebloom: Yup hes just tired.

 

Sweetie bell: Oh pbew.. I should of sang, that should of woked him up.. We should be going to everfree forest! We need to go find a new

advendure!

 

Applebloom: *Smiles* Bye Dragonshy!  *Trots off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): T-Three days.. I need to tell them! *Flies back to the party* *Slams open door* 

 

Pinkie pie: Oh you're already back?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Tells them what happened*

 

Applejack: Are you sure..? Probably you need some rest. You've been working hard.

 

Twilight sparkle: Starts with a D?... Applejack is right. You need some rest.

 

Fluttershy: *Hides under couch with Buttershy* 

 

Rainbow dash: Nah.. You're just trying to trick us. You need some rest *Pats*

 

Rarity: If he gots jewls i'm fine! *Looks at Rarity* Oh i mean.. Yeah! You need some rest.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W-Why won't non of you believe me!! *Runs around* You must! 

 

Twilight sparkle: Sorry, we just got no proof it won't happen.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Poorf? Proof! Wasn't that enough! I don't need rest! This is going to happen! 

 

Applejack: Cam down.. Maybe you need.. Some time off? Lay back for a while.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Graah! *Slams door open* If non of you won't believe me! Than don't. But when it happens, don't come crying to me. *Slams

Door close* That voice was right.. No one believes me! *Flies into tree* *Rubs head* S-Stupid tree! *Bucks tree* Grah! *Trots off to

River* 

 

Voice: I.. Toooollldd you... *Laughs*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): You'll won't take over ponyville. I well stop you. I don't care if they don't listen to me!

 

Voice: OOooh.. You want this to happen sooner do you?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): No i don't! Just leave me alone! 

 

Voice:.. You're no fun anymore.. I'll go pick on another pony. *Fades away*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I need to calm down.. *Looks in water* Who is he.. Why does he want to take over ponyville so badly?!

*Thinks* I don't even know who i am.. All i remember is passing out.. Was i someone else? Was i in another realm?! *Rubs head*

If only i remember! This well be easy.. Why was i sent  here? Why won't no one tell me! ... *Sighs* No need for yelling now..

I'll find out soon.. I hope.. 

 

Pony: .. I know how you feel. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Screams* Who are you! *Hides behind bush*

 

Pony: .. Don't be scared of us.. I'm prencess Luna.. *Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. N-next time don't sneak up on me like- Wait .. P-Prencess? *Bows* I'm so sorry!

 

Luna: .. *Laughs* Its fine.. No need to be scared. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Y-You're not mad? 

 

Luna: .. No, Dragonshy.. I'v been hearing the same voice. He said it'll happen in 3 days.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Y-You know my name? And the voice?

 

Luna: Yes, i know everypony. That's a prencess job. *Laughs*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Sits back down* Does anypony believe you to?

 

Luna: No..  

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... All we could do now is.. Just wait...

 

Luna: We can't just wait. We need to train for it. I become more powerful when i turn evil. But i need to control it. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Remembers* When i always get mad, my eyes flicker to red.. I don't know why.. 

 

Luna: That's your inner self. *Points at cutie mark* Your cutie mark is fire. That is why you rage easily.  If you control your inner self,

you can summon fire. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Can't only unicorns do that? I'm just a pegasus..

 

Luna: It doesn't need to come from the horn, it comes from the heart. You were born with the element of fire. I know you. *Laughs* I could

tell you your pass.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): H-How! 

 

Luna: *Makes Dragonshy sit* This might take a while. Dragonshy Your real name is Fred.  You were sent here to stop... I can't say his name.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): F-Fred? .. My name is Fred?!? Who was i!

 

Luna: You were a human. Another realm. You were a pony before you were a human Fred. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): A human? How was i a pony befo-

 

Luna: Let me talk... You lived in the fire kingdom. Your parents were the king and qween. They owned it. But they didn't want you to become

Evil like them. They sent you away to the human realm. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): D-Did i look the same?!?

 

Luna: *Laughs* I can't believe that you guessed your own pony name. Dragonshy. You need to control you inner self. Your parents are very proud

of you. *Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. W-Well i be able to stay.. In.. Ponyville? I don't want to get sent back to the human realm.. 

 

Luna: Its my big sisters choice. Not mine. But for now we need to train for the day he'll come.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): R-right.. I won't let them get hurt. Never. 

 

Luna: Last time. The mane 6 stopped him. They used the elements. But he has grown stronger. He has broken out of his stone. Now its

Up to us to help them defeat him. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. W-We should get some rest first? We can't train like this..

 

Luna: You're right. *Makes it go night* *Pops open two tents* The red is yours mines the black. Good night Dragonshy, You better get a good

night rest..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Trots into tent* Y-You to... *Sleeps*

 

 


        (Chapter 7: Training)

                                                        (Place: Everfree forest Time: 6am Day: 4)

 

Luna: *Yells* Wake up!!!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Jumps out of tent* Yes ma'am! Ready for d-

 

Luna: ... Really? You felled for it! *Laughs* *Eyes glow* Drop down and give me 50! 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W_what?!

 

Luna: *Makes Dragonshy do it*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I-I thought i was going to train my inner self! *Does 40* N-Not this!! Luna!!!

 

Luna: .. You're not done wth 50! 10 more!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Does 50* n-

 

Luna: *Makes Dragonshy do 40 laps of flying*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Flies into a tree* ... O-.. *Falls over*

 

Luna: ... You are not fit.. *Sighs* I guess that good enough... Now time *Throws into tree*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Hits face first* ... W-Why are you doing this!! 

 

Luna: .. *Makes tree fall over on Dragonshy * You'll see *Laughs* ... *Throws in river*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): G-... *Tries to catch breathe* ... *Eyes start to flicker*

 

Luna: Good... Good... *Throws in the sky, slams Dragonshy to the ground*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Eyes flicker Bloody red* ... I said *Summoms fire orbs* Stop it..

 

Luna: W-What?!? How!... It can't be.. I need to teach him to control his inner self! *Hides behind rock*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Throws a orb beside rock*

 

Luna: *Puts out fire* S-SOrry aboutt his Dragonshy! *Throws in river*

 

Dragonshy (Fred):  What happened? *Sees barnt grass* 

 

Luna: I unleashed your inner self.. When you rage.. I did not know that... Time to train you to contorl your inner self..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. D-Did i almost hurt you?

 

Luna: *Sees burn* N-no! No! 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ...  

 

Luna: Now, First of all you need to learn how to summon those.. Orbs.. Things, without raging.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): This is gonna take a while is it..

 

Luna: *Grins* Y-yup... But how.. *Thinks* Ahah! First of all you need to contorl your anger!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. How?

 

Luna: *Laughs* This is going to be fun... *Pokes*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Ingores* .... 

 

Luna: *Taps and pokes* Dragonshy!!! You home!?!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... * Sits still* .... 

 

Luna: Heh.. You're doing too good.. *Teases*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Oh for brony god.. 

 

Luna: *Pokes ears* .. Wake up!!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Eyes twicthes* ...

 

Luna: Forget this *Slams Dragonshy to the floor* I said rage already.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Eyes flicker* N-.. Stop it.. Please I don't want to rage.!

 

Luna: .. Contorl you rage *Stops* You need to contorl it.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Both eyes flicker red* I .. *Holds head* I won't give.. U- 

 

Luna: Come on! Do it for once! 2 days left!!  

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Eyes flicker normal* I- I can't do it! I can't just contorl rage! You can't do that. 

