"MLP" + "Star Wars" crossover story (dream-inspired)

[SasQ 1,355]

Hey, guess what happens when one reads about plot structure of great movies all day long and then watches some pon3 before going to sleep ;-)

Last night I had an interesting dream about ponies :-) I had several dreams about ponies in the past, but this time the dream was very story-driven, like a sci-fi/adventure movie. It seemed like a crossover of MLP with "Star Wars" with a little flavor of "Back To The Future" ;-D I very enjoyed it, so I decided to share it with y'all.

Knowing the creative capability of this fandom, I thought it may inspire some new fanfics ;-) Actually, I started writing one myself, basing on the story from this dream (but extending it somewhat more), since who would know the dream scenery and its story better than the dreamer himself? ;-J If you're curious of how it turned out, I can post here my draft of the story I wrote around this dream. It's not finished yet, but it already evolved into something more elaborated and engaging than the original dream ;-)

But let me start from the original dream, so that you could see how it evolved later. Here it is, as I originally dreamed it:

I was dreaming that I am the Cutie Mark Crusaders (yes, all three of them at the same time: I could switch my points of view at will between all three). And with us there was Starswirl the Bearded. The thing was that we are on an alien planet and we need to infiltrate some underground installation of the Empire and find a switch which turns off the shields surrounding the planet, so that the forces of Rebellion could attack it. Supposedly Starswirl brought us there from Ponyville through a time travel.

{This part of my dream was somewhat messed up, but nevertheless it inspired some parts of the story, so I leave it as it was. Bear with me.}
I don't remember how exactly have we got there and what happened before {I filled this gap later when writing my story}, but we were in a forest, in an autumn scenery: lots of fallen leaves all around the place. I remember a scene where Starswirl the Bearded magically levitated a bunch of leaves into the air, and we flew upon them as on a flying carpet; somewhat similar to how Fluttershy flew upon butterflies when she fallen to the ground as a filly. I hadn't noticed when the scenery changed into winter, day into night, and the forest into a city. We were riding in a cart made of leaves along a road, between some cars (as if we were riding upstream), and we noticed that we're heading straight into a huge snowplough or something. Screaming aloud, we drove under it, between its wheels, and into its internal mechanisms. It was very scary when all these gears and shafts were rotating just above our heads, but thanks to Starswirl's protective spells we survived and managed to get into its back container, where it was more calm. We noticed that there is some exit leading up, and some bailer moves up and down, taking all these leaves and snow up. We jumped on it and get onto the upper level.

We found ourselves in front of some glass doors with code locks. This doors lead into the installation, and we wanted to get in. We couldn't open the door, so Starswirl tried to unlock it with magic. Unfortunately someone noticed us and turned on the alarm. Then, Starswirl cast a Time Reversal spell. {And here, the oscar goes to my dreaming mind for visual effects :-) because the Time Reversal spell looked very mind-blowing! :-D Suddenly we could see four-dimensionally, and we could see our "spacetime pony tails": that is, our past and future bodies connected into a line, a single 4D object. As if one put all these animation frames on different layers in a graphics editing software, each layer with less and less opacity. All the world around us, including ourselves, started to go backwards: we were walking backwards, talking backwards, and we couldn't control our moves for a while, until the spell had decayed. But we retained all our memories, so we could use the knowledge we gained in our next attempt.} Starswirl was casting this spell everytime we got busted, so that we could start again, learning from our past (or future?) mistakes. This way we were getting deeper and deeper into the installation.

We were sneaking around the installation and visiting different places. We've been in some storage room, some filthy restroom for storm-troopers (:-D), a room full of electronic hardware, and finally we get into a room where we found Granny Smith locked in a prison. She didn't seem to know what's going on around her, and we tried to help her get out of there.

