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Are online friends just as important as offline friends?


Crazy Misty

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I think it is because, irl friends are people you know very well. While, online friends you've only chat with them and you haven't  exactly officially met them.

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That's my point exactly. The internet turns that concept of "plenty of fish in the sea" to be able to access anyone whenever.

Like how they say you'll find the right people for you one day. The people that you can relate to, tend to live much further than friends that are only your friends for all the wrong reasons!

 

Yup! Finding people that are compatible with you is much easier when they're just a click away. I have about 1,000 people at my school, and I've met a ton and already know that I don't care for a ton. However, I haven't met nearly all of the internet. There's always more cool people out there.

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Why? Because I think there's something to the idea of face to face interaction that you don't get online.

 

The internet is a fascinating place in that it's both easier to be real and easier to be fake. On one hand, anonymity is what allows you to feel free to be yourself without judgment from others. I think I've been a little more direct and straightforward with my thoughts online than I am in real life. So here's value in that.

 

On the other hand, the internet is a very scripted place, and a place where you have less opportunity to really observe others. I can craft and edit my thoughts here with no time limit. I can say something to you that took maybe a minute for you to read, but 10 minutes for me to compose. This is why it's so easy to be fake online. The ability to meticulously craft and word you thoughts in the way that you want them to come out makes it so easy to manipulate them. In real life, you react instantly to others thoughts and it's much more difficult to mold your reactions. No to mention that in real lie, your reactions aren't going to be purely verbal. There's body language, facial expressions, and other responses that you're going to have to think about. To really convincingly create a fake persona in real life, you'd have to be a very skilled actor or con artist to pull it off.

 

So that's why I separate my internet friends from my RL friends. That's not to say that they're not valuable to me, but there is that extra layer of connection when you deal with them face to face.

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Its because you never actually have any face to face contact with them, they can as easily show tone of voice aswell as any form of emotion since they're using text, and they could possibly just deceive you since you can see their expressions or really know them.

 

They can still be friends, but it won't normally be at the same level as you can be with IRL friends. since you almost never meet them.

 

They also can't hug and comfort you, or do any IRL dependent activities. Its also not as easy to get in contact with them really.

 

So you can have IRL friends and still consider them friends, but many different factors make it so much different, and can inhibit the amount of things you can do and the extent of your friendship.

 

It also just doesn't feel complete, hardly ever seeing them. Maybe its just me. To be honest though the majority of my friends are actually online friends, but we're not particularly close really, we just kinda hang out and play games, thats about the extent of it. Maybe chat randomly and watch videos and such. We do chat on skype and stuff, but yeah. Its just not quite the same as IRL friends. Unfortunately I don't really have much of any of those at the moment :/.

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I agree with that deception concept. However, no body else seems to be that way unfortunately ya' know? I met a guy over craigslist in looking for band members and he's like the #1 friend I can refer to now-a-days. And he doesn't live that far too. While it is true that people can fake everything better (and believe me you, I would LOVE to see people get out of their house now-a-days instead of being tied to the lies of tv and the internet), there are some really great people online too. I think the convenience of technology is gonna send everyone into having more and more social and mental issues as time wears on.

Precisely. Once the trust barrier can be overcome, an online friendship can develop just as well as, if not better than, one in real life. The point is that it's much more difficult to communicate effectively with someone whose emotions cannot be read, whose background cannot be verified, and whose intentions cannot be ascertained. It's just my theory on why IRL friends are regarded as separate from online friends, so it's by no means true for all cases.

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Appearance and contact is just as important in a friendship/relationship. However, this is implying that no one can be fake in real life either. Surely it's harder, but like red and dash said you can always have face to face cam through skype. In the long run, people you meet "IRL" are better because of contact and interaction, but that's not to say that they are better people for you. I'd much rather have clean friends online instead of friends with alcohol, drug, and sex obsessions, not to mention a black & white view of things.
But the thing that makes me say there isn't a difference is that, faking a personality was done by someone in real life, people IN REAL LIFE invented the internet and someone has to respond from REAL LIFE unless it's computer automated. It's just associated that people tend to make fake accounts for things on the internet because they know they can't get in trouble as easily. In plain, people on the internet are stereotyped to be fakers as it is more common then in people in real life. The odds are against online relationships for this soul reason. But that's the thing, you can't guarantee someone is a certain way from being over the internet, just like people can be honest to you in real life or put on a false personality.