 

Luna: *Sighs* This is going to be hardier than i thought.. Graaaah... Just.. Think of something Nice?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. Not going to work. 

 

Luna: I think i got a idea. First i make you rage then. You think i'm one of your friends.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Go for i* Gets thrown to the tree* The tree again really? *Falls face first*

 

Luna: Not working with tree anymore.. What about this? *Hoof smacks*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): N-No t-that just hurts.. *Tear falls* M-Manly tears..

 

Luna: Oh for.. Pony.. *Bucks into air* ..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Falls face first* *Eyes flicker red* *Gets up* ...

 

Luna: Your not you anymore *Facepalms* This isn't going to work is it..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ..?

 

Luna: Eh? Dragonshy? Talk?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): What? *Sees fire orbs* Wait... How am i not..

 

Luna: Y-Your doing it! That's right! Don't think about it! Clear your mind.. I knew that.. If i was locked away for almost 1000 years..

Nothing to do in there.. Nothing.. *Sighs* Now.. Aim for river.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Tries to aim for river* Its not that easy to shoot with *Fire* ...

 

Luna: .. You're not Derpy.. Graah! Just aim! For the huge big river..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Fine.. *Aims* Ready... Set.. Huh what should i name my f-

 

Luna: Just fire!!!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Fires*

 

Luna: ... Y-You missed...

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Told you fire isn't easy to aim.

 

Luna: *Sighs* You can contorl your rage just can't.. Aim very well.. Clear your mind. Don't think of anything. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I'm pretty sure i'v seen this somewhere.. *Aims again* This time i won't miss *Fires again* *Misses*

 

Luna: ... At least you missed 1.9 meters that time...

 

Dragonshy (Fred): C-can we just get on.. To *Eyes flicker back* *Time freezes* Lu- 

 

Luna: ... Happens.

 

Voice: .. You didn't freeze?!? 

 

Luna: You pretty much do this to me everytime.. So... Used to it.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): What do you want..

 

Voice: Oohh nothing, just seeing you, you know fail. *Laughs* The look on your face when you fail.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. 

 

Luna: Stop picking on him. I already know who you are.

 

Voice: Oh wait! Oh yeah if you tell him i'll come 1 day sooner..

 

Luna: .. *Winces* Why can't you just turn back into stone!! 

 

Voice: Ooohh.. I don't know.. I just want to get revenge on this little town. You know, twilight.. *Laughs* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): We won't let you get non of them.

 

Voice: *Laughs* Do you really think fire could hurt me?! *Laughs even more* Oohh i'm going to hurt my voice if i keep laughing like that..

And luna. You were evil.. Don't you like being evil? Its fun! Join me.

 

Luna: Never! I regeat for doing that. 

 

Voice: Oh yeah and hmm... Remember the orb when i showed you when they failed using the elements? Hmm, those are the only things that can

seal me away.. Not weak fire.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Yells* I don't care what can't hurt you! I well stop you!

 

Luna: Don't forget Dis-... I must.. I must say your voice.

 

Voice: *Laughs* Nono. Let me say it. My name is Discord. Got it? Meaning i could come earler!! Oh this is great.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): D-... *Hides behind Luna* 

 

Luna: .. We're not scared of you.

 

Discord: Heheheh.. You really want me to come today don't you?

 

Luna: Do it! 

 

Discord: ... Nah. Too lazy today.. *Yawns* I'll come next afternoon. *Starts to fade* Be re minded. No.. One.. Can.. Stop... Me.. *Fades*

 

Luna: ... *Sits* Now you know his name..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... I heard that name b-

 

Luna: *Sits Dragonshy* .. Let me tell you his pass.. Discord is half pretty much everything. He hates ponies. He wants to take over ponyville.

Twilight, Rainbow dash, Pinkie pie, Fluttershy and Applejack Plus Rarity sealed him away in stone. But now He broked out.. But how?

The elements are not gone.. Is it because.. The other realm.. T-This can't be.. He must of been in the other realm.. Your realm.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): My realm?

 

Luna: Yes... But how.. *Thinks more* I just don't get it.. We need to go ask Twilight.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): But she doesn't believe me!

 

Luna: Trust me. She'll believe me *Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... If you say so...

 

                                                    (Place: Twilights house Time: 9am

Luna: ... *Taps on door*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .... *Knocks* Don't tap... Really?

 

Luna: She can still be-

 

Twilight sparkle: .. Whhhaaat.. *Opens door* Its 9am.... *Yawns* *Opens eyes* H-huh! *Bows* Welcome Princess Luna...

 

Luna: *Smiles* Thank you Twlight. But *Whispers*

 

Twilight sparkle: *Laughs* Discord? He turned good! He can't turn back evil.. C-can... 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... I told you she won't believe us..

 

Luna: *Sighs* No one well if she doesn't. We need all of the help we can get..

 

Twilight sparkle: ... *Puts Element crown on* ... I believe you. 

 

Luna: Y-You do?!? We need to tell the rest of your friends!

 

Twilight sparkle: They should believe me. Shouldn't we tell-

 

Luna: No. She doesn't believe me. My older sister things hes still good.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Twilight, discord showed me.. 

 

Twilight sparkle: ? Showed you what.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): He showed me in a orb, that when you used the elements you failed. 

 

Twilight sparkle: Don't believe him. Thats what he did to Applejack.. Shwoed her we broked up. But we never did.

We stood together. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .... I guess you're right.

 

Luna: Me and Dragonshy well be helping you on this quest.

 

Twilight sparkle: *Looks at* You s-sure? He doesn't have a element..-

 

Luna: Well about that.. You haven't seen him rage.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... I thought you'll keep it a secret... *Facehooves*

 

Luna: Had to, we-... Twilight. *Sits Twilight down* We need to tell you something.

 

Twilight sparkle: What is it? *Rubs head* 

 

Luna: *Tells her everything about why she sent Dragonshy here*

 

Twilight sparkle: You can't be.. You're kidding me?? He can't stop Discord! And you knew about this? 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. You didn't believe me Twilight..

 

Twilight sparkle: *Laughs* ..Heh...He.... .. 

 

Luna: The day is coming soon.. Twilight we have to hurry. Dragonshy. Go get Fluttershy and Applejack. Me and Twilight well

get the rest. *Trots off*

 

Twilight sparkle: If they don't believe you. Do it the hard way and bring them here. *Winks, trots off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... I-i can't believe i was a human... *Flies to Fluttershy's cottage* ... I was sent here to defeat

Discord.. But why? If Discord... I don't wanna t-

 

Fluttershy: *Opens door* D-Dragonshy! *Pins down* ... *Gives the stare* Where were you! We were worried sick!

 

Buttershy: *Blushes* Last time we saw you.. It was at the party.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): L-let me talk! 

 

Fluttershy: *Covers mouth*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. Twilight sparkle, wants me to bring you to her house. Its.. About something.

 

Buttershy: C-can i come?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): If you want to.. Fluttershy and Buttershy, get to her house. *Drags them out and closes door behind him*

1 down.. 1 more to go.. *Trots to Applejacks*

 

Applejack: Zz...z...z....

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Bucks tree*

 

Applejack: *Apples fall on her head* Wha no whut!... *Rubs eyes* .. Nice try Dragonshy.. Now i go to pick up all o-

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Drags to Twilights house* *Closes door* All of you stay here. The rest would be coming any minute.

