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Finesthour

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Finesthour

Finesthour

From birth, the world has attacked me.

 

Giving me abusive parents, kidnapping me, rape.

 

Relentless agony pains my heart, always threatening to put me into a pit of depression.

 

Once I became older, love became an option in my life.

 

I sought love to bring me comfort, but with the horrible agony, it only brought more pain.

 

Constant heartbreak made me bitter, made me hate to be alive.

 

And then, in the year of 2011, I snapped.

 

Every fiber of my defenses in my heart broke, spiraling me into a depression.

 

I sat in the pit of despair for months, never thinking I would find a way out.

 

And suddenly, a ray of light appeared into my life, destroying my depression.

 

I feared the Earth was trying to attack me again, as it has always done.

 

But, I put aside these fears as I thought I had finally found true happiness.

 

But with happiness comes great pains.

 

Once we became a couple, every problem within me shown once again.

 

I give my heart to anyone who will take it, and I gave her my entire being.

 

Now, she is bored of me and it is tearing us apart.

 

What is wrong with me?

 

What did I do wrong to make her think this way?

 

I try as hard as I can to be wonderful to her, to make her love herself.

 

In return, she gets bored of me.

 

She talks about how she wants her past back completely, and that past does not involve me.

 

The pain that is now in my heart is dragging me down, down to the darkest pits.

 

The happiness I had when I played xbox disappeared when I read the note she gave me.

 

I am now shown how much of a horrible person I am.

 

I cannot experience happiness in this world.

 

Months ago, I came to the conclusion that I would be forever alone.

 

And now I fear that my heart will be broken once again.

 

And if it is broken a 16th time, I fear for my being.

 

I must stay out of reach of anything sharp, for I fear of my intentions.

 

I do not wish to hurt myself, but the world is forcing these problems on me.

 

I love Alex with all of my heart... and because of that, we are being torn apart.

 

I hate myself. I hate how I am. I hate how I love everything.

 

I want to be a normal guy. I want to be able to keep a relationship.

 

I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO LOVE SOMEONE AND BE LOVED IN RETURN.

 

BUT NO, THE WORLD HAS CURSED ME WITH A BURDEN.

 

What the hell is wrong with me.

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Finesthour
Finesthour

From birth, the world has attacked me.   Giving me abusive parents, kidnapping me, rape.   Relentless agony pains my heart, always threatening to put me into a pit of depression.   Once I bec

QueenChrysalis
QueenChrysalis

indeed am not my dear fellow brony im just johh117

HomuraBL
HomuraBL

Stop it everyone! Finest is having a problem here, am I the only one who is considering his feelings? So Finest, you are basically telling me that Alex is bored of you? Or are you saying someone else

HomuraBL

HomuraBL

Stop it everyone! Finest is having a problem here, am I the only one who is considering his feelings? So Finest, you are basically telling me that Alex is bored of you? Or are you saying someone else was bored of you. (I'm being serious, it would help me understand the problem better.)

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Aureity

Aureity

I'm sorry to hear about the crappy childhood you had, and the crap you're going through right now. :(

If you ever wanna talk about it, we're always here to listen.

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Finesthour

Finesthour

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Stop it everyone! Finest is having a problem here, am I the only one who is considering his feelings? So Finest, you are basically telling me that Alex is bored of you? Or are you saying someone else was bored of you. (I'm being serious, it would help me understand the problem better.)

 

All my life, everyone I give my heart to gets bored of me and leaves me in the dust heartbroken.

 

This is the first time I have ever truly loved someone, and she is bored of me.

 

If she leaves me... I can't handle it.

 

And not ONCE did I say no one else is feeling like this.

 

So do NOT treat me like an prepubescent boy with that guilt trip shit.

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WildCard

WildCard

(edited)

I know at least a bit how you feel. Fell in love with someone back in '10, became good friends, somehow everything went wrong then and it took me almost 2 years to deal with it. I tried to be like her and did things that I know she liked to win her attention back(which failed). I even rejected another girl, because I were unable to fall in love with somebody else and was moody and depressed.

Now I consider myself as happy, but if I get reminded of her(even listen a song we liked) my mood blackens and I know that I still don't want to give up.

So you can't do much, just try avoiding yourself from doing things you will regret and stay strong

Edited by PonyPunk
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Electrobolt

Electrobolt

I... I don't know what to say, Rose... Except... I'm sorry this had to happen to you... And ignore those who try to joke around this whole issue... Joking about these things... That should be a crime... But stay strong... Things are sure to get better in the future if you keep strong

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HomuraBL

HomuraBL

(edited)

All my life, everyone I give my heart to gets bored of me and leaves me in the dust heartbroken.

 

This is the first time I have ever truly loved someone, and she is bored of me.

 

If she leaves me... I can't handle it.

 

And not ONCE did I say no one else is feeling like this.

 

So do NOT treat me like an prepubescent boy with that guilt trip shit.

 

Huh, What?!? You are getting mad at me? W-W-WHY? I'm trying to help you Finest. And what do you mean I said no one else was feeling that way and that I was treating you like a prepubescent boy with a guilt trip? I never said that. I never meant to make you feel that way if I did. I'm sorry Finest.

Edited by RaccoonBL
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Pinkie Diane Pie

Pinkie Diane Pie

Wow. My heart aches now after reading that. I know exactly how you feel. If you need anypony to talk to, I'm here for you.

 

Yeah, that was a pretty sad writing of yours, Rose. I would hate to be alive if that happend to me. :(

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Finesthour

Finesthour

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Huh, What?!? You are getting mad at me? W-W-WHY? I'm trying to help you Finest. And what do you mean I said no one else was feeling that way and that I was treating you like a prepubescent boy with a guilt trip? I never said that. I never mean to make you feel that way if I did. I'm sorry Finest.

 

I'm not exploding, I am trying to use logic.

 

I am stressed out of my mind.

 

When I said that last part, I was meaning it to everyone.

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Sandwhisper

Sandwhisper

Gary, I'm not bored of you. I've said that thousands of times.

I don't exactly want to talk all about me all the time, cuz I'm not really all that good or cool or whatever. I don't want you hurt, I don't want you happy, but I don't want to hide this all away. I don't wanna lose you.

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Finesthour

Finesthour

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Gary, I'm not bored of you. I've said that thousands of times.

I don't exactly want to talk all about me all the time, cuz I'm not really all that good or cool or whatever. I don't want you hurt, I don't want you happy, but I don't want to hide this all away. I don't wanna lose you.

 

I don't want to lose you... I never do...

 

And you are amazing... I wouldn't act this way over someone if you weren't.

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