Starting up conversations?

[Ghost 173]

  I used to be very shy, but I've been trying hard to become more outgoing.  In the past, I'd never, or almost never talk to someone unless they talked to me first, but now I'm trying to change that.  Old habits can die hard though and sometimes I still get a bit nervous before talking to someone I don't know.  I'm getting better though.  I even started a conversation with someone on the bus once who was having a bad day and cheered her up a bit.  I would have never dreamed of doing that a few years ago.

[SomariFeyWright 776]

I'm actually really shy when it comes to instigating conversation. In fact, one of the reasons I advertise my fandoms so openly is because of the hope that someone will come up and talk to me. I'm ugly and tend to be rather quiet which thus leads to many people assuming I'm a normal person and thus not worth approaching, but still, it works sometimes.

[SS Patches 138]

i'm really really shy like won't even talk shy for example someone had asked me a question and i just looked at my friend who knows i'm really shy and he answered it for me though i'm a bit better on the forums but not by much i can talk normally with friends but it takes awhile before i get to that stage theirs only two people on the net who have gotten me to my talkative self. so if anyone wants to talk to me via PM don't be that offended if i don't talk at all or much.

[ReverseFaller 2,483]

I'm pretty awful at starting conversations.

 

Hyper Tumble, on 18 Dec 2013 - 4:44 PM, said:

I can start up a conversation w/ just about anybody. The only problem is getting them to respond... *forever aloneness intensifies*

 

Yeah, the same goes for me.

 

[Techite Sparkle 354]

Well online it is easy because I don't have to maintain a facial expression or hold a posture. But in real life this tends to be a bit hard and my shy side will most likely show. I like to talk but I don't like to be the header of the conversation that much xD.

[Doctor XFizzle 8,651]

It's hard for me to start a conversation with a random stranger out of the blue. It's easier to make small talk if its a mandatory interaction, like talking to a waiter/waitress or someone working the counter because you're gonna have to talk to them if you want your service. 

[Gone Airbourne 21,969]

 

 

I suck when it comes to thinking of topics.

 

 

Oh yeah I know tell me about it... Sometimes it can be hard to think of a topic to makes especially if what you wanted to make your topic on was already taken. 

 

I can communicate among friends I know much easier as opposed to just bring up a conversation out of the blue with someone... I do not see how others can do it though. 

[duidamasterXD 9,626]

Unless I know the person very well, forget about it. I feel uncomfortable approaching all kinds of people, from my roommate to friends I've known for months. It kinda varies from person to person, but at least I'm generally ok at carrying on a conversation once one has started.

[Raritas 6,820]

Oh yeah, I am terrible at talking to people. Be it online or not, I always feel like I'm going to say something stupid. I've talked to people on here a few times before, I just lack confidence to initiate conversations sometimes. I wish I could.

[Sugar Cube 4,843]

In real life I take up a bit of a "Don't speak unless spoken to" mentality more often than not. I've never been much of a social butterfly, but once I am spoken to and I get to where I feel comfortable with said person, I don't have too much trouble carrying on a conversation. If I don't know what to say I'll just ask a random question or give a friendly compliment.

 

But in general, I have always been the type who waits to be contacted, even on this forum. There are countless people here who I admire and wouldn't mind chatting with, but I am still a bit shy and I tend to worry if I will be bothering someone by sending a message. I am very much a friendly person though and as I said, once I get to a certain level of comfort, conversations tend to become a lot more natural and I become much more at ease. And if I really like someone, I can be quite a chatterbox.

[Mutemutt 772]

I've always been one to let others take the lead, so I don't normally start the conversations (this goes double for people I'm not really familiar with). It's not so much a being shy thing as it is a I just don't feel the need to talk kind of thing. I don't mind the silence really: I spent a whole year with a roommate I never really talked to unless it was necessary. If someone decides to strike up a conversation with me, sure, I'll talk. Getting those conversations off the ground is kind of tough though; if I have no interest in the conversation, you'll know: my body language makes it painfully obvious, much to my dismay (or maybe my relief ). And then there are those times where I really get into it and just talk and talk and talk.

 

Starting a conversation with someone I actually know well enough is pretty easy, I just have to be in the mood to do it.

[Stellafera 3,835]

Oh, I start up conversations easily; I just tend to then sit and listen a lot. I considered myself a "talkative introvert" up until the last few months, where people informed me that, actually, no, usually I'm just listening and occasionally interjecting. The other day, I listened to my older relatives talk about military stuff for hours. Half the time I didn't understand, but I was interested anyways. 

 

Online, I rarely initiate conversations, but I'm pretty talkative about responding to them. So, the reverse.

[Gone Airbourne 21,969]

I must say there are times where I will muster up the courage to start up a conversation. But it really depends to me how that conversation went and if I felt like that person actually enjoyed talking to me. If not I'd usually not start a conversation with that person again but I think it is a good thing to push yourself out of your comfort zone because usually people like it when others start the conversation first.

[ChoroChii 284]

I have difficulty making conversations apart of my routine. The people I talk to are normally based on familiarity and I have difficulties remembering to talk to others, even though I do want to be closer to others. 

