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(horrible attempt at making a) Text Adventure!


Enemy Stand

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2. "A name means nothing on the battlefield."

 

"Oh so you must want the Canterlot Guard's discount. Here, 25% off all baked goods."

She gestures to the large glass stand full of sugary confectionery and pastry.

 

Food select!

 

1. Maple Walnut Cruller

2. Long John

3. Manehattan Creme

4. Danish

5. Get ye flask

6. Chocolate Triple-Choco Hazlenut Chipper Chunk Cookie

7. "25%? That's it?"

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7. "25%? That's it?"

 

Your left eye begins to twitch with rage. You begin to lose control of yourself, and you...

 

1.Vaporize the donut store pony, as their low discount displeases you.

2.Flip a table and make loud, awkward horse noises as you demand a higher discount

3.Go super saiyan and wreck the place, teaching them a lesson to give you a higher discount

4.Calm down, and rather derpily accept the discount.

5.Piss all over the ground, and bash your head against the wall repeatedly.

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5. Piss all over the ground, and bash your head against the wall repeatedly

you smash your head in so hard you obtain pyromania

with your new found addiction to fire do you?

 

​1. set the doughnut store a fire

2. set your self a fire

3. get mental help

4. set the doughnut pony a fire

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3. get mental help

 

You find a psychologist. Also in the waiting room is Prince Blueblood, but he's looking ashamed of himself and already has a black eye. Ow, looks like it smarts.

 

1. Talk to injured Blueblood

2. Give Blueblood a donut

3. Give Blueblood a third degree burn

4. Talk to Psychologist

5. Argue that Blueblood is the Psychologist

6. Argue that Blueblood is the donut

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3.Give Bluebood a third degree burn

 

You never did much care for that Bluebood fellow. You then leave the Psychologists office, as you decide you don't need help, because you're awesome! What will you do next..

 

1. Go to Sugarcube corner to buy the last muffin, so that Derpy can't have it.

2. Offer to help the Cutie Mark Crusaders get totally badass fire related cutie marks, by setting random things on fire.

3. Climb to the top of the highest building in Ponyville, and drop a bass guitar to see what will happen.

4. Leave ponyville, and find a Lion Turtle to gain the power of firebending. 

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1. Go to Sugarcube corner to buy the last muffin, so that Derpy can't have it.

 

You step outside the store and confront Derpy! Derpy looks at you with hurting tears welling up in her eyes.

What will you do?

 

1) stuff your face right in front of her.

2) Drop the muffin on the ground, stomp on it, and say: "OK, it's all yours. EAT IT!"

3) Walk on by, laughing.

4) "Wanna fight me for it? Bi@tch?"

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3) Walk on by, laughing.

 

Derpy starts crying. What do?

  • Regret what you did, go back to her, apologize, and give her the muffin.
  • Go back to her and say: "It's my muffin. Get your own." Then walk away, laughing, then start eating the muffin.
  • Ignore Derpy, walk away, and save the muffin for later.
  • Ignore Derpy and eat the muffin while walking away.
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Go back to her and say: "It's MY muffin! Get your own!" Then walk away, laughing, then start eating the muffin.

dammit man y u maek me tyep all dat

 

Uh oh, Derpy attacks! What do you do?

 

1. SEND OUT SQUIRTLE!

2. Use the nearest Fluttershy as a shield.

3. Hide in the house across the street.

4. Kill her with fire.

  • Brohoof 1
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dammit man y u maek me tyep all dat

use copy and paste

 

anyway

 

3. Hide in the house across the street

 

The residents of the house are not happy with the fact you broke in and tell you to leave, or else. What do?

  • Try to talk to them
  • Fight them
  • Say "sorry" and run to another house.
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Fight them.
 

You drop-kick all the residents of the house and knock them out cold.
Guards then burst into the residence. one walks up to you and says:
"Stop! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!"

1. Pay the court a fine
2. Serve your sentence

3. Fight the guards

4. Run like f*ck.

  • Brohoof 1
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4. Run like f*ck.

 

You push some guards aside and run up the stairs. Your time is saved by closing some of the doors and barricading them with the nearest object. You look around.

  • Jump into a big pile of hay outside the house.
  • Slide down the ladder and keep running.
  • Wait for the guards to come.
Edited by Bearsharktopus
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Jump into a big pile of hay outside the house.

 

Set fire to the hay, so the guards cannot follow.

You run around the corner giving the guards the slip for the moment...but Spike is standing there looking at you.

 

Do you...

1) beat the snot outa Spike.

1) Run for the Carousel Boutique.

1) Run for the railway station.

1) Run for the hospital.

or

1) Beat the snot outa Spike.

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Run for the railway station.

 

You run to the railway station, and there is a cargo train parked there. It is a little bit slow and takes a lot of effort to keep it going by yourself. Will you hijack it?

 

1. Yes

2. No

Edited by Bearsharktopus
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2. A portal back to Earth

 

Guess what? It works, but you're in Earth during the time when the dinosaurs roamed. And as well, a T. Rex destroys your portal. You run, and eventually hide. What will you do now?

 

1.) Tame a dinosaur and go on violent adventures.

2.) Go back to your portal and try to fix it, even though it's most likely you aren't.

3.) Look for some necessities. You're a survivalist now.

4.) Cry.

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1) Cook it.

 

Well, before you can go away from the nest with the egg to cook it, the mother comes back to the nest and sees you with the egg. She charges at you. Quick! What will you do?

 

1.) Dodge and run

2.) Dodge and fight

3.) Throw the egg at her face before she can hit you.

Edited by Bearsharktopus
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2.) Dodge and fight.

 

The dinosaur eats you as soon as you lunge towards it. Too bad. You were not chewed, however, so you are stuck inside its stomach. Will you...

 

1. Accept defeat

2. Try to cut your way out with objects in the stomach

3. Attempt to climb back out

Edited by Shalashaska
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3. Attempt to climb back out 

 

You strike your hooves up the esophagus and throat of the female dinosaur. Less than a minute, you slip and fall because of water. What now?

 

1. Try again

2. Try to cut your way out with objects in the stomach

3. Beat the stomach of the dinosaur and see if she will puke you out.

4. Cry and accept defeat

Edited by Bearsharktopus
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3. Beat the stomach of the dinosaur and see if she will puke you out.

 

It works! The dino vomits you out. What will you do now?

 

1. Run away

2. Try to make friends with it

3. Fight it again

4. Get it to eat you again for some reason

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1. Run faster.

 

You eventually get behind a rock and hide. The dinosaur is getting closer but seems to be unaware of your location. What do you do?

 

1. Wait

2. Run

3. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb"

4. Walk up to the dinosaur and kick it in the leg

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4. Walk up to the dinosaur and kick it in the leg

 

You carry out your plan to sneak up on the dino and kick its leg with all your might. You kick the other leg after going around the dino. The dino screams in pain. You back out, then you sense that another dino, presumably its mate, is coming. What now?

 

1. Keep kicking

2. Run and find a hiding spot.

3. Wait for the other dino.

Edited by Bearsharktopus
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2, Wait for the other dino.

 

The first dino is incapacitated, and you feel like you can take on anything. The other dino approaches you. What do you do?

 

1. Fight it

2. Run away

3. Go back to kicking Dino #1

4. Taunt it by doing the discount double-check dance

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Run away

 

You now have 2 dinos after you. What do you do?

 

1. FIGHT THEM IDIOT

2. Run

3. Turn around and run straight for them, realizing you can restart life anytime

4. Scream like a mofo.

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