 

Rainbow dash: No no! *Tries to fly back*

 

Twilight sparkle: Oh for! *Poofs her into the house* 

 

Rainbow dash: .. Grrrr!! *Bangs on door* Let me out!

 

Luna: *Drags Pinkie pie and Rarity in*

 

Rarity: Let me go! I don't want to get my necklice dirty! 

 

Pinkie pie: I don't want to again! We made him nice, can *Thinks of the clouds* Mm....

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. You told them didn't you?

 

Twilight sparkle: .. *Nods*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Laughs* I didn't tell Fluttershy or Applejack.

 

Luna: Grr i told you it well be a bad idea!

 

Twilight sparkle: ... Blame the.. Never mind.. *Sits everypony down*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Whos gonna tell them.. You or Twilight? I ain't.

 

Luna: I well. They well listen to me. *Walks infront of everpony* ... We bought you here today because... *Gulps* ...

 

Rainbow dash: .. All twilight said, that we needed to have another party for gummy..

 

Twilight sparkle: *Laughs* Heh he.. Ab-about that..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Wait what? I thought you told them about-

 

Twilight sparkle: I thought it would work.. *Covers Dragonshy's mouth* Let Luna speak.

 

Luna: Discord is going on a rampage. Again. He well take over Ponyville if we don't stop him.

 

Pinkie pie: I already knew that. I knew Twilight was lieing. *Laughs*

 

Twilight sparkle: ..... 

 

Rainbow dash: Your kidding me? Discord i-

 

Luna: ... He wants revenge. He was faking about being good. He was waiting for the right moment. 

 

Fluttershy: W-what!! *Hides behind lamp* I can't do it again!!!! *Holds onto it tight*

 

Twilight sparkle: *Gives Elements* We need to seal him away for good this time.

 

Rainbow dash: .. I- i guess i'm in.. *Puts hoof in*

 

Buttershy: ... D-Discord.. *Drags Fluttershy* .. 

 

Fluttershy: S-s..D-Discord!! 

 

Buttershy: Its fine Fluttershy, i'll be there this time. *Smiles*

 

Fluttershy: ... *Puts hand in* L-lets do this.

 

Applejack: Grr.. I knew he was never good! Hes going to get it this time.. *Puts hoof in*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I'll try my best.. I won't let him take over ponyville.. A-again.. *Hoofs in*

 

Luna: ... Dragonshy was sent here to help you defeat Discord.. *Sighs* I shall help.  I was evil once..

I regreat it.. *Puts hoof in* 

 

Rarity: I-I guess.. If i don't get my beauitful necklice dirty! *Hoofs in* Its on...

 

Applejack: *Sighs* Rarity.. Y-you can clean it.. Or maybe just put plastic over it? It won't get dirty like that..

 

Rarity: Idea!!! *Puts plastic over it* 

 

Applejack: .. Nice idea *Favehooves*

 

Pinkie pie: .. We shall do this.. Pinkie style! *Hoofs in* And i still want those clouds.. Mm.. Taste... Soo.. Good.....

 

Twilight sparkle: We won't be able to back out. Ponies move o-

 

Buttershy: C-can i join? ...

 

Twilight sparkle: Yes just stay behind something. We don't want you to get hurt.

 

Buttershy: *Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... You know its not today.. *Facehooves* We should really just rest today, and get ready. Whos hungry!

 

Everypony: I am!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. Oh.. Everyone is.. *Laughs* I'll go get some food. Luna, You stay here with the others. I don't want Discord to come over here.

 

Luna: Be careful. *Waves off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Hmm.. i'v only got 30$ ... I could buy food with this. But where? ... I should of brought Twilight... *Trots infront of a food place*

W-Weird name? B-.. Bro hooves.. Bro... Grrr too hard to say.. *Trots in and buys food* .. Hmmm This should be enough. i wasted all of my money. But that-

 

Discord: *Pops up* ... So... You got them to believe *Winces* .. This could ruin my plans..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Laughs* You should give up. You'll n-

 

Discord: ... Don't make me.. *Laughs* I'll just need to think of something else.. *Thinks* I should do the maze again.. Noonono.. Oohoho... *Poofs*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... Weird. What is he planing.. *Flies back to house* *Knocks* 

 

Spike: *Opens* Welc- *Sees dimond* I-Is that for me! *Stuffs in mouth* ... Oo..h.....

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W-Where d-... *Looks at bag* How did he know...

 

Twilight sparkle: *Whispers* I told him to, I'm a friend of the clerk there *Laughs* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Nice thinking.. *Gives everypony their food*

 

*Everypony sits at the table*

 

Fluttershy: *Puts plates down*

 

Buttershy: *Sets the cloth*

 

Luna: *Yells* Come and eat!!

 

Rainbow dash: *Rushs* Mine... *Gets out food* My fav!! *Hugs food*

 

Fluttershy: ... *Looks* Oh thank you Dragonshy *Smiles*

 

Buttershy: Yay... *Smiles*

 

Applejack: This sure does look good. *Stuffs face*

 

Rarity: Oohh! *Puts cloth on neck* Sure not to get dirty.

 

Luna: Thank you. *Eats*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Blushes* .. You s-

 

Twilight sparkle: Sh. They don't know *Gets food* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Nibbles eat food*

 

Fluttershy: *Cheeks are full* ... 

 

Rainbow dash: .. Nibbling at it really? ... *Stuffs face*

 

Twilight sparkle: Gals gals! Have manners.

 

Buttershy: *Smiles*

 

Applejack: *Gives everypony pie* Made it my self!

 

Pinkie pie: Ble.. I'll eat my food last! *Stuffs face into pie* So good.

 

Luna: .. Thank you all, 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): You girls derserve it. You welcomed me to ponyville, been nice to me. And even let me slept over night. Thank you all.

 

Mane 6: *Smiles*

 

Pinkie pie: Well you get sent back to the human realm?

 

Luna: We do not know, yet.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): They're thinking about it.. *Looks down* I hope i can.

 

Twilight sparkle: I hope you can. *Smiles* I'm heading off to bed * Makes beds for rest* Have a nice rest. *Goes up stairs*

 

Buttershy: *Hugs* Good night Dragonshy.. The day is coming soon.. *Gets in sleeping bag* Good thing mine is next to yours *Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Gets in sleeping bag* Good night gals.. I'm the only guy pony here *Sighs* Spike Now i know how you feel.

 

Spike: *walks up stairs* Welcome to my world.. * goes to sleep*

 

Applejack: Good night everypony *Hugs apple to sleep*

 

Fluttershy: W-Who ho..... *Sleeps*

 

Rarity: *Puts blankets* Hmfp much better! *Pats pillow*  Have a nice rest *Sleeps*

 

Pinkie pie: *Jumps into sleeping bag, passes out*

 

Rainbow dash: *Flies into Sleeping bag* *Yawns* .... Yeah eh... Big day... *Puts glasses on* I'm going make this look cool *Sleeps*

 

Twilight sparkle: *Poofs the lights off*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. *Sleeps*

 

 


                          (Chapter 8: The final day)

                                                         (Place: Twilight's house: Time 10am Day: 5) 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Rubs head* .. *Yawns, pops back* That felt good... *Looks around* Its the big day... Discord coming today. I hope we can fend him off.. *Yells* Wake up!

Its a big day today! Everyone get suited up and ready!

 

Applejack: *Bumps head on floor* W-wha.. 

 

Rarity: Oh goodness! *Goes to merrior* Oh my hair! Oh no! I can't get seen like this! *Brushes*

 

Fluttershy: Oh dear.. I need to go feed my animals real quick! *Rushes to cottage*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Discord is coming in about... 2-3 hours.. I hope he isn't lieing..