I don't remember exactly this part of the dream, but we had some headsets through which we were communicating with each other, and in order to free Granny Smith, we needed to use batteries from these headsets for something. I don't know why, but after taking out the batteries from the headsets I (as Sweetie Belle) become deaf for a moment. I couldn't even hear what my friends are speaking. This was very annoying, because it was limiting my senses, and I cannot hear if the guards are coming. {This could be an interesting plot device, so I'm trying to incorporate it into my story somehow.}

There was some short episode where we came to a gate which was open only when some miniature train was passing through it, so we had to cause the train passing to make it open for us to pass through it too. We helped Granny Smith to pass through the gate so she was free, but our job here wasn't done yet. {Another interesting idea, but I don't know how to make use of it yet.}

We were planning another attempt to get into the installation when we heard some noise coming from above. When we looked up, we saw several X-Wings taking off into the sky. Looks like the attack has already begun. {But why it was the Empire which had the X-Wings, and not the Rebellion? This confusion was an important part of this dream, because it inspired some interesting plot twist into my story ;-> } We were wondering if we should escape from the planet or try again to get into the installation and turn off the shield. After all, our allies might think that we already turned it off, and that's why they started the attack. When they fly through the shield, they will be all doomed. So we decided to get into the installation once again and try to find that damn switch to turn off these shields.

When hiding somewhere inside the installation, we overheard a talk between two guards about the switch controlling the shields, and they said something about the Central Core, where the switch is supposedly located. This was it! Now we know where the switch is. But we still don't know where is that Central Core they were talking about. So we need to locate that part of the installation first.

But then, when trying to pass through some door, we ultimately got caught, and Starswirl wasn't around to help us. The guards put us into a prison room and, after a while, there came Discord! :-P He was a security headmaster of the installation. He told us that he was trying to track us all that time since we get into the installation, and he finally did it, thanks to the sound monitoring (because we were talking with each other about the attack on the installation and about where we are). When we asked him about the Central Core, he told us that it doesn't exist at all. But we didn't believe him, so we oath to ourselves that we will get there next time, when Starswirl will come to rescue us and rewind the time once more. But now all our hope was in Starswirl's hooves, which was still free. We knew that he will come to set us free, because now only we know that the location of the power switch is in the Central Core.

Unfortunately, this is where I woke up :-/ So I don't know what happened later, and I need to invent the rest of the story (including the ending) myself. I haven't done it yet, but I managed to use the pieces from this dream to develop it into some better story. If you're curious, next time I can share with you what I have written so far, what are my ideas to fill the gaps, and how the plot can be structured.

Edited November 19, 2013 by SasQ

[SasQ 1,355]

OK, as I promised last time, I present you a design of the story I'm developing around the aforementioned dream. It's still in an outline phase, not a final draft yet. (But, as Meghan McCarthy once said, "Writing is rewriting. If you don't have a first draft down, then you can't have the second draft."). But it should let you see how I exploited the subtle details from my dream and turned them into a story.

 

TITLE:

"Star Mares: Rebel Yell" :-D

(Or maybe "Star Horse" would be a better title?)

 

PREMISE:
When CMCs play near their clubhouse, Starswirl the Bearded appears in a flash of light and takes them into the future. They go through "Star Wars"-like adventures, helping him to save the planet from the forces of the Emprire.

 

THEME:
If you don't know who's right, listen to your heart or gather more information, because things are not always as they seem. Listen carefully to both sides of the conflict before you decide to get yourself involved. If you don't know whose side you should take, take your own side and find your own way out.

 

HOOK: Sneaking in
{I needed something that will capture the readers' attention straight from the start, and keep them reading through the setting scenes of the story in Act I, which are less engaging but not less important. That's why I introduced this scene.}

We found ourselves in a dim-lit futuristic-looking internal structure of some alien base. Somewhat similar to the Confederates' installation from StarCraft. A quiet humming of some machinery comes to our ears from all around. In the background we see ponies in white, robot-looking space suits patrolling the stage. Slowly the camera slides to the side, showing a shadowy figure in the foreground. {Forgive me writing this part like a movie script, but that's how I visualize it: as a real episode of a TV show. I'll change it later.} All of its body is covered with a cape and a hood, so we cannot spot who is it. But it seems to be hiding from these white ponies in the background. It sneaks quietly, hiding behind walls and crates, trying to pass unnoticed. We see him sneaking up to a guard from behind and neutralizing him. Then he walks through a corridor. Suddenly from around the corner, two guards come out straight at him. They shout: "Hey you! Stop right there!" and they adopt combat positions. But the hooded pony quickly shoots two beams of magic precisely at the two guards, and they fall to the shiny floor. We now know that the hooded pony is a Unicorn, skilled in combat magic.