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As an avid online gamer, I must say after hanging with the same people in guilds, clans, whatever you wanna call them, for months, and even years day after day, I have formed closer relationships with more people I've met online than in real life. Sure, back before voice chat and such it was harder, and even now you still have to take everything with a grain of salt, but that is true for real life as well. You don't just jump head first upon meeting someone, IRL or online, and instantly assume they are your BFF and will look out for you and all that jazz. Like real life relationships, online ones take time to form.

 

Two of my closest friends I met playing Everquest 2. We were in a guild for 4 years. Now we meet up for conventions all over the country, hang out, play video games outside of MMOs, and sometimes just offer support if need be. I have exactly one person I met outside of the Innertubes that I am that close with or am willing to put that kind of trust into.

 

All in all, once you reach a certain point, in my eyes anyway, there really is no distinction between the two.

 

TL;DR: The Internet is a great place to make friends, if you use some semblance of judgment.

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My mom always jokingly calls my online friends my "imaginary friends". Lol.

 

I don't think there's much of a difference except for the fact that I have more and better online friends. I have a few good irl friends but I'm really limited to the amount of people I can come in contact with irl. 

 

Online it's far simpler and I meet a ton of different people. I have a handful of online friends that I consider just as much my friend as my irl ones. I'll Skype chat with 'em, play games, etc. I honestly find it easy to maintain contact with online friends, since I'm kind of an introvert and I frequently blow off friends and outside things. 

 

 

Hahaha, My Mom always called my online friends that as well!

 

I remember when I was younger I used to argue that I knew my online friends better than any of my IRL friends. I will never say that online friends aren't real friends. However, we do have to keep in mind that people are meant to communicate in various ways. Lack of tone, inflection, body language, etc can be an issue. Because these things are missing in most online interactions our brain tends to replace them with our own feelings, thoughts, etc.

 

One of the reasons you always seem to get along with online friends better, or an online relationship seems so much more compatible is because we're filling in the missing bits with bits of ourselves.

 

I don't know about you, but I happen to be pretty in love with myself so I can see how that would be a problem! ;)

 

I've met a lot of wonderful people online. I figure as long as I keep in mind the communication issues it shouldn't bee too much of a problem.

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-snip-

 

Your topic, 'Why separate online friends from "IRL friends"?' has been merged with 'Are Online friends just as important as friends in person?', as I believe they more or less correlate to the same topic of online friends VS offline friends, and how important one is in comparison to the other.

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The only people I would even really consider to be my friends are the ones I've met online...

 

I met my two best friends online about 5 years ago and it's probably the best thing that's happened to me... until of course, one of them (a girl, not that that really matters) showed us MLP and we all became bronies together :D

 

 

I'm also extremely shy irl and everyone here is really stupid or something, and I hate being around a lot of people, especially strangers, which is what most people feel like to me, strangers. :/

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I have to say sometimes online friends (or just people) make me very happy. For example:

 

 

Speaking from the heart is quite a delicate art, and it was my pleasure to help you express your thoughts. I'm glad I could express what you were unable to compose into a post, sometimes the words you want to express don't come to mind right away.

 

 

Sometimes I think not being face to face helps us communicate better. 

Edited by DarkEly
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I feel closer to online friends than I do my real life friends, probably because I can act more like myself. I have no fear of getting rejected or ridiculed. I'm a bit odd, so maybe those are just my fears and nothing would really happen. I still wouldn't bring up certain things willingly to my real life friends, and it would take a lot less persuasion to bring them up to my online friends.

 

 

Sometimes I think not being face to face helps us communicate better.

 

It definitely helps out a lot of people, but everyone's different. I know for a fact that it definitely helps me out.

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  • 8 months later...

I'd definitely say that online friendships and online relationships can be just as great if not even better than ones you can encounter in real life. Notice how I said "can be." That doesn't necessarily mean it's always the case. As Aquila has pointed out, trust is a huge factor that must be accomplished in order for a friendship of any kind to form and develop strongly. This applies also to friendships and connections online as well. With the internet, depending on where you look, you have the opportunity to make friends with anyone around the world, as there is no physical limit or barrier preventing you from communicating with them. So I can easily see the advantage there. However there is always that problem of mistrust, misinterpretation, and deception that people online are very vulnerable to. So it's easy to see why some people would be so against it. Overall I see both sides of the argument here. In my best guess, what it really comes down to, is the two individuals involved and the amount of trust and honesty they display to one another. 

