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How do/did your parents discipline you?


Moonlight

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When I was younger my mum always spanked me really hard but now that I told her that it was really cruel and spoke to her honestly and briefly she stopped and instead I get time outs but that's better than getting hit on the bum.

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The Spartans were badass mofos weren't they? Had no idea you were from a spartan family though. ohmy.png I suppose you were worthy if you are alive.

Only on my mother's side, she descended from a very long line of Spartans. As for if I'm worthy or not... well that remains to be seen...

 

No mama no! I promise I'll work harder please don't hit me! Ouch mama you're hurting me!

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My father simply gave me a speaking-to, but my mother always pinched me when I was little. I was also scared to death of vacuum cleaners and she would threaten to use it on me when I misbehave. She also spanks me and my bro if we did bad things(even in my teen years, she still does it, but mostly because she's trying to be funny despite me saying otherwise).

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growing up i noticed that i (CHECK MARK THEM OFF :D)

  • got belted
  • yelled at
  • grounded
  • everything taken from me
  • had to skip several vacation to spend with my real dad (who was constantly high as fuck, and his house smelled like pee and the only good thing he had was a playstation 2.
  • being locked into my room, as well as my bathroom.
  • being left at home while my family went to the mall.

most of this stuff happened within the same year. 

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I think I got hit only twice in my childhood, in both cases it was a slap from my mother after I back-talked so much that she, for the lack of better term, snapped.

Other than that, my punishments were mostly limited to PC, internet and games. And boy oh boy, was the internet restriction hard to violate back in the time when it was billed per minute. Those were the times, ha, downloading 5mb was "kind of a big deal" and floppy discs were "the shit". happy.png

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not getting allowance, the odd grounding if I really screwed up. My parents preferred the route of rewarding good over punishing bad. The later came on it's own because logically "if your bad, you don't get what you want". 

 

theres the issue.. you were GIVEN an "allowance". That alone is a bad idea. Need to EARN that money tongue.png  Personally I had to earn every penny I was ever given. Skip a chore, or do it half assed and I was docked pay.  Was paid a buck a chore. Didn't matter the work, it was a buck regardless. Outside of holidays and birthdays, I had to purchase my own toys too... yay.. Never bought a bike, all mine to this day were junk yard rescues of random parts whipped together and fixed with parts from wal mart smile.png

 

Nah in all reality, punishment can, and must vary. Not everyone is exactly the same like the books would love to claim. Just being denied basic things is hardly a punishment to many. In some cases people get so used to it thats all they know and want anymore.

 

My Uncle is one fine example of this. From an early age he was being sent to prison for car theft and other petty crimes, and thats the worst of it. As such he can't barely spend a few months out of his cell before he falls right back and just goes and does it again.

Theres no real punishment there, he's being fed, clothed, and given a warm room with a roof for FREE. Whats to keep him from just continuing to pull from the system? Why would he want too? Over a lack of privacy that he's so used to not having anymore that its no longer consequential?

 

Same for many kids, a simple "time out" or "grounding" may work for some, but many won't take to it. They'll either use it as time to plot a better move next time so they aren't caught, or just brush it off and keep doing what they did. 

In some cases the outlash is also simply for attention. Since theres no real negative feedback to make it not wanted repeatedly, the child may actually just want the attention they're given for the time that it lasts during a lecture and the walk into the corner or room. My little cousin is like this for one. He feels literally its the only way to get any attention from his mother (she's useless tbh) and its why my sister had to take him in. Now sadly, simple punishments are ineffective, and he wants them for the attention. 

I'm not saying a beating is a good alternative tbh, but the fear of  slight pain (or even the mere the threat of it) of some sort is a far greater deterrent than "oh you can't watch TV, but your going to hear us watch it anyway, so go to your room full of all sorts of other activities!"

Edited by GrimCW
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theres the issue.. you were GIVEN an "allowance". That alone is a bad idea. Need to EARN that money img-1894009-1-tongue.png  Personally I had to earn every penny I was ever given. Skip a chore, or do it half assed and I was docked pay.  Was paid a buck a chore. Didn't matter the work, it was a buck regardless. Outside of holidays and birthdays, I had to purchase my own toys too... yay.. Never bought a bike, all mine to this day were junk yard rescues of random parts whipped together and fixed with parts from wal mart img-1894009-2-smile.png

 

Nah in all reality, punishment can, and must vary. Not everyone is exactly the same like the books would love to claim. Just being denied basic things is hardly a punishment to many. In some cases people get so used to it thats all they know and want anymore.