 

Twilight sparkle: Lalal.. *Trots downstairs* Oh hi! You gals are awake.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Glares*

 

Twilight sparkle: .. *Looks back* And boys! Yes boys... *grins*

 

Pinkie pie: *Jumps out of bed* I'm going to go get my party cannon! *Hops to house*

 

Applejack: .. *Face hooves* Ok... Twilight, do you got all of our elements?

 

Twilight sparkle: Yes. But i can't give it to you yet. I need all of the ponies here.

 

Rarity: *Looks at mane* Oh its much better now! All i just need to go get my hat... Be right back! *Trots to house*

 

Rainbow dash: *Yawns* Graah.. C-can't i just sleep for 1 more hour.. *Takes off glasses* ... I so made that look cool.

 

Buttershy: *Gets out of bed, yawns* Good morning gals.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Oh come on! 

 

Buttershy: Whoops and boys..

 

Twilight sparkle: ... Heh, *Gets a book* I'm going to read this for the meaning time. Remember meet back here in 2-3 hours.

 

Buttershy: *Yawns* I got nothing to do. I'll just stay here,  i could make some breakfest.

 

Twilight sparkle: Thats sounds great.

 

Buttershy: *Trots to kitchin*

 

Luna: *Yawns* Discord is coming today.. I just hope we're all ready.. 

 

Twilight sparkle: I won't worry. If he just doesn't turn everyone evil again!

 

Buttershy: *Shivers* *Cooks eggs* I don't even want to think about it..

 

Luna: *Laughs* Buttershy, you're not really that shy anymore aren't you?

 

Buttershy: *Blushes* No. Dragonshy, brought me out of my shell..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Heh. I did?

 

Buttershy: *Smiles* Mhm. *Cooks bacon* If i never met you, i would of still be at home. Hiding under my bed. *Laughs*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. That won't be bad for whats going to happen today.

 

Rainbow dash: W-*Yawns* Wake me up in about.. 1 hour.. *Puts glasses back on* 

 

Rarity: *Knocks on door*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I'll get it.. *Opens*

 

Rarity: Don't i look.. Beautiful! Now i can defeat Discord in style.. 

 

Twilight sparkle: .. Okay.... *Reads more* 

 

Fluttershy: *Flies in* S-sorry i took so long. I had to make angel a salad.. Hes picky about food.. *Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Right.. All we need is Pinkie pie... *Sighs*

 

Pinke pie: *Hops in with party cannon* Likey? Heheh *Fires it* Sparkles!

 

Appljack: .. *Face hooves*

 

Buttershy: Breakfest is ready! *Serves* Now b-

 

Pinkie pie: *Stuffs face* W-hut?

 

Buttershy: N-Never mind.,.. *Trots off*

 

Twilight sparkle: ... *Eats* Well Dragonshy... Luna... How was the rest?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Oh you know. Good, dreamt of Discord *Sighs* I can't wait to get this over with..

 

Luna: Dragonshy, it won't be that easy. *Cleans own plate* 

 

Pinkie pie: You eat too fast Luna! *Stuffs face*

 

Appljack: ... Pinkie pie, i think she got it from you *Laughs*

 

Pinkie pie: Huh? *Hops and cleans plate* I don't eat f-

 

Rainbow dash: *Wakes up* *yawns* ... You didn't wake me up for breakfest?!?

 

Twilight sparkle: You did say wake you up in about 1-2 hours.

 

Rainbow dash: *Flies to table* Yes but! I'm still hungry. *Eats*

 

Rarity: *Cleans plate make it sparkle* Now that is clean! Learn from the pro. *Smiles*

 

Dragonshy (Fred):  *Finishes* That was good, Buttershy you're good at cooking. Better than me *Laughs*

 

Buttershy: Thank you.

 

Twilight sparkle: So agree, come on gals say thank you!

 

Everypony: Thank you Buttershy.

 

Buttershy: *Smiles* 

 

Twilight sparkle: *Puts element on* Here you go gals.

 

Fluttershy: *Puts on necklice* *As the rest does*

 

Luna: *Puts armor on, looks at time* 10 more minutes..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): So whats the plan?

 

Rainbow dash: We can't let him take over ponyville again, plus if one of us loses our elements. We're pretty much dead.

 

Twilight sparkle: Fluttershy, don't fall for his tricks.

 

Fluttershy: I'll try my best.

 

Twilight sparkle: Everypony. Do not lose your elements. We can't risk it!

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I'm going to warn everypony. *Rushes*

 

Luna: I'll go with Dragonshy. The rest of you 6 get ready.

 

Rarity: *Puts hat on* Lets do this.

 

Applejack: Good old times. 

 

Buttershy: If anypony gets hurt tell me. *Gets medkit* 

 

Twilight sparkle: I doubt we would *Smiles* Okay, mane 6 move out!

 

Spike: *Waves off* Good luck twilight... *Walks back inside*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Warns everypony* They're not listening to us!

 

Luna: Grr. I knew this would of happened, i can't just scare them away... Wait.... *Laughs* *Makes the sky turn black* *Eyes glow* I said get out of here! *Makes ground shake*

 

Ponies: *Trots off into forest* 

 

Luna: All good *Turns back normal*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Where are they? 

 

Mane 6: We're here! *Huffs*

 

Buttershy: *Hides behind house* Yay.. Get him... *Covers face*

 

                           *The clouds turn pink, the sky starts to turn day and night every minute. The mane 6 prepeared them selfs with Luna And Dragonshy. 

                            Discord has some tricks up his sleves*

Discord: *Pops up infront* Oh Hi there... *Laughs* Look at this! A Welcome party. How kind of you. *Stares* Nah just joking *Makes a huge whole in ponyville* Do you really

think its that easy! *Laughs* Come on.. I don't want this to end that fast! *Poofs infront of rainbow dash* 

 

Rainbow dash: *Flies up* Get ready to owned Discord! This time we're going to seal you away foreve- 

 

Discord: Let me talk, how rude! *Makes Rainbow dash mouth dispear* Now i was saying.. Wait i had nothing to say! *Laughs* Now.. Give me your best shot. *Sits down*

 

Twilight sparkle: *Gets in postion* Come on gals!

 

Rest: *Gets in postion*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... If that orb was true, this won't work.. *Winces*

 

Luna: If it doesn't they still got us.

 

Twilight sparkle:  *Floats, as a beam appears infront of the mane 6*

 

Discord: Oh no! *Starts to turn stone*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... 

 

Discord: *Laughs, as he breaks the stone* I can't believe you fell for that! *Turns Twilight sparkle into stone* Whoops!

 

Pinkie pie: *Glares* H-how. *Brings out Party cannon* Suck it! *Fires*

 

Discord: *Laughs* Do you think that can defeat me! Come on..  *Flings pinkie pie into river*

 

Luna: The orb was right. *Eyes glow* Dragonshy, let out your rage. 

 

Discord: *Poofs up infront of Fluttershy* Heheh I remember when you tried to make me nice! *Laughs* Not going to work. You're so usless. No one can hear you. Heh said it with

your own words. 

 

Fluttershy: *Gives the stare* Don't hurt my friends! Mister y-

 

Discord: Don't talk back to me. *Evily laughs* Now please just move to the side. *FLings Fluttershy, as she hits the wall*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): W-What is this. Discord Please don't hurt them! *Tear falls* 

 

Discord: Awh.. You're crying! You should see the look on your face. Don't worry the wall was just plastic!