 

As for me, the majority of all my wonderful friends are online, here on the forums. I'm actually quite lonely IRL, but it's okay. My friends online are still just as awesome and genuine to me.  :) Heck, my girlfriend is a member on here, and I'd say we are definitely a great example of a beautiful and successful online friendship. Our trust and amount of honesty that we display to each other is amazing. She's not just my gf, she's also a true true friend I am grateful to have met. :)

 

So yeah, it is possible to have a great, genuine, and trustworthy friend online. Just be cautious and aware. It depends on the individual. And once you reach that great level of trust and comfort, then I'd say you have achieved a wonderful friendship that is only bound to get stronger over time. ;)

Edited by Dsanders
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Def. are important friends just as much as ones you have offline. 

 

Getting to know someone online is not as easy though and trust is the biggest thing in any friendship. And you certainly have to becareful with whom you trust nowadays.... 

 

I personally have never made any friends over online until now since this place was the first forums of any type I have been apart of. In the time I have been here let me say I have met some very very kind people through this site. Leads me wondering if after this site loses popularity will we remain in contact or will everyone move onto something else. Regardless I do enjoy the fact of having being able to meet such awesome people through these means. And some people whom I have met on here I'd consider as close to some of my really close friends I have known for awhile.

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Yes, they're just as important. I seem to enjoy my online friends more than my real life ones since they're usually funnier and more interesting. If anything, I value my online friends more than my real life ones. 

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Yes they are important. For me it's just like chatting to one of my in real friends in person, even though it's through the web. Or chances are my bestie and I know the same person online and group chat and stuff.

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I think it's different, but I don't know if it s more or less important.  For real life friends, there is the benefit of shared experiences, something that can't be replicated online.  But at the same time online there's a chance for greater emotional immediacy, since there's less willingness to hold back your own thoughts because of what others might think.  And I think that more than anything, friendship online crosses racial and cultural barriers much more easily than real life.  I bet at least a few of us here can say that they are friends online with someone with a different race, age group, or even country.

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Well my post may be a long ramble to some but try to hear me out. I suck at thinking things out. Anywho. Based on many parents opinion's today. They believe friends that you meet in real life are better. Which when put into words... is most certainly true. Because a real life friend is someone you will have actual life experiences with and you can many times relate to in person. Which I agree with. But then comes when you may be judged by emotional or physical/expressional appearance. Most of the time this is expressed in real life more than online. And more of the time in real life you are judged by this... which makes perfect sense. Because people online most of the time wont know. Even if you posted a welcome video of yourself. Lol somebody may doubt that is even you when it comes to that. But real life friends you can directly relate too is the point. And now to online friends. Many parents when you think of it may understand the concept and simply wont agree with it because they may think that talking to people you will never meet. And that you might never see or how they look like. Or if they are who they say they really are. (I've actually seen that kind of incident before... on a online game called Runescape I think before...) you might never know. But deep inside it is nice to know if you can't find someone with a similar interest. As lets say. I am a honest fan of My little pony: Friendship is magic. If I can't find someone in real life who does. I have seen a few people at school who may be a brony. Well lets say its nice to communicate with somebody who has a common interest here. So I'm not really sure how to judge here... I agree way to much with my parents though that I need to get out more and socialize and make more friends. What though I have actually tryed approving upon this schoolyear and have made a few more friends. May not necessarily be bronys but they know I am now and they accept me for it. I just wish I had somebody other than my parents to talk about this in real life without getting a weird side comment. that's what's nice about online friends. You don't get bad side comments alot of the time :/. And when I'm done with my homework (I need to take more responsibility of this) when I'm done studying. When I'm done eating. If I've did something productive. If I sit on my wii and watch tv for a hour. It would be nice to watch MLP with somebody in real life you know... its a kids show parents will say but many will criticize it for being for young girls and you should watch something more productive... well maybe I should... even though this year I'm making a few mistakes in school well my gosh I need to fix them. But with all honesty the aspect of the show has helped me fix some bad things I used to do. Yeah maybe some porn JOKES. Or putting things of. My ADHD making me ramble here and there. The voices in my head. And my crazy past. My parents say that I should not be rambling online. Well from what I have just said here their probably... no they are right. Might aswell tell them this to. I like MLP:FIM and here I can talk to people openly about it and people here are good friends though I may know nothing about them. Sorry I ramble but hopefully somebody can relate. Maybe in real life too...

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I'm not sure if I truly have friends in real life. There are people I talk to, but no one who sincerely cares for me, and no one I sincerely care for. I'm quite the loner, and I'm pretty content with that.

 

My relationships online are much stronger, but it's still hard to tell. You never really know a person's true intentions...

Edited by The Dark Passenger
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  • 6 years later...

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