 

My Uncle is one fine example of this. From an early age he was being sent to prison for car theft and other petty crimes, and thats the worst of it. As such he can't barely spend a few months out of his cell before he falls right back and just goes and does it again.

Theres no real punishment there, he's being fed, clothed, and given a warm room with a roof for FREE. Whats to keep him from just continuing to pull from the system? Why would he want too? Over a lack of privacy that he's so used to not having anymore that its no longer consequential?

 

Same for many kids, a simple "time out" or "grounding" may work for some, but many won't take to it. They'll either use it as time to plot a better move next time so they aren't caught, or just brush it off and keep doing what they did. 

In some cases the outlash is also simply for attention. Since theres no real negative feedback to make it not wanted repeatedly, the child may actually just want the attention they're given for the time that it lasts during a lecture and the walk into the corner or room. My little cousin is like this for one. He feels literally its the only way to get any attention from his mother (she's useless tbh) and its why my sister had to take him in. Now sadly, simple punishments are ineffective, and he wants them for the attention. 

I'm not saying a beating is a good alternative tbh, but the fear of  slight pain (or even the mere the threat of it) of some sort is a far greater deterrent than "oh you can't watch TV, but your going to hear us watch it anyway, so go to your room full of all sorts of other activities!"

 

You'd be surprised how harsh punishment can backfire, I have a niece that raised that way and now she's a royal brat and as hard to deal with as every because it made her rebel. 

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I still get hit :blink: And not even for reasonable things. If I accidentally drop something, I get hit and yelled at, if I talk back I get yelled at. If I don't do something the way my mom wants me to do it I get hit. Simple as that :(

 

So yeah the belt was never used with me, but I have gotten hit plenty of times in my life and I still do :( The worst part is when I get yelled at :( Then I just cry

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I used to learn from other's errors, so I've never been punished or did anything.

 

But my sister... Well, I used to hide in my room when this happened, and it happened quite often.

 

But now it's worse, my mother is being a jerk.

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You'd be surprised how harsh punishment can backfire, I have a niece that raised that way and now she's a royal brat and as hard to deal with as every because it made her rebel. 

 

Like I said, everyone is different. Some need the extra little push, others need less. Its a matter of finding whats right for the individual child. Like I've stated before, a kid isn't always going to be the perfect little being that the parenting books paint pictures of. Theres a reason there are many many different books based on many many different styles of parenting. And a reason why I personally believe that trying to learn something like that from a book shows sheer stupidity.

 

Its funny though, USUALLY the ones that were given the lesser punishment, but needed the harsher, are the ones that see fit to be an uncontrollable brat (such as my little cousin). Because they don't see it as punishment and feel theres nothing to fear....

usually... obviously not always tongue.png

 

 

I still get hit blink.png And not even for reasonable things. If I accidentally drop something, I get hit and yelled at, if I talk back I get yelled at. If I don't do something the way my mom wants me to do it I get hit. Simple as that sad.png

 

So yeah the belt was never used with me, but I have gotten hit plenty of times in my life and I still do sad.png The worst part is when I get yelled at sad.png Then I just cry

 
I'm not gonna sugar coat it here. Sounds like your mum has some anger issues she needs to see a therapist about if this is true.. I'm gonna hafta count for possible exaggeration due to age though (in profile), so no offense. but the 12-19 years are oft met with excessive emotional overdrive in most persons, which means sometimes its taken by the person as far far worse than it is in reality... sry, Going to school for nursing and recently hit the development cycle and stuff...
 
My mother was similar for most of my life, but she did end up at a therapist eventually (was supposed to be there for me and school troubles, but ended up more between her AND me than anything)
Edited by GrimCW
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Like I said, everyone is different. Some need the extra little push, others need less. Its a matter of finding whats right for the individual child. Like I've stated before, a kid isn't always going to be the perfect little being that the parenting books paint pictures of. Theres a reason there are many many different books based on many many different styles of parenting. And a reason why I personally believe that trying to learn something like that from a book show sheer stupidity.