After a while, our mysterious hero stumbles upon another two guards. He quickly lightens up his horn and turns it into a light saber. After several acrobatic jumps and swooshing his saber around, both guards are defeated. But more guards appear all around him. He seems to be surrounded, all ways of escape are cut off.

"You shall come with us!" -- say the guards, tightening a circle around him.

But then, he turns off his light saber and relaxes. He covers all his body with his cape, and he suddenly disappears in a flash of light.
"Hey! Where did he go?!" -- the guards seem to be very surprised. They look around nervously, trying to spot him somewhere, but with no luck.
{This is a foreshadowing of the scene which will come later in the Catalyst, and also the scene in Act II when Starswirl will talk with CMCs about his previous visit into the installation.}

 

ACT I

 

1. SET-UP: In the clubhouse

We see Apple Bloom approaching the CMC's clubhouse. Already from the outside she can hear some loud voices coming from the inside.

 

2. THEME STATED: A quarrel

When she comes in, she sees her two best friends quarreling about something. Scootaloo thinks that their next pursuit should be one thing, and Sweetie Belle wants to do something else. {I need to figure out what could it be.} When they notice Apple Bloom, they turn to her and ask her for the judgment about which play would be the best for today. They push on her to take sides with one of them, and start fighting about her. But she cannot decide. Both propositions sound fun, and she doesn't want to make any of her friends upset. So she proposes another idea. {It would be best if it merged the two ideas of her friends together somehow.} They all agree to follow it.

{This states the theme for the whole story and foreshadows the events which will take place in the climax.}

 

3. CATALYST: A visitor from the future
Suddenly, in a big flash of light, Starswirl the Bearded appears in front of their surprised eyes, and he says: "Quick, there's no time to waste! I'm coming from the future, and I need your help, because our future is in danger!" They are very surprised. Why does he need their help, and not somepony's else? Starswirl explains: "I've seen that during your cutie mark pursuits you've become very skilled ponies; also you're small enough to fit into some tight places, and that's what I need to accomplish my task. Hurry up, we don't have much time! Come with me, I'll explain everything on the way."

 

4. DEBATE: Should we go with him?
"But my sister won't be happy if I be gone somewhere." -- Apple Bloom states her concerns.
"Don't worry, when we finish, I'll send you back to the same moment of time you have disappeared. No one will ever notice." -- he replies.

{Perhaps this scene needs some more extension. It shouldn't be so easy to make their minds after all. It needs to be justified enough why do they trust to the stranger.}

 

5. CHOOSING ACT II: Ready to go
After a quick thought-out, our heroes decide to go with him. (After all, what a better opportunity to gain their cutie marks?) He covers them all under his cape and they disappear from Equestria in a flash of light.
{Now we can see the connection with the hooking scene: The hooded pony was Starswirl himself. When he disappeared, being surrounded by the storm-troopers, he traveled back in time and appeared in front of CMCs to take them with him into the future.}

 

ACT II

 

6. "B" STORY: {I haven't decided yet. But it must reinforce the theme somehow.}

 

7.1. FUN & GAMES: In a galaxy, far, far away...

Starswirl slowly unveiled his cape, and through the brightness of daylight they slowly started to see silhouettes of some trees. They found themselves in a middle of a forest, in a beautiful autumn scenery. There were lots of fallen leaves laying under their hooves, all around the place. It seemed like a golden carpet. But lots of leaves were still hanging on the trees.
"Where are we?" -- asked Sweetie Belle, looking around carefully.
"Still in Equestria, but many centuries later." -- explained Starswirl.
"This is the future? It doesn't seem like one. Where are the spaceships, and robots, and other awesome things?" -- asked Scootaloo with disappointment.
"Soon you'll see them all. But now let's focus on our mission." -- Starswirl tempered her. -- "There's a secret underground installation of the Imperial Forces nearby. We need to infiltrate it and locate the mainframe controlling the power supply, which in turn controls the force-field shield surrounding the planet. The forces of the Rebellion are waiting in the outer space for us to turn off the shield, so they could attack the installation themselves and destroy it."

This sounded as a serious business.

