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humor M.B.A. - Matriculatin' Businessmare Applejack


Doctor XFizzle

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This is my return to fic writing. First chapter is a little short until I get into a rhythm and get to flesh out the material a bit more. This fic is about Applejack taking business classes to help improve the farm. It's gonna be an educational comedy. So here's Chapter 1, hope you enjoy!

 

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Chapter 1: It’s Business, It’s Business Time

 

It was a blustery winter day at Sweet Apple Acres with the wind howling through the bare apple trees. In the kitchen sat Granny Smith and Applejack. A collection of Sweet Apple Acres’ sales reports were spread out on the table before them. Granny Smith rubbed her chin quizzically while glancing over a scroll entitled “Zap Apple Jam Sales and Revenues.” Applejack was pacing the kitchen floor awaiting Granny Smith’s analysis. Applejack was not one for numbers and annually relinquished the duties of reviewing the fancy mathematics to Granny Smith. After taking a sip of apple cinnamon tea, Granny Smith was ready to provide her business commentary.

 

“Well dearie, I don’t know how to put this but we’re flank deep in the latrine! Our sales weren’t too hot this year I’m afraid.”

 

“What do you reckon was the problem, Granny?” asked Applejack with concern in her voice.

 

Granny Smith put the scroll down on the table and turned to Applejack. “If I were a bettin’ mare, which I was back in the day mind you...”

 

Applejack rolled her eyes, “Yes, yes, we all know about your glory days when you…

 

“Bankrupted Las Pegasus in a single night with only five bits and an unhealthy love for pegasus racing,” said Granny Smith and Applejack simultaneously. Granny Smith continued, “That’s right! And it would’ve been two nights of winnin’ too if the mayor of Las Pegasus didn’t have me kicked out! No respect for high rollers I tells ya!”

 

“Get to the point, Granny!” Applejack barked.

 

Granny Smith settled back down. “If I were a bettin’ mare, I’d reckon to say that we failed to promote the farm. We gotta advertise! Ponies these days ain’t satisfied with just a good apple cider or a good jar of jam, they want some personality! Some moxie!”

 

Applejack looked upward in thought, “Well how do we go about doin’ that?”

 

“I don’t know, that’s above my pay grade hehehe.”

 

Applejack became confused. “Your what?”

 

“Ahh forget it sugarcube, it’s a business joke.” At that moment, Granny Smith’s face lit up as if she reached a great epiphany. “Business! You can take some business courses down at city hall to help the farm!”

 

Applejack immediately showed her disapproval. “Me? Takin’ business classes? I don’t know the first thing about business except that we make food and such for the citizens and they give us bits for it!”

 

Granny Smith walked over to Applejack and gave her a pat on the back. “I know you can do it! Besides, I’m too old, Big Macintosh is the muscle, and Apple Bloom isn’t even graduated from elementary yet. If you put your nose to the grindstone, you can become the next Donald Grump!”

 

“Donald who?” asked Applejack.

 

“Donald Grump, the billionaire donkey. He’s a real mule and his hairdo don’t look too right, but he’s got bits flowin’ out the wazoo!”

 

“Sounds like he should see a doctor…”

 

“I know you can do it Applejack, I believe in ya’!” said Granny Smith with a confident smile.

 

Applejack paused to think about Granny’s idea. She wondered if she could really take classes and learn enough concepts to improve the farm. In her wonderment, Applejack also pictured a mile long line of hungry ponies in front of Sweet Apple Acres, happily depositing their bits in exchange for delicious apple goods. Her mind wandered towards a fantastical setting where she was swimming in a pool of bits, Granny Smith hitting a jackpot on a slot machine with bits flowing out the chute and Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom making snow angels in a giant bit pile. A smile slowly formed from Applejack’s mouth.

 

“Alright Granny, I’ll do it! I’ll do my best and use my learnin’ to improve Sweet Apple Acres!”

 

“That’s my girl!”

 

Granny Smith and Applejack shared a warm embrace before Applejack trotted out of the room to plan out her next steps. Applejack decided that she would head to city hall in the morning and sign up for classes.  She didn’t know what to expect and would build up some anxiety when she pondered deeper. The anxiety would subside however when she reverted back to her previous fantasy of her family playing in the piles of bits they would make thanks to her expanded business knowledge. Applejack went to bed, enthusiastic for the day ahead and for the start of her journey as a new businessmare.

Edited by Doctor XFizzle
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