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I spend my time opening the oreos packaging, being careful and precise. I grab an oreo gently in my grasp, then I put them in my mouth, then use my teeth to crush them into tiny parts while using my saliva to break down my foods.

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I bite a half off of the oreo, eat that, then eat the other half.

 

There is no twisting off one side of it and eating the cream filling or dunking or any of that mumbo jumbo. The former takes too long, and the latter takes an extra material that I would rather not deprive the rest of my family of. The reagent known as milk is used in too many other things to be consumed in such a paltry process as oreo dunking. It's the same reason I don't make myself glasses of chocolate milk.

 

Also, I don't like it if crumbs get in the milk - that's gross. It would also involve me getting up, going to the kitchen, pouring myself a glass of milk, coming back to my room where the oreos are, and then eating them.

 

So yeah, I just eat the damn things, just like any other cookie.

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As Applejack would say: "Ya' just eat em'."

 

 

nah

I eat them in almost every way listed. I randomly vary while I do it. I don't know why though.... With milk I tend to dunk the whole thing or (most likely) just drop it in and let it dissolve and sink to the bottom of the glass then after doing so many times, I drink the chocolaty milk and get a spoon and enjoy the soggy cookie deliciousness.


 

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With the snapping jaws of a dragon. Whenever Oreos enter my household, I must eat as many as I can before the rest of my family discovers that they exist. I swear that my little brother can hear pudding.

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(edited)

I remove one from the packet and place it gently on a counter before caressing it with my index finger and kissing it gently. I THEN TAKE THE HAMMER OF THOR AND SMASH IT INTO A MILLION PIECES SO THAT ITS CRUMBS SPILL OVER THE FLOOR. THIS ALLOWS ME TO ROLL MY NAKED BODY AROUND IN ITS SPLENDOR. HAVING ITS SHELL TOUCH ME MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL. SO VERY POWERFUL. 9QvF1.png

Edited by Hansel
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(edited)

I eat them like most things. Too fast, not very much chewing and very... voracious.

 

Actually like he does.

 

 

img-1682083-1-tumblr_mk0wv4uqdp1r8penvo1

 

 

They're cookies after all...

 

Okay, perhaps I'm not making as much crumbs as he does...

Edited by StatesTheOblivious
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Crush them up, add some some vanilla ice cream and some Baileys, pretty much how they make the Barnamint Baileys at TGI Fridays :). Otherwise I just eat them like other biscuits/cookies, normally.

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I just eat them the way you would with any other cookie. It's actually a pet peeve of mine when people go and lick all the icing off and dunk it into milk afterwards. Just eat the thing already. :P

 

If there's any chocolate pudding and gummy worms lying around, I'll crush them up and make yummy dirt. :D

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(edited)

Depending on my mood, the way my oreos are eaten differentiate between these three people.

 

One's a simple approach, one costs my entire bank, and the other costs me and entire container of oreos.

 

Edited by ~Lugia~
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I never eat any cookies with milk (same goes with cereal, I'm just weird that way).  I'll eat an oreo one of two ways:

 

(1) I'll split it in half, eat one of the chocolate halves, then gnaw around the edge of the other chocolate half and finish by eating the frosting and whatever remains of the other chocolate half, or

 

(2) I'll just eat it whole.

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I think I need to show you this step-by-step.

 

First, I open the pack of Oreos. Double Stuff is preferred, but not necessary.

 

Second, I reach in to the pack. This is where details begin to get very important.

 

Third, I take the Oreo and put into my mouth.

I close my teeth down on it and bite. I consume about a third of the Oreo.

 

Fourth, I repeat step 3 until cookie is completed.

 

Fifth, I repeat the process for any other Oreos I have.

 

So basically, I take the Oreo and eat it.

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Split the Oreo in half, lick the white cream, dunk it in milk, and just drink the milk then eat the Oreo. A weird ritual, I know. I might change it.

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(edited)

I fuckin drown them, Stir it up, And call it Cookie milk.

 

I do that with graham crackers.

 

As for Oreos I split 'em apart, roll the clean side's edge across the icing to split the icing in half, and drag the edge up, transferring half the icing to each side. A long-ish process in writing, takes like 2 seconds to actually do.

Edited by Slaigh
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I dip my oreo in the freshest oxygen, and then follow up by caressing it, singing an amish lullaby in Russian to it while bathing it in the finest silk. I after dip it in my vat of pony semen, and eat it as though it were bestowed to me by the gods.

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(edited)

How do I eat Oreo cookies you ask? I usually do it in five ritualistic steps.

 

1: I open up the bag and listen to their joyous screams, thanking me that I have finally freed them from their cookie prison.

 

2: I reach in and pull out a handful, often times 4-6. I hold several up and look at the black and white biscuits hungrily. I can feel my mouth trembling with delight for what's about to happen.

 

3: Before the Oreoians realize what's about to happen I begin to twist several of them apart. Their screams of delight turn to blood curdling howls of agony.

 

4: I lick away the frosty, sugary goodness that was once the Oreos I had torn asunder and devour their delicious chocolaty exoskeletons. All the while I'm staring back at the remaining Oreos, grinning with delight.

 

5: I take the remaining Oreos and throw them into a blender with vanilla ice cream and almond milk. As I press the button I can hear the once active voices of the remaining Oreoians being silenced. I let out an uncontrollable laugh, knowing what atrocities I had committed against the cookie kingdom. After pouring myself a glass and drinking the blend of cookie and dairy products, I knew that I had finally gained my vengeance against them for taking away my family!

 

 

 

I then wake up and begin questioning what the hell is wrong with me. But seriously, this is how I usually eat my Oreos, just take out the evil little tidbits here and there.

Edited by Accellerant
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Well, first I go to the store to buy some oreos. I grab them and checkout and walk back home. I get to the front door, open it, go inside, and close the door. I lock the door and run to my room, to my computer, and put my oreos near my computer. I go to the kitchen, open the fridge, take out the milk, pour it in to the cup. I sip the milk to make sure it's good, put the lid back on, put the milk back in to the fridge, and close it. I run back to my room being careful not to spill my milk. I go to my desk where my computer is, and open the package of oreos. I grab one, dunk it in the milk, take it out, put it in my mouth and chew it. Last but not least. swallow it.

 

And that's how I eat oreos.

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I remove one from the packet and place it gently on a counter before caressing it with my index finger and kissing it gently. I THEN TAKE THE HAMMER OF THOR AND SMASH IT INTO A MILLION PIECES SO THAT ITS CRUMBS SPILL OVER THE FLOOR. THIS ALLOWS ME TO ROLL MY NAKED BODY AROUND IN ITS SPLENDOR. HAVING ITS SHELL TOUCH ME MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL. SO VERY POWERFUL. img-1682070-1-9QvF1.png

 

 

 

wat.png

 

 

(my reaction)

 

Anywaiz....

 

I usually take off one of the chocolate discs and eat it, and then eat the rest, so that I can taste moar of teh vanilla deliciousness o3o

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