 

Fluttershy: *Falls face first* D-... *Blackouts*

 

Luna: *Makes clouds turn pure black* We're giving you a warning Di-Discord: 

 

Discord: Whatcha gonna do about i- *Sees sky, eyes widen* It can't be. Y-you

 

Luna: ... I was just evil just like you. Don't think i can stand up to you Discord. 

 

Discord: Grr... This might ruin my plan.. Psh. Dragonshy seems weak.. *Poofs infront of buttershy*

 

Applejack: Leave her alone! *Grabs rope, swings it around Discords head* 

 

Discord: .. Really? *Pulls rope, makes Applejack Face first a tree* Who else wants to fight me?

 

Rainbow dash: *Glares* ... *Goes up into the sky* *Unzips mouth* Time to make a rainboom.. *Flies to discord*

 

Discord: Huh?

 

Rainbow dash: *Eyes water* D-Discord! *Makes a rainboom*

 

Discord: *Gets flung back into wall* Ow! That hurted.. I thought we were having fun.. *Rubs back* You're going to get it.. *Eyes glow*

 

Rainbow dash: W-What? 

 

Discord: *Makes rainbow dash fly into stuff* 

 

Rainbow dash: *Flies into building* You're! *Flies face first* Going to get it! 

 

Discord: Non of you can stop me.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Teat starts falling* Please stop hurting t- *Eyes flicker orange* 

 

Discord: Oh Dragonshy, getting ragey i see? *Poofs infront of Buttershy* Now.. Would you like me to hurt you, i don't know. Best friend? 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): I'll en-

 

Discord: Too late! *Rams Buttershy into ground* Whoops! *Steps on her* 

 

Luna: That is it. *Floats* 

 

Rarity: *Hides* Y-you know! I'll just hide here.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Eyes flicker red* Pl-Please don't make me rage anymore.. I won't be able *Winces* 

 

Discord: *Laughs* Please rage more! 

 

Luna: *Tackles Discord* Stop this *Ground shakes* Don't make me. I don't want to let out my rage. 

 

Discord: *Hits luna into ground* Heheh.. *Turns Luna into stone*

 

Luna: N-Dragonshy Yo *Turns into stone*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Y-You monster how can you do this! 

 

Discord: I told you, i well take over Ponyville! *Laughs* Now its only you and me.. Weakling.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): Y-You hurted all of my f-friends.. *Holds rage in*

 

Discord: *Poofs infront* Now i can fight manly.. *Summons a boulder* Think fast. *Smacks Dragonshy into a boulder*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Busts boulder* *Summons Fire* Bring it.

 

Discord: Darn.. You still haven't let out your demon.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Fires, as hitting Discord into the ground*

 

Discord: *Rubs arm* You..Burnt me.. *Fades, refades behind Dragonshy* I'm here. *Throws into rock* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Starts to bleed alittle* G-*Shakes head* 

 

Discord: Watch out! *Summons a paino, smaashing the paino over Dragonshy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Starts to get bruced* *Tries to stand up*

 

Discord: You're so weak! But, you're the first to not die from my fighting. *Laughs* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Eyes flicker back to brown* I-... Can't..

 

Discord: I win. Check mate. *Turns ponyville upside down* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): T-this can't be happing.. W-Why*Looks at other ponies in fear* I'm so.. So-

 

Discord: *Steps on head* Be quiet for once. *Rubs head into dirt* Now i'm going to need some-

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Grabs leg* Gotcha *Drop kicks Discord*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): You're going to pay! *Yells* *Eyes flicker bloody red* 

 

Discord: Well well well.. Your inner demon! *Laughs* Now this well be a chalange.. *Laughs* 

 

                                        *Dragonshy makes the Sky turn red, as making the ground getting hotter*

Dragonshy (Fred): *Eyes glow* I said you shouldn't had came here.. *Poofs infront of Discord*

 

Discord: *Winces* Y-You can teleport? 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): ... *Summons Fireballs* 

 

Discord: Grrr *Tries to smack Dragonshy*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Fades into fire* Can't touch me..*Laughs*

 

Discord: W-Wait is he the child of.. The fire kingdom?!  Noono.. *Yells* This can't be! Hes been dead f-

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Armor apears on Dragonshy*

 

Discord: Oh what have i done..

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Armor sets on fire* *Laughs* *Fireballs starts to fall from the sky*

 

Discord: *Summons water* Lets do this *Eyes glow*  *Summons barriers*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Summons meteors* Heh. *Makes them fall from the sky to hit Discord*

 

Discord: *Barriers break* Grrrr *Summons a water barrier*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Summons more* *Makes the ground get more hot*

 

Discord: *Starts to sweat* *Fires water*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Blocks with rocks* *Fires and hits Discord, smashing him into trees*

 

Discord: I can't get defeated like this! I am the most powerful-

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Hooves lights on fire* *Punshes ground next to Discord, makeing a burnt mark* T-this is what you get.. *Mane Lights on fire*

 

Discord: *Yells* *Eyes glow more, claws grow out* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Tail lights to fire* I am the fire prince. I well not let you ruin Ponyville. 

 

Discord: Is that even you anymore Dragonshy!?!?

 

Dragonshy (Fred): .. This is his inner self.. *Laughs* Now never come back here again... *Summons sword, The sword lights on fire*

 

Disocrd: Now how can you hold-

 

Draonghshy (Fred): *Shoots the sword to Discord, hitting him in the chest*

 

Discord: Y-... You.. *Turns to stone*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): That must of hurt.. *Sword fades* Now Never come back here.. *Seals Discord*

 

Discord: *Tries to stop it* No.. No!! *Turns into stone*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Puts a spell, whoever touches his stone well get burnt* 

 

Rarity: *Closes mouth* 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Eyes flicker back to brown, as the sky turns back to normal, Ponyville turns back to normal. Everything turns back to normal*

 

Spike: *Rubs eyes* W-what did i just see.

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Rubs head* ... *Coughs* W-what happened? *Looks around* *Sees fire marks on ground* Huh?

 

Rarity: Spike would you tell him for me? Pwease?

 

Spike: Y-yes for you.. *Sighs* D-Dragonshy You turned into a fire prince.. Your mane was on fire and your tail.. *Rubs head*

 

Luna: *Gets up* W-What happened? I turned into stone.. Did you? *Sees fire marks on ground* Your inner demon came out... 

 

Rainbow dash: *Flies back into ground* Oh thank ponies.. I'm not flying into stuff anymo- *Sees ground* What happened here?

 

Rarity: The sky turned red.. The ground was hot, Dragonshy tail and mane was on fire.

 

Twilight sparkle: Wait.. You're from the fire kingdom *Winces* 

 

Rainbow dash: W-What? The fire kingdom? *Tries to buck Dragonshy*

 

Twilight sparkle: Calm it.. He saved us.

 

Fluttershy: *Gets up from face plant* G-... What happened.. 

 

Buttershy: *Rubs face off* Dragonshy saved us.. But he *Hides behind building*

 

Dragonshy (Fred): What? Don't be scared of me please. 

 

Luna: I feel the pain Dragonshy, thats how everypony acted when i showed up in ponville for the first time.. *Sighs*

 

Pinkie pie: *Gets out of river* *Shakes off* Group hug..? *Gets party cannon*

 

Luna: Dragonshy, ponyville would have been ruined without you. Lets just keep this a secret that you can turn into a fire element.. 

