What do ya think of my fanfic idea?

[Oblivion 20,265]

So I have decided to start writing my second Fan Fiction and I THINK I have a decent Idea, So it would be awesome if I could maybe get some feed back on what you all think.

Feel free to shout out ideas!

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131329/the-death-of-the-world-famous-flim-flam-brothers

 

[Rainbow Blitz 45]

Still a better love story than twilight.Lol that was random. But seriously, I would read this. It sounds very cool and mysterious

[Mand'alor Dash 2,224]

Sounds like it could make an interesting black comedy. I say go for it. It's a good premise, and with some good writing, it could end up being a thing of beauty.

[Oblivion 20,265]

DONE WITH THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!!

 

It had been over a month since the Apple family had lost their once prized apple farm to the despicable "Flim Flam Brothers" The brothers had to admit that it had been one hell of a competition, but in the end the Apple Family, even with the help of 5 other ponies, just simply could not keep up with the pure speed of the "super cider squeezy 6000" In the end the Apple family lost, thus they really had no choice and ended up moving to Appleloosa where they temporally lived with Braeburn, until they could earn enough keeps working on Appleloosa's orchard to someday buy their own place, or at the very least build one. Yes life was looking pretty bleak for the once proud owners of "Sweet Apple Acres" Just the fact that things would never go back to the way it was before......or would it due to the unknown events that were taking place in Ponyville at this very moment.

_____________________________

       Rainbow Dash was flying over Sweet Apple Acres for the first time since Applejacks departure, Nothing felt the same after Applejack left, and Dash especially hated that fact, not only did she hate that fact she also hated the Flim Flam Brothers beyond belief, she wished more than anything they would just disappear from the face of Equestria and never return, for they forced the one pony in Equestria that was almost, ALMOST as awesome as she was, to leave and Dash just simply could not forgive them for such a heinous act. and the thing was just about everypony in Ponyville felt exactly the same way, especially Pinkie Pie, she hated those bastards worse than anypony could possibly imagine, in fact her mane went straight for 2 weeks after Applejack left, She even went as far as pulling awful pranks on the two brothers, nearly killing them a couple times, well maybe not directly, but having an anvil fall on somepony's head isn't exactly the smartest thing to do in the name of pranking, even Dash had to admit that was a  little bit too far.

       Dash let out a sigh of defeat and continued to fly over "Flim Flam Farms" as the two brothers renamed it. Dash cringed at the new name of the farm, and absolutely hated what those two had done to it. Applejacks once classical bright red barn had been torn down and in it's place  

stood three industrial looking factory buildings with ugly smoke stacks towering out of the top, shamelessly poring smog over the small village of Ponyville, the sight was just more than even the mighty Dash could take, she felt a tear start to form in the corner of her eye and quickly swiped it away.

        Dash turned around and started to fly the direction the would be the quickest to get her out of the monstrosity that was once the Apple families home, when something caught her attention in the corner of her eye. she quickly focused on what she thought she saw......"It, it couldn't be" she thought aloud. She landed right by the sight, and there hanging from the largest apple tree on the entire farm and just so happened to be closet to the house, hung both of the Brothers, dead with a tight noose warped firmly around their neck.

     Dash just stood there with a mixture of confusion, and even a slight bittersweet taste of...joy. "NO!" Dash shouted allowed. "I mean sure, I hate them, but I hardly think they deserve THIS!" Dash thought to herself as she continued to stare at their lifeless body's.

      Then that brought up the next question. "Who should I tell first? should I even tell anypony or just let these greedy carcases hang out here and rot" Dash pondered for a second then a sudden wave of realization hit her. "If I tell anypony, t-then they might think it was ME!" Dash started to panic at the thought and as if on cue she was all of a sudden tackled by three white Pegasai wearing the signature royal guard armor.

"Rainbow Dash, you are hear by charged with the murder of these two earth ponies, come quietly and there will be no trouble!"

     Her heart froze when the guard finished, how could they blame HER she just discovered the bodies of them, and had nothing to even do with their deaths, so then how could they just randomly jump to such large conclusions when there wasn't even any clues pointing to anypony as of yet, let alone HER!

      Normally Dash would not tolerate being captured let alone pined to the ground, but she knew full well that this was not just some measly police force, this was the royal guard she was dealing with! And any attempts to escape, or otherwise fight back could instantly be branded as treason. For the first time in her life Dash used common sense, for she knew for a fact that she was innocent, all she could really do now is pray to Celestia that they could prove her innocence.

________________________________

Back at the library Twilight was happily studying away still a little shaken by Applejacks sudden departure when Out of nowhere, "BUUUUUURP"

"Whoa, that was a big one" Spike blushed as a scroll of paper slowly floated to the ground.

"ugh, I wonder what this could be" Twilight asked herself as she picked up the letter with her magic and unrolled it.

"Princess Celestia

Dear Twilight Sparkle, I am sorry to inform you

that your friend Rainbow Dash the element of loyalty

has just been charged with the murder of both of the "Flim Flam Brothers"

I request all 5 of your presence in Canterlot immediately the next day"

Twilight froze after she finished, she could tell right away by Celestias unusually formal letter that this was serious, and with that she looked directly into spikes eyes and said. "Off to Canterlot"