[Jokuc 8,172]

Well it depends on how well I know the person. If it is someone I don't know at all I doubt it will be easy for me to start up a conversation xD

 

But with people I know alright it is quite easy for me to talk to them

[risingpulsar 9]

I'm a social retard. I'm always amazed with those who have amazing conversational charisma. I think I might actually have social anxiety, although not diagnosed.

 

In conversions, I mostly ask a lot of questions to appear that I'm participating, but i really suck at keeping the flow going. Oh well.

 

Kinda hard to make and keep friends irl. :-(

Edited January 11, 2014 by peachclouds

[Stick Shift 84]

For the majority of conversations I would not be the one to start up, but if i know the conversations topic is about something I am into (Games, cars, ponies, etc) I would make the initial starter for the conversation.

[Nerdy Luigi 2,064]

I can't.

Simply because I can't be social, because I'm socially awkward. I simply cannot even talk to most people. Even ones I know.

I have no clue how to be like a Mike Wazowski and talk to everyone. I simply can't do it.

I can, however, carry on a conversation alright-ish. Still a bit difficult for me. I just hate being social.

[John 793]

I used to be sort of on the shy side.  Then I stopped caring about the opinions of all of the menial peons around me.  I think that this is the best time in your life to consult Nike:

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=nike+just+do+it&espv=210&es_sm=93&tbm=isch&source=iu&imgil=VkEj8vb1aRvrXM%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcThxYPbr4_qXwmEha_25KHHemU7rwIjQZF3BLIK311X0-V1HltN5w%253B581%253B581%253BPpBG_cbSreISXM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.visiblemeasures.com%25252F2013%25252F07%25252F12%25252Fin-honor-of-the-25th-birthday-of-just-do-it-nikes-10-most-viral-campaigns%25252F&sa=X&ei=5d_PUqikB6misATYsYCYDQ&ved=0CC0Q9QEwAA&biw=1600&bih=799#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=VkEj8vb1aRvrXM%253A%3BPpBG_cbSreISXM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.visiblemeasures.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2013%252F09%252Fnike-just-do-it.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.visiblemeasures.com%252F2013%252F07%252F12%252Fin-honor-of-the-25th-birthday-of-just-do-it-nikes-10-most-viral-campaigns%252F%3B581%3B581

 

-- And also the best time to loosen up a bit.  Life is short.  I know it may be hard, but focus more on the things that mean something to you and less on about what other people think.  Ever since I got this mentality, I made tons of friends and had thousands of interesting conversations.  Sure, I was sort of awkward at first and I couldn't hold long conversations with people sort of unfamiliar to me.  I gained experience quickly in college and eventually was able to talk to people individually and in groups.  You just gotta be nice, agree with what people say, small talk in the right way, fill silences with subject-changes/silliness/other distractions, talk about your interests that you think will be socially acceptable, and then when you make good friends you can talk about your interests that aren't so socially acceptable.  Also, don't expect people to immediately be your friend.  It takes more than just a few conversations.  The longer the conversations, the better.

 

Best!

Edited January 10, 2014 by John

[SparklingSwirls 21,261]

I'm another person who's pretty bad at starting conversations. This is mostly due to the fact that I'm not very good at coming up with conversation topics. Still, if someone wants to start a conversation with me, and they already have a topic; then I'd try my best to keep the conversation interesting.

[Treble Bolt 1,122]

It depends for me.  If it's towards the "normal" peers around our age, I just flat out tend not to want to talk them.  There is really nothing I have in common with many other people my age. 

As for older people, I will start a converstation with grandparents and people of that age group once I know someone is a grumpy person. I love learning from them and more often then not, they enjoy getting their brains picked.  I don't have anything in common with parents, because I don't have kids, don't like that converstation (when are you going to have children, how many, BS like that), and other than petty hobbies like scrapbooking or golfing (petty in my opinion, but any hobby requires skill), it's hard to find parents or middle aged people in general that are into what my husband and I are into. So yeah, put me in a nursing home, and I'll talk/listen to the ederly from dawn til dusk. Put in front of anyone who is caught up in modern society and I'll just ignore you and go out of my way to keep small talk small if they iniate a conversation with me.

[Raritas 6,820]

I'm terrible with starting up conversations to be honest. I'm ok when I'm with my friends irl, but online with people I don't know, I can't do it

 

I'm trying to get better though, I've been saying that for a while, but I'm going to make an effort this year.

[Varrack 1,080]

I'd be glad to start a conversation if I had something exciting or interesting to say, or knowing that me just saying "hi" will start a long conversation. But I'd honestly prefer to let others take the lead.

[chaosprincess 1,064]

To be honest to me its hard to start up a conversation in today's society in person and online due to when you post or say something on a topic sometimes people just attack saying your wrong and this and that and it really discourages people especially when all you wanted to do was make a friend or have a friendly conversation.

[ponylaces 1,869]

I've always had trouble with coming up with what to talk about. It's harder than you think. I usually end up making it feel weird and forced, so I just let the other person start up the conversation. I'm good at keeping it going, but that's pretty much it.