"But listen carefully." -- he added -- "You must stay close to me, because I'm the only one who can send you back to your times. If you get lost, you'll never be able to return home again." -- said Starswirl with all seriousness. {What a better way to raise the stakes? ;-> } Hearing that, all three girls sticked to him as a burdock. {I need to find a better comparison :-P}

 

7.2. The Dark Moon
Looking around curiously in a hope to spot the invisible force field, Apple Bloom noticed something strange in the sky.
"What's that?" -- she asked, pointing at a barely visible, round object, a little bit darker than the sky surrounding it.
"Ah, yes, the Dark Moon" -- Starswirl answered her question.
"Dark Moon?" -- asked all three of our little heroes with confusion.
"Yes. It is an artificial satellite made of steel, floating around the planet on a high orbit."
"Coool!" -- said Scootaloo in awe. -- "What is it for?"
"Soon you'll find out." -- answered Starswirl cryptically.

7.3. FUN & GAMES: The entrance
"Allright, we're here." -- said Starswirl stopping suddenly.
He pointed with his hoof at some direction. They looked there and they saw some structures sticking out from the ground, covered with bushes. Something like a bunker, with a big gate made of steel. It was closed, and guarded by several ponies in white, robot-looking armors.
"Not good." -- said Starswirl -- "They tightened up the security after my last visit. {See? Told ya it was him ;-J } We need to find some other way to get past these storm-troopers."

 

Then we noticed the gate is opening, and a big lump of rusty steel on caterpillar tracks drove out through it, before they closed the gate again.
"I think I have an Idea how to get inside. Come on." -- said Starswirl to his team.

 

7.4. FUN & GAMES: Hide and seek
He stood in the middle of a glade, lightened up his horn with magic and levitated a bunch of fallen leaves into the air around us in a big swirl. Then he said: "Quick, we need to hide under these leaves. The entrance to the installation is carefully protected by storm-troopers, so we can't use that way. But there are leaf harvesters riding all around the forest, harvesting leaves and bringing them to the base, where they process them to make energy. This is our chance to pass the guards and to get inside unnoticed." They bunked down to the ground, and the huge tornado of leaves fallen upon them, covering them perfectly. "Now we need to wait for the harvester to come here."

After a while, they heard the harvester approaching. The noise of its engines were getting stronger, and a moment later it gobbled them into its mechanical intestines. Our little heroes were scared to death when all these gears and camshafts were rotating millimeters above their heads, but Starswirl kept watching on them to make sure they'll be safe. After they got into the leaf container they could breathe a sigh of relief, because it was less violent there. They waited there until the harvester passed the guards and dumped them with all the leaves through a chute into a silo, full of autumn leaves. Then they climbed into a bailer taking the leaves to the upper level.

 

7.5. FUN & GAMES: Air locks
On the upper level, there were some doors made of solid glass, with code locks. To get into the installation, our heroes had to figure out how to open them.
"Let's break them!" -- said Applebloom nonchalantly.

"Yeah, let's! And then let's get caught!" -- seconded her Scootaloo with a tone of sarcasm in her voice.

"Girls, calm down, we can just try to hack the locks." -- stopped them Sweetie Belle, and she took out a hairpin from her mane. {This is another reiteration of the theme. they have conflicting ideas and they fight whose is better, forcing the third one to choose, and the only way out is to choose something else.} She tried to fiddle with the locks, but she couldn't open them. The mechanism was too complicated.

"Uurgh, it is black magic to me!" -- she said nervously and dropped her hairpin to the ground.

"Magic, you say?" -- woke up Starswirl. -- "So let's fight magic with magic."

He touched the lock with his horn and tried to unlock it with magic. But when he tried his spells on it, some guards appeared on the other side, and when they saw the trespassers, they turned on the alarm.

 

---

 

OK, so much for now ;-) I'll leave you with a little cliff-hanger, although you probably know what will happen if you've read carefully the description of my dream (yes, enter the Time Reversal spell ;-J ). Next time I'll write some about what will happen inside the installation and how will they go before they'll get caught by Discord. But before that, I need to tidy up some parts of the story, especially the part with freeing Granny Smith and the thing with those batteries from their headsets.

Also, Discord has some surprises for you 

 

I'm very curious of how do you find this story so far and whether I shall continue writing it. If you have some critique or advices considering what I've written so far, feel free to comment.

Edited November 19, 2013 by SasQ

[Darker 1,351]

This is rather interesting.

But odd.

Both mythos, MLP and Star Wars are so different that is difficult to create a story that works of some sort.

[ChangelingPhilosophy 45]

Dear god, I wish my mind was that awesome.