 

Its funny though, USUALLY the ones that were given the lesser punishment, but needed the harsher, are the ones that see fit to be an uncontrollable brat (such as my little cousin). Because they don't see it as punishment and feel theres nothing to fear....

usually... obviously not always tongue.png

 

The issue I see a lot is just dishing out punishment without explaining to them why it was wrong, so they grow to think they're just being picked on and resent it. 

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The issue I see a lot is just dishing out punishment without explaining to them why it was wrong, so they grow to think they're just being picked on and resent it. 

 

Yar yar, thats something I think i mentioned in an earlier post. If the kid doesn't know the WHY, they won't understand the PURPOSE of the punishment.. Kinda moots the whole point. My father would lecture me both before and after if I did get a swat from the belt. Usually he just cracked it in his hands, twas my mother that got borderline abusive at times, and never said much as to why. Instead my father had to explain it later....

 

so brohoof to that smile.png

Edited by GrimCW
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Yar yar, thats something I think i mentioned in an earlier post. If the kid doesn't know the WHY, they won't understand the PURPOSE of the punishment.. Kinda moots the whole point. My father would lecture me both before and after if I did get a swat from the belt. Usually he just cracked it in his hands, twas my mother that got borderline abusive at times, and never said much as to why. Instead my father had to explain it later....

 

so brohoof to that smile.png

 

And then the issue of punishing kids for irrational reasons just because they did something that wasn't wrong(or had a accident of some kind) and it frustrated them. 

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my parents uses a "switch" on me. a "switch" is a long skinny flexible sapling tree thats is very strong and very painful when struck across the booty. they would send me to pick one out when i had done wrong to add to the punishment. but im almost 27 soooooo that was back when men were men and women where too so this kinda thing was normal.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...

This thread reminded me of why I hate corporal punishment so much, which I received as a child. I still get angry whenever I remember it. I honestly believe it's wrong for anyone to (unwillingly  :comeatus: ) be disciplined this way.

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Spanking all the way until I turned 13, then it turned into slapping from mom or punching from dad sadly. Don't know where that came from. It also involved losing time from games, the usual, and sadly occasional paddling. 

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When I was younger I use to get spanked on the rear with a hand or belt depending on what I did, hey it's not abuse, it use to be common practice, now we got a bunch of spoild brats running around with no respect whatsoever, all because their parents are too afraid to discipline them properly! :angry:

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I'll start by saying that I'm older... so... a lot that was "ok" when I was young would probably get parents in a heap of trouble in this day and age.

 

Stepfather yelled... A LOT and for the least little things. I would have to wash dishes and he'd stand there and tell me they weren't clean enough and make me re-wash them for hours.  And he filled the sink with water so hot it was just short of scalding.  Also, I was really weak in math and would not only have to do the math homework I brought home but hour upon hour of math problems that my stepfather made for me (he was a math teacher by trade).

 

Mother... on the rare occasion I did something to tick Mom off and Stepfather wasn't home, her weapon of choice was spanking with a wooden spoon.  The last spanking I ever got  I was 14 or 15 and she hit me so hard with it the wooden spoon BROKE.

 

But both parents were more the type to inflict psychological damage...and, in retrospect, the spankings were nothing compared to the psychological stuff (because a sore behind heals... a scarred psyche may not).

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I myself was never punished by my parents when I was a child; probably because I've always had this lax nature. Oh, but I've heard wonderful stories of how my eldest brother would be left hanging from his feet for hours at times. Oh, and we all knew well enough to behave when the chancla came into the picture...

 

http://youtu.be/aYviBsqwwzE

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I used to get slapped on the back of hand by my Dad (rarely happened), and my Mum hit me witha  wooden spoon

(It's an Irish thing >.>)

 

It didn't happen much, and I think it's damned necessary and I'm glad it was done - it teaches you to stop acting like a fucking idiot.

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Well......I grew up under a very tough household.  A household of Spaniards so yeah, that means talking on the dinner table, you'll be eating a shoe when it hits your face.  Or if you talked back, carry a shield, here comes the belt.   That's just an example of what it was like.   Grounded, that was like bullshit, b/c my cousins and i use to break that all the time.    So, i was pretty much a bad boy, but not all bad. 

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ehh, im in southern america soo... backwoods folks arent known for being soft. But hey, i learned to cook, clean, vacuum, sweep, mow, whole nine yards by like 7 years old, i ant complain! :)

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