 

Dragonshy (Fred): *Smiles* I raged when i saw you guys get hurt. I couldn't stand it. When my eyes flickered it seemed like i just blacked out. Something took over me *Rubs eyes*

 

Buttershy: *Hugs Dragonshy* ... Group hug?? *Blushes*

 

Rainbow dash: Grr fine.. *Tries to hug* 

 

Applejack: *Rubs head* .. I had to get.. Never mind.. Group hug *Rams*

 

Pinkie pie: *Brings party cannon* *Hugs* I'm hungry..

 

Fluttershy: Thanks for saving Ponyville. *Group hugs*

 

Twilight sparkle: We need to tell h-

 

Luna: Yes i know. We need to tell My older sister. *Smiles and group hugs*

 

Rarity: *Takes off hat* *Group hugs* 

 

Spike: *Group hugs* Don't forget the dragon *Laughs*

 

                                                   

That is how i become a pony, Luna and the rest agreed that i could live in ponyville with the rest. I'v been making new friends everyday. Been training to control my rage,

still WIP *Sighs* The rest, heh. They been cleaning up Ponyville helping around. I'v been hanging out with Buttershy the most. I Still keep looking up in the sky. You never 

know what would happen. *Laughs* 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I hoped you liked it, i loved making it. I'll be fixing it now. Theres tons of spelling Errors in there ETC. Please Leave a comment

and tell me what you think. I hope you all have a great night/day.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

                                                                  `````THE END````

 

 


 

 

 

 

 


 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Edited by Fredbermudez
  • Brohoof 3
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NavelColt

NavelColt

(Still making chapter 3 i didn't know where to post this so... Merp.)

 

Pony Art > Fan Fiction :3 I moved it for you. You can add a prefix tag to your topic too, if your story has a specific genre. Edit your post using the full editor, and you can change the title and add an appropriate prefix.

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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

  • Author

Pony Art > Fan Fiction :3 I moved it for you. You can add a prefix tag to your topic too, if your story has a specific genre. Edit your post using the full editor, and you can change the title and add an appropriate prefix.

Thankz ^^ I hope people likez it O_e. I wish there were Mmorpg's MLP out there but rarely any.  *Gives this forum the stare* You better be good..

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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

  • Author

Be sure to comment what you think! Yes ik there's some errors in the story. I'll be fixing it soon. Btw! After i'm done with this, probably be making another one. Meaning of it'll keep going after this.

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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

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(edited)

If you were wondering what Buttershy looked like Well here she! Took me 1 day to draw her Well this is the upgraded on meaning Gen-2 Gen-1 Shall be missed.

 

k7DWn9r.png

Edited by Fredbermudez
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)O( Scarlet )O(

)O( Scarlet )O(

Aw shucks, thanks mate, If I have the time to I will read your stories, and if I find any errors, I will let you know (sorry, growing up with a ex-primary school teacher for a mum has made me in to a grammar-Nazi) 

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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

  • Author

*Sighs* Please bare with me here. Sorry i haven't been updating on the Chapters for book 2 ETC. My dad died yesterday at 5am in the hospital. I'm still trying to get my head out of the gutter. 


Finally finished Chapter 4 on Book 2. Must add more Action a little more.. Ish. Be adding more now and than. Have a nice day, don't forget to smile.

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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

  • Author

Yes it says RE-Fixing, i'll be re-reading the whole thing. And fixing the spelling errors, and might fix the sentences. Said this before, This was my *FIRST* Fanfiction that i ever posted on the INT! Thank you all for reading some (Or all) Of my Fanfiction! 

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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

  • Author

*Sigh* I can't even fix this, the editing is messed up for me. I'll keep on trying, until they reply to my ticket. Anywho, i'll be starting a mini fiction until this whole thing blows over. Its based off of My little Emneisa. Its gonna have the same (DRAGONSHY) In it, this is pretty much telling how he died (Spoliers for book 2:) And how he got back. 

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Hazardus-Havard V.2

Hazardus-Havard V.2

 

 

It has been a long time since I've seen someone write like you do.  It's a combination of script and RP'ing style type of writing, which I personally don't care much for at all.  That type of writing makes it really hard to get immersed into and continue reading.  I'm not here to bag on you or anything, just to provide feedback and ask just why you decided to write like this.

 

I suppose I can also point out some things that made this hard for me to read, starting right at the beginning.

 

 

 (Chaptor one a new begging)

 

Do you really mean "a new begging"?  For some reason, I keep thinking that's a typo and you meant to write "a new beginning".  Unless this is some sort of pun on what's to come?  Is there a reason for typing it like this?  Also, you wrote "chaptor" incorrectly.

 

Chapter One: A New Beginning

 

I bet you think i'm you know a kid, that plays, has friends like other people right?
 
First off, you never gave us any clue that you were a kid, though I'm guessing this is now going to be self insert due to this.  Most people don't tend to assume things, such as the narrator being a kid, unless they're clued in they're a kid.  I would personally change it to person myself and rewrite it around that, but I'm going to assume that for some reason, this is going to be important later on in your story.
 
I bet you think I'm just another kid that plays and has friends like other people... right?
 
Having those commas in the beginning don't help one bit and only jerk the reader around.  The ellipses in the end help add some suspension to the sentence.  The way this was retyped helps the flow of the story instead of, from how it read before, read off like how you spoke.  I would strongly recommend not writing like that, it breaks immersion.
 
Back to the kid part, why bring that up at all?  Unless this is going to be brought up in the future, where people think the main protagonist who also happens to be the narrator of the story is a kid when in fact they are wrong, why is this being brought up?
 
*Laughs*
 
A great way to kill something even more is to write out an action like this: laughs, roars, whinnies, squeals, giggles, and plenty more.  Don't do this.  Instead, write it out so it's more entertaining and goes along with your story, not slamming the breaks with something so jerking like this.
 
I laugh at the very thought!
 
Like if it was even close. You see i'v been to other worlds,
 
This needs a complete rewrite.  Actually read this stuff out loud.  Would this really be how you speak to other people?  Does it come out clearly?  Does it make sense?  Would people clearly know what you are talking about?  You also have to remember to make this entertaining to read, otherwise, you'll lose the reader.
 
No matter what you think, you're not likely to come close to the truth.  You see... I've been to other worlds.
 
Example:
 
Never, ever, ever, ever do this.  This entire thing now feels like a school paper.  If you're going to give examples, then just start giving them, don't put up "Example:" as a way to start that.  And with that...
 
Foissel fighters. ETC.

I've been to 10 worlds already, lets make this 11th? And yes i've made stories to the other ones to. One has got sold on into a news paper,
Others well, Gone.
 
That is not a proper example to what was just said.  Readers would expect you to point out multiple worlds, maybe with something about them.  All you did was give a single example, stated one was... sold into a newspaper, and then moved on.  I'm now more confused than anything.  Saying something about them tells the readers about  who the protagonist is early on and what to possibly expect.
 
From the desert planet Rhyalga, where I toppled an entire empire just to retrieve my stolen gear, to the pirate territory that lay in the Grenalda asteroid fields, all the way to the planet of the Foissel Fighters where I dominated their very best in combat. 
 

 Should we get we started? Hmm Maybe you're not ready for this advendure... Well let me get you filled in,in some of the back story first shall i?

 

This feels really off, like you were trying to find a way to continue your story but wasn't sure how to do it.  Try to continue along with what was just previously written.

