Weird things you said.

[FullMetalDash 194]

Well............,

I was drunk......

"My mom should be replaced by a pegasus, so i could fly!" directly at my after that ex-Girlfriend.......

Silly me

[NomDeSpite 452]

My whole life revolves around saying weird things. Here's just a sample:

 

-"I've been going to high school since 1972 and I haven't learned a damn thing!" -me upon entering high school

-Movie Preview Voice: "This summer…what happens when a dentist goes too far…and starts challenging his patients to a boxing match? This is: DENTAL FIST."

 

-"You know how when you buy ice cream at the grocery store, they list the ingredients on the back of the container? Come on. Do you actually think those are the REAL ingredients? *ominous music plays*"

 

-"So, for Christmas my uncle got me this subscription to AWW SHEEET Magazine."
"What's in there?"
"Probably some things that'll make you go AWW SHEEET."

-"How old do you think the person driving that car is?"
*the car is a Lincoln Towncar*
"Centuries."

-"hey! give that back! I paid good money for that money!"
 

 

 

 

[TheMoonPie 15]

I was pretty drunk when I said this but, "Why aren't boxes made out of circles? That way we can just like roll our shit everywhere."

[MissDashie 275]

Well, I said this pure gem of dignity when I was forcing, er, persuading a boy I knew liked me to ask me out.

 

"Look Todd, all your teammates sold you out. They told me you like me. So, how about you be a darling and ask me out to dinner, would you please?"

 

And this was said while blocking him in a corner in the hallway. I'm a real paragon of ladylike behavior. 

[Metemponychosis 1,184]

"There is half a cockroach in my parmigiana. Can you bring another one before I decide that the other half is not lost in the plate and my appetite is gone for good?"

[Techite Sparkle 353]

"Why hello there you crazy Crackers! (I mean this in fashion of a Ritz Cracker)"

 

I said that alot when joining in a group of friends or so. Nothing like bargin in with a completely random statement xD

[Troblems 5,595]

"God, I hope that's his mom...Nope, it sure isn't."

 

That by itself wasn't that strange, however, they overheard me. I then ducked behind a trash can.

 

Smooooooooth.

Edited December 26, 2013 by Troblems

[DokiLoki 517]

''Daddy, is rain just God sweating?''

[HunterTSN 1,443]

Well once upon a time a friend told me to put something random in his yearbook so I, thinking I was being totally original and funny, wrote "get out of my shower" next to my signature. One thing lead to another and...

 

 

 

 

*WARNING: SHIRTLESS MALES SHOWERING TOGETHER IN INCREDIBLY AWKWARD SITUATIONS! NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART* 

[N.W. 3,615]

Sometimes when I'm random or just derping around, I make random and often vulgar statements.

You have been warned

 

 

Fuck me sideways with a waffle iron

Bloody sack of tree nipples

what the fucksack

 

 

Other non vulgar ones include

 

I must go home to feed my printer

How many potatoes are required to put a cow into orbit

excuse me I must go attend to my doorknob it is time for his opera

 

And many more

 

They make for good lols and confusing teachers at school.

[Troblems 5,595]

My husband just said this, and I thought it best I share.

 

There's no nerve endings in poop.

[Demonic Soulz 482]

It was actually me and a friend said

 

Me: *After dieing again in Dark Souls* SON OF A 

 

Friend: FRIDAY TODAY

 

Me: Uh....

 

Friend: Sorry happy its friday ad no school tomorrow

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. 

Edited October 9, 2018 by NONAME

[SharpWit 2,275]

like 4 years ago, my moms now husband and her were hanging out with friends, and he gets drunk. They had only been dating for a month but he kept saying, "I'm going to marry the hell out of you". they got married a little over a year ago

Another time, he had gotten his wisdom teeth pulled, and he was in and out of it from the medication. so he's asleep in the car but every few minutes he wakes up, looks over at her and says "your glasses look funny", for the whole way home

These next 2 are with my brothers. "1+1=6, because 1=3". I was seriously messing with my brothers

I was playing with the youngest when out of nowhere he says "I'm a bear, *pretends to pump shotgun and makes sound effect* with a gun".

I use to write tons of these down but I lost the list

[Lagom 204]

Once I used words from five languages while talking with my mom. Beside that I have probably said a lot of odd stuff such as '' I don't understand Taylor Swift '' and then start babbling about how I simply don't understand, why she writes about love and heartbreaks. Don't she ever emphasize with the guy she broke up with? Or at least respect the privacy of the relationship? The entire world does not need to know about the relationship. 

 

(No offence to Taylor Swift, I understand that she needs to make money and all that kind of stuff, but sometimes I just don't understand it entirely.)

[SharpWit 2,275]

Once I used words from five languages while talking with my mom. Beside that I have probably said a lot of odd stuff such as '' I don't understand Taylor Swift '' and then start babbling about how I simply don't understand, why she writes about love and heartbreaks. Don't she ever emphasize with the guy she broke up with? Or at least respect the privacy of the relationship? The entire world does not need to know about the relationship. 

 

(No offence to Taylor Swift, I understand that she needs to make money and all that kind of stuff, but sometimes I just don't understand it entirely.)

she needs facebook so she can express her feels in a way other than singing. Is she in the guineas book of world records for most failed relationships yet?

[Dark Heart 284]

Me at the marijuana Doctor:

 

"​Hi i would like to get a prescription for pot"  

Doctor: ok, What are you're symptons?

Me: Welp, i get pretty depress when i dont have pot, Marijuana cures me out of that 

Doctor:  :okiedokielokie:

[ghostfacekiller39 23,851]

In Skype a few minutes ago, when I asked Jokuc how to pronounce "Jokuc"

 

[7:51:11 PM] Jokuc: chose yourself

[7:51:29 PM] Jokuc: there's no official way to say it

[7:51:46 PM] ghostfacekiller39: K.

[7:51:52 PM] ghostfacekiller39: I'm going to say "Steve"

[Scootalove 10,677]

I said this in my sleep:

 

If you take the green pill, you will wake up in Equestria and if you take the red pill you will wake up in a ditch. Rest in pieces!

[CMQuickfireTK 751]

You know how people say "Go to h3ll" ?

 

well... I like to say:

 

Go to /dev/null

[Cakebandit :3 1,064]

I once said something about a dead bird hopping through the snow, my mom still forgotten this :|

[XxConfusedUnicornxX 832]

Two years ago I was 12 I was super green minded. I tuned down a bit by 1% ANyways I used to say 'brotherly sex' :I Yeah... weird. I said its when who brothers do each other. :I i hate myself XD

[toby rogers 258]

is it just me or are there three of you, sorry i stabbed you on purpose, oh the hue-manatee, to be honest i still don't believe you're real

[SolaceFall 21,279]

There was this one time I was out in public and I said this without really thinking much.... I think that dude over there is pregnant... Yeah then I just thought about what i had said and was like o.O I mean girl... yeah girl not dude...

[[racism 1] 324]

fdfdsa fd d asd adf  23r2r r2

Edited December 22, 2016 by plzremoveaccountfdfd