 

Many worlds with many adventures... and this tale is about one of those worlds I've just recently visited.
                                                         
                                                         (Time: 10am Place: Somewhere in japan)
 
Places like "japan" should be capitalized.  Also, try and make this look like an actual time stamp, to better immerse people.
 
Location: Earth, Japan, Osaka Suburbs
Time: 1000 Hours
 
Note that this is just one example of how I'd do a time stamp.
 
Fred: *Yawns* Oh... My back, *Wakes up on couch cracks back* Ow... Gam dangit.. I really need to stop sleeping on the couch.. *Sighs* 
I wonder what new games they brought to the manga store.. I hope they brought some good ones, all i see now these days are *Coughs* Not even gonna say it.
*Hears people yelling and screaming outside* What the hay? * Runs to the door and swings it open* * Glares at groups of people* ... * A kid comes running pass me
But he stops and trips as i pick him up*
 
And here's that script/rp'ing type of writing I was talking about up above.  It's been a very long time since I've seen someone type like this.  I'm not sure why people actually write like this.  You'll get more readers if you can write it out as a story instead of like a list of things someone did.  I'll rewrite this in a way so you can see what I mean.
 
"Oh... my back," Fred groans out, just now waking up for the day.  Letting out a yawn, the tired man slowly gets up from his couch, cracking his back in the process.  "Dang it... I really need to stop sleeping on the couch." 
 
Scratching his head, he lets out a yawn before walking towards the kitchen to get some coffee.  "I wonder if they have any new games at that manga store finally.  I'm hoping they finally got some better ones than those..."  He lets out a cough, feeling a blush creep on his face.  "Yeah, would rather not remember those games."
 
Fred immediately jumps, hearing the yelling and screaming coming from outside. 
 
"What the heck?" he mumbles out, running to the door.  There's not a lot of reasons to be screaming outside at this time, Fred thinks, so something interesting must've happened.
 
This is usually how I would've written the story.  It allows the reader more information while also giving them a wider range to imagine how things appear.  It also helps immerse them into wanting to know more without giving them the absolute barest amount of information you can, like you are doing now.  It's up to you ultimately how you write, but I would recommend you to write in prose format over what you're doing now. 
 
And please don't take this as me to tell you to stop writing.  Improve and write more.  Don't just leave your ideas in your head, write them out!
 
Finally, I'll present your stuff over mine.  First, yours:
 
 
 
 
                                                         (Chaptor one a new begging)
I bet you think i'm you know a kid, that plays, has friends like other people right? *Laughs* Like if it was even close. You see i'v been to other worlds, Example:
 
Foissel fighters. ETC. I've been to 10 worlds already, lets make this 11th? And yes i've made stories to the other ones to. One has got sold on into a news paper,
Others well, Gone. Should we get we started? Hmm Maybe you're not ready for this advendure... Well let me get you filled in,in some of the back story first shall i?
                                                         
 
                                                         (Time: 10am Place: Somewhere in japan)
Fred: *Yawns* Oh... My back, *Wakes up on couch cracks back* Ow... Gam dangit.. I really need to stop sleeping on the couch.. *Sighs* 
I wonder what new games they brought to the manga store.. I hope they brought some good ones, all i see now these days are *Coughs* Not even gonna say it.
*Hears people yelling and screaming outside* What the hay? * Runs to the door and swings it open* *
 
 
 
And now mine:
 
 

Chapter One: A New Beginning

 

 
I bet you think I'm just another kid that plays and has friends like other people... right?  I laugh at the very thought!  No matter what you think, you're not likely to come close to the truth.  You see... I've been to other worlds.
 
From the desert planet Rhyalga, where I toppled an entire empire just to retrieve my stolen gear, to the pirate territory that lay in the Grenalda asteroid fields, all the way to the planet of the Foissel Fighters where I dominated their very best in combat. 
 
Many worlds with many adventures... and this tale is about one of those worlds I've just recently visited.

 

 

Location: Earth, Japan, Osaka Suburbs
Time: 1000 Hours
 

"Oh... my back," Fred groans out, just now waking up for the day.  Letting out a yawn, the tired man slowly gets up from his couch, cracking his back in the process.  "Dang it... I really need to stop sleeping on the couch." 
 
Scratching his head, he lets out a yawn before walking towards the kitchen to get some coffee.  "I wonder if they have any new games at that manga store finally.  I'm hoping they finally got some better ones than those..."  He lets out a cough, feeling a blush creep on his face.  "Yeah, would rather not remember those games."
 
Fred immediately jumps, hearing the yelling and screaming coming from outside. 
 
"What the heck?" he mumbles out, running to the door.  There's not a lot of reasons to be screaming outside at this time, Fred thinks, so something interesting must've happened.
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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

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It has been a long time since I've seen someone write like you do.  It's a combination of script and RP'ing style type of writing, which I personally don't care much for at all.  That type of writing makes it really hard to get immersed into and continue reading.  I'm not here to bag on you or anything, just to provide feedback and ask just why you decided to write like this.

 

I suppose I can also point out some things that made this hard for me to read, starting right at the beginning.

 

 

 (Chaptor one a new begging)

 

Do you really mean "a new begging"?  For some reason, I keep thinking that's a typo and you meant to write "a new beginning".  Unless this is some sort of pun on what's to come?  Is there a reason for typing it like this?  Also, you wrote "chaptor" incorrectly.

 

Chapter One: A New Beginning

 

I bet you think i'm you know a kid, that plays, has friends like other people right?
 
First off, you never gave us any clue that you were a kid, though I'm guessing this is now going to be self insert due to this.  Most people don't tend to assume things, such as the narrator being a kid, unless they're clued in they're a kid.  I would personally change it to person myself and rewrite it around that, but I'm going to assume that for some reason, this is going to be important later on in your story.
 
I bet you think I'm just another kid that plays and has friends like other people... right?
 
Having those commas in the beginning don't help one bit and only jerk the reader around.  The ellipses in the end help add some suspension to the sentence.  The way this was retyped helps the flow of the story instead of, from how it read before, read off like how you spoke.  I would strongly recommend not writing like that, it breaks immersion.
 
Back to the kid part, why bring that up at all?  Unless this is going to be brought up in the future, where people think the main protagonist who also happens to be the narrator of the story is a kid when in fact they are wrong, why is this being brought up?
 
*Laughs*
 
A great way to kill something even more is to write out an action like this: laughs, roars, whinnies, squeals, giggles, and plenty more.  Don't do this.  Instead, write it out so it's more entertaining and goes along with your story, not slamming the breaks with something so jerking like this.
 
I laugh at the very thought!
 
Like if it was even close. You see i'v been to other worlds,
 
This needs a complete rewrite.  Actually read this stuff out loud.  Would this really be how you speak to other people?  Does it come out clearly?  Does it make sense?  Would people clearly know what you are talking about?  You also have to remember to make this entertaining to read, otherwise, you'll lose the reader.
 
No matter what you think, you're not likely to come close to the truth.  You see... I've been to other worlds.
 
Example:
 
Never, ever, ever, ever do this.  This entire thing now feels like a school paper.  If you're going to give examples, then just start giving them, don't put up "Example:" as a way to start that.  And with that...
 
Foissel fighters. ETC.

I've been to 10 worlds already, lets make this 11th? And yes i've made stories to the other ones to. One has got sold on into a news paper,
Others well, Gone.
 
That is not a proper example to what was just said.  Readers would expect you to point out multiple worlds, maybe with something about them.  All you did was give a single example, stated one was... sold into a newspaper, and then moved on.  I'm now more confused than anything.  Saying something about them tells the readers about  who the protagonist is early on and what to possibly expect.
 
From the desert planet Rhyalga, where I toppled an entire empire just to retrieve my stolen gear, to the pirate territory that lay in the Grenalda asteroid fields, all the way to the planet of the Foissel Fighters where I dominated their very best in combat. 
 

 Should we get we started? Hmm Maybe you're not ready for this advendure... Well let me get you filled in,in some of the back story first shall i?

 

This feels really off, like you were trying to find a way to continue your story but wasn't sure how to do it.  Try to continue along with what was just previously written.

 

Many worlds with many adventures... and this tale is about one of those worlds I've just recently visited.
                                                         
                                                         (Time: 10am Place: Somewhere in japan)
 
Places like "japan" should be capitalized.  Also, try and make this look like an actual time stamp, to better immerse people.
 
Location: Earth, Japan, Osaka Suburbs
Time: 1000 Hours
 
Note that this is just one example of how I'd do a time stamp.
 
Fred: *Yawns* Oh... My back, *Wakes up on couch cracks back* Ow... Gam dangit.. I really need to stop sleeping on the couch.. *Sighs* 
I wonder what new games they brought to the manga store.. I hope they brought some good ones, all i see now these days are *Coughs* Not even gonna say it.
*Hears people yelling and screaming outside* What the hay? * Runs to the door and swings it open* * Glares at groups of people* ... * A kid comes running pass me
But he stops and trips as i pick him up*
 
And here's that script/rp'ing type of writing I was talking about up above.  It's been a very long time since I've seen someone type like this.  I'm not sure why people actually write like this.  You'll get more readers if you can write it out as a story instead of like a list of things someone did.  I'll rewrite this in a way so you can see what I mean.
 
"Oh... my back," Fred groans out, just now waking up for the day.  Letting out a yawn, the tired man slowly gets up from his couch, cracking his back in the process.  "Dang it... I really need to stop sleeping on the couch." 
 
Scratching his head, he lets out a yawn before walking towards the kitchen to get some coffee.  "I wonder if they have any new games at that manga store finally.  I'm hoping they finally got some better ones than those..."  He lets out a cough, feeling a blush creep on his face.  "Yeah, would rather not remember those games."
 
Fred immediately jumps, hearing the yelling and screaming coming from outside. 
 
"What the heck?" he mumbles out, running to the door.  There's not a lot of reasons to be screaming outside at this time, Fred thinks, so something interesting must've happened.
 
This is usually how I would've written the story.  It allows the reader more information while also giving them a wider range to imagine how things appear.  It also helps immerse them into wanting to know more without giving them the absolute barest amount of information you can, like you are doing now.  It's up to you ultimately how you write, but I would recommend you to write in prose format over what you're doing now. 
 
And please don't take this as me to tell you to stop writing.  Improve and write more.  Don't just leave your ideas in your head, write them out!
 
Finally, I'll present your stuff over mine.  First, yours:
 
 
 
 
                                                         (Chaptor one a new begging)
I bet you think i'm you know a kid, that plays, has friends like other people right? *Laughs* Like if it was even close. You see i'v been to other worlds, Example:
 
Foissel fighters. ETC. I've been to 10 worlds already, lets make this 11th? And yes i've made stories to the other ones to. One has got sold on into a news paper,
Others well, Gone. Should we get we started? Hmm Maybe you're not ready for this advendure... Well let me get you filled in,in some of the back story first shall i?
                                                         
 
                                                         (Time: 10am Place: Somewhere in japan)
Fred: *Yawns* Oh... My back, *Wakes up on couch cracks back* Ow... Gam dangit.. I really need to stop sleeping on the couch.. *Sighs* 
I wonder what new games they brought to the manga store.. I hope they brought some good ones, all i see now these days are *Coughs* Not even gonna say it.
*Hears people yelling and screaming outside* What the hay? * Runs to the door and swings it open* *
 
 
 
And now mine:
 
 

Chapter One: A New Beginning

 

 
I bet you think I'm just another kid that plays and has friends like other people... right?  I laugh at the very thought!  No matter what you think, you're not likely to come close to the truth.  You see... I've been to other worlds.
 
From the desert planet Rhyalga, where I toppled an entire empire just to retrieve my stolen gear, to the pirate territory that lay in the Grenalda asteroid fields, all the way to the planet of the Foissel Fighters where I dominated their very best in combat. 
 
Many worlds with many adventures... and this tale is about one of those worlds I've just recently visited.

 

 

Location: Earth, Japan, Osaka Suburbs
Time: 1000 Hours
 

"Oh... my back," Fred groans out, just now waking up for the day.  Letting out a yawn, the tired man slowly gets up from his couch, cracking his back in the process.  "Dang it... I really need to stop sleeping on the couch." 
 
Scratching his head, he lets out a yawn before walking towards the kitchen to get some coffee.  "I wonder if they have any new games at that manga store finally.  I'm hoping they finally got some better ones than those..."  He lets out a cough, feeling a blush creep on his face.  "Yeah, would rather not remember those games."
 
Fred immediately jumps, hearing the yelling and screaming coming from outside. 
 
"What the heck?" he mumbles out, running to the door.  There's not a lot of reasons to be screaming outside at this time, Fred thinks, so something interesting must've happened.

 

This are some of the reasons why i'm re-fixing it, But thank you, this helped. This was my first fanfic ETC. So i didn't know much, i was a rookie. And i don't know that much fancy words. Still in 8th grade mate e-e.   

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Hazardus-Havard V.2

Hazardus-Havard V.2

This are some of the reasons why i'm re-fixing it, But thank you, this helped. This was my first fanfic ETC. So i didn't know much, i was a rookie. And i don't know that much fancy words. Still in 8th grade mate e-e.   

 

You really don't need to know fancy words.  You usually just need to make sure that you don't overuse words.  Synonyms are words that generally have the same meaning as another word.  For example, synonyms to the word "grunt" is grumble, mumble, murmur, mumble, groan, and snort.

 

Here's a website that will get you all that without too much trouble.  It helps give you synonyms, defining words, translating words into different languages, find opposite meaning to words, and can even help with rhyming (if you ever plan on writing Zecora, for example).

 

http://www.wordhippo.com/

 

In time, you'll learn more words to use and widen your vocabulary.  And don't put yourself down; just because you're in the 8th grade doesn't mean you can't churn out some great work.

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Fredbermudez

Fredbermudez

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(edited)

You really don't need to know fancy words.  You usually just need to make sure that you don't overuse words.  Synonyms are words that generally have the same meaning as another word.  For example, synonyms to the word "grunt" is grumble, mumble, murmur, mumble, groan, and snort.

 

Here's a website that will get you all that without too much trouble.  It helps give you synonyms, defining words, translating words into different languages, find opposite meaning to words, and can even help with rhyming (if you ever plan on writing Zecora, for example).

 

http://www.wordhippo.com/

 

In time, you'll learn more words to use and widen your vocabulary.  And don't put yourself down; just because you're in the 8th grade doesn't mean you can't churn out some great work.

Jesus, teaching me q-q. I never heard the word Murmur.  But yeah thanks for the link. time to look into it x3. ( >_> Passing limit .-....) agxcvxdsf 

Mumur means a soft something voice e-e. TEACHERS WHA.. WHY YOU NO TEACH ME DIS!

Edited by Fredbermudez
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